Scared of getting married because of divorce horror stories

[Anonymous]

Then you are marrying the wrong person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

[Anonymous]

Just read the empowered wife. You'll be fine

[Anonymous]

My sons will be told to marry a girl with her own income.

Just like my parents told me to always be able to support myself (keep a foot in the workplace) because you never know what will happen in life.

Get an ironclad pre-nup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

No snark meant, but how is that even a marriage? What’s the point? You’re “marrying” someone you obviously don’t trust and you remove all downsides of keeping a commitments through a side letter to a marriage contract. Why even bother?

For the OP, if you tend to focus on the worst possible outcome generally in life, you would do well to spend some time with a (good!) therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

It sounds like you don't do much of anything either if you have an army of nannies in the house so it's silly to brag what you do as you really don't do anything. That's truly sad for the kids. You could have given her the money you pay for the nannies to take care of the kids. And, if you don't work, why do you need an army of nannies? You shouldn't need any, expect maybe a babysitter occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

So you were looking for an egg donor, a surrogate and a sex partner in one. Why would you settle for the dumbest woman? Who would agree to this arrangement if not a stupid person?

There are plenty of hot intelligent women ( and I am not talking about book smarts) out there. Why would you intentionally procreate with a stupid person? What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

No snark meant, but how is that even a marriage? What’s the point? You’re “marrying” someone you obviously don’t trust and you remove all downsides of keeping a commitments through a side letter to a marriage contract. Why even bother?

For the OP, if you tend to focus on the worst possible outcome generally in life, you would do well to spend some time with a (good!) therapist.

Prenups are common among high net worth people. You can define marriage the way you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

So you were looking for an egg donor, a surrogate and a sex partner in one. Why would you settle for the dumbest woman? Who would agree to this arrangement if not a stupid person?

There are plenty of hot intelligent women ( and I am not talking about book smarts) out there. Why would you intentionally procreate with a stupid person? What is wrong with you?

I’m not smart either, just good at business.

[Anonymous]

Op, I don’t see this as thinking of the worse case scenario. I wish I would have asked these questions before and during my marriage. I would have insisted on my ex having a career.

I agree with others about the prenup. If prenup is a no go, then at a minimum I’d ask her to keep a foot or two in the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I don’t see this as thinking of the worse case scenario. I wish I would have asked these questions before and during my marriage. I would have insisted on my ex having a career.

I agree with others about the prenup. If prenup is a no go, then at a minimum I’d ask her to keep a foot or two in the workplace.

And this answers the never ending discussion on dcurm whether woman’s earning potential matters for men. Of course if does, or expect always arguing over money or sign a prenup. Even if you are a hottie!

[Anonymous]

Income isn't the only financial flag, debt, credit, savings, assets, liabilities etc all count. Get an iron clad prenup and secure your existing assets in a trust.

This much financial inequity isn't a balanced partnership. Unless you two have been together for 5+ years and you know her REALLY well, its extremely risky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

So you were looking for an egg donor, a surrogate and a sex partner in one. Why would you settle for the dumbest woman? Who would agree to this arrangement if not a stupid person?

There are plenty of hot intelligent women ( and I am not talking about book smarts) out there. Why would you intentionally procreate with a stupid person? What is wrong with you?

It's crucial to have book smart if you want kids to do well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

So PP, aren't you curious about why your wife would sign a prenuptial leaving her with no alimony after spending her best years providing childcare and household chores for your children while you work?

She did almost no household chores...we had an army of nannies doing everything in the house from day one.

Much of the childcare has been provided by the nanny. I do more parenting than she does. as I have not had to work in many years due to my favorable financial situation.

I was always upfront that I would never get married unless there was an alimony waiver in the prenup. If you don't like it marry someone else.

No snark meant, but how is that even a marriage? What’s the point? You’re “marrying” someone you obviously don’t trust and you remove all downsides of keeping a commitments through a side letter to a marriage contract. Why even bother?

For the OP, if you tend to focus on the worst possible outcome generally in life, you would do well to spend some time with a (good!) therapist.

Prenups are common among high net worth people. You can define marriage the way you want.

Wealthy people do not become financially destitute after a failed marriage. They just want to keep their money. Nothing wrong with that, but this does not seem to be OP's case.

And most prenups include some alimony if the financial difference between the couple is wide ( OP is okay with wife being SAHM so it would be large). You should be ready to provide some alimony or not plan on your wife staying home which is what OP is doing. It does not sound like he is rich enough to provide alimony if she stays home. So he should spell that out in no uncertain terms. She needs to get a career ASAP.