Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you child is turning six in Sept they must go to K. A lot of "rising 6 year olds" born in Aug and Sept go to K.

If every child followed the rules there would be no issues.

Now there's a generalization. Do you think that it's best for every single child, under every single circumstance, everywhere, to go to school according to the general schedule?

Also, the people who hold their children back for a year from kindergarten actually are following the rules. The rules explicitly provide for this choice. If you think that the rules should be changed so that they no longer allow this choice, then you should work to change the rules.

What's all this talk about rules? The cut-off in our area is September 1st, and DS was born September 9th. At first, we were somewhat relieved that he would have to wait till he was almost 6, but in the months leading up to his 5th birthday, it was very clear that he was ready for K and that waiting another year would drive him crazy. So we had him take an early entrance and he passed with flying colors, so he started kindergarten right before he turned 5. So technically, we didn't follow the rules either. Why? Because if we had just blindly followed the guidelines, he would be bored to tears. He's now 8 and in 3rd grade, reading at a 5th grade level, gets his work done early, and his teacher still has to find extra work to give him. I can't imagine what it would be like if he were in 2nd grade. The bottom line is that not one size fits all. If we had a child who made the cut-off, but had not been ready for K, we would have held him or her back. Kids need to be grouped by ability, not age. Just because a child misses the cut-off does not mean that he or she isn't ready for K, and just because a child makes the cut-off does not mean that he or she is ready for K. It all boils down to the individual.

[Anonymous]

That was an interesting story the first two or three times I read it. BTW, in Virginia, there is no early entrance test, if you miss the cutoff, that's it. But anyone can decide to hold back their child for any reason, up until they turn 7. It's possible to have some very old-for-grade 6 year olds in a K class, along with just-turned-5 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That was an interesting story the first two or three times I read it. BTW, in Virginia, there is no early entrance test, if you miss the cutoff, that's it. But anyone can decide to hold back their child for any reason, up until they turn 7. It's possible to have some very old-for-grade 6 year olds in a K class, along with just-turned-5 year olds.

I'm pretty sure there are restrictions on redshirting. It's only the kids who were born right before the cut-off who can be redshirted. For instance, areas where there's a fall cut-off, only summer birthdays are allowed to be redshirted, and in areas with winter cut-offs, only fall birthdays are allowed to be redshirted. But I don't know anyone with a Spring birthday who was redshirted. The rules in Virginia are stupid IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, your reasons are not compelling to me. Academically he sounds ready. You mention a few bullies who were older. My child has been bullied by much younger kids. This won't solve your problem.

In my opinion, whenever I see a redshirted child, I assume s/he has learning or social issues. Of course, I would never say that to you but that's what I would think.

funny about that

My son started K a year later b/c he was going through speech and OT. We thought it was best to hold him back. Now, he's a superstar and way ahead of his "true" peers had he not been held back. Maybe we overreacted, but I can't say I care. He's doing very well, is social, and a role model, according to his teachers.

May kid, too . . .

So you thought correctly, PP, but that doesn't mean that kids don't outgrow their issues and surpass others in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

People,

It depends on the kid! I taught K and had some September birthdays who were fine--but, also had some who really could have used another year. If you want to send your kid on time, do so. If you think your kid needs another year--you probably know best.

Had my DS had a September or late summer birthday, I would probably have redshirted him--because he was not as mature as some others his age. DD was naturally one of the older kids in the class and it just was not an issue.

Going to K is about a lot more than straight academics. And, so is high school. I would think long and hard before sending a September kid.

Just sayin.......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We are redshirting our late september twins (cut off is Oct 1). My husband was born the same time of year. He hated starting at four and he hated graduating at 17 and being the youngest. It was tough on him. Personally sending a 17 year old off to college really did not appeal to me.

We talked to their preschool and a few other educators and figure the three days is not a huge deal. I still struggled with it. I thought that they would be the oldest in the class. Guess I am wrong. They will graduate at 18 and be slighly older.

If you don't want them to go to college at 17, just have them take a gap year. Who says they have to go to college right after high school? Most of my friends didn't, and I wish I hadn't either. I don't understand why people feel obliged to start college at 17 just because they started Kindergarten at 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We are redshirting our late september twins (cut off is Oct 1). My husband was born the same time of year. He hated starting at four and he hated graduating at 17 and being the youngest. It was tough on him. Personally sending a 17 year old off to college really did not appeal to me.

We talked to their preschool and a few other educators and figure the three days is not a huge deal. I still struggled with it. I thought that they would be the oldest in the class. Guess I am wrong. They will graduate at 18 and be slighly older.

If you don't want them to go to college at 17, just have them take a gap year. Who says they have to go to college right after high school? Most of my friends didn't, and I wish I hadn't either. I don't understand why people feel obliged to start college at 17 just because they started Kindergarten at 4.

sure that's a possibility. but a gap year isn't for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We are redshirting our late september twins (cut off is Oct 1). My husband was born the same time of year. He hated starting at four and he hated graduating at 17 and being the youngest. It was tough on him. Personally sending a 17 year old off to college really did not appeal to me.

We talked to their preschool and a few other educators and figure the three days is not a huge deal. I still struggled with it. I thought that they would be the oldest in the class. Guess I am wrong. They will graduate at 18 and be slighly older.

If you don't want them to go to college at 17, just have them take a gap year. Who says they have to go to college right after high school? Most of my friends didn't, and I wish I hadn't either. I don't understand why people feel obliged to start college at 17 just because they started Kindergarten at 4.

sure that's a possibility. but a gap year isn't for everyone.

EVERYTHING isn't for everyone.

The main point is that, IF a problem happens to arise about sending a 17-year-old to college, there is a solution for that problem WHEN THE CHILD IS 17. (Capital letters for emphasis.) It's silly to hold back a ready-for-kindergarten child on grounds that the child might not be ready to go to college 13 years from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We are redshirting our late september twins (cut off is Oct 1). My husband was born the same time of year. He hated starting at four and he hated graduating at 17 and being the youngest. It was tough on him. Personally sending a 17 year old off to college really did not appeal to me.

We talked to their preschool and a few other educators and figure the three days is not a huge deal. I still struggled with it. I thought that they would be the oldest in the class. Guess I am wrong. They will graduate at 18 and be slighly older.

If you don't want them to go to college at 17, just have them take a gap year. Who says they have to go to college right after high school? Most of my friends didn't, and I wish I hadn't either. I don't understand why people feel obliged to start college at 17 just because they started Kindergarten at 4.

sure that's a possibility. but a gap year isn't for everyone.

EVERYTHING isn't for everyone.

The main point is that, IF a problem happens to arise about sending a 17-year-old to college, there is a solution for that problem WHEN THE CHILD IS 17. (Capital letters for emphasis.) It's silly to hold back a ready-for-kindergarten child on grounds that the child might not be ready to go to college 13 years from now.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We are redshirting our late september twins (cut off is Oct 1). My husband was born the same time of year. He hated starting at four and he hated graduating at 17 and being the youngest. It was tough on him. Personally sending a 17 year old off to college really did not appeal to me.

We talked to their preschool and a few other educators and figure the three days is not a huge deal. I still struggled with it. I thought that they would be the oldest in the class. Guess I am wrong. They will graduate at 18 and be slighly older.

If you don't want them to go to college at 17, just have them take a gap year. Who says they have to go to college right after high school? Most of my friends didn't, and I wish I hadn't either. I don't understand why people feel obliged to start college at 17 just because they started Kindergarten at 4.

sure that's a possibility. but a gap year isn't for everyone.

EVERYTHING isn't for everyone.

The main point is that, IF a problem happens to arise about sending a 17-year-old to college, there is a solution for that problem WHEN THE CHILD IS 17. (Capital letters for emphasis.) It's silly to hold back a ready-for-kindergarten child on grounds that the child might not be ready to go to college 13 years from now.

well sure if that's the only reason for holding the kid back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We are redshirting our late september twins (cut off is Oct 1). My husband was born the same time of year. He hated starting at four and he hated graduating at 17 and being the youngest. It was tough on him. Personally sending a 17 year old off to college really did not appeal to me.

We talked to their preschool and a few other educators and figure the three days is not a huge deal. I still struggled with it. I thought that they would be the oldest in the class. Guess I am wrong. They will graduate at 18 and be slighly older.

If you don't want them to go to college at 17, just have them take a gap year. Who says they have to go to college right after high school? Most of my friends didn't, and I wish I hadn't either. I don't understand why people feel obliged to start college at 17 just because they started Kindergarten at 4.

sure that's a possibility. but a gap year isn't for everyone.

EVERYTHING isn't for everyone.

The main point is that, IF a problem happens to arise about sending a 17-year-old to college, there is a solution for that problem WHEN THE CHILD IS 17. (Capital letters for emphasis.) It's silly to hold back a ready-for-kindergarten child on grounds that the child might not be ready to go to college 13 years from now.

you're right - which is why some parents chose to hold back and others don't.

[Anonymous]

Exactly.

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a HS teacher with nearly 20 years of experience, and when I see boys with problems, 95% of them are the oldest ones, not the youngest ones. The youngest ones, or at least the ones that seem most physically immature, may struggle socially, but they do not disrupt the class or engage in behavior that is borderline delinquent. For me, I rather have a younger boy in HS than an older one.

While I appreciate the work that ES school teachers do, they do not see what happens to these children at 14-19. Very different story.

We had our late-June birthday DS go to K on time. He was definitely ready academically and socially but still he struggled a lot in the early years with impulse control issues. Fortunately, the school was great in working with him and recognized that his behavior was not out of the norm for expectations given that he was young. We had a number of meetings with the school counselor in 2nd-3rd grade and when I expressed some regret that maybe we should have held him back she emphatically said we were right to start him on time. She said, in her experience and knowing him, that if we'd held him back he'd still be getting in trouble but out of boredom rather than immaturity and the boredom issue is a lot harder to deal with. Most of his impulse control issues were outgrown by 4th grade

[Anonymous]

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

Not necessarily. That is just one reason. This family had experience with it already and has made a decision based on their own preferences. Have you had a high school kid? I cannot imagine sending a kid all the way through school a year ahead of time and then telling him that he has to stay back because he is not old enough. There are lots and lots of reasons it is not a good idea to send a child who is on the cusp. It depends on the kid.

[Anonymous]

I am a HS teacher with nearly 20 years of experience, and when I see boys with problems, 95% of them are the oldest ones, not the youngest ones. The youngest ones, or at least the ones that seem most physically immature, may struggle socially, but they do not disrupt the class or engage in behavior that is borderline delinquent. For me, I rather have a younger boy in HS than an older one.

Interesting comment. I've known several young ones who may not have been disruptive--but ended up dropping out of college freshman year.