Female college student—my parents track me on Life360

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love a board presumably filled with parents encouraging a college aged child to get a burner phone. Hope karma bites you all in the ass. (I know, I know you are perfect and reasonable parents and this would never happen with your kid.)

She is an adult, not a child. Do your parents track you to know where you are at all times?

My parents don’t but my husband and adult children do. Our whole family is on Life 360. My college kids get alerts when I arrive home and I usually start getting FaceTimes when that happens. They also call and tell us to locate them on Life 360 because they are lost and need directions. They track me more than I track them TBH. Why the heck would I care that people who love me know my location? I’m not going anywhere I shouldn’t.
And she’s not fully independent yet. If she doesn’t want to follow their rules, then she should do what she needs to do become completely independent.

Neither is OP, but her parents don't seem to agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love a board presumably filled with parents encouraging a college aged child to get a burner phone. Hope karma bites you all in the ass. (I know, I know you are perfect and reasonable parents and this would never happen with your kid.)

She is an adult, not a child. Do your parents track you to know where you are at all times?

My parents don’t but my husband and adult children do. Our whole family is on Life 360. My college kids get alerts when I arrive home and I usually start getting FaceTimes when that happens. They also call and tell us to locate them on Life 360 because they are lost and need directions. They track me more than I track them TBH. Why the heck would I care that people who love me know my location? I’m not going anywhere I shouldn’t.
And she’s not fully independent yet. If she doesn’t want to follow their rules, then she should do what she needs to do become completely independent.

Neither is OP, but her parents don't seem to agree.

She's an adult at this point. I think her parents want to treat her like a child still. They want to control her behaviors from afar. It's really messed up and ultimately isn't good for her development into adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two issues -
First the parents are have too hard of a time letting go. My girls have tracking on their phones but I have never once looked at it. I trust them to be mature and wise in their decisions. In an emergency it's good to know it's there though.

Second, these parents may have some good insight in that perhaps you are not as street smart as you think you are. To visit an unfamiliar city alone is not showing great wisdom so maybe tracking seems like a good backup. Or learn to travel in a group and see if that helps their sense of security.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP parents do not want her to be raped, killed, trafficked.

Who was the LSU sorority sister who got drugged, gang raped, video recorded and left on the road at 3 am to be run over by a car?
Op, are you blond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love a board presumably filled with parents encouraging a college aged child to get a burner phone. Hope karma bites you all in the ass. (I know, I know you are perfect and reasonable parents and this would never happen with your kid.)

She is an adult, not a child. Do your parents track you to know where you are at all times?

My parents don’t but my husband and adult children do. Our whole family is on Life 360. My college kids get alerts when I arrive home and I usually start getting FaceTimes when that happens. They also call and tell us to locate them on Life 360 because they are lost and need directions. They track me more than I track them TBH. Why the heck would I care that people who love me know my location? I’m not going anywhere I shouldn’t.
And she’s not fully independent yet. If she doesn’t want to follow their rules, then she should do what she needs to do become completely independent.

Neither is OP, but her parents don't seem to agree.

She's an adult at this point. I think her parents want to treat her like a child still. They want to control her behaviors from afar. It's really messed up and ultimately isn't good for her development into adulthood.

Physically she is an adult but emotionally she seems to be a toddler. She is also seen as a commodity that can be used or sold by others. So sHe needs to be a party in her own safety. People find ways to be safe and travel the world all the time. Go and explore in large groups, carry air tags on your person, keep people informed about where you are, carry pepper spray…. Using a burner phone is not the way to go imho.

[Anonymous]

If you did get kidnapped, do your parents think the kidnapper will let you keep your phone? How in earth would a phone help in that incredibly unlikely scenario?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta love a board presumably filled with parents encouraging a college aged child to get a burner phone. Hope karma bites you all in the ass. (I know, I know you are perfect and reasonable parents and this would never happen with your kid.)

She is an adult, not a child. Do your parents track you to know where you are at all times?

My parents don’t but my husband and adult children do. Our whole family is on Life 360. My college kids get alerts when I arrive home and I usually start getting FaceTimes when that happens. They also call and tell us to locate them on Life 360 because they are lost and need directions. They track me more than I track them TBH. Why the heck would I care that people who love me know my location? I’m not going anywhere I shouldn’t.
And she’s not fully independent yet. If she doesn’t want to follow their rules, then she should do what she needs to do become completely independent.

Neither is OP, but her parents don't seem to agree.

She's an adult at this point. I think her parents want to treat her like a child still. They want to control her behaviors from afar. It's really messed up and ultimately isn't good for her development into adulthood.

Physically she is an adult but emotionally she seems to be a toddler. She is also seen as a commodity that can be used or sold by others. So sHe needs to be a party in her own safety. People find ways to be safe and travel the world all the time. Go and explore in large groups, carry air tags on your person, keep people informed about where you are, carry pepper spray…. Using a burner phone is not the way to go imho.

Jesus. Overbearing and infantilizing.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, OP, make sure you are financially independent of your parents when you graduate. Do not move home to save money. Do not have them fund additional education. If possible, give yourself some physical distance from them to establish boundaries. My husband’s dad was completely overbearing in a similar, paranoid way. While it came from a place of love, my husband found the relationship much easier to navigate when he was independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP parents do not want her to be raped, killed, trafficked.

Who was the LSU sorority sister who got drugged, gang raped, video recorded and left on the road at 3 am to be run over by a car?
Op, are you blond?

How would tracking have prevented that?

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with others and of the idea to get a burner. But - in that case, you still ought to tell someone where you are. Someone should know where you are and when you expect to be back. Doesn’t have to be your parents.

I had very controlling parents. I thank my lucky stars that it was pre-cell phone days and they couldn’t reach me all the time. If I were you, I would just do just enough to not make them angry, stop over sharing, and make sure you have a plan to be self sufficient after college.

Some parents treat their kids like children, and the oversharing gives them the impression that’s ok. I stopped asking my parents for advice, sharing until decisions had been made (eg, share after I got the new job, not when I got the interview). I’ve relaxed that, but it was needed in early adulthood to make it clear that I am a full adult and don’t need their guidance all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two issues -
First the parents are have too hard of a time letting go. My girls have tracking on their phones but I have never once looked at it. I trust them to be mature and wise in their decisions. In an emergency it's good to know it's there though.

Second, these parents may have some good insight in that perhaps you are not as street smart as you think you are. To visit an unfamiliar city alone is not showing great wisdom so maybe tracking seems like a good backup. Or learn to travel in a group and see if that helps their sense of security.

+1

Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP parents do not want her to be raped, killed, trafficked.

So if they aren't tracking her on Life360, that's going to happen. Are you joking. You are a bunch of nutjobs. You sound like the hysterical woman who posted here months ago furious that the police wouldn't do anything when your precious daughter thought some men of color were videoing her while she was at a coffee shop with friends. Trafficers are everywhere looking for their white blonde daughters!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they simply want to keep an eye on your whereabouts or are they actively forbidding you from going to places they feel are too “dangerous”?

As a parent w college age children, I do appreciate that from time to time I can see their whereabouts. Part of it is simply my missing them terribly. Another part is for me to be aware of unforeseen situations (DS went to NYC for the first time last year)l. I also appreciate that my kids are now adults who don’t need me to tell them what to do, where to go, etc. They do call to ask for advice and we share our locations with each other. So as long as your parents stay outside of boundaries you set, I don’t see an issue with them having your location. But if your daily movements are being restricted, then you should let them know that you won’t share your location any more.

Just curious, are you an Asian female? My niece is Japanese and the family doesn’t worry about her living in NYC alone.

OP here. I’m white.

The funding I’m referring to is about most of tuition (after scholarship), whereas I cover housing from working.

It concerns me that, aside from them telling me I “can’t” visit that city, when I tell them I went to the nearby college town (I have a bad habit of oversharing with them), they panic. That town is not unsafe by any definition. They tell me they look at Life360 often.

I"m sorry, OP. It sounds a bit much. I have Life360 on both of my DSs who are away at school. They also have mine, their father's, and so on. I almost never look at it nor do I tell them where to go, etc. So I don't think the Life360 in and of itself is bad, but the controlling aspect from your parents definitely is. Are you an only child? (I am, and my mother was rather controlling).

I normally would never advise someone to sneak around from their parents, but assuming that you have tried having a conversation about what you are doing and how it's fine, I would do as others suggest and get a separate phone. Leave the tracked one in your dorm.

You’re saying that her parents are “a bit much” when you have Life360 on your own college aged kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP parents do not want her to be raped, killed, trafficked.

People are way more likely to be harmed by someone they know than by a stranger. Google intimate partner violence stats, it's depressing.

[Anonymous]

Good lord. I used to wander (and travel even) solo all the time as a 21-26 year old before I ever owned a smart phone. I’m a pretty risk averse person but most of this would never have even crossed my mind to worry about. I used to spend weekend days in adjacent towns solo, then drive back before dark.

Op you will be fine. Go enjoy your day trips and just leave your phone in your dorm. You and I sound similar.

Also, when I got a job in Boston at 25 and didn’t know a soul, had basically never visited, I drove into town to look for apartments. I stopped at a gas station once I arrived and bought a street finder atlas, used it to navigate. You really can still do these things.