Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

Not necessarily. That is just one reason. This family had experience with it already and has made a decision based on their own preferences. Have you had a high school kid? I cannot imagine sending a kid all the way through school a year ahead of time and then telling him that he has to stay back because he is not old enough. There are lots and lots of reasons it is not a good idea to send a child who is on the cusp. It depends on the kid.

Well, yes, if you will refuse to allow your child to go to college at 17, regardless of the individual child and the individual circumstance, then you should make sure that your child starts kindergarten at age 6.

But surely nobody in favor of redshirting would make such a blanket decision about 17-year-olds! After all, redshirting is based on the idea that a parent's decision should depend on the individual child and the individual circumstances. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

Not necessarily. That is just one reason. This family had experience with it already and has made a decision based on their own preferences. Have you had a high school kid? I cannot imagine sending a kid all the way through school a year ahead of time and then telling him that he has to stay back because he is not old enough. There are lots and lots of reasons it is not a good idea to send a child who is on the cusp. It depends on the kid.

Well, yes, if you will refuse to allow your child to go to college at 17, regardless of the individual child and the individual circumstance, then you should make sure that your child starts kindergarten at age 6.

But surely nobody in favor of redshirting would make such a blanket decision about 17-year-olds! After all, redshirting is based on the idea that a parent's decision should depend on the individual child and the individual circumstances. Right?

of course each parent is making the best decision for their own child. whatever else would they be doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

Not necessarily. That is just one reason. This family had experience with it already and has made a decision based on their own preferences. Have you had a high school kid? I cannot imagine sending a kid all the way through school a year ahead of time and then telling him that he has to stay back because he is not old enough. There are lots and lots of reasons it is not a good idea to send a child who is on the cusp. It depends on the kid.

Why can't you imagine that? That's exactly what my parents did with me. It was great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

Not necessarily. That is just one reason. This family had experience with it already and has made a decision based on their own preferences. Have you had a high school kid? I cannot imagine sending a kid all the way through school a year ahead of time and then telling him that he has to stay back because he is not old enough. There are lots and lots of reasons it is not a good idea to send a child who is on the cusp. It depends on the kid.

Why can't you imagine that? That's exactly what my parents did with me. It was great!

this thread is full of personal anecdotes. and that's great. but the bottom line is that every family is going to do what they are going to do. somehow I think all the kids will survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

Not necessarily. That is just one reason. This family had experience with it already and has made a decision based on their own preferences. Have you had a high school kid? I cannot imagine sending a kid all the way through school a year ahead of time and then telling him that he has to stay back because he is not old enough. There are lots and lots of reasons it is not a good idea to send a child who is on the cusp. It depends on the kid.

Why can't you imagine that? That's exactly what my parents did with me. It was great!

this thread is full of personal anecdotes. and that's great. but the bottom line is that every family is going to do what they are going to do. somehow I think all the kids will survive.

Yes, of course. I was responding to the person who said that parents requiring that a younger graduate take a gap year was unimaginable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

Not necessarily. That is just one reason. This family had experience with it already and has made a decision based on their own preferences. Have you had a high school kid? I cannot imagine sending a kid all the way through school a year ahead of time and then telling him that he has to stay back because he is not old enough. There are lots and lots of reasons it is not a good idea to send a child who is on the cusp. It depends on the kid.

Why can't you imagine that? That's exactly what my parents did with me. It was great!

this thread is full of personal anecdotes. and that's great. but the bottom line is that every family is going to do what they are going to do. somehow I think all the kids will survive.

Yes, of course. I was responding to the person who said that parents requiring that a younger graduate take a gap year was unimaginable.

I wasn't necessarily responding to only you. This thread (as with many about red shirting) is off the rails. People get so defensive and sure they have all the answers for everyone. Again, each family is going to make their own choice....

[Anonymous]

Going back to the OP who may be long gone since she wrote in June....

You avoid where you can. You just state plainly where you have to, and you don't answer questions you don't want to answer.

How do you avoid these questions? Shut down the conversation, change the subject, just go quiet. Do what you'd normally do if you needed it to stop. Take a call, go to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nonetheless, "I don't want them to go to college at 17" is a foolish reason to hold back a child who is ready to go to kindergarten now.

Not necessarily. That is just one reason. This family had experience with it already and has made a decision based on their own preferences. Have you had a high school kid? I cannot imagine sending a kid all the way through school a year ahead of time and then telling him that he has to stay back because he is not old enough. There are lots and lots of reasons it is not a good idea to send a child who is on the cusp. It depends on the kid.

Well, yes, if you will refuse to allow your child to go to college at 17, regardless of the individual child and the individual circumstance, then you should make sure that your child starts kindergarten at age 6.

But surely nobody in favor of redshirting would make such a blanket decision about 17-year-olds! After all, redshirting is based on the idea that a parent's decision should depend on the individual child and the individual circumstances. Right?

of course each parent is making the best decision for their own child. whatever else would they be doing?

Deciding that it is not possible for any 17-year-old under any circumstances to be ready for college, evidently.

[Anonymous]

I actually agree with your assessment. When we decided to redshirt our late Sept. child, we did come to the conclusion that it would be very difficult for our child to graduate with the current pressure to succeed in high school at 17 and attend college at that age as well. Now you have to have accomplishments before going onto college and take a year's worth of college credits in high school we're told. So basically I'm still starting my 17 year old in college at 17, it's just that the classes are being taught in high school.

[Anonymous]

I actually agree with your assessment. When we decided to redshirt our late Sept. child, we did come to the conclusion that it would be very difficult for our child to graduate with the current pressure to succeed in high school at 17 and attend college at that age as well. Now you have to have accomplishments before going onto college and take a year's worth of college credits in high school we're told. So basically I'm still starting my 17 year old in college at 17, it's just that the classes are being taught in high school.

GREAT response.

College today has so many more freedoms and opportunities for "issues" than when I went. Frankly, I think a "gap" year for all high school grads might not be a bad idea!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going back to the OP who may be long gone since she wrote in June....

You avoid where you can. You just state plainly where you have to, and you don't answer questions you don't want to answer.

How do you avoid these questions? Shut down the conversation, change the subject, just go quiet. Do what you'd normally do if you needed it to stop. Take a call, go to the bathroom.

If you are embarrassed to answer questions about your decision, you made a shady decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going back to the OP who may be long gone since she wrote in June....

You avoid where you can. You just state plainly where you have to, and you don't answer questions you don't want to answer.

How do you avoid these questions? Shut down the conversation, change the subject, just go quiet. Do what you'd normally do if you needed it to stop. Take a call, go to the bathroom.

If you are embarrassed to answer questions about your decision, you made a shady decision.

On the other hand, if you are tired of answering people's questions about something that is none of their business, then you are merely tired of answering people's questions about something that is none of their business.

And no, I'm not defensive. My kid did EEK (not that it's any of your business).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going back to the OP who may be long gone since she wrote in June....

You avoid where you can. You just state plainly where you have to, and you don't answer questions you don't want to answer.

How do you avoid these questions? Shut down the conversation, change the subject, just go quiet. Do what you'd normally do if you needed it to stop. Take a call, go to the bathroom.

If you are embarrassed to answer questions about your decision, you made a shady decision.

NP here We aren't embarrassed but our daughters developmental issues are none of your business so no I'm not going to talk abojtit freely with complete strangers.

[Anonymous]

What's a 180? Do you mean that it terms of degrees? In my opinion, it's better to speak in terms of radians. Rather than say "Did a 180", you should have said, "Did a pi/2". And do be super accurate, we can apply complex numbers so we know what we're dealing with. I think the most appropriate sentence would have been, "Multiplied the decision most parents make by e^((pi/2)*i) and decided to redshirt my child."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"My kindergartener is already reading on a third grade level. He is so bored in school. It must be because he is gifted." No. He is the same age as a second grader but he is doing his second grade work in a kindergarten class. So mot gifted. Just 'big for his age' or old for his age. You pick.

I find this very insulting. The cut-off in our area is September 1st, and DD was born September 5th. Therefore, we were forced to redshirt and she has always been the oldest in her class. She's now 10 and in 4th grade. She's always been one of the top students in her class, usually gets perfect scores on tests, and reads well above her grade level. But by your logic, it's due to her age, not because of her own personal intellect. Thanks.