Who pays for the date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:after all the $$$ i spend on grooming and primping etc etc, yeah he should pay in the beginning. maybe I am old fashioned.

This is so stupid. All of your primping is optional, so a man has no obligation to “reimburse” you for it. Grow up.

Most men prefer women who are less primped. Just take a shower and put on some comfortable shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you date traditionally, you will end up that way.

Not from what I have observed, or at least not fairing any better in the husband dept, the women I know who happily paid for their dates or split the check are working full time, splitting the bills, and still do the majority of everything in the household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

are ALL women like this - cheap, manipulative gold diggers?

The incels are out in full force.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these independent feminists here! Pay or hit the road jack.

LOL

I think you have a unique view of feminism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

are ALL women like this - cheap, manipulative gold diggers?

The incels are out in full force.

It's not gonna work. Come up with a new catch-all shaming tactic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom also taught me not to let a man take me out and pay for me, if I am not really interested. So men should be happy to pay for dates - it is a subtle sign the woman is attracted

Feminism, independence will play when you move in together and split serious purchases and share chores. Nobody wins from being cheap at dates.

That makes no sense. A man pays for dates to show the woman he is a provider/has resources. In the marriage there will be no expectation that a woman would contribute financially or that the man does chores. The man is not dating the woman because she makes money, has a good job or has a financial upside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

are ALL women like this - cheap, manipulative gold diggers?

Gold digging is asking you to assign me your house deed without making a downpayment. By allowing you to pay for dates a woman shows you her respect of your masculinity. There is a huge difference

I think my great grandmother has risen from the dead, hallelujah!

Exactly. Why on earth should I pay as a woman if you asked me out? Of course I would never ask you out so I should never have to pay. I'll only pay if we're in a committed relationship and I'm taking you out for your birthday or something similar. Call me old-fashioned or don't call me at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

are ALL women like this - cheap, manipulative gold diggers?

Gold digging is asking you to assign me your house deed without making a downpayment. By allowing you to pay for dates a woman shows you her respect of your masculinity. There is a huge difference

I think my great grandmother has risen from the dead, hallelujah!

Exactly. Why on earth should I pay as a woman if you asked me out? Of course I would never ask you out so I should never have to pay. I'll only pay if we're in a committed relationship and I'm taking you out for your birthday or something similar. Call me old-fashioned or don't call me at all.

Ha. Yes to this. I also agree with the PP about at least offering to split the check if you truly aren’t interested in seeing them again. And that is a sincere offer, not a half hearted I hope he says no offer.

[Anonymous]

The insecure men here are confusing me. If you ask someone on a date, you don’t expect to pay? When we were dating I would occasionally pay, but it was for things I planned like when his favorite comedian was in town. Leaving aside “courtship” isn’t it good manners to pay for things you are inviting someone to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

are ALL women like this - cheap, manipulative gold diggers?

Gold digging is asking you to assign me your house deed without making a downpayment. By allowing you to pay for dates a woman shows you her respect of your masculinity. There is a huge difference

Are you out of your mind???? Gosh, I feel bad for my son who will soon start to date. I will teach him that any woman who panders to "his masculinity" by making him pay is a fraud. Pay for your own shit lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

are ALL women like this - cheap, manipulative gold diggers?

Gold digging is asking you to assign me your house deed without making a downpayment. By allowing you to pay for dates a woman shows you her respect of your masculinity. There is a huge difference

Are you out of your mind???? Gosh, I feel bad for my son who will soon start to date. I will teach him that any woman who panders to "his masculinity" by making him pay is a fraud. Pay for your own shit lady.

I have a son, too. He is 15 abs knows he buys an ice cream for girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

are ALL women like this - cheap, manipulative gold diggers?

Gold digging is asking you to assign me your house deed without making a downpayment. By allowing you to pay for dates a woman shows you her respect of your masculinity. There is a huge difference

Are you out of your mind???? Gosh, I feel bad for my son who will soon start to date. I will teach him that any woman who panders to "his masculinity" by making him pay is a fraud. Pay for your own shit lady.

I have a son, too. He is 15 abs knows he buys an ice cream for girl

If he wants to buy her ice cream, there is nothing wrong with that. We can all be generous. I have a problem with your statement above that it's somehow his duty as a man to buy, and your duty as a woman to make him feel masculine by letting him buy you stuff. What a load of crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom also taught me not to let a man take me out and pay for me, if I am not really interested. So men should be happy to pay for dates - it is a subtle sign the woman is attracted

Feminism, independence will play when you move in together and split serious purchases and share chores. Nobody wins from being cheap at dates.

That makes no sense. A man pays for dates to show the woman he is a provider/has resources. In the marriage there will be no expectation that a woman would contribute financially or that the man does chores. The man is not dating the woman because she makes money, has a good job or has a financial upside.

No, the man pays to show HE can contribute equally and not cheap. I live in a good house, go to nice restaurants with my girlfriends and a cheap man who “reconciles” the receipts won’t fit in my lifestyle.
When I dated my husband, he paid for dates but our first trip abroad together was split. We contribute equally in the household but he always takes out his wallet when we go out as family

[Anonymous]

I do think you should offer, I say, "do you mind if I treat for (whatever)." The dinner or drinks or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom also taught me not to let a man take me out and pay for me, if I am not really interested. So men should be happy to pay for dates - it is a subtle sign the woman is attracted

Feminism, independence will play when you move in together and split serious purchases and share chores. Nobody wins from being cheap at dates.

That makes no sense. A man pays for dates to show the woman he is a provider/has resources. In the marriage there will be no expectation that a woman would contribute financially or that the man does chores. The man is not dating the woman because she makes money, has a good job or has a financial upside.

No, the man pays to show HE can contribute equally and not cheap. I live in a good house, go to nice restaurants with my girlfriends and a cheap man who “reconciles” the receipts won’t fit in my lifestyle.
When I dated my husband, he paid for dates but our first trip abroad together was split. We contribute equally in the household but he always takes out his wallet when we go out as family

+1

If a guy doesn't pay the first few dates he's not that in to you - move on.