I am heartbroken

[Anonymous]

How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

Nope!

This isn't complicated. Stop trying to insist OP should insist on helping her DD who is an adult. Who, OP says basically did this on purpose, with zero thought on how she will take care of a child. She has no job, no education and has made immature poor choices prior to this.

I volunteer with women and children of domestic violence. I have worked in Foster care. This will not end well for anyone. Statistics are clear on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

Nope!

This isn't complicated. Stop trying to insist OP should insist on helping her DD who is an adult. Who, OP says basically did this on purpose, with zero thought on how she will take care of a child. She has no job, no education and has made immature poor choices prior to this.

I volunteer with women and children of domestic violence. I have worked in Foster care. This will not end well for anyone. Statistics are clear on this.

She won’t end up like that with family support.

OPis just being emotional when she said she did it on purpose. Her D did not say that and she was on the pill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

Nope!

This isn't complicated. Stop trying to insist OP should insist on helping her DD who is an adult. Who, OP says basically did this on purpose, with zero thought on how she will take care of a child. She has no job, no education and has made immature poor choices prior to this.

I volunteer with women and children of domestic violence. I have worked in Foster care. This will not end well for anyone. Statistics are clear on this.

I never insisted she should help, and plenty of successful people were born to teen parents. Plenty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

Nope!

This isn't complicated. Stop trying to insist OP should insist on helping her DD who is an adult. Who, OP says basically did this on purpose, with zero thought on how she will take care of a child. She has no job, no education and has made immature poor choices prior to this.

I volunteer with women and children of domestic violence. I have worked in Foster care. This will not end well for anyone. Statistics are clear on this.

I never insisted she should help, and plenty of successful people were born to teen parents. Plenty.

You may not be one of the ones insisting OP should help - but there are plenty who are.

And the fact that plenty of successful people have been born to teen mothers is not the point.

The point is that this is a legal adult making decisions that could likely have long lasting impacts on the OP - impacts that can be avoided by terminating a pregnancy that, for all intents and purposes does not make sense at this juncture of her daughter’s life. Having a child is not a right, or a need. It is a want that should be carefully considered and planned. Any other option is pure lunacy.

[Anonymous]

I was a mom at 19 although married so a little different, as I have detailed in a previous comment.

Here is my advice to you OP, based on my experience with my own mother:

Do not push your daughter away, offer her your love and moral support in a non-judgmental way. Let her know that your love for her is bigger than any expectations you had for her education, her career, and her future that may not actually happen now.

However, this does not mean that you offer financial support or a place to live to raise the baby or babysitting services if you do not want to. Those are separate issues that you must decide if you can offer or not.

I would suggest that your daughter needs your love and moral support as she navigates her way through this situation of her own making, hopefully with the help of the baby's father. I can't see where rejection, or banishing her from your home, will go well at all or help her or even help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

I’m a child of a teen Mom (she got pregnant at 19). She put me through college, scrimped for my wedding, helped with my kids (had in my 30s), and I miss her every day. She wanted us (my sister and I) to wait to have kids but I felt very loved and loved her immensely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

I’m a child of a teen Mom (she got pregnant at 19). She put me through college, scrimped for my wedding, helped with my kids (had in my 30s), and I miss her every day. She wanted us (my sister and I) to wait to have kids but I felt very loved and loved her immensely.

Good thing she didn’t ask for advice here, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hope you weren't planning on settling into retirement OP. Make sure she gets child support, even if she doesn't need the money, set it aside for the child to have.

As a mom of a boy, I feel so bad for the father in this situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I didn't handle the situation good, I was so mad at her that I told her she can live with her Father. He picked her and all her clothing up that night. I cannot comprehend how she thinks this is a good idea. She does have a boyfriend who is supportive, but no job, no money or place to live (other than with parents). This is the dumbest choice she made (and she made many prior to this). I begged her not to get pregnant when and she promised she wouldn't. Well - that didn't work.

Ok never mind the father is not the sharpest tool in the shed either.

OP, I am sorry. Some people are like that. I have a friend who is the kindest soul but she is crazy about kids, had two when she was 25 and before finishing college, and would have like ten more if her husband didn’t put a stop to it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

I’m a child of a teen Mom (she got pregnant at 19). She put me through college, scrimped for my wedding, helped with my kids (had in my 30s), and I miss her every day. She wanted us (my sister and I) to wait to have kids but I felt very loved and loved her immensely.

I had the opposite. We were fed and clean, etc. etc. but she was forced to "give up her adolescence" and marry a man who ended up being an abusive, hateful bigot. She reminded me about the quote many times. Once I was 18, she all but washed her hands of any parenting role and went on to have a delayed adolescence. Shockingly, we are not close.

The town I grew up in had a very high teen pregnancy rate in the 90's (rust belt state). For every one of your story, and the happy ending, there are many that did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hope you weren't planning on settling into retirement OP. Make sure she gets child support, even if she doesn't need the money, set it aside for the child to have.

As a mom of a boy, I feel so bad for the father in this situation

This should be good . . . . why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hope you weren't planning on settling into retirement OP. Make sure she gets child support, even if she doesn't need the money, set it aside for the child to have.

As a mom of a boy, I feel so bad for the father in this situation

Why? He was obviously a willing participant in this.

After the baby is born these two young ADULTS can go to court to establish custody/visitation and child support. Depending on the circumstances it's possible he could even get more custody of the baby than OP's daughter, and OP's daughter could be the one paying child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

I’m a child of a teen Mom (she got pregnant at 19). She put me through college, scrimped for my wedding, helped with my kids (had in my 30s), and I miss her every day. She wanted us (my sister and I) to wait to have kids but I felt very loved and loved her immensely.

Good thing she didn’t ask for advice here, huh?

That point doesn't make sense. From menarche on, most women could get pregnant every month or so.

I got my first period at 9. If I'd gotten pregnant at 10, would you have said to my child "Good thing nobody told your mom to wait until she was older to have sex?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many people insisting on abortion or it ruining everyone’s life are children of teen mothers? I bet a bunch.

Nope!

This isn't complicated. Stop trying to insist OP should insist on helping her DD who is an adult. Who, OP says basically did this on purpose, with zero thought on how she will take care of a child. She has no job, no education and has made immature poor choices prior to this.

I volunteer with women and children of domestic violence. I have worked in Foster care. This will not end well for anyone. Statistics are clear on this.

She won’t end up like that with family support.

OPis just being emotional when she said she did it on purpose. Her D did not say that and she was on the pill.

OP here - yes, I am being emotional and no she was not on the pill. even though I got the pill for her, she did not take it and yes, this was on purpose.