What do you say?

[Anonymous]

OP here

Don't worry about it

I was just so REALLY mad

I'm not jawing at anyone except here

I don't even use that expression

It's OK I am just having a really really bad day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

Don't worry about it

I was just so REALLY mad

I'm not jawing at anyone except here

I don't even use that expression

It's OK I am just having a really really bad day

What about it is bad for you? You are disappointed in your son. But he needs space and time to think. And maybe no person is a truly safe person right now. Because everybody probably has ideas that don't 100% match with his. And he does have baby mama drama.

Maybe get some sleep. Sleep helps.

[Anonymous]

And we do not know what his thoughts and feelings and plans even were about the "girlfriend" before she said she was pregnant, did not know how long pregnant...what a week before giving birth?

[Anonymous]

OP, you must feel like a Looney Toons character that’s been mowed down by a truck. I think you are doing the right thing in supporting your grandchild. If your son chooses not to play a role in the life of his child that is his decision, and you shouldn’t blame yourself. He’s 27. And he shouldn’t make you choose between having a relationship with him and having one with Kevin.

It sounds like your ex may be pressuring your son. I hope not either way, take care of yourself and try to establish a positive relationship with Kevin’s mom. This must be quite a time for her as well.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have the energy to catch up not all the drama but at 27 you want your child of either gender to keep the baby, have custody, do a paternity test if there’s doubt, and make sure your side of the family is involved in baby’s life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You told your son you would support him always.
But even in that post you sound like were getting into being a grandmother.
Then you say you were grandmothering up.
Now circling wagons. Team baby.

You lied to your son.
I am glad he has a lawyer.

The only thing a lawyer can advise is how much child support he will have to pay, with or without joint custody. The man-child needs to decide whether or not he wants to be a part of his son's life and seek joint custody. OP is supporting her son. It might not be the way her son wants, but that does not mean she is not supporting him.

And if he decides he doesn't want to be part of that child's life and pays child support as required...

Team Son.

If he decides to abandon his child, his parents raised a piss-poor human being and failed miserably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A baby surrendered for adoption goes to a home filled with love and with a person or people who have been longing for them. That's not a sad ending. It is the beginning of a happy story.

Open your mind.

The woman wants to keep her child, what part of that statement do you not comprehend PP. Are you saying it’s not HER choice? Who is to say this child is going to have an unhappy ending with his birth mom. Open your mind, besides OP has no say in whether that woman place the child up for adoption, or not. Not her decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again

I was trying to just sit back and absorb and try not to interfere with things that are not my decision, and just told him I’d be here for whatever he needed when he needs me.

This all just started Wed night and today Tuesday he just texted me she’s delivering now at (kindly) approximately 33 weeks

Baby will need to stay in the NICU for at least a week

I have no more words, maybe they were both in such shock it caused her to go into preterm labor

His father has put him in contact with a lawyer. I don’t know what for yet. I just presume that he’s still in shock and doesn’t know how he feels about anything but it’s definitely about to get very real now.

I just hope that the actual presence of a live infant will help both of them decide where they are going to fall on all of this emotionally. I still don’t know how her mom & grandma feel about it or even if she’s told them.

He doesn’t want me to be there just now.

I imagine you never know until you’re actually there how it will all feel. I feel so helpless.

Hmmm, possible but unlikely that a 33 seeker would only spend a week in the NICU. Why did she deliver early?

I would honestly wonder whether she was more than 32 weeks, whether she’s known all along and whether your son is the father.

Yes. Oh, yes. Or wanted a baby no matter what and lied to him. I think maybe after 4 or 5 missed periods most people would do a pregnancy test.

And what is with her family? Abusive? Religious?

It was his girlfriend. Why did he not notice anything. They sleep together and he noticed nothing, no body changes, no menstrual cycling, nothing? Why didn’t he use protection? Why is everything 100% her cross to bear? Yall treating this 27 year old man like a prepubescent child. Stop. He needs to take some accountability and then responsibility as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A baby surrendered for adoption goes to a home filled with love and with a person or people who have been longing for them. That's not a sad ending. It is the beginning of a happy story.

Open your mind.

GTFOOH. Separating a baby from his mother is the beginning of unrelenting grief for her and unrecoverable loss for him. It is trauma.

And there is absolutely no guarantee that adopters are any more loving or stable than she is. The fact that they covet someone else’s baby for whatever reason (usually infertility) doesn’t mean they’re marriage is healthy, they are mentally or emotionally stable, or that they are decent people.

Statistically, all it makes more likely is that they are substantially older and more wealthy. None of that makes a child more likely to thrive or be happy or be with good people.

This child has a mother who wants him and a grandmother able to provide substantial financial support. Adoption is out of the question and a ridiculous thing to suggest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

Her body, her choice. None of your business. The decision is between the woman and her healthcare provider.

NJ poster, stop spreading lies. There is no state where a doctor would terminate a pregnancy past viability unless there was a risk to the mother’s health or life or unless the fetus had a terminal condition.

[Anonymous]

I know this is the least important thing in this whole dumpster fire of a situation, but Kevin is such a terrible name. This girlfriend is the worst.

[Anonymous]

Op, I hope you got some good sleep last night. I love the name Kevin and this baby is lucky to have you. Your kindness to the mom is the right approach.

[Anonymous]

What type of 27 year old man doesn’t handle his business and take care of his family. Pathetic.

OP is doing the right thing to support the baby mama.

[Anonymous]

What a mess! Whyy is the son receiving $3000 via Amex each month? I thought he had a job? Now, mom has started buying baby stuff even though the gf hasn't asked for anything. Mom should put down the Ativan and wait for a request from the parents.

[Anonymous]

We don't even know if they were living together or having sex frequently. "Dating" could mean many things including him not being committed to a long term relationship.
Men have choices too. I am a woman but know what it's like not to want a child. I chose accordingly.

OP sounds like she has the baby hunger.