It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To each their own. Would never trade having kids at an older age for anything in this world. Never really known true happiness before kids, but you would not understand what I mean unless you have kids. And I was in no shape to be a good parent until well into my 30s.

It is a privilege to be mature at early 20 and to have financial means to raise kids in your 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who thinks these people pitty the childless may he kidding themselves. There are plenty of parents that regret having kids, and are willing to tell others. I would never tell my kids but I totally regret my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks these people pitty the childless may he kidding themselves. There are plenty of parents that regret having kids, and are willing to tell others. I would never tell my kids but I totally regret my kids.

You are not regretting having kids, you are just a misanthrope without a soul, likely, or a troll, more likely. People really don't regret their kids. It’s not a real thing. They regret instances, days, superficial things that are transient but not their actual kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the title says. We don’t hate kids or anything, but we have encountered a number of instances over the last several years of our close friends and coworkers blurting out loud with very frank off the cuff remarks that we did it right and that they basically regret having their kids due to stress, finances, and lack of freedom. One coworker recently asked what we were doing for vacation this year, and I told her that we are going to Europe. She let out a loooong sigh and said, “I wish I were you and did it right.” I didn’t know how to respond and said nothing. Another family friend always, alllllways talks about how much better off he thinks he would have been if he didn’t have his two sons (one has a disability that requires intense care). I have no doubt he loves his sons, but I think he is definitely convinced his life would have been better (and definitely easier) without them.


But what is with so many parents seemingly regretting having their children these days? And not only that, but blurting the quiet part out loud is now acceptable? It’s also uncomfortable to tell us this simply because we don’t have kids. I don’t know what to say to you when you tell me you regret the biggest decision you made in your life, which is to produce another human.

I know zero people who regret having kids. Bizarre that seems to be a thing in your world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the title says. We don’t hate kids or anything, but we have encountered a number of instances over the last several years of our close friends and coworkers blurting out loud with very frank off the cuff remarks that we did it right and that they basically regret having their kids due to stress, finances, and lack of freedom. One coworker recently asked what we were doing for vacation this year, and I told her that we are going to Europe. She let out a loooong sigh and said, “I wish I were you and did it right.” I didn’t know how to respond and said nothing. Another family friend always, alllllways talks about how much better off he thinks he would have been if he didn’t have his two sons (one has a disability that requires intense care). I have no doubt he loves his sons, but I think he is definitely convinced his life would have been better (and definitely easier) without them.


But what is with so many parents seemingly regretting having their children these days? And not only that, but blurting the quiet part out loud is now acceptable? It’s also uncomfortable to tell us this simply because we don’t have kids. I don’t know what to say to you when you tell me you regret the biggest decision you made in your life, which is to produce another human.

I know zero people who regret having kids. Bizarre that seems to be a thing in your world.

+1
Although I do make comments not that dissimilar to childless people who talk about tons of travel or especially retiring early. I mean it about as much as weather chit chat - just a thing to say. I love my kids and cannot fathom a life without them being a happy one.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I secretly pity my friends without kids and envy my friends who have 2 (we have an only child). I would never want my childless friends to know I pity them, but I do. Being a parent is exhausting but I would not in a million years not want to have a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people say this, they’re usually just messing with you or preemptively trying to make you feel better about your childlessness. No one actually thinks you did it right. The friend you mentioned with the disabled son just sounds like a loser though.

I agree. I like cuddling my soft little baby every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the title says. We don’t hate kids or anything, but we have encountered a number of instances over the last several years of our close friends and coworkers blurting out loud with very frank off the cuff remarks that we did it right and that they basically regret having their kids due to stress, finances, and lack of freedom. One coworker recently asked what we were doing for vacation this year, and I told her that we are going to Europe. She let out a loooong sigh and said, “I wish I were you and did it right.” I didn’t know how to respond and said nothing. Another family friend always, alllllways talks about how much better off he thinks he would have been if he didn’t have his two sons (one has a disability that requires intense care). I have no doubt he loves his sons, but I think he is definitely convinced his life would have been better (and definitely easier) without them.


But what is with so many parents seemingly regretting having their children these days? And not only that, but blurting the quiet part out loud is now acceptable? It’s also uncomfortable to tell us this simply because we don’t have kids. I don’t know what to say to you when you tell me you regret the biggest decision you made in your life, which is to produce another human.

Don’t worry; most people feel sorry for you but are too polite to say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people say this, they’re usually just messing with you or preemptively trying to make you feel better about your childlessness. No one actually thinks you did it right. The friend you mentioned with the disabled son just sounds like a loser though.

I agree. I like cuddling my soft little baby every day.

You know they don’t stay babies, right?

[Anonymous]

I don’t feel sorry for DINKs but also am quite happy having my two kids. Everyone should do what works for them.

This said, I don’t think majority of those comments are indicative of anything but politeness and conversation making. If someone told me “I am going for a month long trip through Europe” or similar, I can very well see myself responding “jealous, can’t go much with kids” or similar but it’s really just a nice thing to say to the other person. I am happy for them but not jealous whatsoever. People say things they don’t mean all the time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having kids isn't that great. I don't regret becoming a parent but I think I would have been happier childless. I think it’s just become ok to say this out loud. Enjoy the DINK life.

+1

[Anonymous]

The childless people I know from my generation are not happy people.

In their 20s and 30s they yelled from the rooftops they didn't want kids.

Once they were in their 40s they panicked and tried, but it was too late.

They regret their earlier choices, but some things can't get walked back.

[Anonymous]

I think people are either trying to validate your choice to be kind or expressing passing doubts/frustration with you because it feels safe since you have no kids and don't want them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people say this, they’re usually just messing with you or preemptively trying to make you feel better about your childlessness. No one actually thinks you did it right. The friend you mentioned with the disabled son just sounds like a loser though.

I agree. I like cuddling my soft little baby every day.

You know they don’t stay babies, right?

Yes, I know. I also have a teen and my ‘baby’ is six years old.

[Anonymous]

I am amazed how OP has mental capacity to think about these little things.