WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

[Anonymous]

Op, any updates?

[Anonymous]

I think I read every page and if I recall, TWO coaches of sports teams said they’d want to be told. I’m not saying OP should disregard her daughter’s wishes entirely (though I think if there was any time to teach her that as the parent, your job is to protect her and show her how to stand up for herself by going through the most effective channels when you have a serious problem (no dramatic confrontations with the other girls, not social media nonsense, but the COACH) that will accomplish multiple goals beyond her daughter’s personal stake in this— but will also help any other girl(s) who might being targeted), but damn it tell the coach. I wonder if another poster is correct that there may be additional (but too personally identifying to post) context here affecting OPs decision not to do anything.

[Anonymous]

B*s, that's all. The stars, their moms and the bootlickers.

If they do that to a teammate, I can't imagine what they do to their opponents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, any updates?

Op here. Yes, I have an update to share but it is long and I want collect my thoughts before putting it all down. I promise to get back to you all soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, any updates?

Op here. Yes, I have an update to share but it is long and I want collect my thoughts before putting it all down. I promise to get back to you all soon.

I really hope it all worked out for your daughter. I have been following the story since the beginning and I really feel for what she is going through.

[Anonymous]

I share others interest in the update. But, if you are in the DC area I worry your daughter will be identified. Please don’t give enough info for this to happen. It already seems possible unless you’ve strategically changed some details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, any updates?

Op here. Yes, I have an update to share but it is long and I want collect my thoughts before putting it all down. I promise to get back to you all soon.

NP here's. Please don't share, OP. This is your daughter's story to share. Not yours.

From what I read before giving up, she seems to be handling this and doesn't seem to want involvement from you. I worry that her anonymity will be lost, and that will be on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe so many people are calling this bullying. This is why a lot of people don’t even take the term seriously anymore.

Look, kids do stupid sh*t. They do pranks. I’ve pranked people and I’ve been pranked. At their age they really don’t necessarily understand how a spur of the moment dreamed up joke-prank could be really hurtful but it’s not bullying. They aren’t thinking of the future feelings your daughter would feel. Teens don’t think ahead like that; it’s science. I mean come on. What are we teaching our kids? Every time they get hurt feelings let’s run to mommy who’s going to call everyone within a 20 mile radius?

You’re going to make her look stupid twice getting all these people involved. That is the honest to god truth. I agree with the posters that the best thing to do is laugh it off and rise above. I’ve been on teams were the other girls went I. My bag and did things with my underwear—like that’s humiliating for a preteen/teenage girl!! I didn’t cry to my mom and I sure as sh*t didn’t get the school involved. I laughed about it even though I was really embarrassed. I wasn’t excluded after that. I was still friends with the girls. I am still friends with them 20+ years later.

Oh look.... It's a High School mean girl.

OP, the coach needs to know. Let the coach handle it.

[Anonymous]

If it were the varsity team then a coach would be a good place to go. For a JV team - no unless the coach is a teacher (not something else- at the school. For a JV team with a non-teacher the person to go to is the school disciplinarian - whoever that may be (vice principal?). Have a meeting and let them handle it with the proviso that they need to inform you of what took place.

It is the type of thing that would get kids kicked off a school team but i suspect the season is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I share others interest in the update. But, if you are in the DC area I worry your daughter will be identified. Please don’t give enough info for this to happen. It already seems possible unless you’ve strategically changed some details.

You can ask on Website Feedback for this thread to be deleted. (I will admit that I’ve also been interested in what happened, too.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe so many people are calling this bullying. This is why a lot of people don’t even take the term seriously anymore.

Look, kids do stupid sh*t. They do pranks. I’ve pranked people and I’ve been pranked. At their age they really don’t necessarily understand how a spur of the moment dreamed up joke-prank could be really hurtful but it’s not bullying. They aren’t thinking of the future feelings your daughter would feel. Teens don’t think ahead like that; it’s science. I mean come on. What are we teaching our kids? Every time they get hurt feelings let’s run to mommy who’s going to call everyone within a 20 mile radius?

You’re going to make her look stupid twice getting all these people involved. That is the honest to god truth. I agree with the posters that the best thing to do is laugh it off and rise above. I’ve been on teams were the other girls went I. My bag and did things with my underwear—like that’s humiliating for a preteen/teenage girl!! I didn’t cry to my mom and I sure as sh*t didn’t get the school involved. I laughed about it even though I was really embarrassed. I wasn’t excluded after that. I was still friends with the girls. I am still friends with them 20+ years later.

Oh look.... It's a High School mean girl.

OP, the coach needs to know. Let the coach handle it.

Of course it's bullying, and the worst kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, any updates?

Op here. Yes, I have an update to share but it is long and I want collect my thoughts before putting it all down. I promise to get back to you all soon.

At least tell us whether you decided to bring this to the coach.

[Anonymous]

Wow.

I was left out of a Cub Scout trip to McDonald’s when in second grade. Everyone else knew and had uniforms on all day. Mom had dropped my name by imistske and found me walking home alone and picked me up to be part of group. I still remember the loneliness to this day.

So sorry for your daughter.

It hurts to be sure but it is a painful lesson we will all learn that most of our friends are not real friends

Find a new team

My permission to invite yourself to the parents house and do some violence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow.

I was left out of a Cub Scout trip to McDonald’s when in second grade. Everyone else knew and had uniforms on all day. Mom had dropped my name by imistske and found me walking home alone and picked me up to be part of group. I still remember the loneliness to this day.

So sorry for your daughter.

It hurts to be sure but it is a painful lesson we will all learn that most of our friends are not real friends

Find a new team

My permission to invite yourself to the parents house and do some violence

Sounds like someone is trying to get the thread derailed and then closed. I wonder why..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I share others interest in the update. But, if you are in the DC area I worry your daughter will be identified. Please don’t give enough info for this to happen. It already seems possible unless you’ve strategically changed some details.

You can ask on Website Feedback for this thread to be deleted. (I will admit that I’ve also been interested in what happened, too.)

I already asked Jeff to do that (not OP) but I guess he decided that was for OP to do.