To tired of smug moms-of-3-under 35

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3+ kids is selfish and irresponsible. I wish society would stop glorifying it.

Because the 1 child policy in China worked so well.

Your mom thought so

[Anonymous]

I would be smug if I had an MD/PhD and a tenure track job at a well regarded academic institution-as well as 3 kids and a nice DH all before age 35. Just having the latter part doesn’t cut it for me!

[Anonymous]

Weird.

I had my 3rd at 37 but I have Botox and I'm super fit so you'd never know the difference and I assure you I'm in the weeds just trying to keep my head above water and my marriage in tact over here. I'm not smug. My fertility is a blessing, true. My husband wasn't wealthy but is a high earner. Also turned out to be narcissistic, particularly in ways that make it impossible to have a healthy relationship with him. And no, I didn't know. He's diabolical in his duplicity.

Idk. I haven't sat around worrying about people looking down on me since I was a young teen so I can't relate at all to your predicament.

[Anonymous]

Is OP the same poster who has started 15 threads about her husband not wanting to TTC until now at 35? Lady you have bigger issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be smug if I had an MD/PhD and a tenure track job at a well regarded academic institution-as well as 3 kids and a nice DH all before age 35. Just having the latter part doesn’t cut it for me!

+1 The first part plus one or two kids whenever is much more like it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird.

I had my 3rd at 37 but I have Botox and I'm super fit so you'd never know the difference and I assure you I'm in the weeds just trying to keep my head above water and my marriage in tact over here. I'm not smug. My fertility is a blessing, true. My husband wasn't wealthy but is a high earner. Also turned out to be narcissistic, particularly in ways that make it impossible to have a healthy relationship with him. And no, I didn't know. He's diabolical in his duplicity.

Idk. I haven't sat around worrying about people looking down on me since I was a young teen so I can't relate at all to your predicament.

Damn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d be sad if I had three children by 35. Way too many kids too fast for me. The point being—ignore it.

My mom had 5 kids by the time she was 32.

[Anonymous]

I know I personally only look down on the people here who are smug about having kids after 35, and degrade women who had them earlier.

[Anonymous]

Someone with 3 kids under 5 is too tired to think about you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this and don’t think I have ever been smug. You know who has been smug to me? Moms who had their kids and 39 and 41 - treating me like a teen mom even though I was a married homeowning lawyer before my first kid.

Point is: smug people are smug. Life choices don’t make them that way; they just are that way.

This. Truly the only smug moms I’ve ever met are older moms. Some seem to genuinely think you’re pathetic and have a worthless life if you have kids before 40, and maybe others are jealous or insecure. Who knows.

[Anonymous]

Gosh, that’s way too many kids and popped out in no time! Who wants that?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this and don’t think I have ever been smug. You know who has been smug to me? Moms who had their kids and 39 and 41 - treating me like a teen mom even though I was a married homeowning lawyer before my first kid.

Point is: smug people are smug. Life choices don’t make them that way; they just are that way.

This. Truly the only smug moms I’ve ever met are older moms. Some seem to genuinely think you’re pathetic and have a worthless life if you have kids before 40, and maybe others are jealous or insecure. Who knows.

I'm an older mom but not a smug one because I'm not rich and didn't have a particularly interesting + professionally productive life before kids. Don't write off all of us granny moms!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh, that’s way too many kids and popped out in no time! Who wants that?!

People who 1. got married at a normal age (30) 2. wanted three kids and 3. didn't want to have a "geriatric" pregnancy

[Anonymous]

My 3rd kid was born when I was 34. I married DH at 28 and got pregnant first try each time. I didn’t want to wait because while DH is a good earner, he is also 12 years older than me and we did not want him to be 50 with a baby.
Career wise, I wish I had waited to be more established. I am behind my peers because if that I think…
I am not smug and I have plenty of friends (most of my friends) with fertility issues. While I try to be sensitive about the issue, they have always been happy for me. And I am happy for them when they get a new promotion.
I don’t feel the competition and I don’t think they do either…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought you were talking about people who have three kids who are all younger than 35. Like when people say they have three under five, haha.

This cracked me up!