Female college student—my parents track me on Life360

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

Women are competent, capable adults. They can be independent and don't need parents or a husband tracking their moves and telling them where they can or can't go. Op needs to bran out to learn or she will end up an anxious, naive woman controlled by a man because she doesn't believe she as a woman can be independent. I grew up rurally too but then left in my 20s and travelled the world alone. I didn't need parents or a man to keep an eye on me or tell me what to do or help me navigate life.

Wtaf PP here and yes this! I grew up in a very rural area and didn't have a huge amount of "street smarts" when I started travelling on my own. Which I did starting at 18, in countries where I wasn't fluent in the language and didn't have a cell phone. I cannot believe people think that an 18yo in her home country with a cell phone is so horribly vulnerable she should never stir from her dorm without company or parental supervision.

And no, actually, the world was much less safe when we were travelling on our own. We just talked about it less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

To add to this, as someone who lives in a major city and sees tourists all the time, you would DEFINITELY stick out as one if you whip out a paper map.

+1
Right? May as well put a target on your back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

Women are competent, capable adults. They can be independent and don't need parents or a husband tracking their moves and telling them where they can or can't go. Op needs to bran out to learn or she will end up an anxious, naive woman controlled by a man because she doesn't believe she as a woman can be independent. I grew up rurally too but then left in my 20s and travelled the world alone. I didn't need parents or a man to keep an eye on me or tell me what to do or help me navigate life.

Wtaf PP here and yes this! I grew up in a very rural area and didn't have a huge amount of "street smarts" when I started travelling on my own. Which I did starting at 18, in countries where I wasn't fluent in the language and didn't have a cell phone. I cannot believe people think that an 18yo in her home country with a cell phone is so horribly vulnerable she should never stir from her dorm without company or parental supervision.

And no, actually, the world was much less safe when we were travelling on our own. We just talked about it less.

Nobody said that at all. It was said tracking and/or exploring with a friend is a good idea. Buying a burner phone and not letting your parents know where you are is a poor idea. No one said she should never leave her dorm room alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello.

I am currently a junior in college, and my parents, whom I love and respect, tend to be a bit controlling. I am from a rural area and attend college in a suburb of a major city. I would consider myself to be very well-behaved and have a good relationship with them. I pay half of my schooling costs, and they pay the other half. However, as of late, we’ve had two points of contention. The one is that they track me on my Life360 phone app. I do not have a car with me at college so this isn’t for driving. They believe that I, a petite young woman, is likely to get abducted and consistently tell me that. I repeatedly tell them that I never walk around outside or on public transportation with headphones in, stay in areas known to be safe, vary my routes, frequently busy areas, walk rather than bike or drive, never go out alone after dark, etc.

This leads into the second issue, which is that I like to do what I call “explore” in my free time. This doesn’t happen that often. But, in the day, I like to go to a random college town, say, 45 minutes away via train and just walk around on a Sunday. I do this and any other exploring alone. Again, I stay on main streets that are well-lit, and do so in the day. I would also like to visit the major city my college is located near (think NYC or San Francisco), yes, alone, but my parents tell me that they forbid me from doing so. I really want to.

WWYD?

They can't control you. But to keep peace, why don't you find a friend that will explore with you. That should not be too hard.

Tell them (don't ask them) that you are going and will let them know when you get back safely.

They have to learn to let go and you have to learn you have more say than you used to.

The app is not the problem. Their wish to still control everything you do, is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

Women are competent, capable adults. They can be independent and don't need parents or a husband tracking their moves and telling them where they can or can't go. Op needs to bran out to learn or she will end up an anxious, naive woman controlled by a man because she doesn't believe she as a woman can be independent. I grew up rurally too but then left in my 20s and travelled the world alone. I didn't need parents or a man to keep an eye on me or tell me what to do or help me navigate life.

Wtaf PP here and yes this! I grew up in a very rural area and didn't have a huge amount of "street smarts" when I started travelling on my own. Which I did starting at 18, in countries where I wasn't fluent in the language and didn't have a cell phone. I cannot believe people think that an 18yo in her home country with a cell phone is so horribly vulnerable she should never stir from her dorm without company or parental supervision.

And no, actually, the world was much less safe when we were travelling on our own. We just talked about it less.

Nobody said that at all. It was said tracking and/or exploring with a friend is a good idea. Buying a burner phone and not letting your parents know where you are is a poor idea. No one said she should never leave her dorm room alone.

Buying a burner phone and having independence as an adult is a great idea. No one needs to be tracked. That is incredibly unhealthy and controlling.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your parents forbid you from exploring with your phone.

Proceed accordingly.

[Anonymous]

OP, your parents are being TOTALLY unreasonable.

But you are almost at the end of the tunnel. When do they make your last tuition payment - Dec 2023? Or do they pay in monthly installments?

Anyway, AT MOST you have fifteen months where you need to put up with this. I'd be inclined to keep your head down and then get a new phone plan as soon as their final tuition payment is made. Or if you can get a new phone plan now without them stopping tuition payments, do so now.

I don't know anything about burner phones but if getting a cheap one to use when you are out and about would work, do that.

Sorry you are dealing with this, but this will pass, as long as you get a good job after college and become completely financially independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you go into the major city with a friend? It'll be much more fun anyway. I understand wanting time by yourself, but maybe save that for more local adventures.

Look, the reality is, while you are dependent on your parents money or home or health insurance/phone plan, you ARE under their control. You want to be free of their control? Then suck it up and wait a year and a half until you're finished with college, move out, get a job and support yourself.

OP here. I just have acquaintances and they’re not interested in this.

This stuck out to me. You're a junior in college but do not have any friends. I hate saying this, but the idea of troll did slip through my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

Women are competent, capable adults. They can be independent and don't need parents or a husband tracking their moves and telling them where they can or can't go. Op needs to bran out to learn or she will end up an anxious, naive woman controlled by a man because she doesn't believe she as a woman can be independent. I grew up rurally too but then left in my 20s and travelled the world alone. I didn't need parents or a man to keep an eye on me or tell me what to do or help me navigate life.

Wtaf PP here and yes this! I grew up in a very rural area and didn't have a huge amount of "street smarts" when I started travelling on my own. Which I did starting at 18, in countries where I wasn't fluent in the language and didn't have a cell phone. I cannot believe people think that an 18yo in her home country with a cell phone is so horribly vulnerable she should never stir from her dorm without company or parental supervision.

And no, actually, the world was much less safe when we were travelling on our own. We just talked about it less.

Nobody said that at all. It was said tracking and/or exploring with a friend is a good idea. Buying a burner phone and not letting your parents know where you are is a poor idea. No one said she should never leave her dorm room alone.

Buying a burner phone and having independence as an adult is a great idea. No one needs to be tracked. That is incredibly unhealthy and controlling.

Until her parents find out (which they will). Seriously lying is never a good idea. It’s so disrespectful to someone paying your tuition.
Losing my relationship with my parents wouldn’t be worth it. If she feels this strongly then she should not accept their tuition money and assert her independence fully.

[Anonymous]

Gotta love a board presumably filled with parents encouraging a college aged child to get a burner phone. Hope karma bites you all in the ass. (I know, I know you are perfect and reasonable parents and this would never happen with your kid.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you go into the major city with a friend? It'll be much more fun anyway. I understand wanting time by yourself, but maybe save that for more local adventures.

Look, the reality is, while you are dependent on your parents money or home or health insurance/phone plan, you ARE under their control. You want to be free of their control? Then suck it up and wait a year and a half until you're finished with college, move out, get a job and support yourself.

OP here. I just have acquaintances and they’re not interested in this.

This stuck out to me. You're a junior in college but do not have any friends. I hate saying this, but the idea of troll did slip through my mind.

OP here. I swear I’m not a troll. I am closer with my HS friends than college. I am involved with club sports and other activities but have not found a lot of close friends. I am not sure what your question is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love a board presumably filled with parents encouraging a college aged child to get a burner phone. Hope karma bites you all in the ass. (I know, I know you are perfect and reasonable parents and this would never happen with your kid.)

What, exactly, is “happening”? Don’t be controlling, and your kid won’t go behind your back in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you go into the major city with a friend? It'll be much more fun anyway. I understand wanting time by yourself, but maybe save that for more local adventures.

Look, the reality is, while you are dependent on your parents money or home or health insurance/phone plan, you ARE under their control. You want to be free of their control? Then suck it up and wait a year and a half until you're finished with college, move out, get a job and support yourself.

OP here. I just have acquaintances and they’re not interested in this.

This stuck out to me. You're a junior in college but do not have any friends. I hate saying this, but the idea of troll did slip through my mind.

A lot of people struggle with making friends.

[Anonymous]

Is there any way that the OP can “see” how often her parents are tracking her? Once a day vs multiple times a day? And, can the parent’s see if the OP is on the library all evening vs the frat house drinking all night? The fact is just because Life360 indicates your phone is in your dorm/apt doesn’t mean you are SAFE. To me, this product gives a false sense of security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love a board presumably filled with parents encouraging a college aged child to get a burner phone. Hope karma bites you all in the ass. (I know, I know you are perfect and reasonable parents and this would never happen with your kid.)

She is an adult, not a child. Do your parents track you to know where you are at all times?