I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if the kids are sick, can you take off and stay home with them. Can you do all (and schedule) after school activities, doctors appointments, last minute things as if she starts working she will have no leave and depending on the job, no flexibility. Are you willing to grocery shop, cook, make lunches, help with homework, drive for activities every day? Again, she'll have no flexibility for a while?

Guess what-- those of us who are working parents do ALL of those things. It is very doable.

Right? Why can't they share those duties, like millions of other two-earner households? The kids are in high school. They can make their own lunches and do their own homework. Heck, they can help cook meals. I know I did in high school.

I think the issue needs to be raised in a respectful manner -- sit down with the numbers and show her your income, expenses, and various savings. Talk about your goals and how you can get there. Figure out a plan together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if the kids are sick, can you take off and stay home with them. Can you do all (and schedule) after school activities, doctors appointments, last minute things as if she starts working she will have no leave and depending on the job, no flexibility. Are you willing to grocery shop, cook, make lunches, help with homework, drive for activities every day? Again, she'll have no flexibility for a while?

Guess what-- those of us who are working parents do ALL of those things. It is very doable.

Right? Why can't they share those duties, like millions of other two-earner households? The kids are in high school. They can make their own lunches and do their own homework. Heck, they can help cook meals. I know I did in high school.

I think the issue needs to be raised in a respectful manner -- sit down with the numbers and show her your income, expenses, and various savings. Talk about your goals and how you can get there. Figure out a plan together.

They are responding to the insane people telling him to divorce; it which case he's on his own half the time to do everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

Her kids are in HS... most HS students are gone from 7a-6p... she was a rockstar 10 years ago but now she is lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if the kids are sick, can you take off and stay home with them. Can you do all (and schedule) after school activities, doctors appointments, last minute things as if she starts working she will have no leave and depending on the job, no flexibility. Are you willing to grocery shop, cook, make lunches, help with homework, drive for activities every day? Again, she'll have no flexibility for a while?

Guess what-- those of us who are working parents do ALL of those things. It is very doable.

Right? Why can't they share those duties, like millions of other two-earner households? The kids are in high school. They can make their own lunches and do their own homework. Heck, they can help cook meals. I know I did in high school.

I think the issue needs to be raised in a respectful manner -- sit down with the numbers and show her your income, expenses, and various savings. Talk about your goals and how you can get there. Figure out a plan together.

They are responding to the insane people telling him to divorce; it which case he's on his own half the time to do everything.

But everything (when he is alone) is practically nothing. The house doesn't get dirty and he has a kid (or his kids) cut the lawn for $30/week in the summer. No big deal. A cleaning person ever other week for $150. BFD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

Her kids are in HS... most HS students are gone from 7a-6p... she was a rockstar 10 years ago but now she is lazy.

I have to say if you are still working part time and your kids are gone all day long, and you are resisting going full time, while your husband is fretting about finances and college tuition, yes, I would think you are lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

They both raise their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's wife is a SPEECH THERAPIST.

School-based speech therapists have summers off and teacher's holidays. And their hours depend on the school's hours.

Stop saying OP's wife would never be able to help her kids with doctor's appointments and stuff like that.

It sounds ideal. She does all the house, and kid related chores yet still has a pretty good job.

They should have had some college funds saved by now. Over spending might be the real problem, it typically is for all brackets.

It may make more sense to cut back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

Her kids are in HS... most HS students are gone from 7a-6p... she was a rockstar 10 years ago but now she is lazy.

I have to say if you are still working part time and your kids are gone all day long, and you are resisting going full time, while your husband is fretting about finances and college tuition, yes, I would think you are lazy.

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

Who do you think raises the teenage kids of working parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

I'm assuming the DW does everything home related as well. I sense some jealousy from women who would love to be in that position. Probably because they have to pick up the slack from their husbands who won't do their fair share at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her divorce, or she works. I am a female and I can not imagine not pulling my weight financially in a relationship.

This first answer is really the only answer. Either this is a deal breaker for you, or it isn't. I hope you both can work through this peacefully.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I have been discussing me going back to work PT when youngest is in school. I made blueberry muffins today for my older kids' after school snack. He ate one and said no one I'm ever going back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's wife is a SPEECH THERAPIST.

School-based speech therapists have summers off and teacher's holidays. And their hours depend on the school's hours.

Stop saying OP's wife would never be able to help her kids with doctor's appointments and stuff like that.

It sounds ideal. She does all the house, and kid related chores yet still has a pretty good job.

They should have had some college funds saved by now. Over spending might be the real problem, it typically is for all brackets.

It may make more sense to cut back.

Maybe they could cut back on the house cleaners who come weekly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some scripts on Mr Money Mustache on how to talk to your spouse re: money. You might have to look around a bit to find them.

Big picture it sounds like you are overstressed and your health is suffering from the stress. I'd emphasize that to her.

If she wants to stay part time I'd suggest downsizing your life.
Sell a car. Move to an apartment. Buy clothes at thrift shops etc. Get the $25 per month phone plan. Eliminate cable etc.

Why should the family downsize to underwrite the wife's laziness?

I think it is a bit much to call the wife "lazy" since we are only hearing from the person who is writing the story.

She raises the kids and works part time, but she's lazy? WTH?

I'm assuming the DW does everything home related as well. I sense some jealousy from women who would love to be in that position. Probably because they have to pick up the slack from their husbands who won't do their fair share at home.

There is nothing enviable about being married to a GS15 who wishes to god you would go back to work. It's not a happy situation.