I'm making a choice that could break my family apart.

[Anonymous]

They can find another surrogate if that's what they are looking into. Family can still help out with the financial aspect. You being the surrogate sounds like a potential disaster.

[Anonymous]

I give up OP. You refuse to see your role in precipitating this, whether intentional or not. Hopefully your SIL will get far far away from you and her clueless DH and heal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give up OP. You refuse to see your role in precipitating this, whether intentional or not. Hopefully your SIL will get far far away from you and her clueless DH and heal.

You are really strange if you still think the OP is at fault here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They can find another surrogate if that's what they are looking into. Family can still help out with the financial aspect. You being the surrogate sounds like a potential disaster.

They are separating read the update^^^ the OP saId bil had enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give up OP. You refuse to see your role in precipitating this, whether intentional or not. Hopefully your SIL will get far far away from you and her clueless DH and heal.

You are a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the update, OP. FWIW, I am totally in your corner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give up OP. You refuse to see your role in precipitating this, whether intentional or not. Hopefully your SIL will get far far away from you and her clueless DH and heal.

Okay pp I'll bite. How did op precipitate this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give up OP. You refuse to see your role in precipitating this, whether intentional or not. Hopefully your SIL will get far far away from you and her clueless DH and heal.

What do you want op to do? Open a vein and hand over her baby to her sil?

I think op handled it beautifully and am glad sil is getting the help she obviously needs.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, OP. Some of the people on this forum are diabolical- I guess that goes with the territory of being able to post anonymously. I think what you offered your in-laws was insanely generous and I'm sorry it turned out the way it did. It sounds like everything on their end was already falling apart and your offer opened the floodgates. That's on them. I hope you can get your distance and lick your wounds...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would completely forgive her. She's been through hell. But I wouldn't be a surrogate. It sounds like she doesn't want you to but is saying yes with conditions because the husband made her say yes.

I think you're wrong. I think she REALLY wants her to be the surrogate. She clearly is longing for a child. I think she's just afraid it won't work out and is messing it up herself to save herself the misery of another disappointment. It sounds like she's had a long long struggle with infertility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the update, OP. FWIW, I am totally in your corner

+2. I am so sorry the way things have worked out here. Hopefully the space everyone is taken will provide some calm and perspective. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, OP. I think what you offered showed a lot of kindness, compassion, and generosity and I'm so sorry that there has been so much turmoil around what could have been something beautiful.

I have no doubt the coming weeks will be very tough for your family, but hopefully you SIL can get the grief counselling she so desperately needs, and maybe can find some peace, even if it's just a shred of it.

Please stay the kind of person you are, despite the narrative of this story at the moment.

[Anonymous]

OP - I think your SIL is writing all the crazy nasty posts here. Just too much crazy to be real. You handled it beautifully as did your husband. I wish you all the best and you absolutely made the right decision - I hope you feel that. God Bless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give up OP. You refuse to see your role in precipitating this, whether intentional or not. Hopefully your SIL will get far far away from you and her clueless DH and heal.

This person is a troll. Do not respond to these posts. Just call troll if you must, but don't respond otherwise.

[Anonymous]

OP, thanks for the update. I was thinking about you today and wondering how things were going.

You've done a truly wonderful and selfless thing. There's no way around that. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just plain wrong.

I'm not surprised your BIL wants out of his marriage. That makes sense to me, and that begins to explain the way your SIL reacted, exploding and unleashing all her pent-up anger on you.

You all have to be suffering, and there's no way to get around that. It's a rough situation, and you really tried your best to make it better.

I wouldn't give up your your SIL yet. If she gets the help she needs, she may heal and may be able to work through her pain and anger. She may not stay married to your BIL, but she may one day see your generous offer for what it was, and will understand it was made out of love. And you may have a relationship, a different relationship, but anything is possible.

Best of luck to you. Retreat from the situation. You tried to help your friend and your BIL, and you weren't able to fix their problems. If you love someone, you want to help them, but sometimes you just can't, and you have to accept that, no matter how much pain it causes you.

You are a good person, OP. Generous and loving, and no one will ever take that away from you. You have a rare kind of generosity. Hold onto that.