It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

I wonder if SAHM’s ever think about the messages they are sending their children, regarding men and women’s capabilities. (When they allow themselves to be financially dependent upon another adult, long after their kids need a full time caretaker at home)

It's funny. In all the older couples i know the sahm is the most functional out of the two spouses. I mean physically, financially, in terms of logic and practical skills. My dad would be 100% lost without my mom, my mom would be 100% fine without my dad.

Not true in my house.

[Anonymous]

When we get to Logan’s Run time, my kids will collect the DINKs first. They will be easy pickings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I’m guilty of saying this to DINKs too, and it’s usually because I’ve done something dumb like asking if they have kids, and they say no, and then I say something like “so you get to live the life we all dream of living” to try to distract from the awkwardness of my asking. I don’t know why I say it. I am jealous only of their ability to proceed in their careers in an easier more focused manner, climbing the success ladder without having to deal with real life getting in the way. But I love my real life too much to wish I didn’t actually have kids. I do feel like my life would be empty and shallow, though I know that those without kids often make huge impressions that matter to so many. But not everyone can be Oprah or Dolly Parton.

It doesn't have to be that awkward. Lots of people ask me if I have kids. I say no. Then we talk about other things - like their kids, or whatever the f else we feel like talking about. It's truly, truly not some fall through the floor thing. It's a normal question, and you don't have to be weird and awkward in response.

The only thing that's awkward is the repeated use of the term "crotchfruit" and the DINKS' insistence that occasional polite remarks are some kind of full-throated statement of regret over ever having kids.

I've never once said that in my life, I've never heard anyone else saying that - and I agree that OP is a weirdo but the people on this thread are seriously unhinged with what you project onto people who don't have kids. We're just regular people, living among you, doing our normal thing. Some people are extremes but most people are just trying to get through another day and have a nice dinner, just like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I’m guilty of saying this to DINKs too, and it’s usually because I’ve done something dumb like asking if they have kids, and they say no, and then I say something like “so you get to live the life we all dream of living” to try to distract from the awkwardness of my asking. I don’t know why I say it. I am jealous only of their ability to proceed in their careers in an easier more focused manner, climbing the success ladder without having to deal with real life getting in the way. But I love my real life too much to wish I didn’t actually have kids. I do feel like my life would be empty and shallow, though I know that those without kids often make huge impressions that matter to so many. But not everyone can be Oprah or Dolly Parton.

It doesn't have to be that awkward. Lots of people ask me if I have kids. I say no. Then we talk about other things - like their kids, or whatever the f else we feel like talking about. It's truly, truly not some fall through the floor thing. It's a normal question, and you don't have to be weird and awkward in response.

The only thing that's awkward is the repeated use of the term "crotchfruit" and the DINKS' insistence that occasional polite remarks are some kind of full-throated statement of regret over ever having kids.

I've never once said that in my life, I've never heard anyone else saying that - and I agree that OP is a weirdo but the people on this thread are seriously unhinged with what you project onto people who don't have kids. We're just regular people, living among you, doing our normal thing. Some people are extremes but most people are just trying to get through another day and have a nice dinner, just like you.

DP

Nice try, but it's clear you're lying. Everyone knows DINKs never eat dinner- only brunch. Just like how everyone knows the younger generations would be able to buy a house at 24 if they'd just work harder and stop eating avocado toast.

[Anonymous]

Have not read the whole thread, but OP, I frequently comment positively and politely on things people tell me about their life, even if it is not what I would want to do myself. Like this:

Person: “I am hiking the Appalachian Trail this summer!”
Me: “How awesome! I have heard that is a great experience!”

Person: “I am doing a humanitarian trip to a third world country.”
Me: “That is amazing. That is on my bucket list, for sure.”

So if you tell me about your DINK weekend, I too am going to comment not 100% truthfully on how amazing it all sounds to me. But sometimes, in all honesty, I feel like you are going on and on about the most basic things that seem simple and trite to me, and I feel sad that these things seem to fill your life.

[Anonymous]

I don't even understand the point of DINKs. I'd rather just be single / serial monogamy.

[Anonymous]

Your life sounds empty, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have not read the whole thread, but OP, I frequently comment positively and politely on things people tell me about their life, even if it is not what I would want to do myself. Like this:

Person: “I am hiking the Appalachian Trail this summer!”
Me: “How awesome! I have heard that is a great experience!”

Person: “I am doing a humanitarian trip to a third world country.”
Me: “That is amazing. That is on my bucket list, for sure.”

So if you tell me about your DINK weekend, I too am going to comment not 100% truthfully on how amazing it all sounds to me. But sometimes, in all honesty, I feel like you are going on and on about the most basic things that seem simple and trite to me, and I feel sad that these things seem to fill your life.

Why would you go to the level of saying something you have no desire to do is “on your bucket list?”

You must be a very inauthentic person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

I wonder if SAHM’s ever think about the messages they are sending their children, regarding men and women’s capabilities. (When they allow themselves to be financially dependent upon another adult, long after their kids need a full time caretaker at home)

It's funny. In all the older couples i know the sahm is the most functional out of the two spouses. I mean physically, financially, in terms of logic and practical skills. My dad would be 100% lost without my mom, my mom would be 100% fine without my dad.

Not true in my house.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

I wonder if SAHM’s ever think about the messages they are sending their children, regarding men and women’s capabilities. (When they allow themselves to be financially dependent upon another adult, long after their kids need a full time caretaker at home)

It's funny. In all the older couples i know the sahm is the most functional out of the two spouses. I mean physically, financially, in terms of logic and practical skills. My dad would be 100% lost without my mom, my mom would be 100% fine without my dad.

Your dad is just dumb. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's just a lot of self centered people trying to justify their life long immaturity when they use comments like crotch fruit.
They worry that kids will ruin their preconceived ( pardon the expression) notion of what life is- a non stop party. Kids do change lives, but it's really what life is. It really isn't happy hours and trips non stop. Life is complex, complicated, emotional, and connected to others.

+1

Most DINKS are just emotionally immature... good for them -- must be fun (for awhile) to live like that. But nobody thinks you "did it right".

Sorry you hate your life. Choose better in you next life. 😀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have not read the whole thread, but OP, I frequently comment positively and politely on things people tell me about their life, even if it is not what I would want to do myself. Like this:

Person: “I am hiking the Appalachian Trail this summer!”
Me: “How awesome! I have heard that is a great experience!”

Person: “I am doing a humanitarian trip to a third world country.”
Me: “That is amazing. That is on my bucket list, for sure.”

So if you tell me about your DINK weekend, I too am going to comment not 100% truthfully on how amazing it all sounds to me. But sometimes, in all honesty, I feel like you are going on and on about the most basic things that seem simple and trite to me, and I feel sad that these things seem to fill your life.

Not a word of this is authentic; there’s no way you’re this vapid.

Do you make up stories between changing poopy diapers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have not read the whole thread, but OP, I frequently comment positively and politely on things people tell me about their life, even if it is not what I would want to do myself. Like this:

Person: “I am hiking the Appalachian Trail this summer!”
Me: “How awesome! I have heard that is a great experience!”

Person: “I am doing a humanitarian trip to a third world country.”
Me: “That is amazing. That is on my bucket list, for sure.”

So if you tell me about your DINK weekend, I too am going to comment not 100% truthfully on how amazing it all sounds to me. But sometimes, in all honesty, I feel like you are going on and on about the most basic things that seem simple and trite to me, and I feel sad that these things seem to fill your life.

Why would you go to the level of saying something you have no desire to do is “on your bucket list?”

You must be a very inauthentic person.

DP. The PP might consider me inauthentic as I would say these things to someone. Things that I do not mean but would hopefully make them think I care. Why not? It is just polite chit chat to me and nothing more. I am extremely authentic and honest with people I care about though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

We don't have any tvs in the house, so I don't watch soap operas. I exercise, read, plan our travels (we take at least two international trip with kids each year), I cook from scratch (my kids never ate Gerber baby food or any other jarred food). My kids are in high school, college and after college now and I contributed amazing healthy (no mental or physical health issues) human beings to this society. Don't feel guilty at all. Feel very proud of them.

Plan your "travels"?

It's so hard to tell whether or not this poster is a troll...

Look you have your 9-5 but you have no idea how much time it takes to plan two international trips per year.

I have two kids AND I am a perfectionist and meticulous planner of trips... because I love to plan trips. We go to Europe and Asia.

So I can only assume your comment was sarcastic, because frankly planning my international trips is the least laborious thing I do in my life

You bury yourself in distraction, devoting yourself to work and "meticulously" planning vacations, instead of devoting yourself fully to a woman's highest calling- motherhood. Sad. Not as sad as if you'd never had children. But still tragic and pitiable, for both you and your children.

Why is parenting the highest calling for women but not men?

1950 called, they would like their mindset back.

If it is not misogyny to say that a woman's life is pitiable and empty without children, it is not misogyny to say that motherhood is the highest calling for women. Those viewpoints are in the same line of thinking. Why for women and not men? Well, just as humans were designed to reproduce, and if you don't do so your life is empty, women have a far greater role in reproduction, and if the woman doesn't devote herself fully to that, she has fallen short in her life's purpose.

So childless Mother Teresa's life was pitiable and empty, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg did not devote herself to her life's highest calling by being there full-time for her children.

Oh, now I get it.

Your life has had more meaning than that of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mother Teresa.

Women’s most vital organ is their uterus, not their brain. Got it.

And you are influencing the next generation. What could possibly go wrong.

I'm glad you understand. That's exactly what I'm saying.

As many in this thread have pointed out from the first page, women without children have empty, meaningless lives. Mother Teresa, Sonia Sotomayor, Harper Lee, Joan of Arc, Rosa Parks, Betty White- they never knew a life filled with purpose, although perhaps they believed they did, and others around them were likely willing to support their delusion by saying encouraging things to these women while disguising their secret pity for them. Very sad cases.

Women like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Marie Curie, and Sojourner Truth lived meaningful lives, although their lives would have had far greater meaning had they focused solely on the thing that makes life meaningful- their children- instead of engaging in work outside the home (including the work done in bondage, in the case of Mrs. Truth). Of special note in this category are women like Dorothy Vaughan and Amy Coney Barrett, who, though they strayed from their highest calling by pursuing a career, at least had many, many children to amplify the meaning of their lives.

The women who have the most meaningful, purposeful, fulfilling lives are those who have children and don't split their attention by having a career. Yes, women like myself. And of course, of special note in this category are women like Hilaria Baldwin- a woman whose full love and focus goes to her seven children.

This is simple logic, simple math- Meaningfulness Math, you could call it.

I think they finally understood what you are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children make my life much harder, they're very expensive and I spend a lot of my time doing things I don't want to. Sometimes, they're REAL a-holes.

But they are also the two best people I've ever met, and I'm very happy to have them around. More vacations would be nice, but I still have no regrets.

I can't explain it and don't expect people without kids to understand, but they should also get that when I politely tell them how luck they are, I don't really mean it. I'm just being nice.

Maybe just...don't lie to people.
Are these people asking you what you think of their lives? I doubt it. If you're randomly lying to them that they're lucky for no reason, you are NOT being nice. You are being passive aggressive. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.

DINKS very casually tell you that your children are "crotch fruit", deride you as breeders, complain about kids they have had to see in public places, mock you for your future tuition payments and then talk AT LENGTH about their vacation plans. Instead of shoving them away and shouting "I LOVE MY CHILDREN", I nod politely as I look for someone else to talk to, and say "Oh you're so lucky to get to travel that much."

NO one is lying or being passive-aggressive, it's a conversational way to politely deflect the eternal bores that DINKs tend to be.

No one has ever said this to me. This sounds like a crazed fantasy expressed only online by a crazed pro-childrearing person (that's you). Not by normal parents. Much like the crotchfruit talk is expressed only online by crazed child haters. Not by normal childfree people.

+1