I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

[Anonymous]

Ops wife is out of shape and unattractive. Op basically wants to dump her. Rest is just excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made these strawberry white chocolate cupcakes on sunday: https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/white-chocolate-strawberry-cupcakes/

On Monday, I made french lentils with moroccan spiced salmon.

Last night, I heated up tomato soup but made amazing buttermilk biscuits.

I make around $500k a year.

Love you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I made these strawberry white chocolate cupcakes on sunday: https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/white-chocolate-strawberry-cupcakes/

On Monday, I made french lentils with moroccan spiced salmon.

Last night, I heated up tomato soup but made amazing buttermilk biscuits.

I make around $500k a year.

You should marry op. He needs your money and cooking skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had kids, DW became a SAHM and our discussion was always that she’d return to the workforce at some point. It’s now 15 years later, kids are in high school, and she is working part-time. I just did our taxes and she only earned $18k last year - I am a GS-15 so by no means a rainmaker. We are behind on savings, college 529, etc and I’m tired of having to agonize over every financial decision because our finances are so precarious. DW has a Masters and could be making $60-70K full time but doesn’t want to - she has many stay at home friends who are married to rainmakers, but that’s not me. I told her tonight that I’m at my wits end and she needs to step up. She doesn’t want to work full time - neither do I but I suck it up for the family. I’m very frustrated and can’t get DW to pick up the slack. I am very involved at home and with the kids so she has supper there. How can I make her understand that we can’t always get what we want?!?

Your communication skills may be terrible or you both are not on the same page. Sounds like your marriage, future, finances all are in a not good place. The amount you make is not insubstantial. You could not save on that? How did you overextend yourself? Ask yourself that question and do some cost cutting measures.

Or she can get a job.

[Anonymous]

OP may be having an affair and want to divorce his wife. If she starts working, he had to pay less. She knows it. o

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Got a neighbor. He cooks. He cleans. He works FT. His wife works PT. His kids are fantastic. He drives them everywhere when he actually should make them walk. But, one flaw.

Why are you so judgemental about people driving their kids? Unless he is asking you it is none of your business. I would take his "flaw" over yours any day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what you can’t see..

Salary.com Reveals Stay-at-Home Moms are Worth $162,581 a Year

https://www.hrdive.com/press-release/20180514-salarycom-reveals-stay-at-home-moms-are-worth-162581-a-year/

WALTHAM, MA (May 13, 2018) - If stay-at-home moms earned an annual salary for all the hours they put toward tending to the duties of their households and children, how much would they earn? Today – in honor of Mother’s Day – Salary.com, the leading SaaS provider of cloud-based compensation data and analytics, released its 18thannual Mom Salary survey, which puts a price tag on a priceless job: motherhood.

By selecting a handful of jobs that reflect a day in the life of a mom and pulling the market compensation data for those same roles, Salary.com determined that the median annual salary of a mother for 2018 is $162,581– rising nearly $5,000 from 2017 calculations.

Through surveying thousands of working and stay-at-home moms, the 18thannual Mom Salary Survey determined a mother’s most time-consuming tasks – and the hours spent on each one. Since 2000, Salary.com has tracked how a mom’s role has morphed over the years, and how the value of this hybrid role has continued to rise. With a nearly 96-hour work-week and a six-figure annual rate, moms may be the most valuable workers in the country.

“While it’s difficult to put a price tag on a job like being a mother, we at Salary.com would like to honor all the moms out there who work their hardest day-in and day-out,” said Alys Reynders Scott, Chief Marketing Officer, Salary.com. “We would like to recognize both professional and stay-at-home Moms on their unwavering dedication to their families and other responsibilities. The work ethic does not go unnoticed or unappreciated, and we were not surprised at the substantial salary we calculated this year. It is money well-earned.”

In addition to traditional roles like performing the duties of a cook, housekeeper, nurse, and nutritionist, moms of today have more responsibilities than ever before. For example, with the rise of technology, moms are expected to sharpen their knowledge around computers, tablets, smartphones, and social media – making them extremely well-rounded in their skillsets and very valuable in terms of earning potential.

Additional insights from Salary.com’s 2018 survey data on how much a mother’s work is worth can be accessed at: https://www.companalyst.com/blog/stay-at-home-mom/.

About Salary.com
Salary.com is the leading SaaS provider of cloud-based compensation market data and analytics. Founded in 1999, the Company serves approximately 4,000 business-to-business customers worldwide with its market-leading CompAnalyst platform, designed to accelerate compensation workflows and improve efficiency. Through its Salary Wizard and consumer website, Salary.com delivers continually updated, reliable market pay data and career content to hundreds of thousands of consumers each year. The Company is committed to helping organizations drive company success by aligning compensation practices with recruiting, performance and development initiatives through easy-to-access data and meaningful insights. For more information, please visit the company website at www.salary.com.

As a WOHM with a spouse who is a WOHF, does that mean that we, too, get an additional $162k in compensation for doing all of these things?

Other than the childcare during the workday, we do all the same stuff, and more efficiently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, we actually bought a house that was affordable to us and was only twice our HHI at the time. We knew that the curriculum of the entire district (MCPS) was substandard compared to our own home country. Private schools were even more disappointing. So it was obvious that we would be supplementing at home. Opting for an Elementary Title 1 school for our children was not a problem because we are not scared of diversity, and in early ES were happy that our kids were not in a bubble. The resources and funding available for Title 1 schools resulted in my kids getting accelerated and differentiated in early ES. Since I was extremely clued in about how to navigate the path to the best education in the county, our children got into the magnet track from elementary school onwards and both are in magnet high schools in highly selective STEM programs. We did not spend any money through K-12 for them to get an excellent education. No, prep company cost either To date, my kids have applied to all magnet programs they have been eligible for and have got into all. We also did not pay for a just-ok small house that was priced high because it was in a W-school district in MCPS.

Since we are a donut hole family, we were able to save for 8 years of college for both kids, with a limit of maximum of $50K per year for each- which is around $800K. None of this would be possible if we had bought a house in an expensive neighborhood with highly rated schools. We believe that schools do not produce high achievers. High achievers are produced in homes that value high academic achievement. Did not hurt that DH and I, both are academically high achieving, even if our HHI is not top 1% but top 3%.

I guarantee you that your magnet school is full of children of two working parents who somehow didn't suffer from lack of extra help with bum-wiping. I mean if you made more money you would be able to afford a nice house in a nice neighborhood AND save for college.

Yeah, sure. But we are very stress-free household, which works for us. I do have a wonderful SFH in a nice neighborhood, except it does not have highly ranked schools due to the demographics. Anyways, that is a moot point, since my kids went to magnet school, we did not lose out in schooling and I really like the kids that they go to school with and socialize with. Public school ratings are the main reason for paying exorbitant prices for the W-school homes, is it not? I have a wonderful spacious house with a lovely huge yard and neighbors that I like. Our HHI would have gone from 350K to 400K even if I made 100K (because taxes when filing jointly, outsourcing stuff and other costs of working) and somehow that was not worth it for us in terms of stress or additional income. Besides, it is easy for us to go on vacations because I do not have to take leave from work and can take my kids with me during their break, even if DH is unable to join us for the full duration of our vacation.

I think, once both my kids are in college, who knows? I might pick up an insanely low paying but highly satisfying and morally uplifting non-profit work. For right now - we have low overheards, we save a huge amount of our income for retirement and college, our kids are getting the best education, we have an awesome house, our lifestyle have some luxurious perks without breaking bank - vacations, 1 or 2 semi-expensive hobbies, cleaning lady, ECs for kids. I think we have reached the balance that many people try for. I am ok with not living a jet-setting country club lifestyle or buying designer purses and luxury cars because it would mean either going back to work or my DH working more. In the end, I do not value these things over time, peace of mind and stress-free harmonious family life.

Oh my lord. Your story isn’t even relevant to the OP who is probably just trying to break $200k by asking his wife to work. Your story about your amazing SAHM life with your $350k “modest” earning husband has literally nothing to do with or any perspective to add to OP’s situation.

I'm guessing this person's post are BS. Probably some dude name Greg posting from his grandmama's basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

Her kids are in HS... most HS students are gone from 7a-6p... she was a rockstar 10 years ago but now she is lazy.

If you do not live in the house you really have zero idea if she is lazy. You are just guessing. Again, we shouldnt automatically believ the op just because he is the narrator

What could she possibly be doing? Does she farm for food and make their clothes. GMAFB.

They had a deal she’s dishonest and lazy.

[Anonymous]

I got made fun of for wanting to stay home with my 14 year old daughter with pneumonia.
Only on DCUM would a WOHM go crazy on that one.
Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we had kids, DW became a SAHM and our discussion was always that she’d return to the workforce at some point. It’s now 15 years later, kids are in high school, and she is working part-time. I just did our taxes and she only earned $18k last year - I am a GS-15 so by no means a rainmaker. We are behind on savings, college 529, etc and I’m tired of having to agonize over every financial decision because our finances are so precarious. DW has a Masters and could be making $60-70K full time but doesn’t want to - she has many stay at home friends who are married to rainmakers, but that’s not me. I told her tonight that I’m at my wits end and she needs to step up. She doesn’t want to work full time - neither do I but I suck it up for the family. I’m very frustrated and can’t get DW to pick up the slack. I am very involved at home and with the kids so she has supper there. How can I make her understand that we can’t always get what we want?!?

Your tone says it all.

1. She won't make even half as much as what you think given she has been out of the work force that long. Even part time won't make up for that.
2. You do realize they would take taxes out of her pay right?
3. Why don't you get a better job? Given you want her to improve her job situation I see no reason why you should not as well.

"Rainmaker" seriously grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had kids, DW became a SAHM and our discussion was always that she’d return to the workforce at some point. It’s now 15 years later, kids are in high school, and she is working part-time. I just did our taxes and she only earned $18k last year - I am a GS-15 so by no means a rainmaker. We are behind on savings, college 529, etc and I’m tired of having to agonize over every financial decision because our finances are so precarious. DW has a Masters and could be making $60-70K full time but doesn’t want to - she has many stay at home friends who are married to rainmakers, but that’s not me. I told her tonight that I’m at my wits end and she needs to step up. She doesn’t want to work full time - neither do I but I suck it up for the family. I’m very frustrated and can’t get DW to pick up the slack. I am very involved at home and with the kids so she has supper there. How can I make her understand that we can’t always get what we want?!?

Your tone says it all.

1. She won't make even half as much as what you think given she has been out of the work force that long. Even part time won't make up for that.
2. You do realize they would take taxes out of her pay right?
3. Why don't you get a better job? Given you want her to improve her job situation I see no reason why you should not as well.

"Rainmaker" seriously grow up.

OP would be a moron to give up a GS-15 job just so his wife doesn’t have to work more hours. I love how everyone is ignoring what relative gold a GS-15 job is for his family both short and long-term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made these strawberry white chocolate cupcakes on sunday: https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/white-chocolate-strawberry-cupcakes/

On Monday, I made french lentils with moroccan spiced salmon.

Last night, I heated up tomato soup but made amazing buttermilk biscuits.

I make around $500k a year.

Love you!

Let me guess: your children were engaged in conversation and helping you the entire time you did this and therefore we cannot picture why on earth you would get home from work at 600, have 2-3 hours with children you haven’t seen all day, and chose to make salmon and lentils.
You all have matching aprons and they are in cooking classes. I’ll just type it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got made fun of for wanting to stay home with my 14 year old daughter with pneumonia.
Only on DCUM would a WOHM go crazy on that one.
Yikes.

Huh, where did you see that? I know people disparaged staying home with ‘sick’ teenagers, but most people sick doesn’t mean pneumonia, and 14 is barely a high schooler, so unless you said pneumonia I suspect you are stretching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I have been discussing me going back to work PT when youngest is in school. I made blueberry muffins today for my older kids' after school snack. He ate one and said no one I'm ever going back to work.

I just....
There are no words.

Do you have a daughter, PP? Are you happy with your daughter staying home and her sole purpose in life is baking blueberry muffins for her DH?

It’s not her sole purpose.