Who pays for the date?

[Anonymous]

I have a question about paying for dates! In the past I was always quick to split the bill or even pay for the date, but I am working on leading with a more feminine energy. It still feels quite awkward to me so I'd love your input.
Background:
Went on a first date on Saturday, he arranged the date and I had a fancy cocktail and appetizer and he paid. He set up the second date for next Saturday, a hockey game and he arranged it and got the tickets. I was thinking it would be nice to offer to pay for any drinks/snacks that we get there.What do you think? Should I offer or continue to let him treat me?TLR - Do you ever pay for dates or aspects of the date? What date do you start offering? Who should pay for ongoing dates? Whats the etiquette? I think I make more money than guys that I usually date also

[Anonymous]

It would be nice of you to offer to pay for the snacks since he got the tickets.

[Anonymous]

I think you should definitely offer to pay. I'm a woman. It sets up a dynamic early on of more equal expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be nice of you to offer to pay for the snacks since he got the tickets.

+1 I struggle with this too and sometimes force myself to let the guy pay. My natural instinct is to offer, especially after the third date. One man told me he gets insulted when women offer to pay because he thinks it means they don't like him (he was right in my case lol!). Actually, when I've gone out with someone a few times and realize in the midst of what becomes our last date, I always offer to pay.

[Anonymous]

Hockey game is an easy one. When he's busy watching, offer to go up and get snacks/drinks. He'll appreciate being able to leave that to you while he watches the game without interruption, and you'll have a short line since most people go to get food/drinks during the breaks not in the middle of the game.

[Anonymous]

He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

[Anonymous]

Don't offer to pay for the snacks. Just go do it. Avoids all awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should definitely offer to pay. I'm a woman. It sets up a dynamic early on of more equal expectations.

It most certainly doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

This.

[Anonymous]

I would offer to go up and get the snacks and just pay for them. If he insisted on going up to get the food, I wouldn’t argue about paying etc., I would let him treat and look to pay for some part of the date the next time. It’s been awhile but I think by date four I would look to alternate who does most of the traveling to see the other person and who plans and pays for most of the date.

[Anonymous]

Generally for the first few dates defer to letting the guy pay. But it’s fine for you to go buy some snacks for the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He pays of course! I would offer to buy snacks or incidentals on dates and be ok with that. That is more about helping logistically if you can go up and buy snacks or get something you need when out. But if he wanted to split the check at dinner or split the entire date cost, I would happily agree but then phase him out.

Sexist.

[Anonymous]

He does, and even for the snacks. My brothers and daddy taught me well.

[Anonymous]

It depends on which of you is employed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on which of you is employed.

Don't date unemployed people.