It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

[Anonymous]

Huh? You know you can bri g kids to Europe right? Lol we do it every summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

No one has ever said this to me. This sounds like a crazed fantasy expressed only online by a crazed pro-childrearing person (that's you). Not by normal parents. Much like the crotchfruit talk is expressed only online by crazed child haters. Not by normal childfree people.

Believe it or not, the point still stands. When you brag about your incredible childfree lifestyle and we nod and look past you for anyone else to talk to and mumble something like, "oh that's great, so jealous!" we're not telling you anything other than we don't care but are not as rude as you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh? You know you can bri g kids to Europe right? Lol we do it every summer.

shhh, don't tell the DINKS... they think they get to do things we don't! they need this—they don't have anything else, remember?

[Anonymous]

There's just a lot of self centered people trying to justify their life long immaturity when they use comments like crotch fruit.
They worry that kids will ruin their preconceived ( pardon the expression) notion of what life is- a non stop party. Kids do change lives, but it's really what life is. It really isn't happy hours and trips non stop. Life is complex, complicated, emotional, and connected to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

I wonder if SAHM’s ever think about the messages they are sending their children, regarding men and women’s capabilities. (When they allow themselves to be financially dependent upon another adult, long after their kids need a full time caretaker at home)

It's funny. In all the older couples i know the sahm is the most functional out of the two spouses. I mean physically, financially, in terms of logic and practical skills. My dad would be 100% lost without my mom, my mom would be 100% fine without my dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's just a lot of self centered people trying to justify their life long immaturity when they use comments like crotch fruit.
They worry that kids will ruin their preconceived ( pardon the expression) notion of what life is- a non stop party. Kids do change lives, but it's really what life is. It really isn't happy hours and trips non stop. Life is complex, complicated, emotional, and connected to others.

+1

Most DINKS are just emotionally immature... good for them -- must be fun (for awhile) to live like that. But nobody thinks you "did it right".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

I highly doubt that anyone has ever said these things to your face. If they have, you should just turn on your heel, walk away and not speak to them again.

Thanks, I don't need advice from you. But if the question is, are people with kids ACTUALLY jealous of DINKS, the answer from me is absolutely not, even if I'm occasionally polite to the rude ones who won't shut up about it.

This thread absolutely proves otherwise. 😆😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

No one has ever said this to me. This sounds like a crazed fantasy expressed only online by a crazed pro-childrearing person (that's you). Not by normal parents. Much like the crotchfruit talk is expressed only online by crazed child haters. Not by normal childfree people.

Believe it or not, the point still stands. When you brag about your incredible childfree lifestyle and we nod and look past you for anyone else to talk to and mumble something like, "oh that's great, so jealous!" we're not telling you anything other than we don't care but are not as rude as you.

Isn’t the opposite true? People without kids will politely listen to mothers ramble on about their children, even when they couldn’t care less. The world would be boring if we all made the same choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's just a lot of self centered people trying to justify their life long immaturity when they use comments like crotch fruit.
They worry that kids will ruin their preconceived ( pardon the expression) notion of what life is- a non stop party. Kids do change lives, but it's really what life is. It really isn't happy hours and trips non stop. Life is complex, complicated, emotional, and connected to others.

Honestly it's really only parents who think DINKs live lives of nonstop partying. Maybe at 30 - but we all grow up. We, the DINKs among you, also have complex, complicated, emotional lives with connections to others. I know you find that hard to imagine, but AMA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

No one has ever said this to me. This sounds like a crazed fantasy expressed only online by a crazed pro-childrearing person (that's you). Not by normal parents. Much like the crotchfruit talk is expressed only online by crazed child haters. Not by normal childfree people.

Believe it or not, the point still stands. When you brag about your incredible childfree lifestyle and we nod and look past you for anyone else to talk to and mumble something like, "oh that's great, so jealous!" we're not telling you anything other than we don't care but are not as rude as you.

Isn’t the opposite true? People without kids will politely listen to mothers ramble on about their children, even when they couldn’t care less. The world would be boring if we all made the same choices.

Look - as a DINK, I DO care about other people's kids. I don't relate to every second of what you're talking about - and no, I don't care about all of it. But we care about people. We have deep emotional connections with people of all ages and in all kinds of families. Why do you all seem to think that we're just walking around in disco clothes always looking for the next bar?

[Anonymous]

I think I’m guilty of saying this to DINKs too, and it’s usually because I’ve done something dumb like asking if they have kids, and they say no, and then I say something like “so you get to live the life we all dream of living” to try to distract from the awkwardness of my asking. I don’t know why I say it. I am jealous only of their ability to proceed in their careers in an easier more focused manner, climbing the success ladder without having to deal with real life getting in the way. But I love my real life too much to wish I didn’t actually have kids. I do feel like my life would be empty and shallow, though I know that those without kids often make huge impressions that matter to so many. But not everyone can be Oprah or Dolly Parton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I’m guilty of saying this to DINKs too, and it’s usually because I’ve done something dumb like asking if they have kids, and they say no, and then I say something like “so you get to live the life we all dream of living” to try to distract from the awkwardness of my asking. I don’t know why I say it. I am jealous only of their ability to proceed in their careers in an easier more focused manner, climbing the success ladder without having to deal with real life getting in the way. But I love my real life too much to wish I didn’t actually have kids. I do feel like my life would be empty and shallow, though I know that those without kids often make huge impressions that matter to so many. But not everyone can be Oprah or Dolly Parton.

It doesn't have to be that awkward. Lots of people ask me if I have kids. I say no. Then we talk about other things - like their kids, or whatever the f else we feel like talking about. It's truly, truly not some fall through the floor thing. It's a normal question, and you don't have to be weird and awkward in response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I’m guilty of saying this to DINKs too, and it’s usually because I’ve done something dumb like asking if they have kids, and they say no, and then I say something like “so you get to live the life we all dream of living” to try to distract from the awkwardness of my asking. I don’t know why I say it. I am jealous only of their ability to proceed in their careers in an easier more focused manner, climbing the success ladder without having to deal with real life getting in the way. But I love my real life too much to wish I didn’t actually have kids. I do feel like my life would be empty and shallow, though I know that those without kids often make huge impressions that matter to so many. But not everyone can be Oprah or Dolly Parton.

One needn't be a celebrity to positively affect people's lives. Just like most childless people live mundane lives, so too do most parents. Check out the family relationships forum- or better yet, Reddit or TikTok- to see that many parents are raising anxious children traumatized by how their Gen X and Xennial parents raised them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

I wonder if SAHM’s ever think about the messages they are sending their children, regarding men and women’s capabilities. (When they allow themselves to be financially dependent upon another adult, long after their kids need a full time caretaker at home)

It's funny. In all the older couples i know the sahm is the most functional out of the two spouses. I mean physically, financially, in terms of logic and practical skills. My dad would be 100% lost without my mom, my mom would be 100% fine without my dad.

That's definitely not what I've observed, but I'm glad their 50 year vacations didn't rot your friends' brains like so many other SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I’m guilty of saying this to DINKs too, and it’s usually because I’ve done something dumb like asking if they have kids, and they say no, and then I say something like “so you get to live the life we all dream of living” to try to distract from the awkwardness of my asking. I don’t know why I say it. I am jealous only of their ability to proceed in their careers in an easier more focused manner, climbing the success ladder without having to deal with real life getting in the way. But I love my real life too much to wish I didn’t actually have kids. I do feel like my life would be empty and shallow, though I know that those without kids often make huge impressions that matter to so many. But not everyone can be Oprah or Dolly Parton.

It doesn't have to be that awkward. Lots of people ask me if I have kids. I say no. Then we talk about other things - like their kids, or whatever the f else we feel like talking about. It's truly, truly not some fall through the floor thing. It's a normal question, and you don't have to be weird and awkward in response.

The only thing that's awkward is the repeated use of the term "crotchfruit" and the DINKS' insistence that occasional polite remarks are some kind of full-throated statement of regret over ever having kids.