SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

[Anonymous]

Those are not the only 2 options.

C. SAHM who is independently wealthy or has a high earning spouse who does not want her to go back to work. In case of divorce or death, SAHM will be ok financially.

D. Working mom with flexible hours. Working mom with a spouse with flexible hours.

E. Part time, consulting or volunteer work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else shocked by the laziness of SAHMs in this thread citing the inability to work 40 hours a week and lack of leisure time? Isn’t this how the working world functions?

I suspect that many of the SAHMs here couldn’t hack it in the real world and make these excuses to continue to live off their husbands.

Well, now that is an original take!!

I am sure that you are also amazed that these losers SAHMs are able to marry alpha high earning husbands who can fund their lifestyles? Do you wonder why the world is so unfair or why the laziest people live such pampered lives?

Do you know why many working women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and they are single, but people who you consider essentially incompetent have husbands, have kids, and don't have to earn a single cent? Do you wonder what you are missing in your wonderful analysis? Could it be that these SAHMs could hack life, marriage, kids far better than hacking some low paying job?

You both sound like aholes who belong together.

Who has a better life?

A. Woman who works a demanding job and brings home a paycheck. Has kids and mostly outsources household chores. DH expects her to work. After all they are equals (except the pregnancy, childbirth, pregnancy and fact DH didn’t take parental leave). They both think women who stay home are stupid and a waste of a college degree.


B. Woman who stays home. Gets to spend more time with her children. Doesn’t earn a paycheck. Will lose out if divorce happens. Her DH doesn’t understand why she hasn’t returned to work and mentions it every once in a while. DH doesn’t do anything at home besides take kids to a soccer game on the weekends. Dinner shows up on the table nightly, food in the fridge, house is clean and well decorated,kids have appropriately sized clothing, kids are on track at school and socially, but DH expects this AND a paycheck.


Both seem like terrible options. No wonder women are miserable.

Guys dont care about decorated house, probably not much about clean either. Appropriately sized clothes? That’s hilarious. A dad can order off Amazon too.

ughh...mine does.

Decorating the house is one of our biggest ongoing arguments. He wants to have friends over and have comfortable places for adults to sit and hang out. He wants it to be colorful, and he wants it to look put together without being fussy or uncomfortable.
I am, apparently, supposed to know how to do this myself or know who to hire to get this done because I have ovaries.

[Anonymous]

This is why I'm happy I married a conservative. Republican men see a wife at home as a status symbol and they are proud to take care of her. Liberal men are made uncomfortable by this dynamic once the necessity of care for infants is past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else shocked by the laziness of SAHMs in this thread citing the inability to work 40 hours a week and lack of leisure time? Isn’t this how the working world functions?

I suspect that many of the SAHMs here couldn’t hack it in the real world and make these excuses to continue to live off their husbands.

Well, now that is an original take!!

I am sure that you are also amazed that these losers SAHMs are able to marry alpha high earning husbands who can fund their lifestyles? Do you wonder why the world is so unfair or why the laziest people live such pampered lives?

Do you know why many working women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and they are single, but people who you consider essentially incompetent have husbands, have kids, and don't have to earn a single cent? Do you wonder what you are missing in your wonderful analysis? Could it be that these SAHMs could hack life, marriage, kids far better than hacking some low paying job?

This is hilarious…so the bottom line is that you think a man is a plan. You denigrate women who work but they have a way better work ethic than someone like you who is leech. Any woman can marry and have children…it’s no big deal. Having the gumption to build a professional career is way more impressive. By the way, it is quite clear that you PP have no writing ability and probably aren’t very well-educated. So you’re very defensive about your SAHM “hack”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else shocked by the laziness of SAHMs in this thread citing the inability to work 40 hours a week and lack of leisure time? Isn’t this how the working world functions?

I suspect that many of the SAHMs here couldn’t hack it in the real world and make these excuses to continue to live off their husbands.

Well, now that is an original take!!

I am sure that you are also amazed that these losers SAHMs are able to marry alpha high earning husbands who can fund their lifestyles? Do you wonder why the world is so unfair or why the laziest people live such pampered lives?

Do you know why many working women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and they are single, but people who you consider essentially incompetent have husbands, have kids, and don't have to earn a single cent? Do you wonder what you are missing in your wonderful analysis? Could it be that these SAHMs could hack life, marriage, kids far better than hacking some low paying job?

You both sound like aholes who belong together.

Who has a better life?

A. Woman who works a demanding job and brings home a paycheck. Has kids and mostly outsources household chores. DH expects her to work. After all they are equals (except the pregnancy, childbirth, pregnancy and fact DH didn’t take parental leave). They both think women who stay home are stupid and a waste of a college degree.


B. Woman who stays home. Gets to spend more time with her children. Doesn’t earn a paycheck. Will lose out if divorce happens. Her DH doesn’t understand why she hasn’t returned to work and mentions it every once in a while. DH doesn’t do anything at home besides take kids to a soccer game on the weekends. Dinner shows up on the table nightly, food in the fridge, house is clean and well decorated,kids have appropriately sized clothing, kids are on track at school and socially, but DH expects this AND a paycheck.


Both seem like terrible options. No wonder women are miserable.

You realize there are lots of combinations. Many Dad's help out with the kids after work. My spouse does. Its not all or nothing.

Many men wealthy enough to have a forever SAHW; where it doesn’t matter at all if she works or not for an income, don’t have 9-5 jobs. They are often working late into the night, on weekends, traveling, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm happy I married a conservative. Republican men see a wife at home as a status symbol and they are proud to take care of her. Liberal men are made uncomfortable by this dynamic once the necessity of care for infants is past.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm happy I married a conservative. Republican men see a wife at home as a status symbol and they are proud to take care of her. Liberal men are made uncomfortable by this dynamic once the necessity of care for infants is past.

This.

The idea that a woman needs to be taken care of reeks of patriarchy. Go back to the 1950s Donna Reed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else shocked by the laziness of SAHMs in this thread citing the inability to work 40 hours a week and lack of leisure time? Isn’t this how the working world functions?

I suspect that many of the SAHMs here couldn’t hack it in the real world and make these excuses to continue to live off their husbands.

Well, now that is an original take!!

I am sure that you are also amazed that these losers SAHMs are able to marry alpha high earning husbands who can fund their lifestyles? Do you wonder why the world is so unfair or why the laziest people live such pampered lives?

Do you know why many working women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and they are single, but people who you consider essentially incompetent have husbands, have kids, and don't have to earn a single cent? Do you wonder what you are missing in your wonderful analysis? Could it be that these SAHMs could hack life, marriage, kids far better than hacking some low paying job?

Or could it be that their husbands treat them like crap but they're too dependent on him to stand up for themselves and leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm happy I married a conservative. Republican men see a wife at home as a status symbol and they are proud to take care of her. Liberal men are made uncomfortable by this dynamic once the necessity of care for infants is past.

This.

Liberal or conservative— the majority of women cannot afford to have their wives stay at home. Half of all Americans made less than $45,000.

Seriously. Put your politics aside and acknowledge the dire reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those are not the only 2 options.

C. SAHM who is independently wealthy or has a high earning spouse who does not want her to go back to work. In case of divorce or death, SAHM will be ok financially.

D. Working mom with flexible hours. Working mom with a spouse with flexible hours.

E. Part time, consulting or volunteer work.

Volunteer work doesn’t pay. How is that different from what she’s doing now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm happy I married a conservative. Republican men see a wife at home as a status symbol and they are proud to take care of her. Liberal men are made uncomfortable by this dynamic once the necessity of care for infants is past.

This.

Liberal or conservative— the majority of women cannot afford to have their wives stay at home. Half of all Americans made less than $45,000.

Seriously. Put your politics aside and acknowledge the dire reality.

Actually many can on that income. They have a lower cost of living/standards and it would cost more in child care than they earn. You don't have to be wealthy, you have to budget the money well, but that's regardless of working or SAH.

[Anonymous]

My husband stays home. It’s awesome. And because we split everything evenly for the first 15 years of child-rearing, I **really** appreciate how fantastic having a SAH spouse is. That said, our last child is now driving and . . . It’s time for him to earn again. I’d like the break from the rat race that he’s gotten, and if it’s not going to be a pause like his it’s sure as hell going to be early retirement. THe more he earns now, the sooner we’ll get there TOGETHER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else shocked by the laziness of SAHMs in this thread citing the inability to work 40 hours a week and lack of leisure time? Isn’t this how the working world functions?

I suspect that many of the SAHMs here couldn’t hack it in the real world and make these excuses to continue to live off their husbands.

Well, now that is an original take!!

I am sure that you are also amazed that these losers SAHMs are able to marry alpha high earning husbands who can fund their lifestyles? Do you wonder why the world is so unfair or why the laziest people live such pampered lives?

Do you know why many working women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and they are single, but people who you consider essentially incompetent have husbands, have kids, and don't have to earn a single cent? Do you wonder what you are missing in your wonderful analysis? Could it be that these SAHMs could hack life, marriage, kids far better than hacking some low paying job?

This is hilarious…so the bottom line is that you think a man is a plan. You denigrate women who work but they have a way better work ethic than someone like you who is leech. Any woman can marry and have children…it’s no big deal. Having the gumption to build a professional career is way more impressive. By the way, it is quite clear that you PP have no writing ability and probably aren’t very well-educated. So you’re very defensive about your SAHM “hack”.

No one is defensive about being a SAHM. SAHMs are attacked on DCUM precisely because they are well educated and rich. Being a SAHM in DCUM is a status signal. You do understand that this is a bloody expensive place and most people are working to pay bills?

As far as kids are concerned, I don't know about most people but for my DH and I, having kids was the biggest blessing of our lives. For me, my kids are a great example of superior nature and nurture. I sometime wonder if I had kids who had average intellect, plain looks and annoying temperament, would I have stayed at home? Would I have breastfed them as long as I did? I know for sure if they were like many other children who I see in their school ...heck I would have fed them rice cereal at birth so that I could leave them with a care giver and gone back to work without a pang of guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm happy I married a conservative. Republican men see a wife at home as a status symbol and they are proud to take care of her. Liberal men are made uncomfortable by this dynamic once the necessity of care for infants is past.

This.

The idea that a woman needs to be taken care of reeks of patriarchy. Go back to the 1950s Donna Reed.

Not having equal pay, work place glass ceiling, inability to have flex schedule, hostile work enviornment, no paid maternity leave...now that is what reels of patriarchy in US.

Choosing to earn a paycheck for the family OR Give birth and look after home and children - that is a feminist choice.

While it was sad, in some ways, the mass exodus of women from the workplace during the pandemic was a clear indication that working women have a lack of choices and they cannot do their work until some other lower paying WOHM will clean their house and take care of their kids. They were truly fu$$cked up when schools and daycares closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else shocked by the laziness of SAHMs in this thread citing the inability to work 40 hours a week and lack of leisure time? Isn’t this how the working world functions?

I suspect that many of the SAHMs here couldn’t hack it in the real world and make these excuses to continue to live off their husbands.

Well, now that is an original take!!

I am sure that you are also amazed that these losers SAHMs are able to marry alpha high earning husbands who can fund their lifestyles? Do you wonder why the world is so unfair or why the laziest people live such pampered lives?

Do you know why many working women in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and they are single, but people who you consider essentially incompetent have husbands, have kids, and don't have to earn a single cent? Do you wonder what you are missing in your wonderful analysis? Could it be that these SAHMs could hack life, marriage, kids far better than hacking some low paying job?

Or could it be that their husbands treat them like crap but they're too dependent on him to stand up for themselves and leave?

LOL! Here is another anecdata for you. The 3 women who were beaten up by their husbands and who still cannot leave him are working women who earn more than their DHs. Could it be that they don't want to lose out financially and pay alimony? But, it is ok. If thinking that SAHMs are living a bad life makes you feel better about working - absolutely go for it!