Scared of getting married because of divorce horror stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the attraction to a woman who makes only 1/10 your income? I suspect that’s not the only imbalance. Question why you want to be with someone who is okay with this imbalance. Question why you are okay with this imbalance.

I think your whole relationship is a red flag: she’s presumable less educated than you, statistically she is less intelligent than you, less driven. What’s the connection?

So a person's income is part of "attraction" in your mind. Got it. And anyone who doesn't make a certain income level is presumed to be less intelligent, less educated and less driven.

PP, you won't believe this because you are surely certain your experience and values are The Only Way, but your life experience of different types of people, with careers and values different from your own, is extremely limited. How sad for you. But you're probably in an echo chamber of like-minded people who will only associate with those in their income bracket and who live on assumptions that those not in particular fields are not driven, intelligent or educated, because you associate those qualities only with income levels. Enjoy the bubble.

No that’s not what I said. I said that with a low income comes other statistically likely things. Someone making $500k is stistcically more likely to be intelligent, well educated and driven than someone making $50k. It’s so statistically likely that I think it’s safe to assume ops gf is all those things unless he tells us otherwise. I think all of those things are red flags. Not the lack of income by itself, but all the correlating features that are probably true here.

Also, any woman who is 27 and making $50k (again, making some assumptions here) is well, not super financially responsible. Instead of putting in their own hard work to guarantee a financial future, their plan is to (hopefully) find a man and let him do the hard work. You can build a financially stable life on $50k. So yeah that’s another huge red flag: overall irresponsibility.

[Anonymous]

You can try to beat the assortive mating odds, but they are not in your favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sons will be told to marry a girl with her own income.

Just like my parents told me to always be able to support myself (keep a foot in the workplace) because you never know what will happen in life.

Get an ironclad pre-nup.

I can’t think of any educated, professional young woman I know who would agree to a prenup. Barring significant family wealth, any man that asks is in red flag territory.

I advise my DD to have her own career, marry a peer and avoid guys who need/want a prenup. It’s a terrible financial and life decision!

[Anonymous]

I mean, you are banking half of your income on her, but she is banking ALL of her youth and beauty on you.
You both have a lot to lose in a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the attraction to a woman who makes only 1/10 your income? I suspect that’s not the only imbalance. Question why you want to be with someone who is okay with this imbalance. Question why you are okay with this imbalance.

I think your whole relationship is a red flag: she’s presumable less educated than you, statistically she is less intelligent than you, less driven. What’s the connection?

Until we know their ages, professions and salaries it’s impossible to assert any of this.

My niece is a research scientist, she makes peanuts but is extremely intelligent and driven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you are banking half of your income on her, but she is banking ALL of her youth and beauty on you.
You both have a lot to lose in a divorce.

Oh, not to mention her ability to bear children. If she marries you and stays married long enough to get alimony, you are going to be the father of her children.
She’s putting everything she has on you being a good guy who will love her and take care of her.

[Anonymous]

Pre-nup.

[Anonymous]

Then don’t get married. See how easy that is. Don’t ever get married. If you are looking to marry yourself in a wig basically, what is the point. Just buy a nice mirror.

[Anonymous]

Marry a woman who can make bank. You will regret it if you don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

So you were looking for an egg donor, a surrogate and a sex partner in one. Why would you settle for the dumbest woman? Who would agree to this arrangement if not a stupid person?

There are plenty of hot intelligent women ( and I am not talking about book smarts) out there. Why would you intentionally procreate with a stupid person? What is wrong with you?

It is obvious why. Because he can’t get hot intelligent women. So he is settling for the dumb ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marry a woman who can make bank. You will regret it if you don’t.

They don’t want him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marry a woman who can make bank. You will regret it if you don’t.

Why would they want to marry him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sons will be told to marry a girl with her own income.

Just like my parents told me to always be able to support myself (keep a foot in the workplace) because you never know what will happen in life.

Get an ironclad pre-nup.

I can’t think of any educated, professional young woman I know who would agree to a prenup. Barring significant family wealth, any man that asks is in red flag territory.

I advise my DD to have her own career, marry a peer and avoid guys who need/want a prenup. It’s a terrible financial and life decision!

New PP, also pre-nups only protect pre-marital property. Not property acquired during the marriage. That might be a post-nup, but I don't think that really protects you from a SAHP not being able to make as much money because they have no career history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you are banking half of your income on her, but she is banking ALL of her youth and beauty on you.
You both have a lot to lose in a divorce.

Oh, not to mention her ability to bear children. If she marries you and stays married long enough to get alimony, you are going to be the father of her children.
She’s putting everything she has on you being a good guy who will love her and take care of her.

This is a much bigger risk for the woman.

[Anonymous]

Here’s the thing—If you want to be a certain type of highly successful sole earner with a SAHM and kids I think it is even more important you select for a spouse who is organized, detail oriented, financially wise etc. Do you trust them to handle things at home? Help your kids with the college application process? Budget and evaluate spending decisions (even rich people need to budget and comparison shop)?

Now anyone can have these qualities but it’s true someone who is good at managing their own career, education and income is more likely to have these qualities.