Weird situation with new neighbor from high school - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP must have been an absolutely awful person in high school to elicit this type of behavior from her neighbor so many years later. I doubt it is all in the neighbor's head. Especially if neighbor's husband is also making comments.

Yes, when bizarre people behave bizarrely, it must indeed be the fault of the recipient of their behavior. You do realize that behavior is generally not able to be blamed or attributed to someone else, right?

I do agree the fact that the husband alluded to issues in high school indicates there is a real and valid reason for the neighbor's behavior. I think it' too easy to say "oh she's bizarre." I think OP has two options, to ignore or to try and make amends. Either way, I personally would assume that the neighbor has some basis for her lingering hurt feelings.

Also, while I agree with PPs that the fact that the woman had approached the kids a big problem and something that would make me wary, I also think people are blowing it way out of proportion. They are neighbors. It's not like she tracked these kids down. What she said to them was inappropriate but only because the kids were not the correct recipient for that info. It's not like she did something scary, just kind of weird and awkward. At least in my opinion. I don't think I'd be worried about this woman being dangerous based on what OP described. I'd just worry about future awkward interactions, which is why I'd probably choose to reach out to the neighbor and try to bury the hatchet if possible.

The husband simply said the women didn’t get along. He didn’t mention this “bullying”.

I can't imagine my husband even mentioning this sort of thing. Then again, we are both normal and do not consider ourselves to have been victims of bullies in HS or ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your story is true and she approached your children.

That person is insane stay away. Ignore do not ingage.

Tell your children to be careful around her.

This thread is bizzare. If the woman has a beef with OP then fine take it up with OP but to approach her children means she's got a screw loose and why in the world should OP engage?

While i understand some bullies in HS are awful we have no idea what really transpired then, but we do know the HS person talked to children, who the H doese that?

Uh, you sound insane...

Why? This woman went up to minors and acted inappropriately. Who in their right mind does that? If OP was that bad why would this woman want to be anywhere near OP? Clearly, she has a screw loose.

The woman is clearly obsessing over OP how in any reality is that a good thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP must have been an absolutely awful person in high school to elicit this type of behavior from her neighbor so many years later. I doubt it is all in the neighbor's head. Especially if neighbor's husband is also making comments.

Yes, when bizarre people behave bizarrely, it must indeed be the fault of the recipient of their behavior. You do realize that behavior is generally not able to be blamed or attributed to someone else, right?

I do agree the fact that the husband alluded to issues in high school indicates there is a real and valid reason for the neighbor's behavior. I think it' too easy to say "oh she's bizarre." I think OP has two options, to ignore or to try and make amends. Either way, I personally would assume that the neighbor has some basis for her lingering hurt feelings.

Also, while I agree with PPs that the fact that the woman had approached the kids a big problem and something that would make me wary, I also think people are blowing it way out of proportion. They are neighbors. It's not like she tracked these kids down. What she said to them was inappropriate but only because the kids were not the correct recipient for that info. It's not like she did something scary, just kind of weird and awkward. At least in my opinion. I don't think I'd be worried about this woman being dangerous based on what OP described. I'd just worry about future awkward interactions, which is why I'd probably choose to reach out to the neighbor and try to bury the hatchet if possible.

I think neighbor has proven she’s still stuck in high school and has been perseverating on perceived slights for decades and hasn’t evolved. It’s pathetic and op should be cordial but just avoid, amends are not necessary and likely useless at this point. The revenge fantasies in this thread are just that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

Op isn’t obligated to befriend anyone. Then nor now. This woman is clearly trying to insinuate herself where her friendship isn’t wanted, yet again. Tell her she’s doing that again, it makes you uncomfortable that she is approaching your children and you still aren’t interested in a friendship with her. She’s weird and off putting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this woman is concerning.

OP said she doesn't remember this woman past a vague recollection. This woman ZEROED IN ON OP's KIDS and made a very bizarre allegation against their mom.

Not sure how you'd handle a loon like new neighbor. She sounds like a mental case. She's going to spread facts and history about OP all over the neighborhood, and no telling how far she might carry her campaign.

Went ahead and fixed that typo for you.

Scary neighbor on. OP ignore and grey rock her

+1 if you are a mean girl OP game tf on. She came in blazing for you and your kids. Take her down several notches. Tuh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this woman is concerning.

OP said she doesn't remember this woman past a vague recollection. This woman ZEROED IN ON OP's KIDS and made a very bizarre allegation against their mom.

Not sure how you'd handle a loon like new neighbor. She sounds like a mental case. She's going to spread facts and history about OP all over the neighborhood, and no telling how far she might carry her campaign.

Went ahead and fixed that typo for you.

Scary neighbor on. OP ignore and grey rock her

+1 if you are a mean girl OP game tf on. She came in blazing for you and your kids. Take her down several notches. Tuh

You sound sound well.

At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this woman is concerning.

OP said she doesn't remember this woman past a vague recollection. This woman ZEROED IN ON OP's KIDS and made a very bizarre allegation against their mom.

Not sure how you'd handle a loon like new neighbor. She sounds like a mental case. She's going to spread facts and history about OP all over the neighborhood, and no telling how far she might carry her campaign.

Went ahead and fixed that typo for you.

Scary neighbor on. OP ignore and grey rock her

+1 if you are a mean girl OP game tf on. She came in blazing for you and your kids. Take her down several notches. Tuh

You sound sound well.

At all.

*DON'T

[Anonymous]

We have an aggressive crazy in our neighborhood. Runs out into the street to stop cars and yell at people. That’s OPs new neighbor. Stone cold CRAZY. She is just letting everyone know she’s crazy and inappropriate. No one really cares about her back story.

[Anonymous]

Just one thing. If the woman is still struggling with whatever scars she has from high school--some people get past those by the time they're 30, some never do, some fall in the middle--her comment to the kids may not have been calculated so much as her emotions jumping to the forefront in that moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just one thing. If the woman is still struggling with whatever scars she has from high school--some people get past those by the time they're 30, some never do, some fall in the middle--her comment to the kids may not have been calculated so much as her emotions jumping to the forefront in that moment.

Most of us have learned impulse control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an aggressive crazy in our neighborhood. Runs out into the street to stop cars and yell at people. That’s OPs new neighbor. Stone cold CRAZY. She is just letting everyone know she’s crazy and inappropriate. No one really cares about her back story.

Do you ignore it, or do you make up her story?

I think that there are some people just looking for drama. Sometimes, it is unclear if it is the neighbor (example you provided, or OP's example) or the neighborhood mean girl, who never grew up. For those of you defending the neighborhood mean girl in PP (not sure if OP is or not, because we don't have enough information) - how does drama make you any better? There are neighborhoods that have high turnaround (with owners, NOT renters - though some renters, too - but renters are ignored or used) for this very reason. I don't think that is the type of place that has a very good reputation, so it is not a place I would choose to live. Who would care to live in Mean Girl Central?

Most stable, mature people have better things to do than get sucked into drama. Just because you don't admit the drama exists, doesn't make it so - but you might want to readjust your perspective, for you own happiness. Drama prone people are not happy, fulfilled, accomplished people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one thing. If the woman is still struggling with whatever scars she has from high school--some people get past those by the time they're 30, some never do, some fall in the middle--her comment to the kids may not have been calculated so much as her emotions jumping to the forefront in that moment.

Most of us have learned impulse control.

+1

This is true for BOTH sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just one thing. If the woman is still struggling with whatever scars she has from high school--some people get past those by the time they're 30, some never do, some fall in the middle--her comment to the kids may not have been calculated so much as her emotions jumping to the forefront in that moment.

I agree that the new neighbor needs help - but so does OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one thing. If the woman is still struggling with whatever scars she has from high school--some people get past those by the time they're 30, some never do, some fall in the middle--her comment to the kids may not have been calculated so much as her emotions jumping to the forefront in that moment.

I agree that the new neighbor needs help - but so does OP.

Why? For what? How on earth do you know that? Crazy amount of projection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just one thing. If the woman is still struggling with whatever scars she has from high school--some people get past those by the time they're 30, some never do, some fall in the middle--her comment to the kids may not have been calculated so much as her emotions jumping to the forefront in that moment.

I agree that the new neighbor needs help - but so does OP.

Why? For what? How on earth do you know that? Crazy amount of projection.

Projection for what? OP is carrying on her high school behavior, and so is the neighbor. In what world is that okay? You sound off. You deflecting/denying makes you sound more off.