Dad brings a guest with him, my half-sister... to stay with us for three weeks...

[Anonymous]

I think you can be inclusive without being in "host mode". To me, visiting family means you get the family experience-- the mess, the noise, the chicken nuggets, everything. You can be warm and caring to her without feeling like you have to treat her as a non-family guest, you know? And that also means asking her to help with chores. It's okay for her to learn the life lesson about overstaying your welcome, that showing up as an uninvited guest produces awkwardness and stresses out your host.

I would get your father alone and ask him very seriously when she will be leaving. Tell him that you cannot host two people for longer than X date. Yes it's awkward and feels rude, but really he's the rude one for springing this on you. He probably didn't ask for the full duration because he was afraid you would say no.

[Anonymous]

I would not invite her to anything that's expensive or is a hassle for you to arrange. It will be good for her to learn that politeness has its limits when you show up uninvited.

OP, some of the hosting pressure is probably self-imposed. Really examine yourself to see what you're putting on yourself and what is other people's expectations. I understand you don't see your dad that often and you want this visit to go well, but he might care a lot less than you think about the niceties of hosting etiquette.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, PPs. Both of the above points are on point…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not have a TV in your room, and why do you keep referring to your sister as half sister? If you need to have a problem here, you should have one with your dad. Also, it needs to be said, you're an a**hole for not making more of an effort to get to know her. Enjoy those 3 weeks!

SERIOUSLY? OP is an a**hole? How about uninvited guests who don't have the guts to say how long they are staying? And yes, she is a half sister. They only share their father, their mothers are different. HALF.

OP is def a**hole. Jealous of her half sister

I won't call her an ahole but op is definitely jealous. Her posts come across as a toddler who now has to share mommy and daddy with the new baby. Which is what this boils down to. Much easier to project her angry feelings at her sister than deal with her father.

[Anonymous]

Can you buy an inflatable twin mattress to fit in the guest room? Dad gets the real bed, sis gets the inflatable, you get your living room back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not have a TV in your room, and why do you keep referring to your sister as half sister? If you need to have a problem here, you should have one with your dad. Also, it needs to be said, you're an a**hole for not making more of an effort to get to know her. Enjoy those 3 weeks!

Really? Only white trash have TV in their bedrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not have a TV in your room, and why do you keep referring to your sister as half sister? If you need to have a problem here, you should have one with your dad. Also, it needs to be said, you're an a**hole for not making more of an effort to get to know her. Enjoy those 3 weeks!

Really? Only white trash have TV in their bedrooms.

What do you call all the minority families with bedroom TVs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not have a TV in your room, and why do you keep referring to your sister as half sister? If you need to have a problem here, you should have one with your dad. Also, it needs to be said, you're an a**hole for not making more of an effort to get to know her. Enjoy those 3 weeks!

SERIOUSLY? OP is an a**hole? How about uninvited guests who don't have the guts to say how long they are staying? And yes, she is a half sister. They only share their father, their mothers are different. HALF.

OP is def a**hole. Jealous of her half sister

I won't call her an ahole but op is definitely jealous. Her posts come across as a toddler who now has to share mommy and daddy with the new baby. Which is what this boils down to. Much easier to project her angry feelings at her sister than deal with her father.

That is ridiculous. OP is put out by a surprise 3-week houseguest. It's stressful and rude no matter how you are related. I certainly wouldn't do that to my full bio sister, or to anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not have a TV in your room, and why do you keep referring to your sister as half sister? If you need to have a problem here, you should have one with your dad. Also, it needs to be said, you're an a**hole for not making more of an effort to get to know her. Enjoy those 3 weeks!

Why the hell should she have a TV in her bedroom? You cannot seriously not know what half-sister means. OP is a saint for not sending them both to a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Guest get 3 nights of being accommodated, tiptoed around, etc. After that, they're part of the household and get chores, noise, and an obligation to disclose their plans

[Anonymous]

Find a good therapist to help resolve your jealousy of your sister and your dad's relationship/closeness. It's obvious it really bothers you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a good therapist to help resolve your jealousy of your sister and your dad's relationship/closeness. It's obvious it really bothers you, OP.

Why pay for someone when she has you to diagnose her, ad nauseum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a good therapist to help resolve your jealousy of your sister and your dad's relationship/closeness. It's obvious it really bothers you, OP.

Why pay for someone when she has you to diagnose her, ad nauseum.

Even if OP is jealous, it is still rude to impose on people for three weeks, and it's especially rude when you didn't know that was going to happen or even if three weeks is actually the limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you not have a TV in your room, and why do you keep referring to your sister as half sister? If you need to have a problem here, you should have one with your dad. Also, it needs to be said, you're an a**hole for not making more of an effort to get to know her. Enjoy those 3 weeks!

Why would anyone keep a TV in their room? It is unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Given the distance between them (different continents) and roughly 2 decade age gap, OP and HS are basically strangers. Just because you have biological relatives doesn’t automatically make you family. My friend’s father moved to Asia and started a new family there. My friend now has a half-brother he’s not met who is 40 years younger than him and probably never will. The father-son relationship isn’t horrible but neither is able to travel. OPs situation sounds similar in that they are barely connected.