Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Hummingbird]

Major slut here, not minor. I'm talking record numbers of men that slut-shamers would spend 50+ pages on a spinoff thread discussing.

No regrets. Happy housewife. I married a sexy, fun partner and we are very, very, very exponentially happy!

When you experience n+ cocks, you learn a thing or two about yourself, men and human sexuality.

P.S. Google bought Nest!

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a Muslim household and used to think sex before marriage was the only correct way and being sexually active before marriage - men and women both- was immoral, blah, blah, blah.

Now, I'm older and despite others' views, I know the number of partners a man or woman has does not determine their morality and goodness. You can have a 100 sexual partners as a woman and still be in a good marriage, fulfilled and not cheat. Posters who say they are disgusted by a woman with multiple sexual partners are threatened and insecure. Ideally, I would like my daughter AND son to wait until marriage but I doubt that will be the case and it's fine. It's their life and body to do as they choose and I will NEVER degrade and shame my daughter while calling my son a stud. That is sad.

[Anonymous]

I am very happy that many women and their daughters are willing to have sex with many men.

I am also very happy that many women are not willing to have indiscriminate sex.

What my daughter does and what I think is nobody's business. I hope all sides agree with this.

[Anonymous]

OP, not much to add here, except that your preoccupation with women's "numbers" speaks volumes about your understanding of sexuality. It is simply more nuanced than I think you understand, which is fine, because as individuals we all are entitled to agency over our sex lives. 25 thread pages later, I hope you finally get it.

p.s. 21:21 wins for the use of "n+ cocks". Bravo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people want to be free to act with judgment from others?

You can do whatever you want, but you're going to be judged for it.

Your potential future partners will judge you for it.

What you seem to be (willfully) missing is that not everyone will judge women the way you do. While some men might go off on your "congrats for sucking 50 dicks" tangent, other men (yes, even (gasp) "good" men) might not care about the number and focus more on the person, or be impressed with the breadth of experience, or just not care that much at all. Please repeat this to yourself: Other People Are Not Me.

Please make the case how sucking 50 dicks makes you a better person in any way?

Thanks Dr. Ruth.

By the way you are clearly an idiot.
You're the one who thinks it matters. How does it make you a worse person?

I don't think the number of dicks sucked in one's life makes a bit difference as to whether you are a better person or a worse person. It doesn't matter.

it shows poor judgment. there is no way a woman who is 24 years old could have found 50 different men she thought were high quality and she really liked in say 7 years of sexual activity. its just impossible.

it is precisely indicative of the qualifications people are making: i.e. well as long as she doesnt do it for the "Wrong" reasons - there is no problem!

well, if you do it the "right" way, then no chance in hell she could find 50 guys in 7 years to fuck the "right way" -
maybe she doesnt even have one single boyfriend? or no committed relationships? well those are red flags too

people are getting so stuck on calling me a woman hater without thinking things through all the way

its temporally impossible to fuck 50 dudes in 7 years the "right way" i.e. "as long as she is not doing it because she has low self esteem, or is pressured, or whatever"

[Anonymous]

The pride people feel because of their sexism is just ridiculous. It's ignorance. It's a way to make yourself feel like you're better than others. It is not a quality to be bragged about.

The men who are disgusted by their partner's past have insecurity issues. I don't want to deal with that kind of insecurity in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, not much to add here, except that your preoccupation with women's "numbers" speaks volumes about your understanding of sexuality. It is simply more nuanced than I think you understand, which is fine, because as individuals we all are entitled to agency over our sex lives. 25 thread pages later, I hope you finally get it.

p.s. 21:21 wins for the use of "n+ cocks". Bravo!

Of course it is more nuanced. So many potential factors come into play. But having a conversation using subjective words and implied meanings isn't that useful. I come from the executive management field. We like to use metrics to distill information down into something you can talk about and compare.

I don't think mothers should sit their daughters down and say have sex with X people. Unless maybe it is 0.

The point was to try and force people into considering a number as a way to distill all the factors down into something that we could compare across groups.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't distill the factors. It reduces women to the number of partners they've had. Do you often need to think of people as one thing or the other to make sense of a situation?

[Anonymous]

I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't distill the factors. It reduces women to the number of partners they've had. Do you often need to think of people as one thing or the other to make sense of a situation?

Goodness some people are dense.

I'm not saying this is how people should be judged in general or how you should go about categorizing people all day.

It is for the purposes of discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't distill the factors. It reduces women to the number of partners they've had. Do you often need to think of people as one thing or the other to make sense of a situation?

Goodness some people are dense.

I'm not saying this is how people should be judged in general or how you should go about categorizing people all day.

It is for the purposes of discussion.

Yes, but by distilling the factors down to one - The Number - you exclude so many relevant factors as to make the question meaningless. "The number wouldn't matter as much as X, Y, or Z" is a valid and relevant response. When you keep trying to force posters to focus exclusively on the number, you end up with a stilted, irrelevant discussion at best. So, thanks for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that many men would feel insecure and apprehensive if their girlfriend had sex with 30 or more men before them. No doubt, many such men would not likely marry a woman that had sex with more than 30 men. Many men think women are sluts and permanently damaged and worthless if they've had more than 10 men, let alone 30 or more.

It is entirely possible that a man could feel literal disgust at a woman who has had 30+ partners.

That is not being insecure - that is being smart.

Disgust? Why, though? Wouldn't a man be overjoyed with marrying a woman that's ridden so many men? She's experienced! She's sexually "empowered" and has no hesitation to grab any man that makes her "tingle" and very comfortable in pursuing her desires to get screwed silly as much as she can! Isn't such a passionate, empowered attitude a good thing in a woman?

Blanket statements like this are not applicable to all men. I know men who would be completely comfortable with a woman who had more than 30 partners. They don't view sex as something that is dirty or something that contaminates a person's body.

The kind of disgust you are talking about is based in a view of sex as something dirty and contaminating. It's a superstition.

If you feel that way, bless your heart.

Do you think there are any QUALITY men whose opinion of a women is positively correlated to the number of sex partners she has had?

Oh honey, the thought of you sucking 50 different dicks just makes me so much more attracted to you!
Oh sweetie, I'm so glad you had those threesomes in college! can we have one now? no?
Oh kitten, it was 50 sweaty men that you stuck their dicks in your vagina? WOW that makes me feel really special!


Not a god damn one, thats how many.

I married a "quality man". He has never asked me once about my past sexual experience and I have not asked him about his. It is of zero relevance to our current relationship. We live in the NOW and don't dewll on what is in the rear view mirror.

A quality man has many desirable qualities, one of which is confidence and being secure in himself. It's sexy. Try it.

Only an insecure man who doubts himself would want to get into the trivial details of his partner's past sexual history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding the concept of more sexual partners equal being a better lover to your future husband. I've had 13 partners, but NONE of them fulfilled me like my DH and it's because I'm comfortable with him and over the years, we've learned what we both like and we are comfortable to tell each other what we'd like them to change/work on. IMO, sexual exploration with your one partner teaches you much more than random sex with many people (especially when the individual sexual taste will vary).

It doesn't always, clearly. Since there are many people who have had fulfilling sex lives with just one or two people in their entire life.

I'm the PP upthread who has had 30+ partners. I won't say that I learned something from each of them, but people have various quirks and kinks and personalities in bed. I learned what ones work for me and what ones I don't like as much. I learned various things from various people - like the man I was seeing the summer I was 20, who taught me how to give an awesome BJ. I learned from my boyfriend freshman year of college to appreciate my body for all its imperfections (he was the first one who really appreciated me physically and talked about it to me).

Did I have to sleep with all those people to learn those things? No. It's possible that I would have learned the techniques from DH. But I did learn them from different people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people want to be free to act with judgment from others?

You can do whatever you want, but you're going to be judged for it.

Your potential future partners will judge you for it.

What you seem to be (willfully) missing is that not everyone will judge women the way you do. While some men might go off on your "congrats for sucking 50 dicks" tangent, other men (yes, even (gasp) "good" men) might not care about the number and focus more on the person, or be impressed with the breadth of experience, or just not care that much at all. Please repeat this to yourself: Other People Are Not Me.

Please make the case how sucking 50 dicks makes you a better person in any way?

You're the one who thinks it matters. How does it make you a worse person?

I don't think the number of dicks sucked in one's life makes a bit difference as to whether you are a better person or a worse person. It doesn't matter.

it shows poor judgment. there is no way a woman who is 24 years old could have found 50 different men she thought were high quality and she really liked in say 7 years of sexual activity. its just impossible.

it is precisely indicative of the qualifications people are making: i.e. well as long as she doesnt do it for the "Wrong" reasons - there is no problem!

well, if you do it the "right" way, then no chance in hell she could find 50 guys in 7 years to fuck the "right way" -
maybe she doesnt even have one single boyfriend? or no committed relationships? well those are red flags too

people are getting so stuck on calling me a woman hater without thinking things through all the way

its temporally impossible to fuck 50 dudes in 7 years the "right way" i.e. "as long as she is not doing it because she has low self esteem, or is pressured, or whatever"

Numbers games are not a good measure of responsible sexual behavior.

There are 84 months in 7 years. A young woman could have a casual hook-up with a different male friend every 6-7 weeks and not reach 84. If she is having fun and is responsible about using condoms, I wouldn't think too much of that as a mother even though the number sounds high to some people.

A young woman could also have 1 regular boyfriend in seven years, but have sex 6 - 12 guys during the course of a spring break week. I would be concerned about that behavior even though the number sounds low to some people.

It's not about numbers. It's about responsible behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people want to be free to act with judgment from others?

You can do whatever you want, but you're going to be judged for it.

Your potential future partners will judge you for it.

What you seem to be (willfully) missing is that not everyone will judge women the way you do. While some men might go off on your "congrats for sucking 50 dicks" tangent, other men (yes, even (gasp) "good" men) might not care about the number and focus more on the person, or be impressed with the breadth of experience, or just not care that much at all. Please repeat this to yourself: Other People Are Not Me.

Please make the case how sucking 50 dicks makes you a better person in any way?

You're the one who thinks it matters. How does it make you a worse person?

I don't think the number of dicks sucked in one's life makes a bit difference as to whether you are a better person or a worse person. It doesn't matter.

it shows poor judgment. there is no way a woman who is 24 years old could have found 50 different men she thought were high quality and she really liked in say 7 years of sexual activity. its just impossible.

it is precisely indicative of the qualifications people are making: i.e. well as long as she doesnt do it for the "Wrong" reasons - there is no problem!

well, if you do it the "right" way, then no chance in hell she could find 50 guys in 7 years to fuck the "right way" -
maybe she doesnt even have one single boyfriend? or no committed relationships? well those are red flags too

people are getting so stuck on calling me a woman hater without thinking things through all the way

its temporally impossible to fuck 50 dudes in 7 years the "right way" i.e. "as long as she is not doing it because she has low self esteem, or is pressured, or whatever"

Numbers games are not a good measure of responsible sexual behavior.

There are 84 months in 7 years. A young woman could have a casual hook-up with a different male friend every 6-7 weeks and not reach 84. If she is having fun and is responsible about using condoms, I wouldn't think too much of that as a mother even though the number sounds high to some people.

A young woman could also have 1 regular boyfriend in seven years, but have sex 6 - 12 guys during the course of a spring break week. I would be concerned about that behavior even though the number sounds low to some people.

It's not about numbers. It's about responsible behavior.

you wouldnt be concerned about this hypothetical girl's ability to create and sustain relationships?