Driving teenagers from a party to another house after they have been drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

I don’t think you went to law school LOL at this ridiculousness. OP did not give them alcohol . What exactly do you think they would charge her with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have taken them home.

This. You are encouraging the behavior. I would have had each one call their parents and I would have had them pick them up at my house or drop them off meeting the parent at the door.

And that would be the last time they call. Next time they’ll drive drunk.

OP I think you handled it perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sad for parents who feel like they have to act okay with this.

Well, unless they ARE okay with it. If OP wants to turn a blind eye to the drinking, then turning a blind eye in the car would be the right play.

I’m sort of appalled at these kids. Don’t they have Uber? IMO if you’re old enough to drink, you should be old enough to safely sneak around. The “always call me” thing is for when you’re in trouble. It shouldn’t mean “don’t plan or take any responsibility for getting yourself around safely.” I would have taken them all home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have taken them home.

This. You are encouraging the behavior. I would have had each one call their parents and I would have had them pick them up at my house or drop them off meeting the parent at the door.

And that would be the last time they call. Next time they’ll drive drunk.

OP I think you handled it perfectly.

Next time they should make a plan. Calling mom and driving drunk are not the only options.

I might give this kid a breathalyzer ignition because he doesn’t seem mature enough to drink safely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have taken them home.

This. You are encouraging the behavior. I would have had each one call their parents and I would have had them pick them up at my house or drop them off meeting the parent at the door.

And that would be the last time they call. Next time they’ll drive drunk.

OP I think you handled it perfectly.

Next time they should make a plan. Calling mom and driving drunk are not the only options.

I might give this kid a breathalyzer ignition because he doesn’t seem mature enough to drink safely.

Like do you even have teenagers? Yeah it would be great if they plan ahead. Most teens don’t do great at it.
If OPs kid calls her because he needs a ride, she did everything right.
Uber is a great suggestion but they may find themselves turned down. Technically you’re supposed to be 18 and a lot of uber drivers would turn down a group of kids.
Overreacting with a breathalyzer ignition is….crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

And, again, what would OP be liable for???
OP, I am with you. I drilled it into my kids’ heads that they were never to drive even if they had just one drink or to get into a car with someone who had been drinking. Each of them had one or two incidences of asking for a ride. Both are now in their late 20’s and rarely drink at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have taken them home.

This. You are encouraging the behavior. I would have had each one call their parents and I would have had them pick them up at my house or drop them off meeting the parent at the door.

And that would be the last time they call. Next time they’ll drive drunk.

OP I think you handled it perfectly.

Next time they should make a plan. Calling mom and driving drunk are not the only options.

I might give this kid a breathalyzer ignition because he doesn’t seem mature enough to drink safely.

You’re the parent they avoided calling! Just FYI.
You always, always help your kid with a ride no questions asked. I have told my kid call me anytime you need help and I won’t punish you. I’ve told their friends that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

What harm are we assuming happened here for which OP could even be held accountable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

You’ve watched too much Law and Order or something. This is dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have taken them home.

This. You are encouraging the behavior. I would have had each one call their parents and I would have had them pick them up at my house or drop them off meeting the parent at the door.

And that would be the last time they call. Next time they’ll drive drunk.

OP I think you handled it perfectly.

Next time they should make a plan. Calling mom and driving drunk are not the only options.

I might give this kid a breathalyzer ignition because he doesn’t seem mature enough to drink safely.

Like do you even have teenagers? Yeah it would be great if they plan ahead. Most teens don’t do great at it.
If OPs kid calls her because he needs a ride, she did everything right.
Uber is a great suggestion but they may find themselves turned down. Technically you’re supposed to be 18 and a lot of uber drivers would turn down a group of kids.
Overreacting with a breathalyzer ignition is….crazy.

My guess is OP’s kids are no older than elementary age, or graduated from high school so long ago that OP is romanticizing the teen years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sad for parents who feel like they have to act okay with this.

Well, unless they ARE okay with it. If OP wants to turn a blind eye to the drinking, then turning a blind eye in the car would be the right play.

I’m sort of appalled at these kids. Don’t they have Uber? IMO if you’re old enough to drink, you should be old enough to safely sneak around. The “always call me” thing is for when you’re in trouble. It shouldn’t mean “don’t plan or take any responsibility for getting yourself around safely.” I would have taken them all home.

It's exactly what it is. OP's teen daughter admitted to drinking too, and OP is cool with it, accepting her lie. I suspect there's a history of alcoholism in OP's family, probably a parent given how desperate she is to please and has trouble establishing healthy boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid needs an Uber account with unlimited access when drinking.

No you can’t be liable. Don’t tell people you knew they were drinking.

Prosecutor: According to the ME, Larlo’s Blood Alcohol Level was 0.25 meaning he was already intoxicated when he got into your car an hour earlier. Karlo testified that Larlo stumbled getting into your car and had difficulty fastening his seat belt. Is it your contention that you failed to notice his impairment?

What harm are we assuming happened here for which OP could even be held accountable?

Someone wanders away gets lost in the woods and dies. Someone gets raped Someone drowns in the pool all the storied you hear about with drunk kids at parties. People start talking, naming, names and pointing fingers when they or their kids are facing criminal charges and jail time and it's incredibly foolish to think no one would say anything about the boys drinking before they came to the second party or that OP deopped them there and knew they had been drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you collect all their car keys?
Did you tell the parents at the house where you dropped them off?
Were there sober and aware adults at the house where you left the impaired teenagers?

The missing piece here is that just getting him to call instead of drive is a win, but not the end game. They call you so you can get them home safely and praise them for calling.

This isn't about "punishing them" as other posters are saying. But when you left them, they were impaired and not safely home. This is why you are feeling uneasy and asking if you did the right thing. Your gut is telling you you didn't. Why is that? Were you up all night hoping they stayed where you left them and didn't drink more?

So, they weren't all safely home, and you dumped a liability onto the other parents without telling them. Were they even home? Anything could have happened after that, and you were the adult in charge who could have prevented it. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I think you already know this is why you are feeling uneasy.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should be congratulated on raising a conscientious son who didn’t get sloppy drunk, didn’t hang out with friends who did, didn’t drive drunk and trusted you enough to come pick them up. I hope my son would do the same. Good job Mom.

Agree with this. They did the right thing to call. And you weren't "Encouraging" it. You were taking them to a safe place to sleep over.

I"d want my kid to call me. And we'd have the "drinking" talk after. I'm not policing other kids in this situation.

The'll be in college soon so all of you acting like these are young kids -and thinking you have the same control - are crazy.

+1 Agree! I think OP made the right decision.

Disagree. The right decision would have been to bring the boys back to her house and wait for them to sober up, they could have gone to the sleepover later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have taken them home.

This. You are encouraging the behavior. I would have had each one call their parents and I would have had them pick them up at my house or drop them off meeting the parent at the door.

And that would be the last time they call. Next time they’ll drive drunk.

OP I think you handled it perfectly.

Next time they should make a plan. Calling mom and driving drunk are not the only options.

I might give this kid a breathalyzer ignition because he doesn’t seem mature enough to drink safely.

You’re the parent they avoided calling! Just FYI.
You always, always help your kid with a ride no questions asked. I have told my kid call me anytime you need help and I won’t punish you. I’ve told their friends that too.

My son’s friend was at a party and they pulled out coke so he has to get out quick, no calling mom. Ubers are 5 min away and my son was there even quicker.

Hey I heard the car last night, yea joe was in a bad situation I had to pick him up. I didn’t ask and found out the whole story a year later.

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