Will your kid make a big deal about "revealing" their college choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't know this was a thing. I mean, we've been having conversations with our son throughout the whole process and his decision on which school he will go to has just come out during those conversations.

Apparently students now "reveal" their school choice to family and friends, very similar to "gender reveals" (also obnoxious) for expecting couples? I just saw a facebook post where someone's daughter "revealed" her school choice with a cake--with frosting in the school colors inside.
Siena college has a whole list of things to do, including a powder cannon! https://www.siena.edu/news/story/10-creative-ways-to-announce-your-college-decision/?msclkid=bbf81695af5511ec85b1d6ef224a9d7c

Unless you are a first generation college student, it’s not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any reason for fun, joy, excitement in these difficult times-I'm all for it. When my kid decides, we're going to make a party of it. Thanks for the idea!

I agree!
Last year my daughter’s group of friends surprised each other with decision parties and each brought little gifts from the chosen college. They had a shitty end of high school experience and were trying to make the best of it. Good for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid hates any fuss, so we won’t be doing a reveal. However, the college application process is a long and arduous ordeal. Lots of kids don’t get into their top choices. I think having some fun and getting your kid excited about wherever they’re going is totally fine. I’m a little mystified about why so many people on here are so anti-celebration. Life is tough, let’s take the wins and celebrate them!

I'm not anti-celebration. I'm against turning everything into Instagram-worthy fodder, because apparently your life only matters if it's documented on social media with sufficient production value. It's so materialistic and performative. Have a nice dinner or call Grandma and Grandpa to tell them the exciting news! Buy a sweatshirt! But it's like gender reveals, promposals, smash cakes, etc. Everything is about generating the right photos to get likes. It's gross.

You can’t possibly have high schoolers!

[Anonymous]

A lot of high schools have a college sweatshirt day where kids wear their schools’ sweatshirt to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son did not do a reveal. He just told us when he got accepted to the school that he really wanted to go that was where he wanted to go. Some seniors at his high school set up a Instagram page for seniors to post their college choices. He posted his choice there. That’s where other parents found out where my kid was going. Their kids saw my kids college choice.

This is the current standard as far as I know.

Something else was mentioned by my DD where a group of friends have a little celebration for their friend and put college themed gifts in friends bedroom. But I don't believe that is an event meant to be publically consumed.

OP here
I've heard this referred to as a "bed party." One blog I read about it said that it is initiated by the parent of the student and that the friends are expected to contribute money towards it! I guess there are variations (like your daughter's friends bringing gifts instead of contributing money.) So does everyone just buy gifts from each other's school? That's gotta sting when a student doesn't get into a school but their friend does--and now they have to go buy a t shirt or hat or whatever from the school they got rejected from and put it in their friends bedroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any reason for fun, joy, excitement in these difficult times-I'm all for it. When my kid decides, we're going to make a party of it. Thanks for the idea!

+1
But make it for small number of people who really care about your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son did not do a reveal. He just told us when he got accepted to the school that he really wanted to go that was where he wanted to go. Some seniors at his high school set up a Instagram page for seniors to post their college choices. He posted his choice there. That’s where other parents found out where my kid was going. Their kids saw my kids college choice.

This is the current standard as far as I know.

Something else was mentioned by my DD where a group of friends have a little celebration for their friend and put college themed gifts in friends bedroom. But I don't believe that is an event meant to be publically consumed.

OP here
I've heard this referred to as a "bed party." One blog I read about it said that it is initiated by the parent of the student and that the friends are expected to contribute money towards it! I guess there are variations (like your daughter's friends bringing gifts instead of contributing money.) So does everyone just buy gifts from each other's school? That's gotta sting when a student doesn't get into a school but their friend does--and now they have to go buy a t shirt or hat or whatever from the school they got rejected from and put it in their friends bedroom?

That’s life. No one is forcing them to go to the party. Part of being an adult (which is where these kids are headed) is being gracious and able to celebrate your friends’ triumphs and realize it has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Have you all seen the college "bed party" posts?

https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/bedparty/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CbavSzmOqxs/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CP3LJwsj3SF/

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbhz-tZOvlN/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son did not do a reveal. He just told us when he got accepted to the school that he really wanted to go that was where he wanted to go. Some seniors at his high school set up a Instagram page for seniors to post their college choices. He posted his choice there. That’s where other parents found out where my kid was going. Their kids saw my kids college choice.

This is the current standard as far as I know.

Something else was mentioned by my DD where a group of friends have a little celebration for their friend and put college themed gifts in friends bedroom. But I don't believe that is an event meant to be publically consumed.

OP here
I've heard this referred to as a "bed party." One blog I read about it said that it is initiated by the parent of the student and that the friends are expected to contribute money towards it! I guess there are variations (like your daughter's friends bringing gifts instead of contributing money.) So does everyone just buy gifts from each other's school? That's gotta sting when a student doesn't get into a school but their friend does--and now they have to go buy a t shirt or hat or whatever from the school they got rejected from and put it in their friends bedroom?

That’s life. No one is forcing them to go to the party. Part of being an adult (which is where these kids are headed) is being gracious and able to celebrate your friends’ triumphs and realize it has nothing to do with you.

Part of being an adult is also realizing that not every life event requires your friends to buy you stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid hates any fuss, so we won’t be doing a reveal. However, the college application process is a long and arduous ordeal. Lots of kids don’t get into their top choices. I think having some fun and getting your kid excited about wherever they’re going is totally fine. I’m a little mystified about why so many people on here are so anti-celebration. Life is tough, let’s take the wins and celebrate them!

I'm not anti-celebration. I'm against turning everything into Instagram-worthy fodder, because apparently your life only matters if it's documented on social media with sufficient production value. It's so materialistic and performative. Have a nice dinner or call Grandma and Grandpa to tell them the exciting news! Buy a sweatshirt! But it's like gender reveals, promposals, smash cakes, etc. Everything is about generating the right photos to get likes. It's gross.

You can’t possibly have high schoolers!

Sorry your kids aren't close to their grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son did not do a reveal. He just told us when he got accepted to the school that he really wanted to go that was where he wanted to go. Some seniors at his high school set up a Instagram page for seniors to post their college choices. He posted his choice there. That’s where other parents found out where my kid was going. Their kids saw my kids college choice.

This is the current standard as far as I know.

Something else was mentioned by my DD where a group of friends have a little celebration for their friend and put college themed gifts in friends bedroom. But I don't believe that is an event meant to be publically consumed.

OP here
I've heard this referred to as a "bed party." One blog I read about it said that it is initiated by the parent of the student and that the friends are expected to contribute money towards it! I guess there are variations (like your daughter's friends bringing gifts instead of contributing money.) So does everyone just buy gifts from each other's school? That's gotta sting when a student doesn't get into a school but their friend does--and now they have to go buy a t shirt or hat or whatever from the school they got rejected from and put it in their friends bedroom?

A parent asking their kid's friends to buy them stuff, let alone just fork over cash, is so beyond tacky I can't even imagine it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you all seen the college "bed party" posts?

https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/bedparty/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CbavSzmOqxs/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CP3LJwsj3SF/

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbhz-tZOvlN/

Wow.
I can't imagine even having that much college gear. I managed to graduate without buying one single sweatshirt, hat, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man you seem to care a lot about what other people do.

I wonder why that is?

So you don’t ever care what others do? Not ever? I find that hard to believe.

If it doesn't affect me, others near me or society at large, no, and I think it is weird and disturbing to do otherwise.

Yes I know lots of people do it, that doesn't make it not weird.

I don't care what others wear, how they spend their money, what they choose to do in their free time, what they post on social media, how they eat, where they vacation, etc etc etc. I don't understand why anyone else does either. People love to judge I guess.

And before you say "but you are judging the judgers" I will point out that this is a discussion forum and the OP asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid hates any fuss, so we won’t be doing a reveal. However, the college application process is a long and arduous ordeal. Lots of kids don’t get into their top choices. I think having some fun and getting your kid excited about wherever they’re going is totally fine. I’m a little mystified about why so many people on here are so anti-celebration. Life is tough, let’s take the wins and celebrate them!

I'm not anti-celebration. I'm against turning everything into Instagram-worthy fodder, because apparently your life only matters if it's documented on social media with sufficient production value. It's so materialistic and performative. Have a nice dinner or call Grandma and Grandpa to tell them the exciting news! Buy a sweatshirt! But it's like gender reveals, promposals, smash cakes, etc. Everything is about generating the right photos to get likes. It's gross.

You can’t possibly have high schoolers!

Sorry your kids aren't close to their grandparents.

It has nothing to do with them not being close.
It’s developmentally normal for high school kids to want to celebrate with their friends, not their grandparents. Again, it seems like you don’t have high schoolers.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I can't find a big enough eyeroll emoji.