Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people want to be free to act with judgment from others?

You can do whatever you want, but you're going to be judged for it.

Your potential future partners will judge you for it.

What you seem to be (willfully) missing is that not everyone will judge women the way you do. While some men might go off on your "congrats for sucking 50 dicks" tangent, other men (yes, even (gasp) "good" men) might not care about the number and focus more on the person, or be impressed with the breadth of experience, or just not care that much at all. Please repeat this to yourself: Other People Are Not Me.

Please make the case how sucking 50 dicks makes you a better person in any way?

You're the one who thinks it matters. How does it make you a worse person?

I don't think the number of dicks sucked in one's life makes a bit difference as to whether you are a better person or a worse person. It doesn't matter.

it shows poor judgment. there is no way a woman who is 24 years old could have found 50 different men she thought were high quality and she really liked in say 7 years of sexual activity. its just impossible.

it is precisely indicative of the qualifications people are making: i.e. well as long as she doesnt do it for the "Wrong" reasons - there is no problem!

well, if you do it the "right" way, then no chance in hell she could find 50 guys in 7 years to fuck the "right way" -
maybe she doesnt even have one single boyfriend? or no committed relationships? well those are red flags too

people are getting so stuck on calling me a woman hater without thinking things through all the way

its temporally impossible to fuck 50 dudes in 7 years the "right way" i.e. "as long as she is not doing it because she has low self esteem, or is pressured, or whatever"

Numbers games are not a good measure of responsible sexual behavior.

There are 84 months in 7 years. A young woman could have a casual hook-up with a different male friend every 6-7 weeks and not reach 84. If she is having fun and is responsible about using condoms, I wouldn't think too much of that as a mother even though the number sounds high to some people.

A young woman could also have 1 regular boyfriend in seven years, but have sex 6 - 12 guys during the course of a spring break week. I would be concerned about that behavior even though the number sounds low to some people.

It's not about numbers. It's about responsible behavior.

you wouldnt be concerned about this hypothetical girl's ability to create and sustain relationships?

No.

From 17-24, I dumped every guy who referred to me as his girlfriend. "Whoops. You said the "g" word. Time for you to go." I wanted casual relationship in high school, college and law school. At 24, one of my casual relationships asked for something more lasting and I agreed. We've been married 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't distill the factors. It reduces women to the number of partners they've had. Do you often need to think of people as one thing or the other to make sense of a situation?

Goodness some people are dense.

I'm not saying this is how people should be judged in general or how you should go about categorizing people all day.

It is for the purposes of discussion.

Let's sort those numbers out by hair color!! What's important is how many blondes a woman can nail before she gets married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there any wives that have had sex with 30, 40, 50 men or more that are happy and monogamous?

Yes, me. My husband knows my number and his is similar. We have been happily married for 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person.

NP - you're willfully misreading the earlier post. She said that she "won't say [she] learned something from each of them," and that she didn't have to sleep with "all" those people. From her post, you can clearly see that, while not every single one of the 30 was an educational experience, many were.

[Anonymous]

Is this misogynist the same one over in the "mommy weight" thread that thinks getting fat is a violation of your marriage vows? The tone and writing are very similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people want to be free to act with judgment from others?

You can do whatever you want, but you're going to be judged for it.

Your potential future partners will judge you for it.

What you seem to be (willfully) missing is that not everyone will judge women the way you do. While some men might go off on your "congrats for sucking 50 dicks" tangent, other men (yes, even (gasp) "good" men) might not care about the number and focus more on the person, or be impressed with the breadth of experience, or just not care that much at all. Please repeat this to yourself: Other People Are Not Me.

Please make the case how sucking 50 dicks makes you a better person in any way?

You're the one who thinks it matters. How does it make you a worse person?

I don't think the number of dicks sucked in one's life makes a bit difference as to whether you are a better person or a worse person. It doesn't matter.

it shows poor judgment. there is no way a woman who is 24 years old could have found 50 different men she thought were high quality and she really liked in say 7 years of sexual activity. its just impossible.

it is precisely indicative of the qualifications people are making: i.e. well as long as she doesnt do it for the "Wrong" reasons - there is no problem!

well, if you do it the "right" way, then no chance in hell she could find 50 guys in 7 years to fuck the "right way" -
maybe she doesnt even have one single boyfriend? or no committed relationships? well those are red flags too

people are getting so stuck on calling me a woman hater without thinking things through all the way

its temporally impossible to fuck 50 dudes in 7 years the "right way" i.e. "as long as she is not doing it because she has low self esteem, or is pressured, or whatever"

Numbers games are not a good measure of responsible sexual behavior.

There are 84 months in 7 years. A young woman could have a casual hook-up with a different male friend every 6-7 weeks and not reach 84. If she is having fun and is responsible about using condoms, I wouldn't think too much of that as a mother even though the number sounds high to some people.

A young woman could also have 1 regular boyfriend in seven years, but have sex 6 - 12 guys during the course of a spring break week. I would be concerned about that behavior even though the number sounds low to some people.

It's not about numbers. It's about responsible behavior.

you wouldnt be concerned about this hypothetical girl's ability to create and sustain relationships?

No.

From 17-24, I dumped every guy who referred to me as his girlfriend. "Whoops. You said the "g" word. Time for you to go." I wanted casual relationship in high school, college and law school. At 24, one of my casual relationships asked for something more lasting and I agreed. We've been married 20 years.

ok but how many of them were there and did you fuck each one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people want to be free to act with judgment from others?

You can do whatever you want, but you're going to be judged for it.

Your potential future partners will judge you for it.

What you seem to be (willfully) missing is that not everyone will judge women the way you do. While some men might go off on your "congrats for sucking 50 dicks" tangent, other men (yes, even (gasp) "good" men) might not care about the number and focus more on the person, or be impressed with the breadth of experience, or just not care that much at all. Please repeat this to yourself: Other People Are Not Me.

Please make the case how sucking 50 dicks makes you a better person in any way?

You're the one who thinks it matters. How does it make you a worse person?

I don't think the number of dicks sucked in one's life makes a bit difference as to whether you are a better person or a worse person. It doesn't matter.

it shows poor judgment. there is no way a woman who is 24 years old could have found 50 different men she thought were high quality and she really liked in say 7 years of sexual activity. its just impossible.

it is precisely indicative of the qualifications people are making: i.e. well as long as she doesnt do it for the "Wrong" reasons - there is no problem!

well, if you do it the "right" way, then no chance in hell she could find 50 guys in 7 years to fuck the "right way" -
maybe she doesnt even have one single boyfriend? or no committed relationships? well those are red flags too

people are getting so stuck on calling me a woman hater without thinking things through all the way

its temporally impossible to fuck 50 dudes in 7 years the "right way" i.e. "as long as she is not doing it because she has low self esteem, or is pressured, or whatever"

Numbers games are not a good measure of responsible sexual behavior.

There are 84 months in 7 years. A young woman could have a casual hook-up with a different male friend every 6-7 weeks and not reach 84. If she is having fun and is responsible about using condoms, I wouldn't think too much of that as a mother even though the number sounds high to some people.

A young woman could also have 1 regular boyfriend in seven years, but have sex 6 - 12 guys during the course of a spring break week. I would be concerned about that behavior even though the number sounds low to some people.

It's not about numbers. It's about responsible behavior.

you wouldnt be concerned about this hypothetical girl's ability to create and sustain relationships?

No.

From 17-24, I dumped every guy who referred to me as his girlfriend. "Whoops. You said the "g" word. Time for you to go." I wanted casual relationship in high school, college and law school. At 24, one of my casual relationships asked for something more lasting and I agreed. We've been married 20 years.

ok but how many of them were there and did you fuck each one?

Not your business. I don't play the numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person.

NP - you're willfully misreading the earlier post. She said that she "won't say [she] learned something from each of them," and that she didn't have to sleep with "all" those people. From her post, you can clearly see that, while not every single one of the 30 was an educational experience, many were.

No, you're missing the point which is that she could have learned those things from her DH, so those other partners didn't have any real value. What one person likes does not translate into what the next person will like. It's about learning your partners and his/her needs not screwing random people.

[Anonymous]

If DD were asking such an immature question such as "how many?" I won't answer, but would certainly think she is not making very mature decisions. How mature is this poster?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person.

NP - you're willfully misreading the earlier post. She said that she "won't say [she] learned something from each of them," and that she didn't have to sleep with "all" those people. From her post, you can clearly see that, while not every single one of the 30 was an educational experience, many were.

No, you're missing the point which is that she could have learned those things from her DH, so those other partners didn't have any real value. What one person likes does not translate into what the next person will like. It's about learning your partners and his/her needs not screwing random people.

In the alternative, her knowledge from other partners can teach DH a few things, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person.

NP - you're willfully misreading the earlier post. She said that she "won't say [she] learned something from each of them," and that she didn't have to sleep with "all" those people. From her post, you can clearly see that, while not every single one of the 30 was an educational experience, many were.

No, you're missing the point which is that she could have learned those things from her DH, so those other partners didn't have any real value. What one person likes does not translate into what the next person will like. It's about learning your partners and his/her needs not screwing random people.

In the alternative, her knowledge from other partners can teach DH a few things, too.

About what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person.

NP - you're willfully misreading the earlier post. She said that she "won't say [she] learned something from each of them," and that she didn't have to sleep with "all" those people. From her post, you can clearly see that, while not every single one of the 30 was an educational experience, many were.

No, you're missing the point which is that she could have learned those things from her DH, so those other partners didn't have any real value. What one person likes does not translate into what the next person will like. It's about learning your partners and his/her needs not screwing random people.

In the alternative, her knowledge from other partners can teach DH a few things, too.

About what?

Sex.

That's what we are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person.

NP - you're willfully misreading the earlier post. She said that she "won't say [she] learned something from each of them," and that she didn't have to sleep with "all" those people. From her post, you can clearly see that, while not every single one of the 30 was an educational experience, many were.

No, you're missing the point which is that she could have learned those things from her DH, so those other partners didn't have any real value. What one person likes does not translate into what the next person will like. It's about learning your partners and his/her needs not screwing random people.

In the alternative, her knowledge from other partners can teach DH a few things, too.

About what?

Sex.

That's what we are talking about.

That argument does not hold water. You can learn what pleasures you as you and your partner discover each other. 10-15 other guys do not have to factor into the equation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

So, essentially those others 29 partners had no value really. And one man's idea of a great BJ does not necessarily translate to the next person.

NP - you're willfully misreading the earlier post. She said that she "won't say [she] learned something from each of them," and that she didn't have to sleep with "all" those people. From her post, you can clearly see that, while not every single one of the 30 was an educational experience, many were.

No, you're missing the point which is that she could have learned those things from her DH, so those other partners didn't have any real value. What one person likes does not translate into what the next person will like. It's about learning your partners and his/her needs not screwing random people.

In the alternative, her knowledge from other partners can teach DH a few things, too.

About what?

Sex.

That's what we are talking about.

That argument does not hold water. You can learn what pleasures you as you and your partner discover each other. 10-15 other guys do not have to factor into the equation.

This is such bullshit. In no other area do we counsel people to only get one opinion or only explore one option.

And no one on this thread has said that women HAVE to have 10-15 partners. If a woman wants to explore sex with 10-15 or 1000 partners, then good for her. If she wants to have sex with a one-and-only-one then good for her.