Scared of getting married because of divorce horror stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

What about when women marry a rich guy? Arguably, they do far less than if they married a middle class guy--cleaning, much of childcare etc is outsourced. So they do less but get way more--live in a nicer place, better lifestyle for themselves and their off spring.

Sorry, I don't believe Mrs. Bezos deserved even 1% of Jeff's wealth.

So my husband and my's situation is fairly common. we met both working at the same demanding firm in the same role with backgrounds from the same business school and comparable college. So fairly safe to assume we had the same potential. Decided to have kids - for one we juggled a lot and managed, by the time we had #2, something had to give and it was my career. We couldn't raise our children well (to us) and have us both be on the road a lot, both missing dinners regularly, both needing to jump on unexpected client calls during bath time etc. We could have both pulled way back to 40hr per week jobs but then our combined income would probably be about 1/4 of what he makes on his own in a high travel / longer hours job. That actually would have been fine with me but it wasn't with him.

So we now have what looks like a very traditional marriage. His star has risen and mine is in the shitter. I've worked in various roles but no ones is giving the important exciting work to the person that has to be out the door at a certain time no matter what or has to cover all sick days no matter how important a meeting is. I likely have more downtime than him but I also haven't had an uninterrupted nights sleep in 7 years, am always up with a kid by 5:45am, always covering bedtime no matter how run down or sick i may be etc. Even if you outsource cleaning and some child care, the physical toll of the little kid years is real.

He would not be able to have his career and 3 children if it wasn't for me and what I cover. If we got divorced, he'd have to decide to only have a tiny percent of custody to accommodate his unpredictable schedule or to pull waaaay back professionally to meet the needs of his kids.

I'm not asking for sympathy - we are obviously lucky. But I don't understand at all why i wouldn't deserve 50% of our families assets when we worked and made decisions as a team to acquire them and each took the lumps along with it (for me trashing my career that could have equaled his and for him seeing his kids less than if i'd been the one to keep the career while he pulled back). Would he only deserve 5% of custody since that's his relative contribution to the work of taking care of our kids? We each keep the assets we personally built - money for him and children for me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

What about when women marry a rich guy? Arguably, they do far less than if they married a middle class guy--cleaning, much of childcare etc is outsourced. So they do less but get way more--live in a nicer place, better lifestyle for themselves and their off spring.

Sorry, I don't believe Mrs. Bezos deserved even 1% of Jeff's wealth.

So my husband and my's situation is fairly common. we met both working at the same demanding firm in the same role with backgrounds from the same business school and comparable college. So fairly safe to assume we had the same potential. Decided to have kids - for one we juggled a lot and managed, by the time we had #2, something had to give and it was my career. We couldn't raise our children well (to us) and have us both be on the road a lot, both missing dinners regularly, both needing to jump on unexpected client calls during bath time etc. We could have both pulled way back to 40hr per week jobs but then our combined income would probably be about 1/4 of what he makes on his own in a high travel / longer hours job. That actually would have been fine with me but it wasn't with him.

So we now have what looks like a very traditional marriage. His star has risen and mine is in the shitter. I've worked in various roles but no ones is giving the important exciting work to the person that has to be out the door at a certain time no matter what or has to cover all sick days no matter how important a meeting is. I likely have more downtime than him but I also haven't had an uninterrupted nights sleep in 7 years, am always up with a kid by 5:45am, always covering bedtime no matter how run down or sick i may be etc. Even if you outsource cleaning and some child care, the physical toll of the little kid years is real.

He would not be able to have his career and 3 children if it wasn't for me and what I cover. If we got divorced, he'd have to decide to only have a tiny percent of custody to accommodate his unpredictable schedule or to pull waaaay back professionally to meet the needs of his kids.

I'm not asking for sympathy - we are obviously lucky. But I don't understand at all why i wouldn't deserve 50% of our families assets when we worked and made decisions as a team to acquire them and each took the lumps along with it (for me trashing my career that could have equaled his and for him seeing his kids less than if i'd been the one to keep the career while he pulled back). Would he only deserve 5% of custody since that's his relative contribution to the work of taking care of our kids? We each keep the assets we personally built - money for him and children for me?

It's something that can be negotiated.

I know too many country club women that just play tennis and shop. They never had much in terms of earning potential. So I don't see them as deserving even close to half.

1/2 is the default, a prenup gets around that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

What about when women marry a rich guy? Arguably, they do far less than if they married a middle class guy--cleaning, much of childcare etc is outsourced. So they do less but get way more--live in a nicer place, better lifestyle for themselves and their off spring.

Sorry, I don't believe Mrs. Bezos deserved even 1% of Jeff's wealth.

So my husband and my's situation is fairly common. we met both working at the same demanding firm in the same role with backgrounds from the same business school and comparable college. So fairly safe to assume we had the same potential. Decided to have kids - for one we juggled a lot and managed, by the time we had #2, something had to give and it was my career. We couldn't raise our children well (to us) and have us both be on the road a lot, both missing dinners regularly, both needing to jump on unexpected client calls during bath time etc. We could have both pulled way back to 40hr per week jobs but then our combined income would probably be about 1/4 of what he makes on his own in a high travel / longer hours job. That actually would have been fine with me but it wasn't with him.

So we now have what looks like a very traditional marriage. His star has risen and mine is in the shitter. I've worked in various roles but no ones is giving the important exciting work to the person that has to be out the door at a certain time no matter what or has to cover all sick days no matter how important a meeting is. I likely have more downtime than him but I also haven't had an uninterrupted nights sleep in 7 years, am always up with a kid by 5:45am, always covering bedtime no matter how run down or sick i may be etc. Even if you outsource cleaning and some child care, the physical toll of the little kid years is real.

He would not be able to have his career and 3 children if it wasn't for me and what I cover. If we got divorced, he'd have to decide to only have a tiny percent of custody to accommodate his unpredictable schedule or to pull waaaay back professionally to meet the needs of his kids.

I'm not asking for sympathy - we are obviously lucky. But I don't understand at all why i wouldn't deserve 50% of our families assets when we worked and made decisions as a team to acquire them and each took the lumps along with it (for me trashing my career that could have equaled his and for him seeing his kids less than if i'd been the one to keep the career while he pulled back). Would he only deserve 5% of custody since that's his relative contribution to the work of taking care of our kids? We each keep the assets we personally built - money for him and children for me?

I think you'd each deserve half of everything you've created but it sounds like you're happy continuing as a team and don't need to worry about divorce and custody arrangements because you haven't been making decisions on selfish terms but as what works best for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

What about when women marry a rich guy? Arguably, they do far less than if they married a middle class guy--cleaning, much of childcare etc is outsourced. So they do less but get way more--live in a nicer place, better lifestyle for themselves and their off spring.

Sorry, I don't believe Mrs. Bezos deserved even 1% of Jeff's wealth.

So my husband and my's situation is fairly common. we met both working at the same demanding firm in the same role with backgrounds from the same business school and comparable college. So fairly safe to assume we had the same potential. Decided to have kids - for one we juggled a lot and managed, by the time we had #2, something had to give and it was my career. We couldn't raise our children well (to us) and have us both be on the road a lot, both missing dinners regularly, both needing to jump on unexpected client calls during bath time etc. We could have both pulled way back to 40hr per week jobs but then our combined income would probably be about 1/4 of what he makes on his own in a high travel / longer hours job. That actually would have been fine with me but it wasn't with him.

So we now have what looks like a very traditional marriage. His star has risen and mine is in the shitter. I've worked in various roles but no ones is giving the important exciting work to the person that has to be out the door at a certain time no matter what or has to cover all sick days no matter how important a meeting is. I likely have more downtime than him but I also haven't had an uninterrupted nights sleep in 7 years, am always up with a kid by 5:45am, always covering bedtime no matter how run down or sick i may be etc. Even if you outsource cleaning and some child care, the physical toll of the little kid years is real.

He would not be able to have his career and 3 children if it wasn't for me and what I cover. If we got divorced, he'd have to decide to only have a tiny percent of custody to accommodate his unpredictable schedule or to pull waaaay back professionally to meet the needs of his kids.

I'm not asking for sympathy - we are obviously lucky. But I don't understand at all why i wouldn't deserve 50% of our families assets when we worked and made decisions as a team to acquire them and each took the lumps along with it (for me trashing my career that could have equaled his and for him seeing his kids less than if i'd been the one to keep the career while he pulled back). Would he only deserve 5% of custody since that's his relative contribution to the work of taking care of our kids? We each keep the assets we personally built - money for him and children for me?

It's something that can be negotiated.

I know too many country club women that just play tennis and shop. They never had much in terms of earning potential. So I don't see them as deserving even close to half.

1/2 is the default, a prenup gets around that.

DP. They too deserve half because their husbands valued beauty over everything else. Otherwise, these men would have found women of the PP's caliber. I guess they were looking for someone cheaper in case things go south.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

What about when women marry a rich guy? Arguably, they do far less than if they married a middle class guy--cleaning, much of childcare etc is outsourced. So they do less but get way more--live in a nicer place, better lifestyle for themselves and their off spring.

Sorry, I don't believe Mrs. Bezos deserved even 1% of Jeff's wealth.

So my husband and my's situation is fairly common. we met both working at the same demanding firm in the same role with backgrounds from the same business school and comparable college. So fairly safe to assume we had the same potential. Decided to have kids - for one we juggled a lot and managed, by the time we had #2, something had to give and it was my career. We couldn't raise our children well (to us) and have us both be on the road a lot, both missing dinners regularly, both needing to jump on unexpected client calls during bath time etc. We could have both pulled way back to 40hr per week jobs but then our combined income would probably be about 1/4 of what he makes on his own in a high travel / longer hours job. That actually would have been fine with me but it wasn't with him.

So we now have what looks like a very traditional marriage. His star has risen and mine is in the shitter. I've worked in various roles but no ones is giving the important exciting work to the person that has to be out the door at a certain time no matter what or has to cover all sick days no matter how important a meeting is. I likely have more downtime than him but I also haven't had an uninterrupted nights sleep in 7 years, am always up with a kid by 5:45am, always covering bedtime no matter how run down or sick i may be etc. Even if you outsource cleaning and some child care, the physical toll of the little kid years is real.

He would not be able to have his career and 3 children if it wasn't for me and what I cover. If we got divorced, he'd have to decide to only have a tiny percent of custody to accommodate his unpredictable schedule or to pull waaaay back professionally to meet the needs of his kids.

I'm not asking for sympathy - we are obviously lucky. But I don't understand at all why i wouldn't deserve 50% of our families assets when we worked and made decisions as a team to acquire them and each took the lumps along with it (for me trashing my career that could have equaled his and for him seeing his kids less than if i'd been the one to keep the career while he pulled back). Would he only deserve 5% of custody since that's his relative contribution to the work of taking care of our kids? We each keep the assets we personally built - money for him and children for me?

It's something that can be negotiated.

I know too many country club women that just play tennis and shop. They never had much in terms of earning potential. So I don't see them as deserving even close to half.

1/2 is the default, a prenup gets around that.

DP. They too deserve half because their husbands valued beauty over everything else. Otherwise, these men would have found women of the PP's caliber. I guess they were looking for someone cheaper in case things go south.

Exactly. Beauty if fleeting. Best to invest in more than just that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You sound delightful. I would LOVE to hear the shrew's side of why she "retired" and why you two got divorced.

You give this advice to your son, who the shrew gestated for you? Your son who what, you wish you never had? Is he the "millstone" you refer to?

BTW This is the same advice I give my daughters. A man is just one more baby you have to take care of.

+1 I'd be surprised if his DS doesn't have relationship issues and the inability to have a deep relationship with a woman. How sad.

My sister married a deadbeat. They got divorced. She never bad mouthed the deadbeat dad to her son. She never wanted her son to feel terrible about his own father.

That ^PP father is horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

What about when women marry a rich guy? Arguably, they do far less than if they married a middle class guy--cleaning, much of childcare etc is outsourced. So they do less but get way more--live in a nicer place, better lifestyle for themselves and their off spring.

Sorry, I don't believe Mrs. Bezos deserved even 1% of Jeff's wealth.

So my husband and my's situation is fairly common. we met both working at the same demanding firm in the same role with backgrounds from the same business school and comparable college. So fairly safe to assume we had the same potential. Decided to have kids - for one we juggled a lot and managed, by the time we had #2, something had to give and it was my career. We couldn't raise our children well (to us) and have us both be on the road a lot, both missing dinners regularly, both needing to jump on unexpected client calls during bath time etc. We could have both pulled way back to 40hr per week jobs but then our combined income would probably be about 1/4 of what he makes on his own in a high travel / longer hours job. That actually would have been fine with me but it wasn't with him.

So we now have what looks like a very traditional marriage. His star has risen and mine is in the shitter. I've worked in various roles but no ones is giving the important exciting work to the person that has to be out the door at a certain time no matter what or has to cover all sick days no matter how important a meeting is. I likely have more downtime than him but I also haven't had an uninterrupted nights sleep in 7 years, am always up with a kid by 5:45am, always covering bedtime no matter how run down or sick i may be etc. Even if you outsource cleaning and some child care, the physical toll of the little kid years is real.

He would not be able to have his career and 3 children if it wasn't for me and what I cover. If we got divorced, he'd have to decide to only have a tiny percent of custody to accommodate his unpredictable schedule or to pull waaaay back professionally to meet the needs of his kids.

I'm not asking for sympathy - we are obviously lucky. But I don't understand at all why i wouldn't deserve 50% of our families assets when we worked and made decisions as a team to acquire them and each took the lumps along with it (for me trashing my career that could have equaled his and for him seeing his kids less than if i'd been the one to keep the career while he pulled back). Would he only deserve 5% of custody since that's his relative contribution to the work of taking care of our kids? We each keep the assets we personally built - money for him and children for me?

It's something that can be negotiated.

I know too many country club women that just play tennis and shop. They never had much in terms of earning potential. So I don't see them as deserving even close to half.

1/2 is the default, a prenup gets around that.

Pp here - I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how I looked from the outside once my kids are in school. If I’m still covering every domestic need, it’s not like i can jump back into a demanding career and even if I could they wouldn’t have me back after 10 years out. So I’ll have free time from like 9-2:30 to keep my schedule to meet family needs. Should I fill it with some very flexible job that isn’t interesting, is way below more skill set, and only pays $70k a year which we don’t need? Just so il working in the same fashion as dh? I didn’t want to have to tank my career but one of us had to to be good parents. Neither of us could have the family we have without both our work. Does the dh you’re talking about not also get a huge benefit of getting kids and a family life while getting to also maintain the career they want which would likely be impossible without their spouse? Is there a price tag on that as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You sound delightful. I would LOVE to hear the shrew's side of why she "retired" and why you two got divorced.

You give this advice to your son, who the shrew gestated for you? Your son who what, you wish you never had? Is he the "millstone" you refer to?

BTW This is the same advice I give my daughters. A man is just one more baby you have to take care of.

+1 I'd be surprised if his DS doesn't have relationship issues and the inability to have a deep relationship with a woman. How sad.

My sister married a deadbeat. They got divorced. She never bad mouthed the deadbeat dad to her son. She never wanted her son to feel terrible about his own father.

That ^PP father is horrible.

This response right here is more evidence for why OP should not get married! When you engage with women you are always wrong. More so when you are in family court. Notice, OP, how they manufacture evidence to support their own narrative?

My ex-wife used to blame me for the weather, and we see the exact same behavior with the PPs.

i never badmouthed my ex to my kids, but she certainly badmouthed me. When I got divorced I had a list of witnesses who had heard badmouthing spewed by her to my kids.

My ex-wife was a millstone long before we had children and my son knows what's what, and he watches red pill content. He will be fine as long as he never gets married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You almost had me until the oddly out of place fake names at the end.

You expect me to give their real names? Those are just the five friends at work who went through Divorce, Inc.

Go ask 100 men in their 50s what advice they would give to themselves when they were young men. 75 percent of them will say don't get married. The rest of them will say buy Apple stock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You sound delightful. I would LOVE to hear the shrew's side of why she "retired" and why you two got divorced.

You give this advice to your son, who the shrew gestated for you? Your son who what, you wish you never had? Is he the "millstone" you refer to?

BTW This is the same advice I give my daughters. A man is just one more baby you have to take care of.

+1 I'd be surprised if his DS doesn't have relationship issues and the inability to have a deep relationship with a woman. How sad.

My sister married a deadbeat. They got divorced. She never bad mouthed the deadbeat dad to her son. She never wanted her son to feel terrible about his own father.

That ^PP father is horrible.

This response right here is more evidence for why OP should not get married! When you engage with women you are always wrong. More so when you are in family court. Notice, OP, how they manufacture evidence to support their own narrative?

My ex-wife used to blame me for the weather, and we see the exact same behavior with the PPs.

i never badmouthed my ex to my kids, but she certainly badmouthed me. When I got divorced I had a list of witnesses who had heard badmouthing spewed by her to my kids.

My ex-wife was a millstone long before we had children and my son knows what's what, and he watches red pill content. He will be fine as long as he never gets married.

Great. Good to hear he will be supporting the country in a different way rather than marriage. As long as he isn't a criminal, I don't care. There are lots of other ways he can be productive in society. No one who is mature watches red pill content. No CEO of a corporation. Hopefully he can carry his own weight in the world on his own because red pill content is a recipe for being alone whether in the workplace or the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you deal with this? I would be the sole breadwinner too. She makes 1/10th my income and will probably become a SAHM. If we divorce I will be ruined financially.

We have zero issues in our relationship, I just tend to think of worst case scenarios.

the risk is real as you know.

you say there sre no issues in the relationship but have you tested her?. Women constantly test their prospective partners but men tend not too. How does she handle being denied what she want? What kind of comments does she make about others? Whats her friend group like - are they single/divorced, do they have good character, etc? Hoe does she handle you taking a leadership role in the relationship? Does she constantly post on social media for validation? Or insisting on going out to bars with the girls to get hit on. The list goes on. Be on the lookout for pettiness, vindictiveness, narcissistic behavior.

None of these are guarantees of course but you should never even consider marriage without testing your woman.

What kinds of tests do you do to your women, pp?

Dont just rely on the image presented when theres no stress or conflict.

That being said you dont have to create tests a lot of times, just be very observant at how she reacts in those moments of stress and conflict. In a simple example, how does she react when she doesnt get what she wants? is she vindictive or bratty - even in seemingly small way. Or how does she react when things dont work right? Does she take even a small amount of accountabiliy/responsibility for the outcome? How much of her self worth ot time is spent seeking validation from strangers or distant acquaintances? Watch them like a hawk in those moments. Because the stressors and conflicts in a marriage dwarf those in a regular relationship, and if shes petty, vindictive, narcissistic, or lacks accoutability when its easy, just imagine how it will be when things get hard.

in the event theres not enough stressors or conflicts in a relationshio over time create a few. Be a hardass or less accommodating in a few circumstances and see how it pans out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You sound delightful. I would LOVE to hear the shrew's side of why she "retired" and why you two got divorced.

You give this advice to your son, who the shrew gestated for you? Your son who what, you wish you never had? Is he the "millstone" you refer to?

BTW This is the same advice I give my daughters. A man is just one more baby you have to take care of.

+1 I'd be surprised if his DS doesn't have relationship issues and the inability to have a deep relationship with a woman. How sad.

My sister married a deadbeat. They got divorced. She never bad mouthed the deadbeat dad to her son. She never wanted her son to feel terrible about his own father.

That ^PP father is horrible.

This response right here is more evidence for why OP should not get married! When you engage with women you are always wrong. More so when you are in family court. Notice, OP, how they manufacture evidence to support their own narrative?

My ex-wife used to blame me for the weather, and we see the exact same behavior with the PPs.

i never badmouthed my ex to my kids, but she certainly badmouthed me. When I got divorced I had a list of witnesses who had heard badmouthing spewed by her to my kids.

My ex-wife was a millstone long before we had children and my son knows what's what, and he watches red pill content. He will be fine as long as he never gets married.

And you are evidence of a typical man in denial. The horrible father PP is talking about called the mother of his child a "shrew" and referred to a "millstone around his neck" and that he advises his son never to get married. Don't pretend other PP manufactured evidence, he typed it himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always find the research fascinating that a woman with children's domestic work goes UP when there is also an adult male living in the house. Women get no credit for not only managing the house and home but also literally end up taking care of the other adult. And then people on here balk when that's too much and they're not able to hold a great job down too.

Do you know what makes it feasible for women to hold a great job? Men who take on 50% of the domestic responsibilities instead of somehow ADDING TO THEM. it blows my mind the shit deal women are dealt

What about when women marry a rich guy? Arguably, they do far less than if they married a middle class guy--cleaning, much of childcare etc is outsourced. So they do less but get way more--live in a nicer place, better lifestyle for themselves and their off spring.

Sorry, I don't believe Mrs. Bezos deserved even 1% of Jeff's wealth.

So my husband and my's situation is fairly common. we met both working at the same demanding firm in the same role with backgrounds from the same business school and comparable college. So fairly safe to assume we had the same potential. Decided to have kids - for one we juggled a lot and managed, by the time we had #2, something had to give and it was my career. We couldn't raise our children well (to us) and have us both be on the road a lot, both missing dinners regularly, both needing to jump on unexpected client calls during bath time etc. We could have both pulled way back to 40hr per week jobs but then our combined income would probably be about 1/4 of what he makes on his own in a high travel / longer hours job. That actually would have been fine with me but it wasn't with him.

So we now have what looks like a very traditional marriage. His star has risen and mine is in the shitter. I've worked in various roles but no ones is giving the important exciting work to the person that has to be out the door at a certain time no matter what or has to cover all sick days no matter how important a meeting is. I likely have more downtime than him but I also haven't had an uninterrupted nights sleep in 7 years, am always up with a kid by 5:45am, always covering bedtime no matter how run down or sick i may be etc. Even if you outsource cleaning and some child care, the physical toll of the little kid years is real.

He would not be able to have his career and 3 children if it wasn't for me and what I cover. If we got divorced, he'd have to decide to only have a tiny percent of custody to accommodate his unpredictable schedule or to pull waaaay back professionally to meet the needs of his kids.

I'm not asking for sympathy - we are obviously lucky. But I don't understand at all why i wouldn't deserve 50% of our families assets when we worked and made decisions as a team to acquire them and each took the lumps along with it (for me trashing my career that could have equaled his and for him seeing his kids less than if i'd been the one to keep the career while he pulled back). Would he only deserve 5% of custody since that's his relative contribution to the work of taking care of our kids? We each keep the assets we personally built - money for him and children for me?

It's something that can be negotiated.

I know too many country club women that just play tennis and shop. They never had much in terms of earning potential. So I don't see them as deserving even close to half.

1/2 is the default, a prenup gets around that.

Pp here - I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how I looked from the outside once my kids are in school. If I’m still covering every domestic need, it’s not like i can jump back into a demanding career and even if I could they wouldn’t have me back after 10 years out. So I’ll have free time from like 9-2:30 to keep my schedule to meet family needs. Should I fill it with some very flexible job that isn’t interesting, is way below more skill set, and only pays $70k a year which we don’t need? Just so il working in the same fashion as dh? I didn’t want to have to tank my career but one of us had to to be good parents. Neither of us could have the family we have without both our work. Does the dh you’re talking about not also get a huge benefit of getting kids and a family life while getting to also maintain the career they want which would likely be impossible without their spouse? Is there a price tag on that as well?

Of course they get a huge benefit, that's why they MARRY. Wealthy men don't have to marry, and yet they do in droves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: the advice I give to my son and all other young men is do not get married. You lose most of your human rights when you marry. Women often retire as soon as they are married. I married a PhD. She had the ability to make more money than me. Instead she retired at age 27, 10 years before our first child was born. When we got divorced over 20 years later, guess which hard working spouse forked out huge amounts of money to a lazy shrew? A woman who loves you will contribute as much or more than you do to the marriage, but most women don't, evidence that they just don't love their husbands very much.

Whoever has the least to lose in a relationship is in control. That will be your wife. OP, you have the right to not live as a slave, and to not fear being made into a slave. If you stay single, you can get married anytime you like between now and when you die. Men don't have an expiration date. I'm in my late 50s and dating hotter women that I had access to when I was in my 20s. I'm sorry I've worked until now. I should have stayed single, and retired at 40. All easily done without a wife/millstone.

If you don't believe me, just read a few pages of the relationship forum here. You'll see much of the conversation is about how to bag a wealthy husband, how to keep a husband from having any fun, and how to extract as much money as possible from the husband at divorce time.

If you think my experience is unique, I can tell you that my friends Carl and Jose and Mike and Sven and Marc all had the exact same experience in their 40s or 50s.

You almost had me until the oddly out of place fake names at the end.

You expect me to give their real names? Those are just the five friends at work who went through Divorce, Inc.

Go ask 100 men in their 50s what advice they would give to themselves when they were young men. 75 percent of them will say don't get married. The rest of them will say buy Apple stock.

Expect we have data, so we don't have to rely on your biased anecdote. Overwhelming majority of men who divorce or are widowed REMARRY. And usually very quickly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you deal with this? I would be the sole breadwinner too. She makes 1/10th my income and will probably become a SAHM. If we divorce I will be ruined financially.

We have zero issues in our relationship, I just tend to think of worst case scenarios.

If the above is how you value people and relationships (as fiscal transactions), you should NOT get married nor have kids. Ever.