Tell me about adoption

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

I think it would be best if adoption were very rare. As it is now, it is greatly declined in the past 20 years. More mothers are keeping their babies.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2021/10/adopt-baby-cost-process-hard/620258/

As for women who are giving up their children today, we know that at least some of them are pressured or coerced. We know that at least some of them were in temporary bad situations (lost job, lost partner, etc) and that they regretted the decision either immediately or very soon after.

And we know that adoptees suffer many losses, which they weather with varying degrees of success.

So, some adoptions may be unavoidable, because a child really does need parents and cannot have that from her biological family. But it seems that many adoptions ARE avoidable, involving birth mothers who want their babies but are taken advantage of in a corrupt system that profits from their loss. That's what I would like to see end.

Perhaps we aren’t so far apart then. I do agree that no one should be forced or coerced to place their children for adoption (although I also think that sometimes mothers are coerced to raise kids they don’t want to and that’s a problem also — and those kids also suffer).

Not the topic. And, some birthparents don't want to parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

This has nothing to do with the topic.

It has EVERYTHING to do with the topic. OP said “tell me about adoption.” We are telling her the truth. The vast majority of adoptions of healthy infants are corrupt, coercive, and damaging. The industry is essentially a baby selling operation with no benefit to the mother and layers and layers of profit for the people who exploit her, with one happy ending: the adoptees getting what they want with no consideration of the people who are hurt in the process.

That’s what OP needs to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

This has nothing to do with the topic.

It has EVERYTHING to do with the topic. OP said “tell me about adoption.” We are telling her the truth. The vast majority of adoptions of healthy infants are corrupt, coercive, and damaging. The industry is essentially a baby selling operation with no benefit to the mother and layers and layers of profit for the people who exploit her, with one happy ending: the adoptees getting what they want with no consideration of the people who are hurt in the process.

That’s what OP needs to know.

Sorry, I meant the *adopters* getting what they want. Adoptees have no say in the matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

The alternative to adoption of healthy infants is not FOSTER CARE. It is healthy infants being raised by their own families. With proper access to health care and abortion.l care, no woman should be forced to be pregnant if she doesn’t want to be. That is a fixable problem. Women who do want to parent their infants should receive the support, health care, day care, and financial assistance to launch them into healthy parenthood.

It is NOT an outdated concept that most women relinquish their healthy infants because they are poor. That is the #1 reason by far. It is coercive and predatory to take children from people in poverty, brainwashing the mothers into believing that letting go of their babies is the only way they can truly love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

The alternative to adoption of healthy infants is not FOSTER CARE. It is healthy infants being raised by their own families. With proper access to health care and abortion.l care, no woman should be forced to be pregnant if she doesn’t want to be. That is a fixable problem. Women who do want to parent their infants should receive the support, health care, day care, and financial assistance to launch them into healthy parenthood.

It is NOT an outdated concept that most women relinquish their healthy infants because they are poor. That is the #1 reason by far. It is coercive and predatory to take children from people in poverty, brainwashing the mothers into believing that letting go of their babies is the only way they can truly love them.

+1 I agree. This situation is heartbreaking and good for no one except the adoptive parents, who meet their goal of having a kid no matter what it takes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

The alternative to adoption of healthy infants is not FOSTER CARE. It is healthy infants being raised by their own families. With proper access to health care and abortion.l care, no woman should be forced to be pregnant if she doesn’t want to be. That is a fixable problem. Women who do want to parent their infants should receive the support, health care, day care, and financial assistance to launch them into healthy parenthood.

It is NOT an outdated concept that most women relinquish their healthy infants because they are poor. That is the #1 reason by far. It is coercive and predatory to take children from people in poverty, brainwashing the mothers into believing that letting go of their babies is the only way they can truly love them.

Newsflash, we have all those things. And, yet, some women, still don't want to parent. What you are saying is we should force mothers to parent regardless of the situation? That is abusive in and of itself. And, not everyone qualifies for those supports if they don't have the right documentation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

The alternative to adoption of healthy infants is not FOSTER CARE. It is healthy infants being raised by their own families. With proper access to health care and abortion.l care, no woman should be forced to be pregnant if she doesn’t want to be. That is a fixable problem. Women who do want to parent their infants should receive the support, health care, day care, and financial assistance to launch them into healthy parenthood.

It is NOT an outdated concept that most women relinquish their healthy infants because they are poor. That is the #1 reason by far. It is coercive and predatory to take children from people in poverty, brainwashing the mothers into believing that letting go of their babies is the only way they can truly love them.

Newsflash, we have all those things. And, yet, some women, still don't want to parent. What you are saying is we should force mothers to parent regardless of the situation? That is abusive in and of itself. And, not everyone qualifies for those supports if they don't have the right documentation.

NP. We do not in fact have those things. We have a tattered, state-by-state, social safety net that is an embarrassment compared to other developed countries. There is no paid family leave, for example. Healthcare is extremely difficult to access, both to get signed up and to actually use at points of service. There is no state-funded daycare. Financial existence exists, but barriers to entry and restrictions on how WIC and TANF are administered can be real barriers to access.

Documentation should not be an issue, given that babies born in the US are by definition US citizens.

[Anonymous]

^^ financial assistance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

The alternative to adoption of healthy infants is not FOSTER CARE. It is healthy infants being raised by their own families. With proper access to health care and abortion.l care, no woman should be forced to be pregnant if she doesn’t want to be. That is a fixable problem. Women who do want to parent their infants should receive the support, health care, day care, and financial assistance to launch them into healthy parenthood.

It is NOT an outdated concept that most women relinquish their healthy infants because they are poor. That is the #1 reason by far. It is coercive and predatory to take children from people in poverty, brainwashing the mothers into believing that letting go of their babies is the only way they can truly love them.

Newsflash, we have all those things. And, yet, some women, still don't want to parent. What you are saying is we should force mothers to parent regardless of the situation? That is abusive in and of itself. And, not everyone qualifies for those supports if they don't have the right documentation.

What? In what dreamworld do you live in?

We have none of those things. Zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

The alternative to adoption of healthy infants is not FOSTER CARE. It is healthy infants being raised by their own families. With proper access to health care and abortion.l care, no woman should be forced to be pregnant if she doesn’t want to be. That is a fixable problem. Women who do want to parent their infants should receive the support, health care, day care, and financial assistance to launch them into healthy parenthood.

It is NOT an outdated concept that most women relinquish their healthy infants because they are poor. That is the #1 reason by far. It is coercive and predatory to take children from people in poverty, brainwashing the mothers into believing that letting go of their babies is the only way they can truly love them.

I'm talking about babies being born today. If women don't have access to health care, day care, financial assistance..that is a systemic problem that we can work to fix, but since it won't be fixed today, what do you suggest we do with a baby that is born today to a woman who has chosen to place her child for adoption? Tell her no, because some people think she is being coerced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

The alternative to adoption of healthy infants is not FOSTER CARE. It is healthy infants being raised by their own families. With proper access to health care and abortion.l care, no woman should be forced to be pregnant if she doesn’t want to be. That is a fixable problem. Women who do want to parent their infants should receive the support, health care, day care, and financial assistance to launch them into healthy parenthood.

It is NOT an outdated concept that most women relinquish their healthy infants because they are poor. That is the #1 reason by far. It is coercive and predatory to take children from people in poverty, brainwashing the mothers into believing that letting go of their babies is the only way they can truly love them.

I'm talking about babies being born today. If women don't have access to health care, day care, financial assistance..that is a systemic problem that we can work to fix, but since it won't be fixed today, what do you suggest we do with a baby that is born today to a woman who has chosen to place her child for adoption? Tell her no, because some people think she is being coerced?

She very well may have been coerced and has been told there is no other option. That is also a systemic problem. But that won't get fixed until the support system gets fixed. And since the adoption industry has lobbyists, lawyers and money behind it, guess how long it would take before the support systems allowing parents to keep their children are improved.

[Anonymous]

We adopted DD from foster care. The reason DD was in foster care was that her biological mother simply didn't feed her daughter enough and left her child on its own for many hours at a time. It saddens me to think of a baby frequently left hungry and alone. To give you an idea, DD weighed the same amount at 4 months than she did at birth. Money wasn't the issue. This was a middle class family. A doctor and her/his staff seized DD from the biological mother at the four month check up. What pushed the decision was the biological mother's lack of concern for her own daughter. The biological mother was charged with cruelty. DD then spent 10 days in hospital after her seizure, where she was helped to overcome Failure to Thrive. Even after all that had happened the biological mother was given the opportunity to resume being a fulltime mother. But she had no interest as evidenced by missed appointments and lack of engagement in a children and family services program. PP has to understand that not every biological mother wants to mother their child or is good enough at it that the child isn't in danger. It is sad but true. (DD is now a happy and healthy 3rd grader). No money changed hands and the biological mother wasn't coerced. The biological father didn't step in, but had the option. Adoption was the best outcome for this child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was already on the fence about adoption because of the experiences of some adoptees who are close to me, but after reading this thread and learning more, I am feeling adamantly opposed to it. I hope there will be big changes.

It's unbelievable that adoption still widely enjoys a good reputation, of providing a better life, etc, when it is actually so sordid, corrupt and toxic.

I don’t understand your point of view. Do you think the alternative of foster care is better? Because that’s what happens when the adoption option is gone. You think that’s better for the kids?

The alternative to adoption of healthy infants is not FOSTER CARE. It is healthy infants being raised by their own families. With proper access to health care and abortion.l care, no woman should be forced to be pregnant if she doesn’t want to be. That is a fixable problem. Women who do want to parent their infants should receive the support, health care, day care, and financial assistance to launch them into healthy parenthood.

It is NOT an outdated concept that most women relinquish their healthy infants because they are poor. That is the #1 reason by far. It is coercive and predatory to take children from people in poverty, brainwashing the mothers into believing that letting go of their babies is the only way they can truly love them.

I'm talking about babies being born today. If women don't have access to health care, day care, financial assistance..that is a systemic problem that we can work to fix, but since it won't be fixed today, what do you suggest we do with a baby that is born today to a woman who has chosen to place her child for adoption? Tell her no, because some people think she is being coerced?

Women have access to those things. You clearly know nothing about it.

[Anonymous]

Adoption is the best answer for half the kids in this country. Welfare is not necessary. I keep my money; the anti-adoption troll who keeps responding to herself on this and so many other threads (it's so obvious) can give all hers away to women who expect their breeding to be supported by others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adoption is the best answer for half the kids in this country. Welfare is not necessary. I keep my money; the anti-adoption troll who keeps responding to herself on this and so many other threads (it's so obvious) can give all hers away to women who expect their breeding to be supported by others.

there is one poster who is clearly identifiable who seems to have some trauma or mental illness of some kind. I’m sympathetic to her belief that biological parents should never be coerced into termination of parental rights; however, most of her statements are harmful stereotypes or outdated generalizations.