Weird situation with new neighbor from high school - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We grew up in the most affluent school district in our state in the 80s and 90s and the upper classmen girls were obscenely vicious to freshman. My older sister, who was super cute and polite, was legit tormented and nobody cared. The stories are so bad they sound fake, yet at the time it was just shrugged off as standard freshman hazing/hijinx. My sister was cute and ended up being popular in high school, so it wasn't even like she was some outcast weirdo they targeted. She went to Duke and became a lawyer and married a rich entrepreneur, but I know that bullying during 9th grade is still a sore spot – and why her children are private school lifers.

(Our parents made me transfer to a private high school to avoid that crap.)

And you believe this only happens in public schools?

I went to private schools throughout my upbringing and some of the worst mental abuse came from teachers and administrators. This was in the 80s so hopefully, it's a thing of the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

What's ironic is that the mean girl and a gal the mean girls thought was beneath them ended up in the same neighborhood, i.e. same level of professional and social status. That has to burn the washed up mean girl OP. I'm guessing the other mean girl friends OP reached out to are more successful and married better, so they're onward and upward, while OP has to toil amongst people she thought she was better than. Ouch.

+1

Nailed it.
I
Mean girl is stunted, probably hasn't moved out of her home town, and is crying about the new neighbor with bigger boobs: "SHE is going DOWN!!"

Yeah that’s… not it. Are you 14? Bigger boobs? You think that’s why people got bullied or bullied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

What's ironic is that the mean girl and a gal the mean girls thought was beneath them ended up in the same neighborhood, i.e. same level of professional and social status. That has to burn the washed up mean girl OP. I'm guessing the other mean girl friends OP reached out to are more successful and married better, so they're onward and upward, while OP has to toil amongst people she thought she was better than. Ouch.

+1

Nailed it.
I
Mean girl is stunted, probably hasn't moved out of her home town, and is crying about the new neighbor with bigger boobs: "SHE is going DOWN!!"

Yeah that’s… not it. Are you 14? Bigger boobs? You think that’s why people got bullied or bullied?

Maybe - bullies aren't exactly the stable types, especially adult bullies.

Not saying this is the case with OP, but OP should try to be the bigger person.

[Anonymous]

OP if your story is true and she approached your children.

That person is insane stay away. Ignore do not ingage.

Tell your children to be careful around her.

This thread is bizzare. If the woman has a beef with OP then fine take it up with OP but to approach her children means she's got a screw loose and why in the world should OP engage?

While i understand some bullies in HS are awful we have no idea what really transpired then, but we do know the HS person talked to children, who the H doese that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I normally say something shocking in return like, “You’re right, I am such a b*#ch. You should ask my husband and kids.” Normally people are stunned and are not sure how to respond. I then normally laugh and walk away breezily.

If she approaches your children again just have them say something like “you’re right, she is the worst!”

Always say it in a friendly way with a smile - makes them more nervous.

Ugh no. Don't do this OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she is still super awkward and doesn't realize that she is immediately identifying herself as a crazy person by announcing perceived slights from high school. Your neighbors already have an opinion of you, she's the one who is getting a reputation here.

This. If I were your neighbor I'd just be puzzled and shrug and be on my way, making a mental note to avoid this new neighbor.

[Anonymous]

OP must have been an absolutely awful person in high school to elicit this type of behavior from her neighbor so many years later. I doubt it is all in the neighbor's head. Especially if neighbor's husband is also making comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

What's ironic is that the mean girl and a gal the mean girls thought was beneath them ended up in the same neighborhood, i.e. same level of professional and social status. That has to burn the washed up mean girl OP. I'm guessing the other mean girl friends OP reached out to are more successful and married better, so they're onward and upward, while OP has to toil amongst people she thought she was better than. Ouch.

+1

Nailed it.
I
Mean girl is stunted, probably hasn't moved out of her home town, and is crying about the new neighbor with bigger boobs: "SHE is going DOWN!!"

Yeah that’s… not it. Are you 14? Bigger boobs? You think that’s why people got bullied or bullied?

Maybe - bullies aren't exactly the stable types, especially adult bullies.

Not saying this is the case with OP, but OP should try to be the bigger person.

I don’t think you’re actually reading and comprehending the inanity of what the prior poster said. They stated that OP bullied this girl because she had bigger boobs and now, once more, is triggered by this woman’s massive breasts and is determined to take her down. Apparently, they are very familiar with high school only because they’re still in it.

[Anonymous]

Just ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP must have been an absolutely awful person in high school to elicit this type of behavior from her neighbor so many years later. I doubt it is all in the neighbor's head. Especially if neighbor's husband is also making comments.

Yes, when bizarre people behave bizarrely, it must indeed be the fault of the recipient of their behavior. You do realize that behavior is generally not able to be blamed or attributed to someone else, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP must have been an absolutely awful person in high school to elicit this type of behavior from her neighbor so many years later. I doubt it is all in the neighbor's head. Especially if neighbor's husband is also making comments.

Yes, when bizarre people behave bizarrely, it must indeed be the fault of the recipient of their behavior. You do realize that behavior is generally not able to be blamed or attributed to someone else, right?

I do agree the fact that the husband alluded to issues in high school indicates there is a real and valid reason for the neighbor's behavior. I think it' too easy to say "oh she's bizarre." I think OP has two options, to ignore or to try and make amends. Either way, I personally would assume that the neighbor has some basis for her lingering hurt feelings.

Also, while I agree with PPs that the fact that the woman had approached the kids a big problem and something that would make me wary, I also think people are blowing it way out of proportion. They are neighbors. It's not like she tracked these kids down. What she said to them was inappropriate but only because the kids were not the correct recipient for that info. It's not like she did something scary, just kind of weird and awkward. At least in my opinion. I don't think I'd be worried about this woman being dangerous based on what OP described. I'd just worry about future awkward interactions, which is why I'd probably choose to reach out to the neighbor and try to bury the hatchet if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people are being so mean to OP.

OP your neighbor is a lunatic. Even if you inadvertently or purposely hurt her feelings 20+ years ago, she should not be sharing that with neighbors and your kids unless they ask about the past connection.

Unfortunately for this new neighbor, she is going to get herself branded as a weirdo who has no social skills or filter. And then - surprise! - she is going to think the fact that she hasn’t formed relationship in the neighborhood is due to OP when it’s really due to her lack of social skills.

I hope new neighbor gets the help she needs to make peace with past grievances and learn how to socialize. It’s not a stretch to imagine how someone who acts like that as an adult might have been excluded or perceived as a weirdo growing up.

I say all of this as a frequently awkward, never popular person who at least has enough sense to act “normal” when needed.

Totally this. I'd find it so freaking weird if a new neighbor came up to me and told me another neighbor bullied her in high school. I'd steer clear. But she will think it is OP's fault when the neighbors seem to be keeping their distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP must have been an absolutely awful person in high school to elicit this type of behavior from her neighbor so many years later. I doubt it is all in the neighbor's head. Especially if neighbor's husband is also making comments.

Yes, when bizarre people behave bizarrely, it must indeed be the fault of the recipient of their behavior. You do realize that behavior is generally not able to be blamed or attributed to someone else, right?

I do agree the fact that the husband alluded to issues in high school indicates there is a real and valid reason for the neighbor's behavior. I think it' too easy to say "oh she's bizarre." I think OP has two options, to ignore or to try and make amends. Either way, I personally would assume that the neighbor has some basis for her lingering hurt feelings.

Also, while I agree with PPs that the fact that the woman had approached the kids a big problem and something that would make me wary, I also think people are blowing it way out of proportion. They are neighbors. It's not like she tracked these kids down. What she said to them was inappropriate but only because the kids were not the correct recipient for that info. It's not like she did something scary, just kind of weird and awkward. At least in my opinion. I don't think I'd be worried about this woman being dangerous based on what OP described. I'd just worry about future awkward interactions, which is why I'd probably choose to reach out to the neighbor and try to bury the hatchet if possible.

The husband simply said the women didn’t get along. He didn’t mention this “bullying”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It sounds like you were snobby and exclusive towards her.

You and your friends considered her “socially awkward” and were exclusive to her. She was probably just trying to be friendly and your friends interpreted that as her pushing her self into situations where she was t welcome. Because you were too cool to hang out with her.

And she remembers that you were snobby and mean and exclusive.

There were girls like that in my high school class. I would hate to live near them or work near them because they would bring up bad feelings.

So yeah, you were a mean girl in high school and now it’s coming back to bite you.

Can’t say I feel sorry for you.

What's ironic is that the mean girl and a gal the mean girls thought was beneath them ended up in the same neighborhood, i.e. same level of professional and social status. That has to burn the washed up mean girl OP. I'm guessing the other mean girl friends OP reached out to are more successful and married better, so they're onward and upward, while OP has to toil amongst people she thought she was better than. Ouch.

+1

Nailed it.
I
Mean girl is stunted, probably hasn't moved out of her home town, and is crying about the new neighbor with bigger boobs: "SHE is going DOWN!!"

Yeah that’s… not it. Are you 14? Bigger boobs? You think that’s why people got bullied or bullied?

Maybe - bullies aren't exactly the stable types, especially adult bullies.

Not saying this is the case with OP, but OP should try to be the bigger person.

I don’t think you’re actually reading and comprehending the inanity of what the prior poster said. They stated that OP bullied this girl because she had bigger boobs and now, once more, is triggered by this woman’s massive breasts and is determined to take her down. Apparently, they are very familiar with high school only because they’re still in it.

PP here. No, I used this example because it happened to my friend, in her neighborhood. The bully never left her hometown, and never grew up, that's all. I guess you want to make something more of it, but that is your choice.

In OP's case, I would ignore the situation. Since OP asked. Grown women can be out of control sometimes, is all. Case in point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if your story is true and she approached your children.

That person is insane stay away. Ignore do not ingage.

Tell your children to be careful around her.

This thread is bizzare. If the woman has a beef with OP then fine take it up with OP but to approach her children means she's got a screw loose and why in the world should OP engage?

While i understand some bullies in HS are awful we have no idea what really transpired then, but we do know the HS person talked to children, who the H doese that?

Uh, you sound insane...