SIL won't allow nephew to propose to his GF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, geez, for such “smart” people everyone (except the gf) sounds ridiculously immature. If nephew is so talented and ambitious and in such a great MBA program, then he can borrow the money and pay for it himself. He sounds like NOT a good catch if he can’t navigate this minor issue directly with his mom. The GF should NOT move with him and focus on her career until he grows up.

This is such a middle class attitude. Y’all hold yourselves back.

Is it upper class to let your parents control you with money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Way too young to get married.

+10000 Op you need to stay out of this. This isn't anyone else's business. Do people not understand boundaries?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, geez, for such “smart” people everyone (except the gf) sounds ridiculously immature. If nephew is so talented and ambitious and in such a great MBA program, then he can borrow the money and pay for it himself. He sounds like NOT a good catch if he can’t navigate this minor issue directly with his mom. The GF should NOT move with him and focus on her career until he grows up.

This is such a middle class attitude. Y’all hold yourselves back.

Is it upper class to let your parents control you with money?

The rugged, futile individualism is very middle class. Stop shooting yourselves in the feet.

[Anonymous]

He can get engaged but not marry until he finishes school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can get engaged but not marry until he finishes school.

I do think people should listen to the advice their parents offer, especially if the child is requesting the advice, but you can’t “prevent” someone over 18 from marrying. He *can* marry tomorrow if he wants to. Whether he actually should, perhaps not.

[Anonymous]

Any sensible parent would give her advice and then hold her peace, not manipulate with threats.

[Anonymous]

Most parents don't set up a good example by their own marriage but feel competent for dishing out marriage advice.

[Anonymous]

1. Not your business
2. If he really wanted to propose, he would.
3. If he was an adult he’d tell his mom kindly and with love that it was none of her business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Way too young to get married.

That's not true. I proposed at 23 and was married at 24. I was financially independent of my parents, though. This kid needs to learn the lesson about how some parents will try to use money as a form of control.

DW and I are still going strong 20 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No marriage or babies before 30.

They are both ambitious and have no plans to marry or procreate for 5 years. If it weren't for moving to another state and then may be again for new job, they would've waited until he did his MBA and she did her MS.

Then why the rush to get engaged?

Exactly! I think the mom is being practical and the girlfriend is being manipulative. Ultimatums at 23? That poor boy needs to run!

There is no ultimatum but she is reluctant to move. Who can blame her?

+1
Boy is not independent. Girl is not stupid. Boy needs sex. Girl needs ring. Tale as old as time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No marriage or babies before 30.

Ridiculous.

Okay, Duggar.

Sure, everyone who married or had a kid in their twenties has twenty.

Having twenty or not is irrelevant. It’s simply too young, but you are too obtuse to comprehend that.

I’m very happy with the choices I made, including marrying and starting our family in my 20s.

No, thank you and don’t give that antedote as advice please.

What's an antedote? LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Way too young to get married.

That's not true. I proposed at 23 and was married at 24. I was financially independent of my parents, though. This kid needs to learn the lesson about how some parents will try to use money as a form of control.

DW and I are still going strong 20 years later.

You were financially independent of your parents, this guy is not. He should finish his MBA, get a job and then have a simple wedding. His dick will not fall off if he is not married during his MBA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 23 year old nephew (who is going to grad school in another state) wants to propose his college girlfriend but his mom won't allow him. He is devastated and asked us to convince her. His GF works online for an IT company and can move with him but obviously won't move unless there is a commitment. SIL is paying fir MBA (though nephew worked for one year and saved some money). Should we talk to his mother? My husband thinks his sister is being manipulative because she sees her adult children as children while they are smart adults and this way either she'll break their relationship or mess her relationship with the son. I would rather stay out of it but he wants both of us to go so i can be more like a mediator between them as she frustrates him. Her husband (long time separated) supports his son but sees no harm in waiting if mom is insisting.

STAY OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is an adult he can speak for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any sensible parent would give her advice and then hold her peace, not manipulate with threats.

My DD is not moving in with BF, until they are married. There is nothing more that she needs to know about this guy that she does not already know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No marriage or babies before 30.

They are both ambitious and have no plans to marry or procreate for 5 years. If it weren't for moving to another state and then may be again for new job, they would've waited until he did his MBA and she did her MS.

Then why the rush to get engaged?

Exactly! I think the mom is being practical and the girlfriend is being manipulative. Ultimatums at 23? That poor boy needs to run!

There is no ultimatum but she is reluctant to move. Who can blame her?

Smart girl. I refused to move for my boyfriend at age 24, so he proposed. It’s been nearly 20 years and we are still happily married. No way I was leaving my job and city without a ring.

+1. It’s really not a lot to ask. But if the boy has mommy paying for mba, who’s buying the ring?

Who is buying the ring? Is the girlfriend expecting a nice engagement ring? If he can't afford it without his mother's help, he shouldn't propose.