SIL won't allow nephew to propose to his GF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's 23! He could elope if he wanted to. Sounds like his mom is right about him.

His mom took separation very hard and he doesn't want her to feel to abandoned by him too.

[Anonymous]

Okay, so obviously you are the OP. Your explanations does not change the fact that you and your husband need to MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 23! He could elope if he wanted to. Sounds like his mom is right about him.

His mom took separation very hard and he doesn't want her to feel to abandoned by him too.

Are you just trying to force a way, OP?
Stop with all the reasoning and explanations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its a top 10 MBA, boy is a high achiever, so is his GF.

So high IQ low EQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 23! He could elope if he wanted to. Sounds like his mom is right about him.

His mom took separation very hard and he doesn't want her to feel to abandoned by him too.

This girlfriend should RUN if this is the issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 23! He could elope if he wanted to. Sounds like his mom is right about him.

His mom took separation very hard and he doesn't want her to feel to abandoned by him too.

This girlfriend should RUN if this is the issue

They both should, their brains are not fully developed till 25.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MYOB

If the kid is old enough to get married he is old enough to handle his own relationship with his mom.

A smart kid would wait until the MBA is paid for!

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 23 year old nephew (who is going to grad school in another state) wants to propose his college girlfriend but his mom won't allow him. He is devastated and asked us to convince her. His GF works online for an IT company and can move with him but obviously won't move unless there is a commitment. SIL is paying fir MBA (though nephew worked for one year and saved some money). Should we talk to his mother? My husband thinks his sister is being manipulative because she sees her adult children as children while they are smart adults and this way either she'll break their relationship or mess her relationship with the son. I would rather stay out of it but he wants both of us to go so i can be more like a mediator between them as she frustrates him. Her husband (long time separated) supports his son but sees no harm in waiting if mom is insisting.

I don't think there's anything wrong with family providing advice, even if unsolicited at times. Sometimes it's good to have outside counsel step in and advise. Family members can be in a position to do this because they know the parties and are interested in the well-being of the parties. Be polite about it and present it as an alternative perspective.

That said, I'm not sure your SIL is in the wrong here. I paid for my own graduate education, and if your nephew wants to do what he wants he should figure out how to pay for it himself. MBAs usually lead to well paying jobs so he should be able to borrow if necessary. Or he should consider waiting to get married as 23 and just starting grad school is kind of young to get married. When I was in grad school there' were lots of ambitious, attractive, intelligent women in MBA school. He doesn't have to spend a lot of money on dates because he's in grad school. Women at the school and surrounding university won't be as guarded about him because he's in school with him. He'll probably never have as good dating options again in life. I'd keep my options open if I were him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 23! He could elope if he wanted to. Sounds like his mom is right about him.

His mom took separation very hard and he doesn't want her to feel to abandoned by him too.

Are you just trying to force a way, OP?
Stop with all the reasoning and explanations.

Just sharing arguments my husband made when we discussed it. He doesn't want tosee a rift between his sis and nephew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 23! He could elope if he wanted to. Sounds like his mom is right about him.

His mom took separation very hard and he doesn't want her to feel to abandoned by him too.

Are you just trying to force a way, OP?
Stop with all the reasoning and explanations.

Just sharing arguments my husband made when we discussed it. He doesn't want tosee a rift between his sis and nephew.

Move on and both of you mind your own damn business.

[Anonymous]

Which top 10 MBA routinely admits 23 year olds? Is this a program where you defer acceptance 2 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No marriage or babies before 30.

They are both ambitious and have no plans to marry or procreate for 5 years. If it weren't for moving to another state and then may be again for new job, they would've waited until he did his MBA and she did her MS.

Then why the rush to get engaged?

Out of state move and likely another move in two years.

Are both partners on board with this? An engagement is legally worthless.

Also, a cold truth: any MBA that accepts 23 year olds with 1 year of work experience at most isn’t worth attending. If it’s for CPA credits, those can be achieved in a different way, and you shouldn’t waste your one chance to an MBA on that when you might want to do one in 5 years.

I know 23 year old who went to great schools for MBAs that young. It's common for SLAC grads

A “Masters in Management” isn’t an MBA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's 23! He could elope if he wanted to. Sounds like his mom is right about him.

His mom took separation very hard and he doesn't want her to feel to abandoned by him too.

Are you just trying to force a way, OP?
Stop with all the reasoning and explanations.

Just sharing arguments my husband made when we discussed it. He doesn't want tosee a rift between his sis and nephew.

Seemingly, your husband would be the cause of a rift. Stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

What's the point of getting engaged if they are not going to get married anytime soon anyways? I think it's stilly to insist on engagement. It really doesn't mean anything. They can live together for a couple of years and see if that's what they want for the rest of their lives, ring or no ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point of getting engaged if they are not going to get married anytime soon anyways? I think it's stilly to insist on engagement. It really doesn't mean anything. They can live together for a couple of years and see if that's what they want for the rest of their lives, ring or no ring.

BF wants to string GF along to move with him.