Who pays for the date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always offer to split it. Most men will refuse.

I find that the amount of times they refuse to let you pay is not an indicator of interest. I have a guy that I have known a couple years that I used to date occasionally but we have now settled into a platonic friendship and he still insists on paying and doing all the cooking for me. Another guy insisted on paying on all 6 of our dates, never kissed me, then ghosted me. I dated a guy for 8 months and he usually paid for most things, but he made way more money than I did. On the other hand, I dated a guy for a couple of months and he never paid--I think he was gay. The guy I am currently dating suggested we split the bar tab on the first date, but then has cooked for me on subsequent dates.

Yep that is true. I think women track who pays as a ego boost. Along the lines of I am so desirable/attractive that I never pay or how dare he not pay I am worth so much more. It’s a way to keep score. Men know that. So it will never go away here. Now in Iceland where society truly see each sex as capable/equal everyone splits and women ask men out.

pp, exactly!!!! I'm a woman and it really pisses me off how women in this country cherry-pick in which aspects they want to be treated equally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should definitely offer to pay. I'm a woman. It sets up a dynamic early on of more equal expectations.

Agree.

It is not FEMININE to be dependent like a child.

[Anonymous]

I don’t pay until the 3rd date. It takes time to understand a man’s true intentions, and I don’t want to pay at the beginning when he is most likely to be misrepresenting what he’s looking for.

[Anonymous]

I think just getting some snacks is a good idea. You guys talk about what you want. If he offers to go get it you can something like “Actually, I need to stop at the restroom anyways. I’ll pick up the food on the way back.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should definitely offer to pay. I'm a woman. It sets up a dynamic early on of more equal expectations.

Agree.

It is not FEMININE to be dependent like a child.

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The man pays for everything relating to the date - dinner, drinks, sports tickets, snacks, peanuts, parking, tips, gas, everything. The woman's job is to look her best, have fun, and be a great companion.
After 1-3 dates, if there is mutual attraction, they hook up. If neither party ghosts, then they are officially a couple, and have an honest discussion about sharing expenses.
But if the man decides after 1 to 3 dates that he is not attracted, then he stops calling.
And, if the woman decides that she is not interested, then she either tells him that she is no longer in position to keep going out, or she makes up excuses until he gets the message.

The system is not perfect, but that is how dating has worked for a long time, and there are many happy marriages, including mine, that started off that way.

Hope that helps!

Nothing about this is codified or universal. I repudiate it entirely. If you want to put your puss on the auction block to the highest bidder, have at it, but I, another woman, find you repugnant .

I'm guessing that don't get asked for a lot of dates?

Married twelve years, sweetheart, thanks for your concern!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Each person pays for themselves. Jesus

According to who? Neanderthals?

Women who don't put a price on their snatch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always offer to split it. Most men will refuse.

I find that the amount of times they refuse to let you pay is not an indicator of interest. I have a guy that I have known a couple years that I used to date occasionally but we have now settled into a platonic friendship and he still insists on paying and doing all the cooking for me. Another guy insisted on paying on all 6 of our dates, never kissed me, then ghosted me. I dated a guy for 8 months and he usually paid for most things, but he made way more money than I did. On the other hand, I dated a guy for a couple of months and he never paid--I think he was gay. The guy I am currently dating suggested we split the bar tab on the first date, but then has cooked for me on subsequent dates.

Yep that is true. I think women track who pays as a ego boost. Along the lines of I am so desirable/attractive that I never pay or how dare he not pay I am worth so much more. It’s a way to keep score. Men know that. So it will never go away here. Now in Iceland where society truly see each sex as capable/equal everyone splits and women ask men out.

pp, exactly!!!! I'm a woman and it really pisses me off how women in this country cherry-pick in which aspects they want to be treated equally.

This. They want to be considered equal at work, but a pretty princess who never opens her purse at the bar or restaurant. Men will never see women as equals as long as women agitate for this unequal arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know one woman who always insisted on paying for her own dinner, etc. She was very successful, but had a hard time to find the right guy. She finally got married in her late thirties. Her husband works some low paying job while she works full time with no breaks. She always complains about him being lazy.

I do not understand this. Are you complaining about the “roll reversal”? So are women the only ones allowed to take low paying jobs while their husbands work the “real” job and make money? Some how I do not think you would be sympathetic to a DH who complained about never getting a break while his under employed “lazy” DW did nothing.

It's not about sympathy, it's about what women will and will not tolerate on the dating market. Sorry, no one is crying over these men, lol

So you hate the woman who insist on paying her own way? LOL oh the dating market will not tolerate this! Women will date broke losers who scrape up enough money for a cheap meal, women will date cheap social inept short rich man who splits the check, women will pick up the check for the two timing player. The “dating market” tolerates a wide range of things.

I couldnt care less what stupid, desperate women put up with. If anything I feel sorry for them. It's usually unattractive women who are just extremely desperate for any man at all. So glad not to be in that group, I'm sure it's hard mentally.

Wow that is misogynistic.

women can be misogynistic, huh, who knew?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know one woman who always insisted on paying for her own dinner, etc. She was very successful, but had a hard time to find the right guy. She finally got married in her late thirties. Her husband works some low paying job while she works full time with no breaks. She always complains about him being lazy.

I do not understand this. Are you complaining about the “roll reversal”? So are women the only ones allowed to take low paying jobs while their husbands work the “real” job and make money? Some how I do not think you would be sympathetic to a DH who complained about never getting a break while his under employed “lazy” DW did nothing.

It's not about sympathy, it's about what women will and will not tolerate on the dating market. Sorry, no one is crying over these men, lol

So you hate the woman who insist on paying her own way? LOL oh the dating market will not tolerate this! Women will date broke losers who scrape up enough money for a cheap meal, women will date cheap social inept short rich man who splits the check, women will pick up the check for the two timing player. The “dating market” tolerates a wide range of things.

I couldnt care less what stupid, desperate women put up with. If anything I feel sorry for them. It's usually unattractive women who are just extremely desperate for any man at all. So glad not to be in that group, I'm sure it's hard mentally.

Wow that is misogynistic.

women can be misogynistic, huh, who knew?

I think we would be a lot further along in our fight for equality if women themselves weren't propagating mysoginity (this thread is a perfect example).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know one woman who always insisted on paying for her own dinner, etc. She was very successful, but had a hard time to find the right guy. She finally got married in her late thirties. Her husband works some low paying job while she works full time with no breaks. She always complains about him being lazy.

I do not understand this. Are you complaining about the “roll reversal”? So are women the only ones allowed to take low paying jobs while their husbands work the “real” job and make money? Some how I do not think you would be sympathetic to a DH who complained about never getting a break while his under employed “lazy” DW did nothing.

It's not about sympathy, it's about what women will and will not tolerate on the dating market. Sorry, no one is crying over these men, lol

So you hate the woman who insist on paying her own way? LOL oh the dating market will not tolerate this! Women will date broke losers who scrape up enough money for a cheap meal, women will date cheap social inept short rich man who splits the check, women will pick up the check for the two timing player. The “dating market” tolerates a wide range of things.

I couldnt care less what stupid, desperate women put up with. If anything I feel sorry for them. It's usually unattractive women who are just extremely desperate for any man at all. So glad not to be in that group, I'm sure it's hard mentally.

Wow that is misogynistic.

women can be misogynistic, huh, who knew?

I think we would be a lot further along in our fight for equality if women themselves weren't propagating mysoginity (this thread is a perfect example).

Disagreeing with a woman isn’t misogyny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know one woman who always insisted on paying for her own dinner, etc. She was very successful, but had a hard time to find the right guy. She finally got married in her late thirties. Her husband works some low paying job while she works full time with no breaks. She always complains about him being lazy.

I do not understand this. Are you complaining about the “roll reversal”? So are women the only ones allowed to take low paying jobs while their husbands work the “real” job and make money? Some how I do not think you would be sympathetic to a DH who complained about never getting a break while his under employed “lazy” DW did nothing.

It's not about sympathy, it's about what women will and will not tolerate on the dating market. Sorry, no one is crying over these men, lol

So you hate the woman who insist on paying her own way? LOL oh the dating market will not tolerate this! Women will date broke losers who scrape up enough money for a cheap meal, women will date cheap social inept short rich man who splits the check, women will pick up the check for the two timing player. The “dating market” tolerates a wide range of things.

I couldnt care less what stupid, desperate women put up with. If anything I feel sorry for them. It's usually unattractive women who are just extremely desperate for any man at all. So glad not to be in that group, I'm sure it's hard mentally.

Wow that is misogynistic.

women can be misogynistic, huh, who knew?

I think we would be a lot further along in our fight for equality if women themselves weren't propagating mysoginity (this thread is a perfect example).

Disagreeing with a woman isn’t misogyny.

Calling a woman who offers to split the check on a date stupid and desperate is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married in my 30s. Every man I ever dated payed for (nearly) everything on dates. I recall an exBF shutting down my attempt to at least split the check when we met up once after we’d been broken up for some time- just as friends. There are times I go out with dads of kids’ mine are friends with- plus our kids. They always grab the tan before I even have a chance. I think for most men it is just their nature

Sure. It’s just their nature. Whatever you have to tell yourself and your short arms when the check comes. You are a free loader.

I remember in my 20’s and we would all go out as group. Everyone would throw money in to cover the bill except it would never be enough money. Eventually we figured who the cheapskate was. We all went out and ran up a big bill. When it came to time paid we just passed the check to him. He was so upset. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t pay until the 3rd date. It takes time to understand a man’s true intentions, and I don’t want to pay at the beginning when he is most likely to be misrepresenting what he’s looking for.

Kinda telegraphs your intentions . . . let's see how well this ATM works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The man pays for everything relating to the date - dinner, drinks, sports tickets, snacks, peanuts, parking, tips, gas, everything. The woman's job is to look her best, have fun, and be a great companion.
After 1-3 dates, if there is mutual attraction, they hook up. If neither party ghosts, then they are officially a couple, and have an honest discussion about sharing expenses.
But if the man decides after 1 to 3 dates that he is not attracted, then he stops calling.
And, if the woman decides that she is not interested, then she either tells him that she is no longer in position to keep going out, or she makes up excuses until he gets the message.

The system is not perfect, but that is how dating has worked for a long time, and there are many happy marriages, including mine, that started off that way.

Hope that helps!

Nothing about this is codified or universal. I repudiate it entirely. If you want to put your puss on the auction block to the highest bidder, have at it, but I, another woman, find you repugnant .

I'm guessing that don't get asked for a lot of dates?

Married twelve years, sweetheart, thanks for your concern!

And how is that marriage?