When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the "man-hating" wife who hates sex is the same one who will not get a Brazillian wax and likes to look at other women's crotches in the locker room in the "Beauty forum"?

And FYI I have never posted over there. Get used to the fact that many women find your entitled, pig-like attitude towards sex a total turn off. Gee, I wonder why you aren't getting any!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure that sex is a biological need for everyone. So I do not agree with your assumption. But, in your opinion, sex is the only thing that matters to you. See how narrow minded that sounds. What about raising a family, building a home, having fun, traveling, being close, etc... Is there nothing equally important in your life?

All those things you mentioned (family, home, fun, travel, closeness, etc) are very important indeed.
None of those are remotely able to compensate for a sexless marriage.
What was your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure that sex is a biological need for everyone. So I do not agree with your assumption. But, in your opinion, sex is the only thing that matters to you. See how narrow minded that sounds. What about raising a family, building a home, having fun, traveling, being close, etc... Is there nothing equally important in your life?

All those things you mentioned (family, home, fun, travel, closeness, etc) are very important indeed.
None of those are remotely able to compensate for a sexless marriage.
What was your point?

They are for me and most people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All those things you mentioned (family, home, fun, travel, closeness, etc) are very important indeed.
None of those are remotely able to compensate for a sexless marriage.
What was your point?

They are for me and most people!

Really? Those things are able to compensate for a sexless marriage?
You think most people want to be in a home, pretend to have fun, travel around, and be close to somebody who denies you sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All those things you mentioned (family, home, fun, travel, closeness, etc) are very important indeed.
None of those are remotely able to compensate for a sexless marriage.
What was your point?

They are for me and most people!

Really? Those things are able to compensate for a sexless marriage?
You think most people want to be in a home, pretend to have fun, travel around, and be close to somebody who denies you sex?

Yes! Because i dont feel entitled to it! If someone "denied me sex" I would a) Try to find out what was wrong, try to seduce them and win them over b) use my own two hands!! And in neither scenario would I hold it against the person or feel weird or like they had "wronged me" by not wanting to have sex with me. I am not owed sex from anyone.... EVER!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Because i dont feel entitled to it! If someone "denied me sex" I would a) Try to find out what was wrong, try to seduce them and win them over b) use my own two hands!! And in neither scenario would I hold it against the person or feel weird or like they had "wronged me" by not wanting to have sex with me. I am not owed sex from anyone.... EVER!

I never said I was entitled to sex. I said that no home/family/travel/etc would ever make up for a sexless marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Because i dont feel entitled to it! If someone "denied me sex" I would a) Try to find out what was wrong, try to seduce them and win them over b) use my own two hands!! And in neither scenario would I hold it against the person or feel weird or like they had "wronged me" by not wanting to have sex with me. I am not owed sex from anyone.... EVER!

I never said I was entitled to sex. I said that no home/family/travel/etc would ever make up for a sexless marriage.

"denies you sex"
As if sex is something you are owed.

[Anonymous]

I am not "owed" sex, but I do expect it, in order for me to happily meet my spouse's needs.
It is her choice do deny me or not, just as I can choose to meet her needs, or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not "owed" sex, but I do expect it, in order for me to happily meet my spouse's needs.
It is her choice do deny me or not, just as I can choose to meet her needs, or not.

Right, so you feel entitled to it, and if you dont get it you will punish her by not doing other things.

Geez, I can't imagine why she wouldnt want to fuck you... real headscratcher there...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Because i dont feel entitled to it! If someone "denied me sex" I would a) Try to find out what was wrong, try to seduce them and win them over b) use my own two hands!! And in neither scenario would I hold it against the person or feel weird or like they had "wronged me" by not wanting to have sex with me. I am not owed sex from anyone.... EVER!

I never said I was entitled to sex. I said that no home/family/travel/etc would ever make up for a sexless marriage.

"denies you sex"
As if sex is something you are owed.

NP here and a DW. OMFG.... if you're married and you aren't on board with him getting it elsewhere, YES YOU OWE HIM SEX. That is a 100% reasonable expectation to have of your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is a basic biological need. Both spouses need to provide that to each other. There are many DHs with no/low libido on this forum. I feel that a person is failing their marital duty if they are not a sexual partner.

Except for illness and medical condition that prevents full sexual relations between spouses, there is no excuse for not having sex. You can use alternate means to bring sexual relief to your partner, in most dire situations as well.

I am not sure that sex is a biological need for everyone. So I do not agree with your assumption. But, in your opinion, sex is the only thing that matters to you. See how narrow minded that sounds. What about raising a family, building a home, having fun, traveling, being close, etc... Is there nothing equally important in your life?

Of course, there are many important things in everyone's life. And one important thing is also sexual closeness between spouses. Now, if your sex drive matches your spouses then there is no problem. So, if you and your spouse both have low, no or high sex-drive, then it is great. However, a very important aspect of most marriages is sex between partners. If you do not think that sex in marriage is important, you should marry a man who thinks exactly like you.

Otherwise, it is bait and switch.

And before you start accusing me of being a man - I am the DW who wrote about my rampant libido, I wrote about finding pleasure in sex and this post about sex being a basic biological need. You are trying to make this about how men and women think differently about sex. You are attacking any female who is saying that they like sex.

In truth, your position is that of a spouse who is unhappy in your marriage and you cannot even begin to believe that perhaps some of the problem lies with your attitude about marital sex.

Not the Pp you're responding to, but you are so obviously the same guy again. Try harder.

I feel sooo sorry for any man you are married to.

Because I'm not an idiot? I think he's pretty happy about that. And he's certainly getting more action from me than you're getting from anyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Because i dont feel entitled to it! If someone "denied me sex" I would a) Try to find out what was wrong, try to seduce them and win them over b) use my own two hands!! And in neither scenario would I hold it against the person or feel weird or like they had "wronged me" by not wanting to have sex with me. I am not owed sex from anyone.... EVER!

I never said I was entitled to sex. I said that no home/family/travel/etc would ever make up for a sexless marriage.

"denies you sex"
As if sex is something you are owed.

NP here and a DW. OMFG.... if you're married and you aren't on board with him getting it elsewhere, YES YOU OWE HIM SEX. That is a 100% reasonable expectation to have of your spouse.

First of all, no, this is the same dude. Second of all, no, I dont. Sex is an act of love. Most of the time I feel very in love with DH and am happy to have sex a couple times a week. But there are times when I dont (yes, stretches that can go a few weeks)

If DH feels he is owed sex, he can gladly find someone else to provide it. I will simply divorce him when I find out and walk away with a good portion of his assets. DH is well aware of this and treats me like a goddess because he knows it's his means for sexy times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is a basic biological need. Both spouses need to provide that to each other. There are many DHs with no/low libido on this forum. I feel that a person is failing their marital duty if they are not a sexual partner.

Except for illness and medical condition that prevents full sexual relations between spouses, there is no excuse for not having sex. You can use alternate means to bring sexual relief to your partner, in most dire situations as well.

I am not sure that sex is a biological need for everyone. So I do not agree with your assumption. But, in your opinion, sex is the only thing that matters to you. See how narrow minded that sounds. What about raising a family, building a home, having fun, traveling, being close, etc... Is there nothing equally important in your life?

Of course, there are many important things in everyone's life. And one important thing is also sexual closeness between spouses. Now, if your sex drive matches your spouses then there is no problem. So, if you and your spouse both have low, no or high sex-drive, then it is great. However, a very important aspect of most marriages is sex between partners. If you do not think that sex in marriage is important, you should marry a man who thinks exactly like you.

Otherwise, it is bait and switch.

And before you start accusing me of being a man - I am the DW who wrote about my rampant libido, I wrote about finding pleasure in sex and this post about sex being a basic biological need. You are trying to make this about how men and women think differently about sex. You are attacking any female who is saying that they like sex.

In truth, your position is that of a spouse who is unhappy in your marriage and you cannot even begin to believe that perhaps some of the problem lies with your attitude about marital sex.

Not the Pp you're responding to, but you are so obviously the same guy again. Try harder.

I feel sooo sorry for any man you are married to.

Because I'm not an idiot? I think he's pretty happy about that. And he's certainly getting more action from me than you're getting from anyone!

x2. It's so funny that this dude is trying to threaten us with being sexually unattractive or whatever when he clearly couldn't get laid if his life depended on it. It's just hilarious...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not "owed" sex, but I do expect it, in order for me to happily meet my spouse's needs.
It is her choice do deny me or not, just as I can choose to meet her needs, or not.

Right, so you feel entitled to it, and if you dont get it you will punish her by not doing other things.

Geez, I can't imagine why she wouldnt want to fuck you... real headscratcher there...

Entitlement is inherent deserving but I don't believe that at all. I am more than willing to do my fair share in all areas of the marriage.

You call it punishment to deny important needs needs of a spouse. Agreed!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not "owed" sex, but I do expect it, in order for me to happily meet my spouse's needs.
It is her choice do deny me or not, just as I can choose to meet her needs, or not.

Right, so you feel entitled to it, and if you dont get it you will punish her by not doing other things.

Geez, I can't imagine why she wouldnt want to fuck you... real headscratcher there...

Entitlement is inherent deserving but I don't believe that at all. I am more than willing to do my fair share in all areas of the marriage.

You call it punishment to deny important needs needs of a spouse. Agreed!!

There is a difference to deny a need because other needs are more pressing and denying a need because you are being a passive aggressive bitch. What is so hard to understand about that? (and to clarify, YOU are the passive aggressive bitch in this scenario!)