Will your kid make a big deal about "revealing" their college choice?
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Anonymous
+1 I mean in the grand scheme of things this is super petty to criticize high school kids about. They want to have a party to celebrate a big milestone? The nerve! There is so much worse they could be doing. |
Anonymous
I disagree. It’s a big thing in everyone’s life. The process is long. |
Anonymous
It is also developmentally normal to celebrate with your family and to recognize that grandparents literally live for this news. |
Anonymous
They already made it easier for first gens to get in. Now no one else can celebrate if they’re not first gen? |
Anonymous
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The way you described it, OP, made me think "yuck, no." My kid is not at this stage yet but will be in a few years.
But then looking through the "commitments" Instagram pages and even those bed party posts, I feel more okay with it. I still see lots of ways it could go wrong for an individual kid (like I know for a fact there are kids who are tracking the likes and comments on those commitment accounts and comparing theirs with other kids, and it makes me sad that stuff like that is so easy to do). But I also know enough about what it is to be a teenager now to know this is far from the only place where kids wind up comparing themselves, or feel the pressure to try and impress people. My kid's likely HS is one where basically all kids go on to college. To me, that takes some of the yuck factor out of it because there is a sense of all the kids having a chance to celebrate. Yes, there will be some differentiation in terms of where kids go, but unless you are at one of these elite private high schools, the vast majority of kids wind up heading to one of a handful of well regarded publics. Then you'll have some small number of kids going to very selective colleges and Ivies. And then you'll have kids who are doing something different but not in a way that is necessarily competitive. One or two kids might be going to schools overseas, which is always interesting but not necessarily something kids feel competitive about. Some will go to smaller, farther flung schools based on specific interests, and I think people mostly just feel happy for kids who find the right place for them. Some wind up at lesser known SLACs or OOS publics that might not sound super impressive, but it's because they are getting substantial merit aid, which is impressive. You just don't know. Once you get into it, you can see how it's stressful for the kids but it's really not this situation of every senior wanting to go to the same 5 schools. At all. If anything, seeing the diversity of college choices is a good reminder that there are many different ways through life. So my conclusion is that it's fine, and I agree with PPs that people should get to celebrate this after a rough few years. |
Anonymous
Sure. But that is for the grandparents. This is for the kid. Who should get to celebrate how they want. You can have both. |
Anonymous
| Are there now going to be forest fires started by college reveals?? |
Anonymous
+1 Kids can celebrate with their friends AND their family. It's not actually mutually exclusive. Honestly, it seems like a really white, UMC thing to act like all kids want nothing to do with their families. Even when I was growing up, my MC/WC family was much closer, and you shared your great news with family, and family celebrated stuff together. Grandma would make a big fuss (and your favorite meal). And then you ALSO celebrated with your friends. My kids love to call their grandparents to share their good news, because they are close, and because their grandparents are 100% purely proud. There's no competition like there can be with friends, you don't have to downplay anything, etc. It's just a different dynamic. |
Anonymous
I wouldn't be grossed out by it, but it's all about social media and likes and tracking your popularity, and there's already plenty of that. It never feels like genuine celebration, but a performance of celebration, and one with it's own kind of competition and anxiety. |
Anonymous
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Another "let's criticize other people who do things different from me and are hurting no one" post. Yay.
I'd never, ever do one of these. We are very low key. I just saw a friend of Facebook post an elaborate, themed little party because her DD chose Roger Williams University, which I had never heard of and have to Google. But for FFS-- they're excited and they have every right to be. It may not be my thing, but you better believe I Liked the sh!t out of that post. Because that matches how I feel for that family which is so, so happy for them. |
Anonymous
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These are nice. |
Anonymous
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My kid told people who asked.
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Anonymous
| Oh hell NO! |
Anonymous
x1000000 It is the DC-area way - misery loves company! |
Anonymous
As a Gen X'er, nope, this kind of thing is definitely not something I would do. Way too much effort  But hey if kids today want to do it, more power to them!
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