Scared of getting married because of divorce horror stories

[Anonymous]

OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you deal with this? I would be the sole breadwinner too. She makes 1/10th my income and will probably become a SAHM. If we divorce I will be ruined financially.

We have zero issues in our relationship, I just tend to think of worst case scenarios.

the risk is real as you know.

you say there sre no issues in the relationship but have you tested her?. Women constantly test their prospective partners but men tend not too. How does she handle being denied what she want? What kind of comments does she make about others? Whats her friend group like - are they single/divorced, do they have good character, etc? Hoe does she handle you taking a leadership role in the relationship? Does she constantly post on social media for validation? Or insisting on going out to bars with the girls to get hit on. The list goes on. Be on the lookout for pettiness, vindictiveness, narcissistic behavior.

None of these are guarantees of course but you should never even consider marriage without testing your woman.

What kinds of tests do you do to your women, pp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and a lot of people responding here should not (or shouldn’t have) get married. You clearly don’t want a life partner, and that’s fine. Just don’t do it.

They don't meet your definition of marriage.

Plenty of people in the hood or in Appalachia have kids with their boyfriends without getting married. Here it is being suggested you can get married but carve out( with full legal disclosure) certain aspects of marriage as defined by state law( like the right to alimony or asset sharing). Consenting adults can decide for themselves if they thing this makes sense for them.

If I had a wife that made millions a year and said she would pay all the bills and I can save my own money, hell yes I would sign a prenup. It would be wrong for me to think I have a right to the money she makes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and a lot of people responding here should not (or shouldn’t have) get married. You clearly don’t want a life partner, and that’s fine. Just don’t do it.

They don't meet your definition of marriage.

Plenty of people in the hood or in Appalachia have kids with their boyfriends without getting married. Here it is being suggested you can get married but carve out( with full legal disclosure) certain aspects of marriage as defined by state law( like the right to alimony or asset sharing). Consenting adults can decide for themselves if they thing this makes sense for them.

If I had a wife that made millions a year and said she would pay all the bills and I can save my own money, hell yes I would sign a prenup. It would be wrong for me to think I have a right to the money she makes.

Then date her and don’t get married. Jesus! What is so hard about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and a lot of people responding here should not (or shouldn’t have) get married. You clearly don’t want a life partner, and that’s fine. Just don’t do it.

They don't meet your definition of marriage.

Plenty of people in the hood or in Appalachia have kids with their boyfriends without getting married. Here it is being suggested you can get married but carve out( with full legal disclosure) certain aspects of marriage as defined by state law( like the right to alimony or asset sharing). Consenting adults can decide for themselves if they thing this makes sense for them.

If I had a wife that made millions a year and said she would pay all the bills and I can save my own money, hell yes I would sign a prenup. It would be wrong for me to think I have a right to the money she makes.

Oh come on.

This woman is going to be a SAHM taking care o
f OP's kids. Shouldn't that count for something? Or are millions the only valuables in this world?

Your scenario might work for a childless couple that outsources housekeeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and a lot of people responding here should not (or shouldn’t have) get married. You clearly don’t want a life partner, and that’s fine. Just don’t do it.

They don't meet your definition of marriage.

Plenty of people in the hood or in Appalachia have kids with their boyfriends without getting married. Here it is being suggested you can get married but carve out( with full legal disclosure) certain aspects of marriage as defined by state law( like the right to alimony or asset sharing). Consenting adults can decide for themselves if they thing this makes sense for them.

If I had a wife that made millions a year and said she would pay all the bills and I can save my own money, hell yes I would sign a prenup. It would be wrong for me to think I have a right to the money she makes.

Oh come on.

This woman is going to be a SAHM taking care o
f OP's kids. Shouldn't that count for something? Or are millions the only valuables in this world?

Your scenario might work for a childless couple that outsources housekeeping.

Giving her something is fair, not half, not lifetime alimony or anything close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You almost had me until the oddly out of place fake names at the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and a lot of people responding here should not (or shouldn’t have) get married. You clearly don’t want a life partner, and that’s fine. Just don’t do it.

They don't meet your definition of marriage.

Plenty of people in the hood or in Appalachia have kids with their boyfriends without getting married. Here it is being suggested you can get married but carve out( with full legal disclosure) certain aspects of marriage as defined by state law( like the right to alimony or asset sharing). Consenting adults can decide for themselves if they thing this makes sense for them.

If I had a wife that made millions a year and said she would pay all the bills and I can save my own money, hell yes I would sign a prenup. It would be wrong for me to think I have a right to the money she makes.

Oh come on.

This woman is going to be a SAHM taking care o
f OP's kids. Shouldn't that count for something? Or are millions the only valuables in this world?

Your scenario might work for a childless couple that outsources housekeeping.

Giving her something is fair, not half, not lifetime alimony or anything close.

What I don't get is why these men with stay at home wives also want the children. And then usually also want the woman to mainly care for them. There are entire countries where almost everything still is done on the barter system. Why do you think your money is so precious compared to things other people do for work that isn't charged? People pay millions for a nanny, housekeeper, nurse, cook, activity planner, social coordinator, appointment maker and keeper, sex outlet. Are the people posting here so engulfed in their work that they have no understanding of other parts of life? It just all seems so immature. Alimony is usually only when kids are home and is less than you would pay anyone to do the above by far. The argument just doesn't make a lot of sense. I think these people just don't want to put in the work of marriage probably like a lot of things in their life. Marriage is for people who have a decent level of maturity. Maybe that isnt you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You sound delightful. I would LOVE to hear the shrew's side of why she "retired" and why you two got divorced.

You give this advice to your son, who the shrew gestated for you? Your son who what, you wish you never had? Is he the "millstone" you refer to?

BTW This is the same advice I give my daughters. A man is just one more baby you have to take care of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you deal with this? I would be the sole breadwinner too. She makes 1/10th my income and will probably become a SAHM. If we divorce I will be ruined financially.

We have zero issues in our relationship, I just tend to think of worst case scenarios.

Wrong. SAHM is a marital privilege. Once she gets divorced, she loses that privilege. She needs to get a job and support herself, as all functioning adults must do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You sound delightful. I would LOVE to hear the shrew's side of why she "retired" and why you two got divorced.

You give this advice to your son, who the shrew gestated for you? Your son who what, you wish you never had? Is he the "millstone" you refer to?

BTW This is the same advice I give my daughters. A man is just one more baby you have to take care of.

+1 I was thinking the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

[Anonymous]

I read posts like these and know how screwed up others are and so many have crazy ideas of marriage roles and rules. I wouldn't want my kids to marry yours. Hopefully, those of us with marriages based on love and being a team, have kids who will meet each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

What about when women marry a rich guy? Arguably, they do far less than if they married a middle class guy--cleaning, much of childcare etc is outsourced. So they do less but get way more--live in a nicer place, better lifestyle for themselves and their off spring.

Sorry, I don't believe Mrs. Bezos deserved even 1% of Jeff's wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

Men, at any age, are desperate to marry. Those who can't, die younger. Marriage as an institution was set up to benefit men. The more educated and financially independent women become, the more they scrutinize the value of marriage.