Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has close friends who redshirted their July D, I've learned that it can easily backfire. This girl started K right after she turned 6 and excelled in school, especially in reading and writing. Very early on, she earned a reputation as "the smart kid", and was always very proud of herself until 6th grade. One day, she was helping her 6th-grade English teacher prepare for the next day's lesson, and they somehow winded up talking about birthdays, and when her teacher found out she would be turning 13 the following July, she said something along the lines of, "So that's why you're doing so well. Your parents held you back a year. That was smart of them." She then went on to explain how studies showed that older kids usually did better in school. Well, after that, she never thought of herself as smart again. Every time she accomplished something, she said something along the lines of, "I'm supposed to doing better than everybody. I'm older than everybody." She continued to excel throughout middle school and high school, was principal flutist of her all-state honor orchestra for all 4 years of high school, ended up getting into a top conservatory, and now, at 27, plays the flute professionally. But said she found it difficult to feel proud of herself. This is just something to consider for those who plan to redshirt to boost child's self-esteem, as it could very well do the opposite.

Red shirting causes [the horror] a lifetime sentence of flute-playing. Now I've seen it all.

The flute-playing has nothing to do with it. I just added that in to show that she became successful. My main point was that it really hurt her self-esteem when she find out that her accomplishments were merely because of her age, rather than a special personal aspect that she had thought she had.

I'm quite sure her accomplishments did not only have to do with her age. I can't believe one comment would ruin her self esteem. If so that's pretty sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has close friends who redshirted their July D, I've learned that it can easily backfire. This girl started K right after she turned 6 and excelled in school, especially in reading and writing. Very early on, she earned a reputation as "the smart kid", and was always very proud of herself until 6th grade. One day, she was helping her 6th-grade English teacher prepare for the next day's lesson, and they somehow winded up talking about birthdays, and when her teacher found out she would be turning 13 the following July, she said something along the lines of, "So that's why you're doing so well. Your parents held you back a year. That was smart of them." She then went on to explain how studies showed that older kids usually did better in school. Well, after that, she never thought of herself as smart again. Every time she accomplished something, she said something along the lines of, "I'm supposed to doing better than everybody. I'm older than everybody." She continued to excel throughout middle school and high school, was principal flutist of her all-state honor orchestra for all 4 years of high school, ended up getting into a top conservatory, and now, at 27, plays the flute professionally. But said she found it difficult to feel proud of herself. This is just something to consider for those who plan to redshirt to boost child's self-esteem, as it could very well do the opposite.

Red shirting causes [the horror] a lifetime sentence of flute-playing. Now I've seen it all.

The flute-playing has nothing to do with it. I just added that in to show that she became successful. My main point was that it really hurt her self-esteem when she find out that her accomplishments were merely because of her age, rather than a special personal aspect that she had thought she had.

But, more than likely she would have been fine and playing the flute if she went on time. Its silly to only use situations like that when a child cannot have two lives so there is no way to compare how they would do if they went onetime. It isn't that she was smarter, but she was basically dumbed down being older and not doing work on her age level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has close friends who redshirted their July D, I've learned that it can easily backfire. This girl started K right after she turned 6 and excelled in school, especially in reading and writing. Very early on, she earned a reputation as "the smart kid", and was always very proud of herself until 6th grade. One day, she was helping her 6th-grade English teacher prepare for the next day's lesson, and they somehow winded up talking about birthdays, and when her teacher found out she would be turning 13 the following July, she said something along the lines of, "So that's why you're doing so well. Your parents held you back a year. That was smart of them." She then went on to explain how studies showed that older kids usually did better in school. Well, after that, she never thought of herself as smart again. Every time she accomplished something, she said something along the lines of, "I'm supposed to doing better than everybody. I'm older than everybody." She continued to excel throughout middle school and high school, was principal flutist of her all-state honor orchestra for all 4 years of high school, ended up getting into a top conservatory, and now, at 27, plays the flute professionally. But said she found it difficult to feel proud of herself. This is just something to consider for those who plan to redshirt to boost child's self-esteem, as it could very well do the opposite.

Red shirting causes [the horror] a lifetime sentence of flute-playing. Now I've seen it all.

The flute-playing has nothing to do with it. I just added that in to show that she became successful. My main point was that it really hurt her self-esteem when she find out that her accomplishments were merely because of her age, rather than a special personal aspect that she had thought she had.

But, more than likely she would have been fine and playing the flute if she went on time. Its silly to only use situations like that when a child cannot have two lives so there is no way to compare how they would do if they went onetime. It isn't that she was smarter, but she was basically dumbed down being older and not doing work on her age level.

but she may in fact have been smarter (regardless of what grade she was in). plus unless she was significantly older than the kids in her class, I doubt she was basically "dumbed down". How much older was she than the oldest kid in her grade? A few weeks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has close friends who redshirted their July D, I've learned that it can easily backfire. This girl started K right after she turned 6 and excelled in school, especially in reading and writing. Very early on, she earned a reputation as "the smart kid", and was always very proud of herself until 6th grade. One day, she was helping her 6th-grade English teacher prepare for the next day's lesson, and they somehow winded up talking about birthdays, and when her teacher found out she would be turning 13 the following July, she said something along the lines of, "So that's why you're doing so well. Your parents held you back a year. That was smart of them." She then went on to explain how studies showed that older kids usually did better in school. Well, after that, she never thought of herself as smart again. Every time she accomplished something, she said something along the lines of, "I'm supposed to doing better than everybody. I'm older than everybody." She continued to excel throughout middle school and high school, was principal flutist of her all-state honor orchestra for all 4 years of high school, ended up getting into a top conservatory, and now, at 27, plays the flute professionally. But said she found it difficult to feel proud of herself. This is just something to consider for those who plan to redshirt to boost child's self-esteem, as it could very well do the opposite.

Red shirting causes [the horror] a lifetime sentence of flute-playing. Now I've seen it all.

The flute-playing has nothing to do with it. I just added that in to show that she became successful. My main point was that it really hurt her self-esteem when she find out that her accomplishments were merely because of her age, rather than a special personal aspect that she had thought she had.

I'm quite sure her accomplishments did not only have to do with her age. I can't believe one comment would ruin her self esteem. If so that's pretty sad.

I remember one or two comments from my parents or mentors that stuck with me, positively or negatively. I can believe one comment would ruin her self esteem -- children are sensitive and believe what adults tell them. It's impossible to know which comment will have such an impact, though.

[Anonymous]

I remember one or two comments from my parents or mentors that stuck with me, positively or negatively. I can believe one comment would ruin her self esteem -- children are sensitive and believe what adults tell them. It's impossible to know which comment will have such an impact, though.

Totally off-topic, but on "self-esteem"--I had a principal who told this story: He had worked as a sixth grade teacher in a school where there was another male sixth grade teacher who was a very nice man--but known to all his colleagues as a very weak teacher. Years later, when my principal became a principal, a family came to register a younger child in his school--a different location. He realized that he recognized this family from his former school. In talking with the parents, they remarked about what a "wonderful" teacher their child had at that school. It was a turning point in her education. After that year, she became quite successful as a student. Why? That teacher had convinced her that she could do anything she chose! He may not have been the "best" teacher, but apparently he knew how to build self-esteem. My principal understood that this was an important lesson for all of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has close friends who redshirted their July D, I've learned that it can easily backfire. This girl started K right after she turned 6 and excelled in school, especially in reading and writing. Very early on, she earned a reputation as "the smart kid", and was always very proud of herself until 6th grade. One day, she was helping her 6th-grade English teacher prepare for the next day's lesson, and they somehow winded up talking about birthdays, and when her teacher found out she would be turning 13 the following July, she said something along the lines of, "So that's why you're doing so well. Your parents held you back a year. That was smart of them." She then went on to explain how studies showed that older kids usually did better in school. Well, after that, she never thought of herself as smart again. Every time she accomplished something, she said something along the lines of, "I'm supposed to doing better than everybody. I'm older than everybody." She continued to excel throughout middle school and high school, was principal flutist of her all-state honor orchestra for all 4 years of high school, ended up getting into a top conservatory, and now, at 27, plays the flute professionally. But said she found it difficult to feel proud of herself. This is just something to consider for those who plan to redshirt to boost child's self-esteem, as it could very well do the opposite.

Red shirting causes [the horror] a lifetime sentence of flute-playing. Now I've seen it all.

The flute-playing has nothing to do with it. I just added that in to show that she became successful. My main point was that it really hurt her self-esteem when she find out that her accomplishments were merely because of her age, rather than a special personal aspect that she had thought she had.

I don't see why one's age would make a difference in how they feel about their accomplishments. Isn't how well you do something more important than the age you do it at?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has close friends who redshirted their July D, I've learned that it can easily backfire. This girl started K right after she turned 6 and excelled in school, especially in reading and writing. Very early on, she earned a reputation as "the smart kid", and was always very proud of herself until 6th grade. One day, she was helping her 6th-grade English teacher prepare for the next day's lesson, and they somehow winded up talking about birthdays, and when her teacher found out she would be turning 13 the following July, she said something along the lines of, "So that's why you're doing so well. Your parents held you back a year. That was smart of them." She then went on to explain how studies showed that older kids usually did better in school. Well, after that, she never thought of herself as smart again. Every time she accomplished something, she said something along the lines of, "I'm supposed to doing better than everybody. I'm older than everybody." She continued to excel throughout middle school and high school, was principal flutist of her all-state honor orchestra for all 4 years of high school, ended up getting into a top conservatory, and now, at 27, plays the flute professionally. But said she found it difficult to feel proud of herself. This is just something to consider for those who plan to redshirt to boost child's self-esteem, as it could very well do the opposite.

Red shirting causes [the horror] a lifetime sentence of flute-playing. Now I've seen it all.

The flute-playing has nothing to do with it. I just added that in to show that she became successful. My main point was that it really hurt her self-esteem when she find out that her accomplishments were merely because of her age, rather than a special personal aspect that she had thought she had.

I don't see why one's age would make a difference in how they feel about their accomplishments. Isn't how well you do something more important than the age you do it at?

It should be. I see no reason why this child shouldn't have been proud of her accomplishments no matter what. And as we all know - its not only the oldest kids in class who can be advanced, it can also be the youngest. So I don't see why anyone would try to take away this child's sense of accomplishment. What an asshole teacher.

[Anonymous]

It only makes sense to measure aptitude and accomplishments v. age peers. If a kid has been held back, you have to compare to age peers in the next grade to get a realistic view.

[Anonymous]

It only makes sense to measure aptitude and accomplishments v. age peers. If a kid has been held back, you have to compare to age peers in the next grade to get a realistic view.

So, it's okay to lump in the turning five year old September child with the turning six year old October child? No matter how you shake it out, the kids are not the same age. So, a few of them are a month or two older than the rest of the cohort--there are always some that are older and some that are younger.

[Anonymous]

And........aptitude tests are based on age--including month. In other words, if two kids get the same raw score on an IQ test, the one turning five will have a higher aptitude than the one turning six.

Achievement tests are usually just based on raw score.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It only makes sense to measure aptitude and accomplishments v. age peers. If a kid has been held back, you have to compare to age peers in the next grade to get a realistic view.

Why? She was learning the material for the first time just like her classmates. I would think that exposure to the material would have a greater impact on performance than age. It's not like you automatically learn more just because you've lived longer.

My kid generally is not learning the materials for the first time in school. They learn it first at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It only makes sense to measure aptitude and accomplishments v. age peers. If a kid has been held back, you have to compare to age peers in the next grade to get a realistic view.

Why? She was learning the material for the first time just like her classmates. I would think that exposure to the material would have a greater impact on performance than age. It's not like you automatically learn more just because you've lived longer.

My kid generally is not learning the materials for the first time in school. They learn it first at home.

Her parents did not teach her kindergarten material the year she was held back. Not that they could have even if they had tried. They're musicians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It only makes sense to measure aptitude and accomplishments v. age peers. If a kid has been held back, you have to compare to age peers in the next grade to get a realistic view.

Why? She was learning the material for the first time just like her classmates. I would think that exposure to the material would have a greater impact on performance than age. It's not like you automatically learn more just because you've lived longer.

Because mental capacity grows continuously until it stabilizes around age 15.

[Anonymous]

My kid generally is not learning the materials for the first time in school. They learn it first at home.


Her parents did not teach her kindergarten material the year she was held back. Not that they could have even if they had tried. They're musicians.

Both of these statements are hilarious and clueless.