Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that many men would feel insecure and apprehensive if their girlfriend had sex with 30 or more men before them. No doubt, many such men would not likely marry a woman that had sex with more than 30 men. Many men think women are sluts and permanently damaged and worthless if they've had more than 10 men, let alone 30 or more.

It is entirely possible that a man could feel literal disgust at a woman who has had 30+ partners.

That is not being insecure - that is being smart.

Disgust? Why, though? Wouldn't a man be overjoyed with marrying a woman that's ridden so many men? She's experienced! She's sexually "empowered" and has no hesitation to grab any man that makes her "tingle" and very comfortable in pursuing her desires to get screwed silly as much as she can! Isn't such a passionate, empowered attitude a good thing in a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that many men would feel insecure and apprehensive if their girlfriend had sex with 30 or more men before them. No doubt, many such men would not likely marry a woman that had sex with more than 30 men. Many men think women are sluts and permanently damaged and worthless if they've had more than 10 men, let alone 30 or more.

It is entirely possible that a man could feel literal disgust at a woman who has had 30+ partners.

That is not being insecure - that is being smart.

What about men who've had 30+ partners? Should women discount them as permanently damaged and worthless?

OP here - I think some women would be really turned off by that.

Then again, I meet many who arent.

Its commonly known that women love preselection evidence that other women find a male attractive - makes them more attractive.

Men or women should chose what they want in a partner.

In my experience, I don't like women who have had a lot of partners. I've also noticed that not one woman has ever walked away from me once she figured out that I have had as many partners as I have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hundreds, but only if she paid well!

At some point, it just doesn't make sense to do it for free when one could go pro.

[Anonymous]

Some women can have sex with lots of men and not have it affect them in the least. I had sex with one boyfriend before I met my DH and I was devasted by the casual way he treated our relationship. I am one of those women that feels a strong conection through sex. Multiple sex partners would have lowered my self esteem. I have been married to my DH for 17 years and I don't feel like I have missed out on not having 17 sex partners. I can tell that my DD is just like me and I am encouraging her to hold off on having sex until she is in a serious committed relationship.

[Anonymous]

Any more than 2 or 3 would upset me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

Her natural instinct would be to care deeply for a male, marry him and have children with him, with some reasonable assurance that he will be a good husband and an even better father. She and her husband (or would be husband) would hopefully find sex pleasurable, fulfilling and reinforce their bonding. There is a very big chance that some relationships before marriage may not work out and there will be some heartbreak too. But her instincts would always be to find the "one".

So all this bullshit about women wanting multiple sex partners seem to me to serve the male agenda more than the female. Multiple partners may happen but mainly because relationships do not work out.

She can have a new partner temporarily, just for the fun of it, only if she can behave like a man and have no emotional and psychological impact from this coupling. Since this would be unnatural, unhealthy and distressing to her, she needs to be careful about jumping on the "everybody-have-indiscriminate-sex" bandwagon.

Ah, the soothing warmth of benevolent sexism. You see, women really don't want to have casual sex. They just want a relationship with a "good man."

Some woman want the former. Some want the latter. Some want to have the former while looking for the latter. That's how people work. No one is arguing that women or men should have sex they don't want to have. But there is nothing wrong with casual sex - even lots of casual sex - for women or men, as long as it's safe sex.

+1 And for all these people saying it's fine for men to have casual sex but not women, pray tell, who are they fucking if it's not women, since after all, women shouldn't be having casual sex and all

They are sleeping with those women here who are advocating that multiple sex partners outside of a relationship is something that women enjoy.

[Anonymous]

soon to come: slut champions to come shame these recent female PPs as being sexist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

Her natural instinct would be to care deeply for a male, marry him and have children with him, with some reasonable assurance that he will be a good husband and an even better father. She and her husband (or would be husband) would hopefully find sex pleasurable, fulfilling and reinforce their bonding. There is a very big chance that some relationships before marriage may not work out and there will be some heartbreak too. But her instincts would always be to find the "one".

So all this bullshit about women wanting multiple sex partners seem to me to serve the male agenda more than the female. Multiple partners may happen but mainly because relationships do not work out.

She can have a new partner temporarily, just for the fun of it, only if she can behave like a man and have no emotional and psychological impact from this coupling. Since this would be unnatural, unhealthy and distressing to her, she needs to be careful about jumping on the "everybody-have-indiscriminate-sex" bandwagon.

Ah, the soothing warmth of benevolent sexism. You see, women really don't want to have casual sex. They just want a relationship with a "good man."

Some woman want the former. Some want the latter. Some want to have the former while looking for the latter. That's how people work. No one is arguing that women or men should have sex they don't want to have. But there is nothing wrong with casual sex - even lots of casual sex - for women or men, as long as it's safe sex.

+1 And for all these people saying it's fine for men to have casual sex but not women, pray tell, who are they fucking if it's not women, since after all, women shouldn't be having casual sex and all

They are sleeping with those women here who are advocating that multiple sex partners outside of a relationship is something that women enjoy.

actually mostly its that sex partners amongst males are not even distributed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Philosophically, it is a good thing generally to have some sexual experience with several lovers. To learn about others, yourself, likes, dislikes and so on. Having said that, for some, being virginal and having just one sexual partner *can* be fulfilling. Ideally, it would be great if my daughter was fulfilled with her first, whom would be her husband. That's not realistic, though, so I think some experience would be good. As to a number? As many have said, numbers aren't really what's important. Is 5, 10, or 15 enough? *shrugs*.

In general, men are less emotionally involved than women. Women can do multiple men and have fun, and be fine. However, there does seem to a point...where after "x" number of lovers, the women do seem to suffer emotionally too much, and experience some form of emotional and psychological damage that consequently damages their ability to effectively develop a stable, successful monogamous relationship. Men may experience this as well, though to a lesser degree. It is furthermore complicated by individual and degree, for different women. Some women might have 15, or 20 or 50 men, and be fine. Other women, however, can suffer the emotional and relational damage. It seems to be a variable dynamic.

I think, though, that there's good evidence that suggests that the more men that women have sex with, the chances increase that she will suffer emotionally and psychologically to a degree that men do not experience.

Thus, it's not a good idea for a woman to just gorge herself on sexing lots of men.

And yet, having some experience with some "x" number of partners is good and healthy. Where that mysterious "danger" number is, while real, seems to be variable for individual women. Meanwhile men often like to pick an arbitrary number, and any woman beyond that is a "worthless slut".

Citation please.

Citation? No citation is needed. I have observed through life that women that have banged "lots" of men, have had lots of problems. Not "every" very promiscuous woman, but many. As I mentioned, a specific "number" seems vague and variable, but there does seem to be extensive negative emotional and relational effects on promiscuous women. Thus, I would counsel a woman to be cautious and not be promiscuous. I don't need "studies" or "citations" to show what I have seen with my own experience. Others might have entirely different experience. I wouldn't encourage my daughter however, to just jump in and be promiscuous.

Of course a citation is needed if you are going to make sweeping generalizations about 51% of the population. It's very nice that you have "observed" things "through life" and all, but your personal experiences are insufficient to make such broad claims about billions of people on this planet.

To illustrate, through what I have "observed through life," women who have banged lots of men haven't had any more problems than women who haven't. So, who wins?

So, "who wins"? I suppose you could advise a woman to be as promiscuous as she desires, and have sex with every man that makes her "tingle". I wouldn't, though. I would not recommend that being promiscuous is great. Women seem to suffer more from such than men. Not all, but many. Being promiscuous doesn't seem to be the wisest choice for women.

I meant "who wins" in terms of "whose life observations control"? This is why citations are needed, because "studies" and "citations" are based on more than just "my limited life experiences as filtered through my own conscious and unconscious biases." If you're going to make those kinds of claims about all women and their sexual experiences, then to have any validity, it should be based on fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that many men would feel insecure and apprehensive if their girlfriend had sex with 30 or more men before them. No doubt, many such men would not likely marry a woman that had sex with more than 30 men. Many men think women are sluts and permanently damaged and worthless if they've had more than 10 men, let alone 30 or more.

It is entirely possible that a man could feel literal disgust at a woman who has had 30+ partners.

That is not being insecure - that is being smart.

Disgust? Why, though? Wouldn't a man be overjoyed with marrying a woman that's ridden so many men? She's experienced! She's sexually "empowered" and has no hesitation to grab any man that makes her "tingle" and very comfortable in pursuing her desires to get screwed silly as much as she can! Isn't such a passionate, empowered attitude a good thing in a woman?

Blanket statements like this are not applicable to all men. I know men who would be completely comfortable with a woman who had more than 30 partners. They don't view sex as something that is dirty or something that contaminates a person's body.

The kind of disgust you are talking about is based in a view of sex as something dirty and contaminating. It's a superstition.

If you feel that way, bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that many men would feel insecure and apprehensive if their girlfriend had sex with 30 or more men before them. No doubt, many such men would not likely marry a woman that had sex with more than 30 men. Many men think women are sluts and permanently damaged and worthless if they've had more than 10 men, let alone 30 or more.

It is entirely possible that a man could feel literal disgust at a woman who has had 30+ partners.

That is not being insecure - that is being smart.

Disgust? Why, though? Wouldn't a man be overjoyed with marrying a woman that's ridden so many men? She's experienced! She's sexually "empowered" and has no hesitation to grab any man that makes her "tingle" and very comfortable in pursuing her desires to get screwed silly as much as she can! Isn't such a passionate, empowered attitude a good thing in a woman?

Blanket statements like this are not applicable to all men. I know men who would be completely comfortable with a woman who had more than 30 partners. They don't view sex as something that is dirty or something that contaminates a person's body.

The kind of disgust you are talking about is based in a view of sex as something dirty and contaminating. It's a superstition.

If you feel that way, bless your heart.

Do you think there are any QUALITY men whose opinion of a women is positively correlated to the number of sex partners she has had?

Oh honey, the thought of you sucking 50 different dicks just makes me so much more attracted to you!
Oh sweetie, I'm so glad you had those threesomes in college! can we have one now? no?
Oh kitten, it was 50 sweaty men that you stuck their dicks in your vagina? WOW that makes me feel really special!


Not a god damn one, thats how many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men and women are different sexually.
Men wake up everyday full of testosterone with millions of sperm ready to make babies everyday.
Women have one precious egg a month. For 1 week a month they will have all the feel good hormones kicking in telling them all is right with the world, they will feel very sexually aroused when they are ovulating and the body tells them go have sex now. If the egg is not fertilized then the hormones start to fall and the yucky pms ones set in. Now a woman feels less happy with the world. The body is saying"I didn't get pregnant so get away from me now you (man) are not needed this week." Then a woman bleeds, it is like a period of mourning and the hormones settle down. It all starts again the next month. All of these hormones effect how men and women bond with each other. We use are intellect and the "norms" of society to overcome our differences. BC pills do alter how a woman feels. But I think any mother needs to tell her daughter why she may have different emotional feelings than a man when it comes to sex and why she feels differently during different weeks in the month.

This is an honest answer from an honest woman.Men and women are not the same. people!!

Assuming this is accurate - which it isn't in my experience, FYI - what on earth does this have to do with how many sexual partners men/women "should" have? Gag on the "precious egg" bit. please don't glorify my ovaries. It's creepy.

I am the OP but not the PP in this original quote here. Because the outcomes are so vastly different.Male and female have sex. Male walks away and is never seen again. Female is pregnant for 9 months and has child to care for for 18 years+. Male could never think about it ever again. See how sex is different? And yes, we have found ways to reduce this in current times - but the emotional hard wiring that protects/motivates both genders in this experience still remains and can't be evolved away in two generations.

The reproductive cost for women is exponentially higher biologically, emotionally and socially than for men. This forum is full of women who have left their careers to stay at home for their babies, and those who are working struggling with the challenges of motherhood and childcare. So the whole SAHM and WOHM debate happens because biologically the women are having babies and their brain chemistry which is determining their bonding with their infants,

Can my daughter have sex with men with the same detachment that men have sex with women? Even with condoms and pills - can she be untouched emotionally, compartmentalize sex and carry on with her goals and career? If she can't - then she has no business to have sex unless she is looking for a partner - in that case in her 20s.

Is it healthy to try and overcome the natural instincts and feelings that you lay out there? Just so she can have a new penis inside of her temporarily?

Her natural instinct would be to care deeply for a male, marry him and have children with him, with some reasonable assurance that he will be a good husband and an even better father. She and her husband (or would be husband) would hopefully find sex pleasurable, fulfilling and reinforce their bonding. There is a very big chance that some relationships before marriage may not work out and there will be some heartbreak too. But her instincts would always be to find the "one".

So all this bullshit about women wanting multiple sex partners seem to me to serve the male agenda more than the female. Multiple partners may happen but mainly because relationships do not work out.

She can have a new partner temporarily, just for the fun of it, only if she can behave like a man and have no emotional and psychological impact from this coupling. Since this would be unnatural, unhealthy and distressing to her, she needs to be careful about jumping on the "everybody-have-indiscriminate-sex" bandwagon.

Ah, the soothing warmth of benevolent sexism. You see, women really don't want to have casual sex. They just want a relationship with a "good man."

Some woman want the former. Some want the latter. Some want to have the former while looking for the latter. That's how people work. No one is arguing that women or men should have sex they don't want to have. But there is nothing wrong with casual sex - even lots of casual sex - for women or men, as long as it's safe sex.

+1 And for all these people saying it's fine for men to have casual sex but not women, pray tell, who are they fucking if it's not women, since after all, women shouldn't be having casual sex and all

They are sleeping with those women here who are advocating that multiple sex partners outside of a relationship is something that women enjoy.

Some women enjoy it and some don't. The point is not that all women should have a lot of partners, but that women who do have a lot of partners should not be shamed or abused for it. If you enjoy sport fucking, by all means carry on. If you don't, then don't do it. It's not a morality issue. it's not a mental health issue.

And to go back to OP's question, it's not their parents' business. It's not OP's business. It's not anybody's business. Get your nose out of other people's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that many men would feel insecure and apprehensive if their girlfriend had sex with 30 or more men before them. No doubt, many such men would not likely marry a woman that had sex with more than 30 men. Many men think women are sluts and permanently damaged and worthless if they've had more than 10 men, let alone 30 or more.

It is entirely possible that a man could feel literal disgust at a woman who has had 30+ partners.

That is not being insecure - that is being smart.

Disgust? Why, though? Wouldn't a man be overjoyed with marrying a woman that's ridden so many men? She's experienced! She's sexually "empowered" and has no hesitation to grab any man that makes her "tingle" and very comfortable in pursuing her desires to get screwed silly as much as she can! Isn't such a passionate, empowered attitude a good thing in a woman?

Blanket statements like this are not applicable to all men. I know men who would be completely comfortable with a woman who had more than 30 partners. They don't view sex as something that is dirty or something that contaminates a person's body.

The kind of disgust you are talking about is based in a view of sex as something dirty and contaminating. It's a superstition.

If you feel that way, bless your heart.

Do you think there are any QUALITY men whose opinion of a women is positively correlated to the number of sex partners she has had?

Oh honey, the thought of you sucking 50 different dicks just makes me so much more attracted to you!
Oh sweetie, I'm so glad you had those threesomes in college! can we have one now? no?
Oh kitten, it was 50 sweaty men that you stuck their dicks in your vagina? WOW that makes me feel really special!


Not a god damn one, thats how many.

Speak for yourself.

You are clearly fairly sexually and socially inexperienced or you would know more quality men who don't care.

I'm sorry for your ignorance. There isn't much help for it, though.

[Anonymous]

Why do people want to be free to act with judgment from others?

You can do whatever you want, but you're going to be judged for it.

Your potential future partners will judge you for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that many men would feel insecure and apprehensive if their girlfriend had sex with 30 or more men before them. No doubt, many such men would not likely marry a woman that had sex with more than 30 men. Many men think women are sluts and permanently damaged and worthless if they've had more than 10 men, let alone 30 or more.

It is entirely possible that a man could feel literal disgust at a woman who has had 30+ partners.

That is not being insecure - that is being smart.

Disgust? Why, though? Wouldn't a man be overjoyed with marrying a woman that's ridden so many men? She's experienced! She's sexually "empowered" and has no hesitation to grab any man that makes her "tingle" and very comfortable in pursuing her desires to get screwed silly as much as she can! Isn't such a passionate, empowered attitude a good thing in a woman?

Blanket statements like this are not applicable to all men. I know men who would be completely comfortable with a woman who had more than 30 partners. They don't view sex as something that is dirty or something that contaminates a person's body.

The kind of disgust you are talking about is based in a view of sex as something dirty and contaminating. It's a superstition.

If you feel that way, bless your heart.

Do you think there are any QUALITY men whose opinion of a women is positively correlated to the number of sex partners she has had?

Oh honey, the thought of you sucking 50 different dicks just makes me so much more attracted to you!
Oh sweetie, I'm so glad you had those threesomes in college! can we have one now? no?
Oh kitten, it was 50 sweaty men that you stuck their dicks in your vagina? WOW that makes me feel really special!


Not a god damn one, thats how many.

Speak for yourself.

You are clearly fairly sexually and socially inexperienced or you would know more quality men who don't care.

I'm sorry for your ignorance. There isn't much help for it, though.

Nice try.

But no.

There is not a single person on the planet who can make this argument with a straight face:

ALL OTHER THINGS EQUAL: I chose the higher partner number over the lower

Impossible. not going to happen. all other things equal like hotness, sex quality, self confidence, self image, all that