How to talk to 14yo about waiting to have sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I plan to tell my DD that young sex is mostly what poor girls do, or girls without fathers, and she is too classy for that and needs to conduct herself in a way that she will not be embarrassed for herself later on or look like trash to potential husbands. It's very low class. That's what I will include in my speech.

This is a really ugly way of approaching the world and also sends a really ugly message to your daughter.

But I get it, you don't see it that way- one of those educated classy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I plan to tell my DD that young sex is mostly what poor girls do, or girls without fathers, and she is too classy for that and needs to conduct herself in a way that she will not be embarrassed for herself later on or look like trash to potential husbands. It's very low class. That's what I will include in my speech.

Lordy. I work in a Title 1 high school and there were more girls at my private HS who got pregnant than at the school I work at.

THIS!

The girls my daughter knows that lost their virginity at 14 and have been with multiple partners all go to a private Catholic High School….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I plan to tell my DD that young sex is mostly what poor girls do, or girls without fathers, and she is too classy for that and needs to conduct herself in a way that she will not be embarrassed for herself later on or look like trash to potential husbands. It's very low class. That's what I will include in my speech.

Lordy. I work in a Title 1 high school and there were more girls at my private HS who got pregnant than at the school I work at.

THIS!

The girls my daughter knows that lost their virginity at 14 and have been with multiple partners all go to a private Catholic High School….

Ok and however many you think that is, multiple by 10 at low income public high school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t allow her to be alone with a boy unless she’s ready to raise a baby.

So your child never stays home? Your child doesn’t take the metro or bus? Will they get a job at 15?

Just so we’re clear.

[Anonymous]

Get your DD on birth control immediately.

[Anonymous]

I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

[Anonymous]

This is why 14 year olds shouldn’t have boyfriends or girlfriends. Just say no, Mom. No dating until 16 or even 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why 14 year olds shouldn’t have boyfriends or girlfriends. Just say no, Mom. No dating until 16 or even 18.

It’s cute that you think that would actually prevent them from dating. At least this way she is keeping the communication channels open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why 14 year olds shouldn’t have boyfriends or girlfriends. Just say no, Mom. No dating until 16 or even 18.

That’s somehow easier to stop? The fantasy world that some of y’all live in just astounds me. Sure, your daughter will tell you she’s not dating anyone and you can be extra surprised when she turns up pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why 14 year olds shouldn’t have boyfriends or girlfriends. Just say no, Mom. No dating until 16 or even 18.

I had my first job at 16 on weekends & during the summers, that I walked to. I didn’t date during that time but I easily and discreetly could have!

[Anonymous]

I tell my 14 year old son that if he is even dreaming of having sex that he must always wear a condom and that he must obtain full consent and even then if she changes her mind it’s game over. All of this BS about purity and tying their self worth and their image to when hey have sex is ludicrous. When the hormones are raging none of that stuff matters to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I plan to tell my DD that young sex is mostly what poor girls do, or girls without fathers, and she is too classy for that and needs to conduct herself in a way that she will not be embarrassed for herself later on or look like trash to potential husbands. It's very low class. That's what I will include in my speech.

And then she'll go to school and see that her well off classmates with loving fathers are having sex with their boyfriends or participating in random hook ups. Then she and her friends will have a laugh when she shares what you told her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I plan to tell my DD that young sex is mostly what poor girls do, or girls without fathers, and she is too classy for that and needs to conduct herself in a way that she will not be embarrassed for herself later on or look like trash to potential husbands. It's very low class. That's what I will include in my speech.

And then she'll go to school and see that her well off classmates with loving fathers are having sex with their boyfriends or participating in random hook ups. Then she and her friends will have a laugh when she shares what you told her.

Therefore her daughter should have sex because the other girls with loving fathers are and we don’t want her to get laughed at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a shocking amount of people on this thread advocating abstinence-only.

Yes, at 14 and 15, absolutely.

Absolutely right.