Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 pages? What are you all talking about?!

One group of posters still live like kids in dorms or share houses, where nothing is private and there are most likely people drinking and making out in every corner of every room.

The other group of posters have homes with entertaining space(s) and then areas of the house that are not entertaining spaces, and they expect guests who are at their house for an event to stay where the event is being held unless they're invited or ask to go elsewhere.

The first group can't understand why the second group isn't comfortable with them just poking around the entire house whenever they feel like it (including going up stairs that they weren't welcomed to go up, or opening doors that they weren't welcomed to open) to satisfy their curiosity.

The second group wonders how to identify the first group so we can not invite them to our events.

+ at least seven: my mom, my five sisters, and I

Exaggerate much? There appears to be a poster on this thread who equates not walling off their upstairs to allowing guests to go through their underwear drawer. The poster needs to find a better class of friends.

Your friends wander in/out of your master bedroom like it's grand central station. My friends know better...

Yup. My home is a fun place not a fortress. There are kids running around and playing adults who come and interact with them. I know that you will need to take a Xanax after reading this.

We have a playroom. A yard. And the kids are supervised. They are not allowed to tear all over the house and go into rooms that are off limits. They still manage to have a good time even with all those crazy rules...

Great. That’s your home. Other people have an even better time without all these crazy rules.

Because finding a Hostess cupcake smashed into the bedspread in your master bedroom is way more fun. How about finding that one of the little darlings flushed your makeup down the toilet in the master bathroom. Ha! So funny!

Seriously, dp. I've hosted my fair share of play dates and there is pretty much NO upside in allowing kids to run into your office, master bedroom/bath, formal living room, etc. Some rooms really should be off limits.

Again, befriend a better class of people. The company you keep speaks volumes about you. And your example show that your friends and their children are very poorly behaved.

+1. Seriously. I don’t make rooms off limits to my kids and their friends, but I do ask that food stays in eating areas (kitchen and dining room.).

Why on earth should a child guest be allowed to play in your master bedroom/bathroom? That makes pretty much zero sense. And, yes, most parents do not allow that.

Play dates happen in the playroom, the basement, the child's own bedroom and outside. These are very, very basic rules that take a minimal effort to establish.

We don't have a playroom or a backyard, basement or a backyard, so yes, our playdates happen all over the house. Enjoy your McMansion!

NP. So you...don't have any bedrooms, then? You and your husband sleep in the middle of the foyer, or the living room? And kids are just allowed to play on your bed and open your drawers? How very odd, not a single bedroom in your house.

Enjoy your studio apartment!

So you...don't know how to read? PP said they didn't have a playroom backyard or a basement. Didn't say they didn't have any bedrooms. Many many families live in 1 or 2BR apartments in the DC area. Some even live in studios. Try exiting your bubble some time.

+1 We live in DC and we have plenty of apartment playdates and bedrooms are part of the play areas. And no, the kids aren't allowed to open drawers. Parent your children better if that's the kind of behavior they're capable of.

+1 Entering a bedroom is not equal to snooping through someone's drawers. Sorry you've had bad experiences with your guests.

Trespassing is not necessarily the same thing as breaking and entering. It is still wrong, though. Sorry your guests don't know better!

Trespassing is a legal definition. Wouldn't be valid for someone you invited to your home. You need to make a better class of friends if you need to have the police involved when you have guests.

Walking into a host's private space is not necessarily the same thing as rifling through their paperwork or snooping through their drawers but it is still an intrusion into their personal space. Always ask before you assume that is o.k.

It's a shame that you are teaching your children such a lack of boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. For the "every space is a public space is MY house" people - serious question, what harm is there in ASKING when you are in someone else's house, before assuming that their whole house is open as yours is? Maybe it is and they will say go right ahead, and maybe it isn't and they'll direct you somewhere else. But there IS potential harm in barging ahead without asking - you could come across sensitive financial papers the host was working on in their private office, a large pile of dirty laundry or unmentionables in the main sleeping space, or delicate and expensive equipment in a craft or work room - because the host didn't expect their private spaces to be made public for a party. Or just more generally piss your host off because they weren't prepared for guests in that area of the house!

And this goes for houses of any size - if I visited someone in a studio apartment who had a partition screen blocking a corner of their room, I'd *never* peek behind the screen without asking first and with good reason. ("I need to change my shirt and the bathroom is occupied" is a good reason. "I'm curious" is not.) *Everyone* has a right to some private space, and you need to let each host define that for themselves - and the only way you'll know is if you ASK FIRST. You even acknowledge this when you say kids don't open drawers on playdates - so your drawers are your private space. Some people need to block off whole rooms. How hard is this to understand?

This has been a long running point of contention with my mother in law. She is an extrovert and a neat freak, and lived for 40 years in a single floor ranch where the master bedroom opened directly onto the family room. Their bedroom door was always wide open and I *still* asked every time before I went in. She always looked at me a little puzzled but said "sure" every time, and no further harm came. OTOH, I'm an extreme introvert, an admitted slob, and fiercely private. My bedroom is my SANCTUARY. I need one space where I can relax and not have to be "on" all the time. My kids are not even allowed in if my DH or I isn't there (much less my own mother - since I'm sure someone will say I'm discriminating against my MIL). It's not about *her* at all, and yet it took many many conversations before she finally stopped going in uninvited, and I know she still feels hurt by it.

FWIW, we threw a large party recently, and I decided not to leave it up to chance - I locked all the bedroom doors, leaving open only the upstairs kids/hall bathroom (which folks were welcome to use if the other two were not convenient). I even proactively offered a bedroom to the one nursing mom who came (but she declined). I'm sad that I have to do this, but based on this thread alone, I'm glad I did.

1) For me, family is family. We don't need to ask to enter a room, and I love and trust my family and would never worry about them snooping or damaging things. If they need to get a pencil from my desk or use my bathroom because the ground floor one is occupied, they don't need to ask and I too would be puzzled if a family member asked if they could enter a room. The answer is always yes. If you're having houseguests over that you don't trust, I would question why. Clearly you have more needs in terms of boundaries as an extreme introvert, but other people are different and I wonder why you can't recognize that.
2) Lots of people don't have the luxury of confining their house guests to a specific area of the house because their living areas are small. So it becomes ridiculous in a 2BR home to confine a guest to a certain living area.
3) When you have big parties, it's impossible to limit guests to the ground floor unless your ground floor is palatial with multiple bathrooms. So why not clean up your home and make your house a welcoming place.

Just because you are okay with it, doesn't mean the answer is always yes, even for people in your family. You do realize people have different feelings than you, don't you? Or do you really believe everyone in your faaaamilllyyy is an entension of you, which would make you an extreme narcissist.

If people are in our family are uncomfortable with actions, they vocalize their feelings, which is a good skill to have as a child or an adult. No one is complaining about people entering their rooms. Sorry you don't have those skills. And no, I'm not an extreme narcissist, but I imagine your life is difficult as an extreme introvert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 pages? What are you all talking about?!

One group of posters still live like kids in dorms or share houses, where nothing is private and there are most likely people drinking and making out in every corner of every room.

The other group of posters have homes with entertaining space(s) and then areas of the house that are not entertaining spaces, and they expect guests who are at their house for an event to stay where the event is being held unless they're invited or ask to go elsewhere.

The first group can't understand why the second group isn't comfortable with them just poking around the entire house whenever they feel like it (including going up stairs that they weren't welcomed to go up, or opening doors that they weren't welcomed to open) to satisfy their curiosity.

The second group wonders how to identify the first group so we can not invite them to our events.

+ at least seven: my mom, my five sisters, and I

Exaggerate much? There appears to be a poster on this thread who equates not walling off their upstairs to allowing guests to go through their underwear drawer. The poster needs to find a better class of friends.

Your friends wander in/out of your master bedroom like it's grand central station. My friends know better...

Yup. My home is a fun place not a fortress. There are kids running around and playing adults who come and interact with them. I know that you will need to take a Xanax after reading this.

We have a playroom. A yard. And the kids are supervised. They are not allowed to tear all over the house and go into rooms that are off limits. They still manage to have a good time even with all those crazy rules...

Great. That’s your home. Other people have an even better time without all these crazy rules.

Because finding a Hostess cupcake smashed into the bedspread in your master bedroom is way more fun. How about finding that one of the little darlings flushed your makeup down the toilet in the master bathroom. Ha! So funny!

Seriously, dp. I've hosted my fair share of play dates and there is pretty much NO upside in allowing kids to run into your office, master bedroom/bath, formal living room, etc. Some rooms really should be off limits.

Again, befriend a better class of people. The company you keep speaks volumes about you. And your example show that your friends and their children are very poorly behaved.

+1. Seriously. I don’t make rooms off limits to my kids and their friends, but I do ask that food stays in eating areas (kitchen and dining room.).

Why on earth should a child guest be allowed to play in your master bedroom/bathroom? That makes pretty much zero sense. And, yes, most parents do not allow that.

Play dates happen in the playroom, the basement, the child's own bedroom and outside. These are very, very basic rules that take a minimal effort to establish.

We don't have a playroom or a backyard, basement or a backyard, so yes, our playdates happen all over the house. Enjoy your McMansion!

NP. So you...don't have any bedrooms, then? You and your husband sleep in the middle of the foyer, or the living room? And kids are just allowed to play on your bed and open your drawers? How very odd, not a single bedroom in your house.

Enjoy your studio apartment!

So you...don't know how to read? PP said they didn't have a playroom backyard or a basement. Didn't say they didn't have any bedrooms. Many many families live in 1 or 2BR apartments in the DC area. Some even live in studios. Try exiting your bubble some time.

+1 We live in DC and we have plenty of apartment playdates and bedrooms are part of the play areas. And no, the kids aren't allowed to open drawers. Parent your children better if that's the kind of behavior they're capable of.

+1 Entering a bedroom is not equal to snooping through someone's drawers. Sorry you've had bad experiences with your guests.

Trespassing is not necessarily the same thing as breaking and entering. It is still wrong, though. Sorry your guests don't know better!

Trespassing is a legal definition. Wouldn't be valid for someone you invited to your home. You need to make a better class of friends if you need to have the police involved when you have guests.

Walking into a host's private space is not necessarily the same thing as rifling through their paperwork or snooping through their drawers but it is still an intrusion into their personal space. Always ask before you assume that is o.k.

It's a shame that you are teaching your children such a lack of boundaries.

It's a shame you're teaching your children to set artificial boundaries with their friends and loved ones. Not all families behave the way yours does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. For the "every space is a public space is MY house" people - serious question, what harm is there in ASKING when you are in someone else's house, before assuming that their whole house is open as yours is? Maybe it is and they will say go right ahead, and maybe it isn't and they'll direct you somewhere else. But there IS potential harm in barging ahead without asking - you could come across sensitive financial papers the host was working on in their private office, a large pile of dirty laundry or unmentionables in the main sleeping space, or delicate and expensive equipment in a craft or work room - because the host didn't expect their private spaces to be made public for a party. Or just more generally piss your host off because they weren't prepared for guests in that area of the house!

And this goes for houses of any size - if I visited someone in a studio apartment who had a partition screen blocking a corner of their room, I'd *never* peek behind the screen without asking first and with good reason. ("I need to change my shirt and the bathroom is occupied" is a good reason. "I'm curious" is not.) *Everyone* has a right to some private space, and you need to let each host define that for themselves - and the only way you'll know is if you ASK FIRST. You even acknowledge this when you say kids don't open drawers on playdates - so your drawers are your private space. Some people need to block off whole rooms. How hard is this to understand?

This has been a long running point of contention with my mother in law. She is an extrovert and a neat freak, and lived for 40 years in a single floor ranch where the master bedroom opened directly onto the family room. Their bedroom door was always wide open and I *still* asked every time before I went in. She always looked at me a little puzzled but said "sure" every time, and no further harm came. OTOH, I'm an extreme introvert, an admitted slob, and fiercely private. My bedroom is my SANCTUARY. I need one space where I can relax and not have to be "on" all the time. My kids are not even allowed in if my DH or I isn't there (much less my own mother - since I'm sure someone will say I'm discriminating against my MIL). It's not about *her* at all, and yet it took many many conversations before she finally stopped going in uninvited, and I know she still feels hurt by it.

FWIW, we threw a large party recently, and I decided not to leave it up to chance - I locked all the bedroom doors, leaving open only the upstairs kids/hall bathroom (which folks were welcome to use if the other two were not convenient). I even proactively offered a bedroom to the one nursing mom who came (but she declined). I'm sad that I have to do this, but based on this thread alone, I'm glad I did.

1) For me, family is family. We don't need to ask to enter a room, and I love and trust my family and would never worry about them snooping or damaging things. If they need to get a pencil from my desk or use my bathroom because the ground floor one is occupied, they don't need to ask and I too would be puzzled if a family member asked if they could enter a room. The answer is always yes. If you're having houseguests over that you don't trust, I would question why. Clearly you have more needs in terms of boundaries as an extreme introvert, but other people are different and I wonder why you can't recognize that.
2) Lots of people don't have the luxury of confining their house guests to a specific area of the house because their living areas are small. So it becomes ridiculous in a 2BR home to confine a guest to a certain living area.
3) When you have big parties, it's impossible to limit guests to the ground floor unless your ground floor is palatial with multiple bathrooms. So why not clean up your home and make your house a welcoming place.

Lol, what an ironic statement.

Everything about this mentality is ironic. They see their own need to take a call in privacy or be in a private area for breast feeding or whatever. But they don't seem to "get" that a host has a right to privacy, too, and they do not all appreciate guests wandering into private areas of their home rooms.

The fact that this thread has gotten so long indicates that they don't get it and probably never will.

[Anonymous]

Good lord. Is this thread still going on? All the people who are neurotic about their personal space just need to lock their doors. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

There's some really strange black-and-white thinking on this thread.

Not feeling defensively private about "upstairs" =/= being fine with guests "wandering," "roaming," and "snooping."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 pages? What are you all talking about?!

One group of posters still live like kids in dorms or share houses, where nothing is private and there are most likely people drinking and making out in every corner of every room.

The other group of posters have homes with entertaining space(s) and then areas of the house that are not entertaining spaces, and they expect guests who are at their house for an event to stay where the event is being held unless they're invited or ask to go elsewhere.

The first group can't understand why the second group isn't comfortable with them just poking around the entire house whenever they feel like it (including going up stairs that they weren't welcomed to go up, or opening doors that they weren't welcomed to open) to satisfy their curiosity.

The second group wonders how to identify the first group so we can not invite them to our events.

+ at least seven: my mom, my five sisters, and I

Exaggerate much? There appears to be a poster on this thread who equates not walling off their upstairs to allowing guests to go through their underwear drawer. The poster needs to find a better class of friends.

Your friends wander in/out of your master bedroom like it's grand central station. My friends know better...

Yup. My home is a fun place not a fortress. There are kids running around and playing adults who come and interact with them. I know that you will need to take a Xanax after reading this.

We have a playroom. A yard. And the kids are supervised. They are not allowed to tear all over the house and go into rooms that are off limits. They still manage to have a good time even with all those crazy rules...

Great. That’s your home. Other people have an even better time without all these crazy rules.

Because finding a Hostess cupcake smashed into the bedspread in your master bedroom is way more fun. How about finding that one of the little darlings flushed your makeup down the toilet in the master bathroom. Ha! So funny!

Seriously, dp. I've hosted my fair share of play dates and there is pretty much NO upside in allowing kids to run into your office, master bedroom/bath, formal living room, etc. Some rooms really should be off limits.

Again, befriend a better class of people. The company you keep speaks volumes about you. And your example show that your friends and their children are very poorly behaved.

+1. Seriously. I don’t make rooms off limits to my kids and their friends, but I do ask that food stays in eating areas (kitchen and dining room.).

Why on earth should a child guest be allowed to play in your master bedroom/bathroom? That makes pretty much zero sense. And, yes, most parents do not allow that.

Play dates happen in the playroom, the basement, the child's own bedroom and outside. These are very, very basic rules that take a minimal effort to establish.

We don't have a playroom or a backyard, basement or a backyard, so yes, our playdates happen all over the house. Enjoy your McMansion!

NP. So you...don't have any bedrooms, then? You and your husband sleep in the middle of the foyer, or the living room? And kids are just allowed to play on your bed and open your drawers? How very odd, not a single bedroom in your house.

Enjoy your studio apartment!

So you...don't know how to read? PP said they didn't have a playroom backyard or a basement. Didn't say they didn't have any bedrooms. Many many families live in 1 or 2BR apartments in the DC area. Some even live in studios. Try exiting your bubble some time.

+1 We live in DC and we have plenty of apartment playdates and bedrooms are part of the play areas. And no, the kids aren't allowed to open drawers. Parent your children better if that's the kind of behavior they're capable of.

+1 Entering a bedroom is not equal to snooping through someone's drawers. Sorry you've had bad experiences with your guests.

Trespassing is not necessarily the same thing as breaking and entering. It is still wrong, though. Sorry your guests don't know better!

Trespassing is a legal definition. Wouldn't be valid for someone you invited to your home. You need to make a better class of friends if you need to have the police involved when you have guests.

Walking into a host's private space is not necessarily the same thing as rifling through their paperwork or snooping through their drawers but it is still an intrusion into their personal space. Always ask before you assume that is o.k.

It's a shame that you are teaching your children such a lack of boundaries.

It's a shame you're teaching your children to set artificial boundaries with their friends and loved ones. Not all families behave the way yours does.

Ha. It's not an "artificial boundary" the boundary is very real. You do not go into someone's personal space unless they have given you permission to do so. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's some really strange black-and-white thinking on this thread.

Not feeling defensively private about "upstairs" =/= being fine with guests "wandering," "roaming," and "snooping."

Basically it's rude to assume that you have full access to every square inch of a host's home. Unless you have been invited to tour their bedroom - you stay out of it. That is what polite guests with reasonable manners do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's some really strange black-and-white thinking on this thread.

Not feeling defensively private about "upstairs" =/= being fine with guests "wandering," "roaming," and "snooping."

Basically it's rude to assume that you have full access to every square inch of a host's home. Unless you have been invited to tour their bedroom - you stay out of it. That is what polite guests with reasonable manners do.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's some really strange black-and-white thinking on this thread.

Not feeling defensively private about "upstairs" =/= being fine with guests "wandering," "roaming," and "snooping."

Exactly. There's a difference between entering because you need to find someone and searching through the medicine cabinet. But this has been pointed out 100 times, and the poster doesn't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord. Is this thread still going on? All the people who are neurotic about their personal space just need to lock their doors. Problem solved.

Or they can just throw up their hands and meet these nosy nellies in a public spot. That's probably the easiest thing. Just keep an eye on your purse unless you want someone going into it looking for a tissue...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22 pages? What are you all talking about?!

One group of posters still live like kids in dorms or share houses, where nothing is private and there are most likely people drinking and making out in every corner of every room.

The other group of posters have homes with entertaining space(s) and then areas of the house that are not entertaining spaces, and they expect guests who are at their house for an event to stay where the event is being held unless they're invited or ask to go elsewhere.

The first group can't understand why the second group isn't comfortable with them just poking around the entire house whenever they feel like it (including going up stairs that they weren't welcomed to go up, or opening doors that they weren't welcomed to open) to satisfy their curiosity.

The second group wonders how to identify the first group so we can not invite them to our events.

+ at least seven: my mom, my five sisters, and I

Exaggerate much? There appears to be a poster on this thread who equates not walling off their upstairs to allowing guests to go through their underwear drawer. The poster needs to find a better class of friends.

Your friends wander in/out of your master bedroom like it's grand central station. My friends know better...

Yup. My home is a fun place not a fortress. There are kids running around and playing adults who come and interact with them. I know that you will need to take a Xanax after reading this.

We have a playroom. A yard. And the kids are supervised. They are not allowed to tear all over the house and go into rooms that are off limits. They still manage to have a good time even with all those crazy rules...

Great. That’s your home. Other people have an even better time without all these crazy rules.

Because finding a Hostess cupcake smashed into the bedspread in your master bedroom is way more fun. How about finding that one of the little darlings flushed your makeup down the toilet in the master bathroom. Ha! So funny!

Seriously, dp. I've hosted my fair share of play dates and there is pretty much NO upside in allowing kids to run into your office, master bedroom/bath, formal living room, etc. Some rooms really should be off limits.

Again, befriend a better class of people. The company you keep speaks volumes about you. And your example show that your friends and their children are very poorly behaved.

+1. Seriously. I don’t make rooms off limits to my kids and their friends, but I do ask that food stays in eating areas (kitchen and dining room.).

Why on earth should a child guest be allowed to play in your master bedroom/bathroom? That makes pretty much zero sense. And, yes, most parents do not allow that.

Play dates happen in the playroom, the basement, the child's own bedroom and outside. These are very, very basic rules that take a minimal effort to establish.

We don't have a playroom or a backyard, basement or a backyard, so yes, our playdates happen all over the house. Enjoy your McMansion!

NP. So you...don't have any bedrooms, then? You and your husband sleep in the middle of the foyer, or the living room? And kids are just allowed to play on your bed and open your drawers? How very odd, not a single bedroom in your house.

Enjoy your studio apartment!

So you...don't know how to read? PP said they didn't have a playroom backyard or a basement. Didn't say they didn't have any bedrooms. Many many families live in 1 or 2BR apartments in the DC area. Some even live in studios. Try exiting your bubble some time.

+1 We live in DC and we have plenty of apartment playdates and bedrooms are part of the play areas. And no, the kids aren't allowed to open drawers. Parent your children better if that's the kind of behavior they're capable of.

+1 Entering a bedroom is not equal to snooping through someone's drawers. Sorry you've had bad experiences with your guests.

Trespassing is not necessarily the same thing as breaking and entering. It is still wrong, though. Sorry your guests don't know better!

Trespassing is a legal definition. Wouldn't be valid for someone you invited to your home. You need to make a better class of friends if you need to have the police involved when you have guests.

Walking into a host's private space is not necessarily the same thing as rifling through their paperwork or snooping through their drawers but it is still an intrusion into their personal space. Always ask before you assume that is o.k.

It's a shame that you are teaching your children such a lack of boundaries.

It's a shame you're teaching your children to set artificial boundaries with their friends and loved ones. Not all families behave the way yours does.

Ha. It's not an "artificial boundary" the boundary is very real. You do not go into someone's personal space unless they have given you permission to do so. The end.

That's true in your home. It's not true in all homes. If you want a real boundary, lock or the door. Or be Trumpy and build a wall so no one except you can enter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord. Is this thread still going on? All the people who are neurotic about their personal space just need to lock their doors. Problem solved.

Or they can just throw up their hands and meet these nosy nellies in a public spot. That's probably the easiest thing. Just keep an eye on your purse unless you want someone going into it looking for a tissue...

That would probably be a better idea for people who are so antsy about keeping their home as a private sanctuary. But they would probably be worried about encountering the unwashed masses outside their home.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately this is why I just resort to locking my bedroom door these days. Nosy and inconsiderate faaaaamiilllyyy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's some really strange black-and-white thinking on this thread.

Not feeling defensively private about "upstairs" =/= being fine with guests "wandering," "roaming," and "snooping."

Exactly. There's a difference between entering because you need to find someone and searching through the medicine cabinet. But this has been pointed out 100 times, and the poster doesn't get it.

If I have gone into my master bathroom you Do Not need to enter my bedroom to "find" me. If I've gone into my bedroom you KNOCK. I will either say "Come in or Just a moment" you don't just barge into my bedroom looking for me.

Do you follow your guests to the powder room and wait outside talking to them through the door while they use it? Come on.