It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow you all, seriously everyone, DINKS and SAHMs and working moms and childless by choice and everyone else, on this thread sounds SO happy and fulfilled in their lives.

/s

+1

I posted a few pages back that the only people upset about this stuff are unhappy with their own choices.

It’s mind boggling how many angry people are out there hating on others because of their reproductive and employment decisions.

I have 3 kids and a full time job. I am happy. I hope others find their happiness in whatever form that may be. Kids. No kids. Big career. Part time career. SAH. And none of it has any bearing on my life choices.

+1,000

I don't give a flying f#@% what DCUM thinks about the choices I've made because I'm happy. Whether you think I should have put my kids in daycare or stayed home with them is of no importance to me. You do you. What I did (we did) worked for me (us).

People who look for justification for their choices are bound to be unhappy because if DCUM is any indicator of the real world, there are generally lots of people on both side of any debate.

[Anonymous]

Every choice has trade offs, no one can have it all and do it all. If anyone thinks so, they are using their delusions to justify their choices. Having kids, not having kids, having one kid, having five kids, being career oriented, being family oriented, being flexible, each choice is different but none is perfect. Humans can't have perfect, just find what seems to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

I wonder if SAHM’s ever think about the messages they are sending their children, regarding men and women’s capabilities. (When they allow themselves to be financially dependent upon another adult, long after their kids need a full time caretaker at home)

Not everything is about money, PP.

It is not about money, it is about independence. Being able to carry yourself through the world as an adult, not be cared for like a child.

And apparently you believe independence=bringing home a paycheck? So it IS about money to you. Not everyone sees life that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people on here are nuts. Your life is empty if you have no children? Sorry your life is so boring you couldn’t figure out something else to do.

You are on a PARENTING BOARD. Most people use or found this board because they are PARENTS (it's in the name). What made you decide to post on a board whose audience is comprised mostly of parents, because the site references "moms and dads"?

Did you not think that most people on a PARENTING BOARD are parents and value that aspect of their lives?

Maybe go back to your subreddit for the childfree?

The Internet is for everyone, and this is the OFF-TOPIC forum.
Literally half of the forums on this site have nothing to do with parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people on here are nuts. Your life is empty if you have no children? Sorry your life is so boring you couldn’t figure out something else to do.

You are on a PARENTING BOARD. Most people use or found this board because they are PARENTS (it's in the name). What made you decide to post on a board whose audience is comprised mostly of parents, because the site references "moms and dads"?

Did you not think that most people on a PARENTING BOARD are parents and value that aspect of their lives?

Maybe go back to your subreddit for the childfree?

The Internet is for everyone, and this is the OFF-TOPIC forum.
Literally half of the forums on this site have nothing to do with parenting.

Right?

It is like the parents have never ventured into the thousands of posts that have NOTHING to do with parenting. They are SO hung up on the title. Can’t get past it. They keep muttering, “why are you on OUR site ?”

[Anonymous]

Most people here need to take a deep breath, be happy with the choices they made, and be grateful that they had the choice.

There are many women in the world who have no choice but to have children, and no choice in when they have them and with whom. There are many women who want children but are unable to have them. There are many women who would like to stay home with their children but can't afford to.

I didn't have a choice in this and life is not easy. I do have a choice in how to treat others, and I try to be kind to everyone. Most of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people here need to take a deep breath, be happy with the choices they made, and be grateful that they had the choice.

There are many women in the world who have no choice but to have children, and no choice in when they have them and with whom. There are many women who want children but are unable to have them. There are many women who would like to stay home with their children but can't afford to.

I didn't have a choice in this and life is not easy. I do have a choice in how to treat others, and I try to be kind to everyone. Most of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

You missed many women want to work but can’t.

[Anonymous]

My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Truthfully, from the bottom of my heart, I pity DINKs. They have no idea what they are missing out on. I can't imagine the depth my life would lose without having my children in it. And no matter how hard I tried I wouldn't be able to explain it... It's something you have to live through to appreciate.

But I would never say that in a million years to someone without kids. So you may be hearing from people who regret their kids and that's a shame for them. But please know that there are a ton of us that don't feel that way. We're just socially aware enough to not bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Truthfully, from the bottom of my heart, I pity DINKs. They have no idea what they are missing out on. I can't imagine the depth my life would lose without having my children in it. And no matter how hard I tried I wouldn't be able to explain it... It's something you have to live through to appreciate.

But I would never say that in a million years to someone without kids. So you may be hearing from people who regret their kids and that's a shame for them. But please know that there are a ton of us that don't feel that way. We're just socially aware enough to not bring it up.

It's good that you don't say anything, but there's really no need to pity them unless you happen to know that they wanted children but couldn't have them. If they chose not to, it's because it's what they wanted. People are different and it's kind of presumptuous and arrogant to assume that everyone is like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

I highly doubt that anyone has ever said these things to your face. If they have, you should just turn on your heel, walk away and not speak to them again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

I highly doubt that anyone has ever said these things to your face. If they have, you should just turn on your heel, walk away and not speak to them again.

Thanks, I don't need advice from you. But if the question is, are people with kids ACTUALLY jealous of DINKS, the answer from me is absolutely not, even if I'm occasionally polite to the rude ones who won't shut up about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

No one has ever said this to me. This sounds like a crazed fantasy expressed only online by a crazed pro-childrearing person (that's you). Not by normal parents. Much like the crotchfruit talk is expressed only online by crazed child haters. Not by normal childfree people.