Mother surprised DD with tickets to a concert she doesn’t want to go to

[Anonymous]

Tell her to view it as an experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh OP that is such a cool and generous gift from your mom. Your 14 year old is lucky!

I know why OP didn’t go out and immediately tell people it was a Taylor Swift concert because for some reason Taylor Swift fans can’t understand that not everyone is dying to go to her concert.

[Anonymous]

I will be there the night before! So excited!

[Anonymous]

I would take this bullet for my kid by telling my mom that I'm not comfortable with her going out of state without me and that if she can't get me a ticket too she can't go. Wow your mom is a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Tell your mom that your daughter cannot miss high school to fly out to Miami for a concert.

[Anonymous]

I think many of the PPs are unduly swayed by the fact that it's a concert that they/their child would love to go to. Substitute a less popular singer and I think the answers would be much different.

I don't think it's right to force your kid to go on an out-of-town trip to go to an event she doesn't want to attend. There's nothing wrong with politely telling your mother this. She chose to roll the dice in making plans without consulting you/your DD so she shouldn't be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom didn’t ask you about this first?

I feel like it is inappropriate to buy concert tickets for a child that isn’t yours and requires and overnight stay out of state. I get “grandma” but still…not the parent. That would be something that requires parental permission and to make sure it is something the child would actually want to do before getting and surprising

No, she didn’t. I’m not upset she didn’t ask really. I just wish my mom was more interested in gifts that cater to our kids interests rather giving the biggest, most extravagant, most expensive gifts.

[Anonymous]

It's rude to give a gift that imposes obligations on the recipient (travel, pet, gym membership) without confirming the gift is welcome. So no. I wouldn't make her go.

[Anonymous]

Concerts are pretty much always fun. I am introverted and not into music, but I have never regretted tagging along to shows with my friends, even when I didn’t know the band.

The TS shows do not feel crowded. Honestly. Everybody is super polite.

It was a sweet gift from grandma and I don’t know how she did it. Money or time, it was an investment.

I would encourage DD to go and come up with something nice to say to grandma. It won’t be hard in the end, she will have fun.

If she absolutely can’t go along, sell the tickets and use part of the money to do something charitable or go to lunch with grandma. Maybe there could be a scheduling conflict with the concert date.

[Anonymous]

I’ll go! Sounds awesome!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom didn’t ask you about this first?

I feel like it is inappropriate to buy concert tickets for a child that isn’t yours and requires and overnight stay out of state. I get “grandma” but still…not the parent. That would be something that requires parental permission and to make sure it is something the child would actually want to do before getting and surprising

No, she didn’t. I’m not upset she didn’t ask really. I just wish my mom was more interested in gifts that cater to our kids interests rather giving the biggest, most extravagant, most expensive gifts.

I was going to say I get a vibe grandma was giving gifts based on who she wants DD to be instead of who she is but I don't know enough about your mom. Kind of like giving makeup, jewelry, and dresses for a tomboy or sports stuff to a bookworm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many of the PPs are unduly swayed by the fact that it's a concert that they/their child would love to go to. Substitute a less popular singer and I think the answers would be much different.

I don't think it's right to force your kid to go on an out-of-town trip to go to an event she doesn't want to attend. There's nothing wrong with politely telling your mother this. She chose to roll the dice in making plans without consulting you/your DD so she shouldn't be surprised.

Not only this but I also think reactions would be different if OP said from stepmother or Mil...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's rude to give a gift that imposes obligations on the recipient (travel, pet, gym membership) without confirming the gift is welcome. So no. I wouldn't make her go.

I’m OP.

When I turned 12 I wanted a very specific board game that probably cost $18. Instead she got me a horse and riding lessons despite my never showing an interest and it ended up being something I was suppose to devote my time and energy to. If I didn’t I was guilt tripped.

I told DD this story. I said I had to live with the consequences for 6 years. DD just has to devote a day and a half. I’m gonna stop pushing it for now but DD wants a “I don’t have to go, right?” From me now. I’d really rather her wait to see how she feels 13 months from now.

[Anonymous]

If she doesnt want to go I wouldnt force her. I too would take the bullet and be the bad guy and tell grandma that no way is she missing HS classes to fly to miami for a concert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom didn’t ask you about this first?

I feel like it is inappropriate to buy concert tickets for a child that isn’t yours and requires and overnight stay out of state. I get “grandma” but still…not the parent. That would be something that requires parental permission and to make sure it is something the child would actually want to do before getting and surprising

No, she didn’t. I’m not upset she didn’t ask really. I just wish my mom was more interested in gifts that cater to our kids interests rather giving the biggest, most extravagant, most expensive gifts.

I was going to say I get a vibe grandma was giving gifts based on who she wants DD to be instead of who she is but I don't know enough about your mom. Kind of like giving makeup, jewelry, and dresses for a tomboy or sports stuff to a bookworm.

DD is definitely not what my mother wants in a granddaughter and I wasn’t what she wanted in a daughter. But I love my mother regardless and she loves us.