Who pays for the date?

[Anonymous]

Maybe date 2 is borderline but if you didn’t offer to pay something by date 3 I’d phase you out probably.

I have no desire to live in a time when the man is expected to pay for dates and the woman is expected to put out.

[Anonymous]

Offer to pay. If he lets you pay regularly, move along.

[Anonymous]

I am dating someone regularly. I pay for dinner when we go out once a week. She cooks dinner for me at her place once a week. She loves to cook and is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

This.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dating someone regularly. I pay for dinner when we go out once a week. She cooks dinner for me at her place once a week. She loves to cook and is

That’s nice. Any kind of reciprocity is fine. I wouldn’t want to give a guy the impression that I expect to be taken care of. It’s not the 1950s, and I am looking for a partner in life in every respect. If I had less money I’d pay for less expensive things, if more I’d be happy to pay more.

[Anonymous]

So you make money that the men you date but wonder if you should occasionally pay? Mmmkkkaaayyy

I’m a woman and I reciprocate when I go on dates. I don’t think a man should treat me as something he is paying for.

[Anonymous]

The whole idea of courtship comes from a time when men had to exchange resources for sex, and this was a good deal for women because they could not get resources without sex due to the patriarchy.

Now that’s no longer the case but it may be ingrained in men socially that if they don’t have to work for it it’s not really valuable. YMMV but it’s good to think about all the different dynamics in play for you and what you want in your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Generally he should pay for everything. But it's fine if you like went to the bathroom and bought back some candy or popcorn for you both to share, or drinks or whatever. But generally- yeah, at least in upper class circles, the man always pays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

This.

+1

[Anonymous]

after all the $$$ i spend on grooming and primping etc etc, yeah he should pay in the beginning. maybe I am old fashioned.

[Anonymous]

My mom taught me this: 1. Never order expensive food in restaurants for first few dates 2. Always offer to split the bill at a first date but if he allows you, he’s not that into you and don’t have long term intentions. Make sure the first date was the last one- don’t go out with him for further dates 3. Make yourself a good income and split serious purchases like travel, joint home, presents for friends. But don’t date a man who’s not able to pay for a restaurant or a movie

Women spend way more on cosmetics, dressing nice for men when they go out, so yes, restaurants and entertainment on dates is always covered by men

[Anonymous]

Look at all these independent feminists here! Pay or hit the road jack.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom taught me this: 1. Never order expensive food in restaurants for first few dates 2. Always offer to split the bill at a first date but if he allows you, he’s not that into you and don’t have long term intentions. Make sure the first date was the last one- don’t go out with him for further dates 3. Make yourself a good income and split serious purchases like travel, joint home, presents for friends. But don’t date a man who’s not able to pay for a restaurant or a movie

Women spend way more on cosmetics, dressing nice for men when they go out, so yes, restaurants and entertainment on dates is always covered by men

That's your vanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:after all the $$$ i spend on grooming and primping etc etc, yeah he should pay in the beginning. maybe I am old fashioned.

This is so stupid. All of your primping is optional, so a man has no obligation to “reimburse” you for it. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

My mom also taught me not to let a man take me out and pay for me, if I am not really interested. So men should be happy to pay for dates - it is a subtle sign the woman is attracted

Feminism, independence will play when you move in together and split serious purchases and share chores. Nobody wins from being cheap at dates.