55 y.o. Female - no desire to date, what’s my problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given the general consensus on DCUM that men are lazy, incompetent, and untrustworthy, how can anyone say it's a bad thing when you're finally not interested in them anymore?

BC is is also the end of sex.

No it’s not.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

[Anonymous]

I have no desire to be in a committed relationship but I do enjoy casual relationships because I do like men and I do like sex. It’s not hard to find guys who can fill the bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so effing depressing.

np I think it is more depressing when women are stuck with men who are terrible partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so effing depressing.

np I think it is more depressing when women are stuck with men who are terrible partners.

And the women that aren't divorced but remain partnered and drag down their own marriages for all these same reasons should just get divorced because they are terrible partners also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

Seriously, PP, how could you post something so callous. Obviously sex with the man you married before you were thirty and raised a family with and continue to love is different from women divorced in midlife and dealing with trying to form something whole from the broken pieces that are out there to work with. Congratulations on being happy now go back to your completely irrelevant to this discussion reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so effing depressing.

np I think it is more depressing when women are stuck with men who are terrible partners.

And the women that aren't divorced but remain partnered and drag down their own marriages for all these same reasons should just get divorced because they are terrible partners also.

Is it being a terrible partner to expect to have a voice in the relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

Seriously, PP, how could you post something so callous. Obviously sex with the man you married before you were thirty and raised a family with and continue to love is different from women divorced in midlife and dealing with trying to form something whole from the broken pieces that are out there to work with. Congratulations on being happy now go back to your completely irrelevant to this discussion reality.

Sheesh. This website needs a bitter divorced women self help forum. Anyone -- man or woman -- who doesn't think men are terrible and marriage is nothing but a drag gets the old bitters are riled up and out in force.

Yes, the PP was disagreeing with all the people who say that relationships are not worth it and that self love is an adequate substitute. That's the subject of thread. She is not required to empathize with people who made bad relationship choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my grandfather passed away at 60 my grandmother stayed single for 30 years. She just didn’t enjoy dating and pursued her own dreams; she earned a phd, travelled the world, wrote a book. It wasn’t until she was 90 that she felt the desire for romantic companionship and began dating a younger (86) man.

Your grandmother sounds awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

You literally "disagree" with people because you have had the opposite experience from most women replying to this thread. Your empathy is missing, I think? Did you think that your story about your good partner and good marriage would help explain how posters, who are single and divorced, feel? Or was just an excuse to brag? Weird. Yes, masturbation is different from sex. Its as different from sex with a new partner/dating in midlife, as your sex with your husband of 25 years is too, so lets not compare apples to apples when you urge women to feel like second class citizens for enjoying masturbating, as that just pushes shame and drives women back into bad relationships.

+1 The PP's comment is not at all helpful. She has a completely different experience. And apparently, she can't imagine other people's lives. Of course she things relationships are worth living for!!! She has been happily married for 25 years!! However, for many women, relationships have brought awful consquences and were not fulfilling...which is something apparently she can't understand. She should not have posted.

Seriously, PP, how could you post something so callous. Obviously sex with the man you married before you were thirty and raised a family with and continue to love is different from women divorced in midlife and dealing with trying to form something whole from the broken pieces that are out there to work with. Congratulations on being happy now go back to your completely irrelevant to this discussion reality.

Sheesh. This website needs a bitter divorced women self help forum. Anyone -- man or woman -- who doesn't think men are terrible and marriage is nothing but a drag gets the old bitters are riled up and out in force.

Yes, the PP was disagreeing with all the people who say that relationships are not worth it and that self love is an adequate substitute. That's the subject of thread. She is not required to empathize with people who made bad relationship choices.

OP is not divorced… are you in the right thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in this age range and I completely disagree with most of the posters here.

I think having a companion and partner is one of the greatest joys of life, and definitely worth seeking. It doesn’t have to be a marriage, but the intimacy of a relationship with a man gives me so much more than the friendship that I have with women.

I think women’s declining libido is mostly related to their boredom with their spouse. The impact of menopause and sex drive is overrated, and closely related to women’s boredom. I know many menopausal women who have active sex lives, and the ones who do are into their partners or dating.

Sex and intimacy with a partner is so, so much better than with yourself. Sorry it is just so much better than doing it solo.

Relationships bring a lot of disappointments and heartbreak. But they are also what make life living for. I have a lot of other things in my life, but I will always want a partner to share my life with. I’ve been married for 25 years and these are some of my observations.

Wow so sad the only way you have intimacy is through sex. Do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were socialized to believe that a good life included being coupled up. Many of us have come to the realization that being a couple sucks. I think perhaps 20% of my married friends are still married and happy. Most are just not happy, many are divorced a few widowed.

Very few really want to remarry.

It was not all the great even having a partner during the raising of the kids age. Men are not helpful, they become just another child and we would rather vacation with a friend and their kids.

The whole marriage thing is a sham, congrats you "won the game".

My uncle is 80, and keeps a stable of about four girlfriends at a time. Those women are always pressuring him to get married.

A friend retired and moved to the Villages. He said whenever a single man moves in there, a dozen old ladies all pounce.

So they attract women who want a meal ticket. Congratulation! Why can't they attract women with means?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were socialized to believe that a good life included being coupled up. Many of us have come to the realization that being a couple sucks. I think perhaps 20% of my married friends are still married and happy. Most are just not happy, many are divorced a few widowed.

Very few really want to remarry.

It was not all the great even having a partner during the raising of the kids age. Men are not helpful, they become just another child and we would rather vacation with a friend and their kids.

The whole marriage thing is a sham, congrats you "won the game".

My uncle is 80, and keeps a stable of about four girlfriends at a time. Those women are always pressuring him to get married.

A friend retired and moved to the Villages. He said whenever a single man moves in there, a dozen old ladies all pounce.

Yes, in retirement communities and assisted living facilities there are like 12 women for every man. Because the rest of the men are dead already. Which is pretty depressing, if you're a man.

It is pretty depressing for women as well. I would rather drive off a cliff. However I will go to Switzerland and end in relative serenity for my kids' sake.