When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All those things you mentioned (family, home, fun, travel, closeness, etc) are very important indeed.
None of those are remotely able to compensate for a sexless marriage.
What was your point?

They are for me and most people!

Really? Those things are able to compensate for a sexless marriage?
You think most people want to be in a home, pretend to have fun, travel around, and be close to somebody who denies you sex?

Yes! Because i dont feel entitled to it! If someone "denied me sex" I would a) Try to find out what was wrong, try to seduce them and win them over b) use my own two hands!! And in neither scenario would I hold it against the person or feel weird or like they had "wronged me" by not wanting to have sex with me. I am not owed sex from anyone.... EVER!

I couldn't be married to you. In exchange for promising fidelity to my husband, yes, he owes me sex. Or otherwise I'll get it elsewhere. You can't compare self satisfaction to a loving sexual relationship, unless sex is just not that important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White people problem!

Don't put in in with them. We're at it almost daily.

These sexless people just blow my mind. I simply cannot comprehend. They are broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people problem!

Don't put in in with them. We're at it almost daily.

These sexless people just blow my mind. I simply cannot comprehend. They are broken.

+ 1.

I have a sexless relationship - with my priest, co-workers, neighbors, friends, infact, every males except my DH. I married my DH to have sex exclusively with him (among other things). I am shocked to hear that some women want everything but sex in their marriage? Are they deliberately pushing their men to cheat so that they can divorce and get alimony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people problem!

Don't put in in with them. We're at it almost daily.

These sexless people just blow my mind. I simply cannot comprehend. They are broken.

+ 1.

I have a sexless relationship - with my priest, co-workers, neighbors, friends, infact, every males except my DH. I married my DH to have sex exclusively with him (among other things). I am shocked to hear that some women want everything but sex in their marriage? Are they deliberately pushing their men to cheat so that they can divorce and get alimony?

You are such a troll. We all know it's the same lonely dude gas lighting and pretending to be women. And it's so damn pathetic I can't even get my mind around it.

[Anonymous]

Man here.

When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.

If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.

You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.

Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.

Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.

Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here.

When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.

If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.

You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.

Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.

Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.

Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.

Same lonely dude...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here.

When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.

If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.

You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.

Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.

Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.

Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.

Don't stereotype me with the women posting on here.

I enjoy sex and expect to be doing it as long as I'm healthy. Reading this board makes me so grateful that my DH and I (two high drive people) came together. I feel terribly sorry for the people out there in sexless marriages. I hope you find some comfort in the arms of someone ready and willing. You deserve better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here.

When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.

If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.

You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.

Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.

Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.

Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.

Don't stereotype me with the women posting on here.

I enjoy sex and expect to be doing it as long as I'm healthy. Reading this board makes me so grateful that my DH and I (two high drive people) came together. I feel terribly sorry for the people out there in sexless marriages. I hope you find some comfort in the arms of someone ready and willing. You deserve better.

Anddddddd same dude

[Anonymous]

My husband made it known early in our relationship he wants to have sex everyday. I don't have a particularly high sex drive and felt 2 times a week is more than sufficient. However, we compromised and settled on a little more than every other day. Sometimes it's everyday. Sometimes we'll take 2 nights off.

We have 3 kids and both work FT and are driving kids all over northern Virginia and Maryland all week long for sports and activities and parties. It's absolutely ridiculous to say you can't make time for sex. Can't isn't the same as not wanting to.

To be fair, he pulls his weight around the house, to make sure we can be done putting the kids down and cleaning the house so we can have sex. I don't think of this as a turn on though. He's just doing what he should be and that in turn helps fulfill his needs.

If I was up until midnight cleaning and handling the kids and he was sitting around watching TV, being lazy and otherwise disconnected from being a father and partner, that issue isn't sex. And I don't think I've read anywhere on here that women need to just spread their legs for a husband who's being a POS and failing at basic responsibilities.

Just take one for the team every now and then. Your marriage will thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here.

When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.

If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.

You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.

Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.

Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.

Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.

Don't stereotype me with the women posting on here.

I enjoy sex and expect to be doing it as long as I'm healthy. Reading this board makes me so grateful that my DH and I (two high drive people) came together. I feel terribly sorry for the people out there in sexless marriages. I hope you find some comfort in the arms of someone ready and willing. You deserve better.

Another woman here. I accept the fact that indeed there are high and low drive people in the world. As long as the couple's drive match and they are happy, who cares?

Many people who are posting here (mainly women for some reason) are low sex individuals and they are trying to justify their position on sex. The truth is - no one cares.

It is better to be sexually compatible within a marriage. It does not take away all the normal stresses of a marriage but I believe they are less stressful than a sexually incompatible marriage.

[Anonymous]

Woman here, didn't read the 29 pages, but um, if you're married to someone, you should expect intimacy as part of the package. If it's lost, you work on restoring it. But for us to flame the man because he expects intimacy from his wife is ridiculous. Also, no one owes anyone sex. You give it, because you love them. I put out many times for DH when I didn't want to because I love him and want to feel close and make him happy. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here.

When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.

If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.

You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.

Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.

Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.

Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.

Don't stereotype me with the women posting on here.

I enjoy sex and expect to be doing it as long as I'm healthy. Reading this board makes me so grateful that my DH and I (two high drive people) came together. I feel terribly sorry for the people out there in sexless marriages. I hope you find some comfort in the arms of someone ready and willing. You deserve better.

Another woman here. I accept the fact that indeed there are high and low drive people in the world. As long as the couple's drive match and they are happy, who cares?

Many people who are posting here (mainly women for some reason) are low sex individuals and they are trying to justify their position on sex. The truth is - no one cares.

It is better to be sexually compatible within a marriage. It does not take away all the normal stresses of a marriage but I believe they are less stressful than a sexually incompatible marriage.

You keep saying that, but it's still not true. I'm high drive as is DH. But this guy posting here is a selfish jerk. My high drive doesn't blind me to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband made it known early in our relationship he wants to have sex everyday. I don't have a particularly high sex drive and felt 2 times a week is more than sufficient. However, we compromised and settled on a little more than every other day. Sometimes it's everyday. Sometimes we'll take 2 nights off.

We have 3 kids and both work FT and are driving kids all over northern Virginia and Maryland all week long for sports and activities and parties. It's absolutely ridiculous to say you can't make time for sex. Can't isn't the same as not wanting to.

To be fair, he pulls his weight around the house, to make sure we can be done putting the kids down and cleaning the house so we can have sex. I don't think of this as a turn on though. He's just doing what he should be and that in turn helps fulfill his needs.

If I was up until midnight cleaning and handling the kids and he was sitting around watching TV, being lazy and otherwise disconnected from being a father and partner, that issue isn't sex. And I don't think I've read anywhere on here that women need to just spread their legs for a husband who's being a POS and failing at basic responsibilities.

Just take one for the team every now and then. Your marriage will thank you.

Why not leave the dish s and the dust and f**k first?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband made it known early in our relationship he wants to have sex everyday. I don't have a particularly high sex drive and felt 2 times a week is more than sufficient. However, we compromised and settled on a little more than every other day. Sometimes it's everyday. Sometimes we'll take 2 nights off.

We have 3 kids and both work FT and are driving kids all over northern Virginia and Maryland all week long for sports and activities and parties. It's absolutely ridiculous to say you can't make time for sex. Can't isn't the same as not wanting to.

To be fair, he pulls his weight around the house, to make sure we can be done putting the kids down and cleaning the house so we can have sex. I don't think of this as a turn on though. He's just doing what he should be and that in turn helps fulfill his needs.

If I was up until midnight cleaning and handling the kids and he was sitting around watching TV, being lazy and otherwise disconnected from being a father and partner, that issue isn't sex. And I don't think I've read anywhere on here that women need to just spread their legs for a husband who's being a POS and failing at basic responsibilities.

Just take one for the team every now and then. Your marriage will thank you.

Why not leave the dish s and the dust and f**k first?

We both are kind of anal about not going to bed with it dirty and starting the day with a clean house. And we like to lay in bed after sex. He's up later than me, so he watches TV in bed and I go to sleep. Who wants to have sex then go downstairs and clean the kitchen? I'm too lazy after anywhere from 30-60 minutes of sex. The most I'll do is throw in a load of laundry.

We've been known to have a quickie on the couch (I am overly paranoid about one of the children walking downstairs and being scarred for life), but, that's like 10 minutes and we're already downstairs and at least partially clothed. It's easier to muster up the energy to finish cleaning when that happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here.

When there's this much anger, you need to look inside.

If you really think that a sexless marriage is ok, then thats your opinion. But from standpoint of OP and many other husbands on this board, its not.

You cant keep trying to deflect this back to the husband and say that its ALL his fault. Some of this is on the wife too.

Yes you're right that an ultimatum isnt the "right" thing to do, but the fact that its reached the ultimatum stage is a sign of how bad it is. At least he still cares to try and say something.

Whether or not you want to believe it, the next stage, which is silence, is the end. Because at that point, he just doesnt care anymore and he has checked out.

Marriage is about compromise, if you arent willing and if you dont care, then dont be surprised when he cheats or walks out the door.

Don't stereotype me with the women posting on here.

I enjoy sex and expect to be doing it as long as I'm healthy. Reading this board makes me so grateful that my DH and I (two high drive people) came together. I feel terribly sorry for the people out there in sexless marriages. I hope you find some comfort in the arms of someone ready and willing. You deserve better.

Another woman here. I accept the fact that indeed there are high and low drive people in the world. As long as the couple's drive match and they are happy, who cares?

Many people who are posting here (mainly women for some reason) are low sex individuals and they are trying to justify their position on sex. The truth is - no one cares.

It is better to be sexually compatible within a marriage. It does not take away all the normal stresses of a marriage but I believe they are less stressful than a sexually incompatible marriage.

You keep saying that, but it's still not true. I'm high drive as is DH. But this guy posting here is a selfish jerk. My high drive doesn't blind me to that.

It is completely true that you are not high drive. At best you are the beard for your DH or he is getting it somewhere else. Your posts are angry and bitter and you are attacking everyone - you are one unhappy person who is incapable of a civil dialog and your incessant posting of stupid gifs also tells me that your situation will not improve.

By your posts you have proved that you have very low respect for you DH. Maybe it is because you are actually not even in a relationship with another human being. An unattractive sexually frustrated someone - who is actually pretending to be in a sexually compatible marriage. My money is on that.

OR maybe - you are Pat! Your love of gifs clued me to your real identity.

Everyone -