I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I have been discussing me going back to work PT when youngest is in school. I made blueberry muffins today for my older kids' after school snack. He ate one and said no one I'm ever going back to work.

I just....
There are no words.

Do you have a daughter, PP? Are you happy with your daughter staying home and her sole purpose in life is baking blueberry muffins for her DH?

I hope my daughter has the option to stay at home like I do, definitely, if that’s what she wants and she and her spouse can afford it.

[Anonymous]

^ not PP but another happy SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Open the marriage.

Had to post before that dude came in.

Haha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

Her kids are in HS... most HS students are gone from 7a-6p... she was a rockstar 10 years ago but now she is lazy.

If you do not live in the house you really have zero idea if she is lazy. You are just guessing. Again, we shouldnt automatically believ the op just because he is the narrator

[Anonymous]

I made these strawberry white chocolate cupcakes on sunday: https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/white-chocolate-strawberry-cupcakes/

On Monday, I made french lentils with moroccan spiced salmon.

Last night, I heated up tomato soup but made amazing buttermilk biscuits.

I make around $500k a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

Her kids are in HS... most HS students are gone from 7a-6p... she was a rockstar 10 years ago but now she is lazy.

If you do not live in the house you really have zero idea if she is lazy. You are just guessing. Again, we shouldnt automatically believ the op just because he is the narrator

Of course not, it's better to invent another story, and then project your own biases onto it. Much funner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

I'm assuming the DW does everything home related as well. I sense some jealousy from women who would love to be in that position. Probably because they have to pick up the slack from their husbands who won't do their fair share at home.

You are assuming wrong. The OP said many times he is doing his fair share.

Not going to take the word of a whiny low earning wuss who needs to post on DCUM. I bet his wife writes about how terrible he is in this forum too. What a bunch of losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I have been discussing me going back to work PT when youngest is in school. I made blueberry muffins today for my older kids' after school snack. He ate one and said no one I'm ever going back to work.

I just....
There are no words.

Agree. This is so damn silly, I hope it was written in jest.

I manage to bake for my family AND have a full time job. I feel like Superwoman.

Me too! I even manage the finances and keep my kids off the pipe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I have been discussing me going back to work PT when youngest is in school. I made blueberry muffins today for my older kids' after school snack. He ate one and said no one I'm ever going back to work.

My DW makes over $500k and her hobby is cooking. WINNER!!! Being an excellent cook and working are not mutually exclusive.

Actually, you are fibbing about your HHI. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what you can’t see..

Salary.com Reveals Stay-at-Home Moms are Worth $162,581 a Year

https://www.hrdive.com/press-release/20180514-salarycom-reveals-stay-at-home-moms-are-worth-162581-a-year/

WALTHAM, MA (May 13, 2018) - If stay-at-home moms earned an annual salary for all the hours they put toward tending to the duties of their households and children, how much would they earn? Today – in honor of Mother’s Day – Salary.com, the leading SaaS provider of cloud-based compensation data and analytics, released its 18thannual Mom Salary survey, which puts a price tag on a priceless job: motherhood.

By selecting a handful of jobs that reflect a day in the life of a mom and pulling the market compensation data for those same roles, Salary.com determined that the median annual salary of a mother for 2018 is $162,581– rising nearly $5,000 from 2017 calculations.

Through surveying thousands of working and stay-at-home moms, the 18thannual Mom Salary Survey determined a mother’s most time-consuming tasks – and the hours spent on each one. Since 2000, Salary.com has tracked how a mom’s role has morphed over the years, and how the value of this hybrid role has continued to rise. With a nearly 96-hour work-week and a six-figure annual rate, moms may be the most valuable workers in the country.

“While it’s difficult to put a price tag on a job like being a mother, we at Salary.com would like to honor all the moms out there who work their hardest day-in and day-out,” said Alys Reynders Scott, Chief Marketing Officer, Salary.com. “We would like to recognize both professional and stay-at-home Moms on their unwavering dedication to their families and other responsibilities. The work ethic does not go unnoticed or unappreciated, and we were not surprised at the substantial salary we calculated this year. It is money well-earned.”

In addition to traditional roles like performing the duties of a cook, housekeeper, nurse, and nutritionist, moms of today have more responsibilities than ever before. For example, with the rise of technology, moms are expected to sharpen their knowledge around computers, tablets, smartphones, and social media – making them extremely well-rounded in their skillsets and very valuable in terms of earning potential.

Additional insights from Salary.com’s 2018 survey data on how much a mother’s work is worth can be accessed at: https://www.companalyst.com/blog/stay-at-home-mom/.

About Salary.com
Salary.com is the leading SaaS provider of cloud-based compensation market data and analytics. Founded in 1999, the Company serves approximately 4,000 business-to-business customers worldwide with its market-leading CompAnalyst platform, designed to accelerate compensation workflows and improve efficiency. Through its Salary Wizard and consumer website, Salary.com delivers continually updated, reliable market pay data and career content to hundreds of thousands of consumers each year. The Company is committed to helping organizations drive company success by aligning compensation practices with recruiting, performance and development initiatives through easy-to-access data and meaningful insights. For more information, please visit the company website at www.salary.com.

As a WOHM with a spouse who is a WOHF, does that mean that we, too, get an additional $162k in compensation for doing all of these things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we had kids, DW became a SAHM and our discussion was always that she’d return to the workforce at some point. It’s now 15 years later, kids are in high school, and she is working part-time. I just did our taxes and she only earned $18k last year - I am a GS-15 so by no means a rainmaker. We are behind on savings, college 529, etc and I’m tired of having to agonize over every financial decision because our finances are so precarious. DW has a Masters and could be making $60-70K full time but doesn’t want to - she has many stay at home friends who are married to rainmakers, but that’s not me. I told her tonight that I’m at my wits end and she needs to step up. She doesn’t want to work full time - neither do I but I suck it up for the family. I’m very frustrated and can’t get DW to pick up the slack. I am very involved at home and with the kids so she has supper there. How can I make her understand that we can’t always get what we want?!?

Your communication skills may be terrible or you both are not on the same page. Sounds like your marriage, future, finances all are in a not good place. The amount you make is not insubstantial. You could not save on that? How did you overextend yourself? Ask yourself that question and do some cost cutting measures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

I'm assuming the DW does everything home related as well. I sense some jealousy from women who would love to be in that position. Probably because they have to pick up the slack from their husbands who won't do their fair share at home.

You are assuming wrong. The OP said many times he is doing his fair share.

Not going to take the word of a whiny low earning wuss who needs to post on DCUM. I bet his wife writes about how terrible he is in this forum too. What a bunch of losers.

What a terrible person you are, PP. Hope my darling son never meets you and your ilk. Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

They both raise their kids.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Got a neighbor. He cooks. He cleans. He works FT. His wife works PT. His kids are fantastic. He drives them everywhere when he actually should make them walk. But, one flaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what you can’t see..

Salary.com Reveals Stay-at-Home Moms are Worth $162,581 a Year

https://www.hrdive.com/press-release/20180514-salarycom-reveals-stay-at-home-moms-are-worth-162581-a-year/

WALTHAM, MA (May 13, 2018) - If stay-at-home moms earned an annual salary for all the hours they put toward tending to the duties of their households and children, how much would they earn? Today – in honor of Mother’s Day – Salary.com, the leading SaaS provider of cloud-based compensation data and analytics, released its 18thannual Mom Salary survey, which puts a price tag on a priceless job: motherhood.

By selecting a handful of jobs that reflect a day in the life of a mom and pulling the market compensation data for those same roles, Salary.com determined that the median annual salary of a mother for 2018 is $162,581– rising nearly $5,000 from 2017 calculations.

Through surveying thousands of working and stay-at-home moms, the 18thannual Mom Salary Survey determined a mother’s most time-consuming tasks – and the hours spent on each one. Since 2000, Salary.com has tracked how a mom’s role has morphed over the years, and how the value of this hybrid role has continued to rise. With a nearly 96-hour work-week and a six-figure annual rate, moms may be the most valuable workers in the country.

“While it’s difficult to put a price tag on a job like being a mother, we at Salary.com would like to honor all the moms out there who work their hardest day-in and day-out,” said Alys Reynders Scott, Chief Marketing Officer, Salary.com. “We would like to recognize both professional and stay-at-home Moms on their unwavering dedication to their families and other responsibilities. The work ethic does not go unnoticed or unappreciated, and we were not surprised at the substantial salary we calculated this year. It is money well-earned.”

In addition to traditional roles like performing the duties of a cook, housekeeper, nurse, and nutritionist, moms of today have more responsibilities than ever before. For example, with the rise of technology, moms are expected to sharpen their knowledge around computers, tablets, smartphones, and social media – making them extremely well-rounded in their skillsets and very valuable in terms of earning potential.

Additional insights from Salary.com’s 2018 survey data on how much a mother’s work is worth can be accessed at: https://www.companalyst.com/blog/stay-at-home-mom/.

About Salary.com
Salary.com is the leading SaaS provider of cloud-based compensation market data and analytics. Founded in 1999, the Company serves approximately 4,000 business-to-business customers worldwide with its market-leading CompAnalyst platform, designed to accelerate compensation workflows and improve efficiency. Through its Salary Wizard and consumer website, Salary.com delivers continually updated, reliable market pay data and career content to hundreds of thousands of consumers each year. The Company is committed to helping organizations drive company success by aligning compensation practices with recruiting, performance and development initiatives through easy-to-access data and meaningful insights. For more information, please visit the company website at www.salary.com.

As a WOHM with a spouse who is a WOHF, does that mean that we, too, get an additional $162k in compensation for doing all of these things?

No it is not compensated. It is labor worth that amount for the family. But you are welcome to pay yourself that much from your income if you want. Or do it for free like the SAHM does for her family or pay someone that amount if you want to outsource it.

In all of this conversation it is important to understand that everyone is different in how much money they need to meet their dreams and goals. For many families, 150k HhI is a kingly amount. You either live below your means or you bring in more monet There is no other way to meet your financial goals.

OP and his wife are not on the same page. I think that there is no love lost between these two. I am a SAHM, and I would go and work on a fast food place or become an Uber driver if my family needed the money. There is something hinkey in OPs situation. It is not financial issues but marital issues.