Female college student—my parents track me on Life360

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you go into the major city with a friend? It'll be much more fun anyway. I understand wanting time by yourself, but maybe save that for more local adventures.

Look, the reality is, while you are dependent on your parents money or home or health insurance/phone plan, you ARE under their control. You want to be free of their control? Then suck it up and wait a year and a half until you're finished with college, move out, get a job and support yourself.

OP here. I just have acquaintances and they’re not interested in this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Many women are not risk adverse at all. They travel the world, do adventure sports, and live their own lives. They do not need to live in a shadow of fear. Should they take basic precautions - as in don't get drunk at a bar by yourself in an unknown neighborhood and accept a ride home from a stranger - yes. Do they need to live as though danger is lurking around every corner - no.

[Anonymous]

If you went exploring and didn't tell them after, would they actually pull your funding when/if they noticed on Life360? If so, burner phone stat. Don't feel guilty; they are being unreasonable. If they'll bluster and threaten but not actually do anything, I wouldn't pay for the phone but I would also stop telling them about your adventures.

It sucks because it seems like you have a good relationship in general and actually want to share your joys with them and they're not appreciative of that at all. Good luck and sorry you're stuck in this situation. Do try to tell a friend where you're headed just in case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you go into the major city with a friend? It'll be much more fun anyway. I understand wanting time by yourself, but maybe save that for more local adventures.

Look, the reality is, while you are dependent on your parents money or home or health insurance/phone plan, you ARE under their control. You want to be free of their control? Then suck it up and wait a year and a half until you're finished with college, move out, get a job and support yourself.

OP here. I just have acquaintances and they’re not interested in this.

Get friends, OP. You need to put something out to a group "Hey, I'm going into San Francisco this weekend - hit me up if you want to come" and then see who replies. Don't just ask the three acquaintances you have. You need to take advantage of this time in your life - it will NEVER be easier to make friends than it is when you're in school.

[Anonymous]

Get a burner phone, leave the other one at home. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you go into the major city with a friend? It'll be much more fun anyway. I understand wanting time by yourself, but maybe save that for more local adventures.

Look, the reality is, while you are dependent on your parents money or home or health insurance/phone plan, you ARE under their control. You want to be free of their control? Then suck it up and wait a year and a half until you're finished with college, move out, get a job and support yourself.

OP here. I just have acquaintances and they’re not interested in this.

Get friends, OP. You need to put something out to a group "Hey, I'm going into San Francisco this weekend - hit me up if you want to come" and then see who replies. Don't just ask the three acquaintances you have. You need to take advantage of this time in your life - it will NEVER be easier to make friends than it is when you're in school.

OP here. I am aware that I need to work on that and definitely need to push on that. I am involved with club sports, work on campus and am in clubs but certainly need to be more proactive in friendships. My major is relatively challenging so I am in study groups for that but should attend those more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

Women are competent, capable adults. They can be independent and don't need parents or a husband tracking their moves and telling them where they can or can't go. Op needs to bran out to learn or she will end up an anxious, naive woman controlled by a man because she doesn't believe she as a woman can be independent. I grew up rurally too but then left in my 20s and travelled the world alone. I didn't need parents or a man to keep an eye on me or tell me what to do or help me navigate life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

OP is barely an adult.
Look, I backpacked in Europe back in the day too. I suggested letting my college aged girls do it on this forum and the majority of responses thought I was nuts. And I consider Europe much safer than the US. Times are different. It’s smart for everyone (male and female) to travel together in big cities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

Um, she literally said they have threatened to stop paying tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

Women are competent, capable adults. They can be independent and don't need parents or a husband tracking their moves and telling them where they can or can't go. Op needs to bran out to learn or she will end up an anxious, naive woman controlled by a man because she doesn't believe she as a woman can be independent. I grew up rurally too but then left in my 20s and travelled the world alone. I didn't need parents or a man to keep an eye on me or tell me what to do or help me navigate life.

Do you have any experience with college aged kids? There is no magic switch where they become “capable” at 18. It’s a process.
But keep patting yourself on the back that you did it 30 years ago in a completely different environment. Your parents probably would have tracked you on Life 360 except cell phones didn’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

OP is barely an adult.
Look, I backpacked in Europe back in the day too. I suggested letting my college aged girls do it on this forum and the majority of responses thought I was nuts. And I consider Europe much safer than the US. Times are different. It’s smart for everyone (male and female) to travel together in big cities.

You can think that. But it would be unreasonable to hold your child’s education hostage like OP’s parents are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

We’re all clearly biased by our own experiences. I grew up in a more rural area and while I thought I was being safe once I got into a bigger city, I was SO NAIVE. So dumbly trusting. If she doesn’t have city smarts, maybe that’s why her parents are concerned. I don’t know what area OP is talking about or if this applies to her, but it’s certainly better safe than sorry. Being tracked on Life 360 isn’t a big deal - my husband and I track each other - or exploring with a friend. She hasn’t said her parents throw down consequences or threaten to take away funds.

To add to this, as someone who lives in a major city and sees tourists all the time, you would DEFINITELY stick out as one if you whip out a paper map.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what area you live in?
The steps you take - vary route? - do give the sense that it’s not a safe area. And it’s reasonable to ask young females to explore with another person. I may be biased, but the number of adults here encouraging a burner phone boggles my mind.

Wtaf? Not-so-young female here who has been exploring on my own since I was a teen. Provided OP is being reasonably safe about things (sticking to well-travelled, not super high crime areas, daylight, not doing drugs in a strange place/with strangers, letting someone know generally what her plans are) which it sounds like she is, there is no reason for her to constantly need a chaperone, especially in a country she has lived in for presumably all or most of her life where she speaks the language. The fact that you think otherwise boggles my mind. OP is an adult herself; if she were a younger teen living at home, I might think she was perfectly safe but wouldn't encourage her to go against her parents so strongly.

OP is barely an adult.
Look, I backpacked in Europe back in the day too. I suggested letting my college aged girls do it on this forum and the majority of responses thought I was nuts. And I consider Europe much safer than the US. Times are different. It’s smart for everyone (male and female) to travel together in big cities.

You can think that. But it would be unreasonable to hold your child’s education hostage like OP’s parents are.

She’s gonna have to put on her big girl panties since she’s an adult now and decide if it’s worth it. Its her parents money and not your decision whether it’s reasonable. To suggest she be dishonest and get a burner phone and lie to her parents isnt a reasonable response IMO.