I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what happens is sh*t needs to get done, so people ask people who have done the sh*t before successfully. Are they the nicest women you’d want to be friends with? Maybe not always. But they are there, doing things that benefit the community. Do they get a big head, are they rich enough that they have time to spare? Yes, often yes. This is the price of asking the quintessential PTA Mom or Church Lady to run things.

These women are rarely asked.

So why are others not stepping in and taking charge before they "maneuver" their way in? Others don't want to do take charge. It's similar to politics. A certain kind of personality is drawn to politics. People criticize them but don't want to jump in.

Someone else be proactive for a community event? Gasp.

Often other people don't step in because they don't want the event.

Our PTA organizes so many events throughout the year, I feel like it's too much. It becomes burdensome as a parent to participate because it seems like there is always something coming up that requires contributions and participation. My kids want to go to the event because it's talked up at school and their friends will be there, but for me it just means we're going to have to organize a weeknight around something at the school. I know some people love going but we don't -- I'm not super into small talk with other parents and on a weeknight my focus is on dinner, making sure kids do homework and take showers, and having a normal bedtime. I resent having those routines disrupted multiple times a month for school events.

The the school needs chaperones or volunteers to help with stuff around the school, my spouse and almost always volunteer. But we are not event people. I don't volunteer for these events because I don't like them. And I'm not particularly grateful to the people who organize them because they mostly just create obligation for me.

I agree with this. Same for all the organized teacher appreciation. I appreciate my teachers in my own way and don’t want to do your stuff PTA. Or the cookie carry things? Ask teachers - most don’t even want your cookies. It’s women creating more obligations and expectations and then expecting applause for doing so and many people feel guilt about it and contribute or participate because they feel pressure to do so.

Which brings us back to the OP. You’re either part of this whole ecosystem or you’re not. It’s easy to opt out. So opt out. Change the channel in your brain.

NP and you seriously need to look up the words “obligation” and “opportunity,” and learn the difference between those two things.

I have the opportunity to participate in PTA things like breakfast for the teachers; I sometimes do, I usually don’t. But I know I’m not *obligated* to do so. Instead, I choose to give cards and gifts to teachers in my own time, in my own way.

There are a lot of expectations out in the world that I choose not to feel pressured to meet. What with my free will and all. Do try to grow a spine and live your life the way you want to.

Was it unclear that I don’t do the things I don’t want to do? No problem at all on my end. The point of what we’re doing here is trying to help the OP who feels sucked into this morass it would seem. She is questioning how to get away from these women who she feels pressure her and boss her around. You seem to have it down so offer advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

Not the PP and this is hilarious. Really.

I will own it and complain about women who use all their leadership energy to organize a bunch of events for kids they don’t need. This will continue into high school too for those who have little kids. Boosters for everything. We must influence the world by building an extensive process to feed them a gluten free or vegetarian or regular dinner! We must set it up for them and clean up after them! It’s inspirational!

And then we wonder why so many of them have trouble functioning as adults.

I know a lot of adults, men and women, who act this way but I just…don’t engage are participate. I’m really sorry that you are somehow in a social serfdom where you have to do what they say. Sucks to be you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

The boss I had who asked nosy questions about my personal relationships so she could give me marital and financial advice was not "brave and outspoken." She was a pushy busybody who wanted to use her position as my boss to be controlling in my private life.

The fellow mom at my kid's school who demanded her kid be placed in her preferred teacher's class, and then also demanded the child she'd selected as her kid's "bestie" (note, I do not think that child wanted to be her kid's bestie) also be placed in that class to facilitate the friendship, was not following in the illustrious footsteps of Rosa Parks. She was a pushy helicopter mom with serious boundary issues.

Based on your post above, you share some qualities with these women (again, not with Rosa Parks). You want to mischaracterize what I think and what I said and then demand I "Own it"? NO. I know you hate that word but I'll say it again: NO.

Wow, your boss fired you when you declined to answer questions about your personal life? I do hope you contacted HR.

Wow, the fellow mom at your kid’s school cast an Imperius Curse on the entire administration of your school, and literally forced them to bend them to her will? That is really something. I hope you called Ghost Hunters, because that kind of witchcraft would make for a really cool episode.

Real question: why are you like this? Like are you reading your posts over before hitting "submit" and noticing anything... off about their tone?

Are you the person who got mad about being accused of melting down? Because you are melting down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Actually it completely does. As evidenced by the amount of work you put into copying OP’s post, complete with overly familiar, not funny references (stage 5 clinger, SWF).

Your post isn’t clever and the OP does describe you. You were triggered for this reason.

LOL, wasn’t hard to copy and paste. I did add paragraph breaks because OP “who works in comms” doesn’t know how to use them. The only thing difficult about copying her writing style was that I would never be so long-winded.

So if you don't feel personally attacked by this thread topic, you are spending your Saturday posting extensively in this thread because... why?

No one would get this invested in this topic if their actual response to the OP was "huh, I have never encountered that, how strange." You are responding defensively.

And why shouldn’t I defend the women OP is trying to ridicule or diminish? Sure, I’m standing up for women whose crime is seemingly to exist, and be more popular, essential, successful and relevant than OP.

I thought your claim is that such women don't exist.

And why would anyone "popular, essential, successful, and relevant" need to be defended in a weekend thread on DCUM? The woman you describe would be 100% fine without your intervention.

I don’t care what anyone’s claim is.

I find people like Op claiming to know everything about someone’s childhood, marriage, spouse, kids, and academic history to be beyond pretentious and stupid.

So that’s when and where I stopped taking Op seriously.

Maybe you should start your own thread about "women like OP" since they obviously makes you so angry.

Stop conflating writing someone off with being angry. So bizarre how you keep putting her on a pedestal.

I’m not angry OP is an idiot. If anything I’m thankful I never met someone idiotic about her hang ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

The boss I had who asked nosy questions about my personal relationships so she could give me marital and financial advice was not "brave and outspoken." She was a pushy busybody who wanted to use her position as my boss to be controlling in my private life.

The fellow mom at my kid's school who demanded her kid be placed in her preferred teacher's class, and then also demanded the child she'd selected as her kid's "bestie" (note, I do not think that child wanted to be her kid's bestie) also be placed in that class to facilitate the friendship, was not following in the illustrious footsteps of Rosa Parks. She was a pushy helicopter mom with serious boundary issues.

Based on your post above, you share some qualities with these women (again, not with Rosa Parks). You want to mischaracterize what I think and what I said and then demand I "Own it"? NO. I know you hate that word but I'll say it again: NO.

Wow, your boss fired you when you declined to answer questions about your personal life? I do hope you contacted HR.

Wow, the fellow mom at your kid’s school cast an Imperius Curse on the entire administration of your school, and literally forced them to bend them to her will? That is really something. I hope you called Ghost Hunters, because that kind of witchcraft would make for a really cool episode.

Real question: why are you like this? Like are you reading your posts over before hitting "submit" and noticing anything... off about their tone?

Are you the person who got mad about being accused of melting down? Because you are melting down.

Hee!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

The boss I had who asked nosy questions about my personal relationships so she could give me marital and financial advice was not "brave and outspoken." She was a pushy busybody who wanted to use her position as my boss to be controlling in my private life.

The fellow mom at my kid's school who demanded her kid be placed in her preferred teacher's class, and then also demanded the child she'd selected as her kid's "bestie" (note, I do not think that child wanted to be her kid's bestie) also be placed in that class to facilitate the friendship, was not following in the illustrious footsteps of Rosa Parks. She was a pushy helicopter mom with serious boundary issues.

Based on your post above, you share some qualities with these women (again, not with Rosa Parks). You want to mischaracterize what I think and what I said and then demand I "Own it"? NO. I know you hate that word but I'll say it again: NO.

Wow, your boss fired you when you declined to answer questions about your personal life? I do hope you contacted HR.

Wow, the fellow mom at your kid’s school cast an Imperius Curse on the entire administration of your school, and literally forced them to bend them to her will? That is really something. I hope you called Ghost Hunters, because that kind of witchcraft would make for a really cool episode.

Real question: why are you like this? Like are you reading your posts over before hitting "submit" and noticing anything... off about their tone?

Are you the person who got mad about being accused of melting down? Because you are melting down.

Lame trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

The boss I had who asked nosy questions about my personal relationships so she could give me marital and financial advice was not "brave and outspoken." She was a pushy busybody who wanted to use her position as my boss to be controlling in my private life.

The fellow mom at my kid's school who demanded her kid be placed in her preferred teacher's class, and then also demanded the child she'd selected as her kid's "bestie" (note, I do not think that child wanted to be her kid's bestie) also be placed in that class to facilitate the friendship, was not following in the illustrious footsteps of Rosa Parks. She was a pushy helicopter mom with serious boundary issues.

Based on your post above, you share some qualities with these women (again, not with Rosa Parks). You want to mischaracterize what I think and what I said and then demand I "Own it"? NO. I know you hate that word but I'll say it again: NO.

Wow, your boss fired you when you declined to answer questions about your personal life? I do hope you contacted HR.

Wow, the fellow mom at your kid’s school cast an Imperius Curse on the entire administration of your school, and literally forced them to bend them to her will? That is really something. I hope you called Ghost Hunters, because that kind of witchcraft would make for a really cool episode.

Real question: why are you like this? Like are you reading your posts over before hitting "submit" and noticing anything... off about their tone?

Are you the person who got mad about being accused of melting down? Because you are melting down.

Talking about yourself again PP/OP. Melting down indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

The boss I had who asked nosy questions about my personal relationships so she could give me marital and financial advice was not "brave and outspoken." She was a pushy busybody who wanted to use her position as my boss to be controlling in my private life.

The fellow mom at my kid's school who demanded her kid be placed in her preferred teacher's class, and then also demanded the child she'd selected as her kid's "bestie" (note, I do not think that child wanted to be her kid's bestie) also be placed in that class to facilitate the friendship, was not following in the illustrious footsteps of Rosa Parks. She was a pushy helicopter mom with serious boundary issues.

Based on your post above, you share some qualities with these women (again, not with Rosa Parks). You want to mischaracterize what I think and what I said and then demand I "Own it"? NO. I know you hate that word but I'll say it again: NO.

Wow, your boss fired you when you declined to answer questions about your personal life? I do hope you contacted HR.

Wow, the fellow mom at your kid’s school cast an Imperius Curse on the entire administration of your school, and literally forced them to bend them to her will? That is really something. I hope you called Ghost Hunters, because that kind of witchcraft would make for a really cool episode.

Real question: why are you like this? Like are you reading your posts over before hitting "submit" and noticing anything... off about their tone?

Are you the person who got mad about being accused of melting down? Because you are melting down.

Talking about yourself again PP/OP. Melting down indeed.

There is a troll in this thread and it's you. Holy crap have you derailed things here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

Not the PP and this is hilarious. Really.

I will own it and complain about women who use all their leadership energy to organize a bunch of events for kids they don’t need. This will continue into high school too for those who have little kids. Boosters for everything. We must influence the world by building an extensive process to feed them a gluten free or vegetarian or regular dinner! We must set it up for them and clean up after them! It’s inspirational!

And then we wonder why so many of them have trouble functioning as adults.

I know a lot of adults, men and women, who act this way but I just…don’t engage are participate. I’m really sorry that you are somehow in a social serfdom where you have to do what they say. Sucks to be you!

My teen is in sports teams where they would be the only child sitting there not eating with their team so yes I send in my $ for the dinners. What do you tell your child in this situation when you do not engage or participate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

Not the PP and this is hilarious. Really.

I will own it and complain about women who use all their leadership energy to organize a bunch of events for kids they don’t need. This will continue into high school too for those who have little kids. Boosters for everything. We must influence the world by building an extensive process to feed them a gluten free or vegetarian or regular dinner! We must set it up for them and clean up after them! It’s inspirational!

And then we wonder why so many of them have trouble functioning as adults.

I know a lot of adults, men and women, who act this way but I just…don’t engage are participate. I’m really sorry that you are somehow in a social serfdom where you have to do what they say. Sucks to be you!

My teen is in sports teams where they would be the only child sitting there not eating with their team so yes I send in my $ for the dinners. What do you tell your child in this situation when you do not engage or participate?

NP. I’ve been in that exact scenario and I’ve told them that we’re doing dinner later at home, and that we don’t always choose to spend money on that kind of thing. And the weirdest thing happened, SHE LIVED!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

Not the PP and this is hilarious. Really.

I will own it and complain about women who use all their leadership energy to organize a bunch of events for kids they don’t need. This will continue into high school too for those who have little kids. Boosters for everything. We must influence the world by building an extensive process to feed them a gluten free or vegetarian or regular dinner! We must set it up for them and clean up after them! It’s inspirational!

And then we wonder why so many of them have trouble functioning as adults.

I know a lot of adults, men and women, who act this way but I just…don’t engage are participate. I’m really sorry that you are somehow in a social serfdom where you have to do what they say. Sucks to be you!

My teen is in sports teams where they would be the only child sitting there not eating with their team so yes I send in my $ for the dinners. What do you tell your child in this situation when you do not engage or participate?

NP. I’ve been in that exact scenario and I’ve told them that we’re doing dinner later at home, and that we don’t always choose to spend money on that kind of thing. And the weirdest thing happened, SHE LIVED!

I’m sure she did. You’re clearly winning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

Not the PP and this is hilarious. Really.

I will own it and complain about women who use all their leadership energy to organize a bunch of events for kids they don’t need. This will continue into high school too for those who have little kids. Boosters for everything. We must influence the world by building an extensive process to feed them a gluten free or vegetarian or regular dinner! We must set it up for them and clean up after them! It’s inspirational!

And then we wonder why so many of them have trouble functioning as adults.

I know a lot of adults, men and women, who act this way but I just…don’t engage are participate. I’m really sorry that you are somehow in a social serfdom where you have to do what they say. Sucks to be you!

My teen is in sports teams where they would be the only child sitting there not eating with their team so yes I send in my $ for the dinners. What do you tell your child in this situation when you do not engage or participate?

NP. I’ve been in that exact scenario and I’ve told them that we’re doing dinner later at home, and that we don’t always choose to spend money on that kind of thing. And the weirdest thing happened, SHE LIVED!

I’m sure she did. You’re clearly winning.

You’re right, I’m lying. She clearly died. The truth is just too hard to face.

And guess what, the next few times, a few other parents did the same. And now there’s more of a mix. And sometimes my kid does eat the optional buy meal at her activity.

[Anonymous]

I am very late to this party, but I avoid these women by finding the third type not mentioned in the OP, the smart, introverted loaner women who have more 1-1 friendships (who may be loosely acquainted with each other) than the hive type sorority sister relationships.

These women are more interested in connecting around common interests and values as opposed to social hierarchy dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very late to this party, but I avoid these women by finding the third type not mentioned in the OP, the smart, introverted loaner women who have more 1-1 friendships (who may be loosely acquainted with each other) than the hive type sorority sister relationships.

These women are more interested in connecting around common interests and values as opposed to social hierarchy dynamics.

I think you mean “loner,” not “loaner.” Although I would kind of like to meet a loaner woman!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree women like this are always easily kept at arm's length. The whole issue with this personality is that they are pushy and that can impact other people. I have worked for a woman like this and I've dealt with one at my kid's school and both times it was pretty annoying to deal with them frequently pushing for personal advantages or stepping on toes or overreaching. It's not a crisis or anything, but it's a difficult personality type.

I don't know this person but one example of someone with this personality who would drive me nuts if our kids were in school together is that mom who was pushing really hard to redshirt her kid in DCPS earlier this year. I remember reading about that, and seeing interviews with her. Obviously people like that exist and sometimes their behavior has negative impacts on others.

Oh no, you were annoyed? People are sometimes difficult?

I love that you probably have, like, a “Rebel Girls” book that’s all about RBG, Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, Susan B. Anthony, and other annoying-ass women who wouldn’t stop being so damn pushy all the time. We encourage our girls to be assertive, invested, dedicated, determined, and outspoken, but then when women in our life actually do that, those pushy broads need to STFU, sit down and stop taking up so much space. How dare they want to influence their communities and advocate for their own best interest, and the best interests of their kids?

Uh, if you can't tell the difference between pushing for civil rights and pushing for your kid to get special treatment at their public school, I don't know what to say. No one here is complaining about Rosa Parks.

No, you’re just complaining about women acting on all those things we encourage them to do, following the endless examples of women leaders that we claim to admire. We’re just complaining when women are actually assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types who, yes indeed, try to influence the world, in ways big and small.

That’s what you’re doing. Own it.

I think this comment is kind of accidentally revealing of why some women can be very pushy in ways that are aggravating or even harmful to other people. It just sounds like you internalized the #girlboss stereotype as how women are supposed to behave. Where do you get the idea that all women are encouraged to be "assertive, brave, outspoken, take-charge types"? Or that the only way to have a positive impact on the world is to be like this? It's not true.

Did you know the woman who originated the concept of "girlboss" (founder of the Nasty Gal website) was later sued for discriminating against female employees who went on maternity leave? The founder of Thinx period underwear was sued for sexual harassment by a female employee who accused the founder of touching her breasts without consent and undressing in front of staff. These women were both lauded for being assertive take-charge types who I'm sure thought they were having a positive impact on the world. Like plenty of male founders, though, they were blinded by their own ambition and took that "assertiveness" too far.