Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

It isn't funny, Buffy, to have a thirteen year old in the fourth grade.

Seriously, everyone will assume your son is slow. Congrats on that. You have given him a new label.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your kid will turn 7 in kindergarten? Yeah I wouldn't celebrate his 7th birthday with his kinder friends. My son who just finished 2nd grade is still 7.

I agree. That is insane. My child will celebrate their 5th birthday in kindergarten. The fact that your 7 year old may be in class with my 5 year old is ridiculous.

If you are in MD you are going early. My kid is going per guidelines and will turn 6 a month and a half after school starts.

The cut-off in Virginia is later.

[Anonymous]

What kind of terrible pre-K lets children throw rocks at other children? And cut their hair? WTF? Was this Little Lord of the Flies Preschool?

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, people will ask you. My oldest has always been the tallest kid in the class, and we always got asked in K/1/2: sometimes they would directly ask about redshirting, sometimes it would just be an out-of-the-blue query about his birthday. Not so much any more, now that he's older. The funny part is that he has an April birthday and because of people like the OP, he is one of the youngest boys in his class.

I don't assume that the redshirts have some kind of learning issue; I just assume they have mothers who either want to continue infantilizing their children or mothers who think being older is an advantage. OP, I found your introductory chapter particularly funny and clever, particularly the whole God/praying/church-going part. Because we all understand that redshirting would be totally wrong if you were raising an atheist. Give me abreak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's my understanding that in the state of VA one must turn 5 by Sept 30? So children start turning 6 in Oct, Nov, etc... And some children start at 6 if they redshirted. How can your child be turning 5 during the school year?

My child will start at age 6, along with any late spring, summer, August September birthdays- who will also start at 6. And immediately children will start turning 6. During our last school year the majority of the children in our class turned 5 by January and my child was the second to the youngest in the class.

In any case, my child will still be in the same peer group (other redshirts and kids born sept-april). The only children that could potentially be much younger than him are summer and fall birthdays who didn't redshirt. In that case, its still ok for us. My son plays with a redshirt in the class above and he also plays with a child a year younger. My child is fine with it and the other kids seem fine with it. I was only curious about what to say if asked directly by other parents and if its ok to be open about it or if it should be hush-hush/private, not because I am embarrassed, but because I didn't wanna get dragged into this redshirt drama irl.

The kids with September birthdays after Labor Day start K when they are 4 and turn 5 in September. They are the ones starting on time yet because so many people redshirt people always ask if they skipped a grade.

[Anonymous]

Tl;dr. You are insecure and you're worries your kid is a wuss. No valid reason to redshirt, and by the way, you're taking a MAJOR redshirt. This isn't a 50/50 decision, you're just scared and would rather your kid be the bully for the first ten years than risk the possibility that his natural personality won't be an alpha. You're giving him a crutch and it won't help him later in life.

But, you should own it. There's no other strategy.

[Anonymous]

Wait - your son is doing advanced math so your solution is to hold him back a year?! Makes no sense whatsoever. You're an idiot, OP, and clearly embarrassed by your choice.

I agree with other posters, when people find out your kid's age they will all assume he had developmental delays.

DD is in private school and with her late August birthday will be starting kindergarten a few days after she turns five. Your son will be a year and a half older than her and will turn seven in kindergarten when his classmate, my DD will still be five for another few months. Come on, OP - that is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are ridiculous. Own your decision and the ramifications. People will make assumptions about you and your child if he turns seven in kindergarten. That's how it works. If it's worth it to you, it's worth it to you.

I agree with this.

Personally, I think your decision is ridiculous. But, it's not my kid, so do whatever you want. And, yes, most people WILL make assumptions. If you're fine with that, then who cares what they think.

[Anonymous]

Your kid will be 18 his jr year of high school, the age of majority. Have fun with that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be 18 his jr year of high school, the age of majority. Have fun with that!

And if your 18 year old Junior in High School has sex with a 16 year old junior he might be prosecuted for statutory rape, or if he has sex with a 15 year old sophomore it is even more likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid will be 18 his jr year of high school, the age of majority. Have fun with that!

And if your 18 year old Junior in High School has sex with a 16 year old junior he might be prosecuted for statutory rape, or if he has sex with a 15 year old sophomore it is even more likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is embarrassed by her decision. And quite frankly I think she should be.

Send your kid to kindergarten with all the other 5 year olds.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Unless your kid has a real issue send him to kindergarten! What you are doing is unfair to those who have July or August kids and want to send them on time. Now your kid will be more than a year older than the youngest kids in class! Talk about awkward for your own kid! And by the way, one of the meanest kids I knew in elementary was one of the youngest. There is no rule that only "older" kids are bullies. If your child is sweet and sensitive he may have the same issues whether he is oldest or youngest. You have not said he is immature or or slow academically so I think it is RIDICULOUS that you are holding a May child back. The pre K just wants your money so wants to keep you there another year. If you're not sure do a year of private K and then decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's my understanding that in the state of VA one must turn 5 by Sept 30? So children start turning 6 in Oct, Nov, etc... And some children start at 6 if they redshirted. How can your child be turning 5 during the school year?

My child will start at age 6, along with any late spring, summer, August September birthdays- who will also start at 6. And immediately children will start turning 6. During our last school year the majority of the children in our class turned 5 by January and my child was the second to the youngest in the class.

In any case, my child will still be in the same peer group (other redshirts and kids born sept-april). The only children that could potentially be much younger than him are summer and fall birthdays who didn't redshirt. In that case, its still ok for us. My son plays with a redshirt in the class above and he also plays with a child a year younger. My child is fine with it and the other kids seem fine with it. I was only curious about what to say if asked directly by other parents and if its ok to be open about it or if it should be hush-hush/private, not because I am embarrassed, but because I didn't wanna get dragged into this redshirt drama irl.

The kids with September birthdays after Labor Day start K when they are 4 and turn 5 in September. They are the ones starting on time yet because so many people redshirt people always ask if they skipped a grade.

Actually, the kids in this situation really have a variety of outcomes depending on where they live. My kid with a birthday in the first week of September would turn 5 the first week of school - except we live in Maryland where the cut-off is Aug. 31. So we are stuck paying for another year of pre-K and she will turn 6 during the first week of Kinder next year.

[Anonymous]

^^^^But she will STILL be younger than OP's kid.