I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had kids, DW became a SAHM and our discussion was always that she’d return to the workforce at some point. It’s now 15 years later, kids are in high school, and she is working part-time. I just did our taxes and she only earned $18k last year - I am a GS-15 so by no means a rainmaker. We are behind on savings, college 529, etc and I’m tired of having to agonize over every financial decision because our finances are so precarious. DW has a Masters and could be making $60-70K full time but doesn’t want to - she has many stay at home friends who are married to rainmakers, but that’s not me. I told her tonight that I’m at my wits end and she needs to step up. She doesn’t want to work full time - neither do I but I suck it up for the family. I’m very frustrated and can’t get DW to pick up the slack. I am very involved at home and with the kids so she has supper there. How can I make her understand that we can’t always get what we want?!?

Your communication skills may be terrible or you both are not on the same page. Sounds like your marriage, future, finances all are in a not good place. The amount you make is not insubstantial. You could not save on that? How did you overextend yourself? Ask yourself that question and do some cost cutting measures.

Or she can get a job.

Yes, she should plan her exit. This marriage is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got made fun of for wanting to stay home with my 14 year old daughter with pneumonia.
Only on DCUM would a WOHM go crazy on that one.
Yikes.

Huh, where did you see that? I know people disparaged staying home with ‘sick’ teenagers, but most people sick doesn’t mean pneumonia, and 14 is barely a high schooler, so unless you said pneumonia I suspect you are stretching.

My teen son had pneumonia and he basically slept 24x7 for a week and I worked the whole time. Was I going to stand over him and watch him sleep?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had kids, DW became a SAHM and our discussion was always that she’d return to the workforce at some point. It’s now 15 years later, kids are in high school, and she is working part-time. I just did our taxes and she only earned $18k last year - I am a GS-15 so by no means a rainmaker. We are behind on savings, college 529, etc and I’m tired of having to agonize over every financial decision because our finances are so precarious. DW has a Masters and could be making $60-70K full time but doesn’t want to - she has many stay at home friends who are married to rainmakers, but that’s not me. I told her tonight that I’m at my wits end and she needs to step up. She doesn’t want to work full time - neither do I but I suck it up for the family. I’m very frustrated and can’t get DW to pick up the slack. I am very involved at home and with the kids so she has supper there. How can I make her understand that we can’t always get what we want?!?

Your tone says it all.

1. She won't make even half as much as what you think given she has been out of the work force that long. Even part time won't make up for that.
2. You do realize they would take taxes out of her pay right?
3. Why don't you get a better job? Given you want her to improve her job situation I see no reason why you should not as well.

"Rainmaker" seriously grow up.

You’re reading comprehension says it all. How embarrassing to respond to a thread with a b!tchy comment that’s completely incorrect. OP’s wife is an SLP and is currently practicing. She’ll have zero issues making the money OP quoted and probably more.

[Anonymous]

Why is there an expectation that one should get to be a cost center as long as they personally see fit? Sounds a lot like the situation my current partner was in. Wife refused to work, still does. He pays alimony and child support, but it's based on his former government salary and terminates in about 10 years. His salary has increased considerably since the divorce, and she's pissed to not be getting $$$ credit for "making" him. I don't have a clue what she does all day or what she's going to do when her meal ticket dries up. I don't understand not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I bet you’re fun at parties.

For sure.
I have the time/infrastructure to throw parties. We have a large social circle and DH's work also needs constant entertaining. Besides I am a fabulous cook and can produce a lavish spread relatively inexpensively because I know how to cook from scratch.

NP - You are transparently insecure and low class. I actually feel sorry for you because its obvious how insecure you are inside.

[Anonymous]

Sure there are times I'd like to drop to PT and have a less stressed life and more time with kids.but that's not our financial reality, nor is it ops.

The family is behind in college, retirement savings. It's stressful (I can relate). Kids are in HS too!

If she made 65k a year for the next 12 years, she could probably max out retirement (esp if over 50) to shelter from tax and put rest in 529s also tax sheltered.

[Anonymous]

Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure there are times I'd like to drop to PT and have a less stressed life and more time with kids.but that's not our financial reality, nor is it ops.

The family is behind in college, retirement savings. It's stressful (I can relate). Kids are in HS too!

If she made 65k a year for the next 12 years, she could probably max out retirement (esp if over 50) to shelter from tax and put rest in 529s also tax sheltered.

Yes, and given her job and the potential do it in a school and get summers off and get home early, I don’t understand why she wouldn’t be doing this. Before I knew she was a speech therapist, I did sympathize with the wife but now I think it’s pretty unreasonable that she doesn’t scale up work.

I wish OP would come back and tell us about her excuses. Very curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I bet you’re fun at parties.

For sure.
I have the time/infrastructure to throw parties. We have a large social circle and DH's work also needs constant entertaining. Besides I am a fabulous cook and can produce a lavish spread relatively inexpensively because I know how to cook from scratch.

NP - You are transparently insecure and low class. I actually feel sorry for you because its obvious how insecure you are inside.

You are bitter and enraged at the hand fate has dealt you. Easily triggered.

[Anonymous]

I am betting that this is a White man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got made fun of for wanting to stay home with my 14 year old daughter with pneumonia.
Only on DCUM would a WOHM go crazy on that one.
Yikes.

Huh, where did you see that? I know people disparaged staying home with ‘sick’ teenagers, but most people sick doesn’t mean pneumonia, and 14 is barely a high schooler, so unless you said pneumonia I suspect you are stretching.

My teen son had pneumonia and he basically slept 24x7 for a week and I worked the whole time. Was I going to stand over him and watch him sleep?

Told ya! See above post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am betting that this is a White man.

Best. Post.
Thread over. Winner .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got made fun of for wanting to stay home with my 14 year old daughter with pneumonia.
Only on DCUM would a WOHM go crazy on that one.
Yikes.

Link?? I find it hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I bet you’re fun at parties.

For sure.
I have the time/infrastructure to throw parties. We have a large social circle and DH's work also needs constant entertaining. Besides I am a fabulous cook and can produce a lavish spread relatively inexpensively because I know how to cook from scratch.

Wow your brags are limitless and apparently so is your time to lodge them.

[Anonymous]

So OP, what are you going to do?