Jealous of Big Law partner spouses?

[Anonymous]

Big law spouses work too much. Get you a man/woman in corporate affairs. All the $$ and none of the pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

For the women who married rich men and don't work, what do they want their daughters to be? Educated at GDS/Yale and marry someone rich? So 1950s?

Truly wealthy people, like women married to a Wacthell partner who has done well in the market, have trust funds already established for their daughters. They want them to be kind and happy and pursue meaningful work. They have the luxury of getting a degree from Yale and then staying home with their children if that brings them the most fulfillment.

Exactly. It gives our kids the luxury of choice. They start life with no loans and can pick a career based on what they want to do.

Sounds very boring.

And stay at home moms of rich men.... are not good role models for girls.

I have a very good friend whose mom was a CFO. She had a grandmother, nanny and housekeeper take care of her. The mom never cooked. My friend has a trust fund and is a SAHM. She is the best cook and does everything for her children.

Your childhood shapes what kind of mother you want and strive to be.

My mother also worked but we didn’t have money. So my mom worked all the time but didn’t have time or money for any extras. She raised me to study hard and work hard for everything I ever wanted. I did study hard, went to Harvard, met my husband and had a career. I now stay home with my children and do everything with them that I never got to do as a child.

I asked my boys what kind of wife they wanted and they both said they want a nice pretty smart wife who takes care of their kids.

[Anonymous]

Not all wives are in it for the money. When I got married, I had a career with no intention of ever giving it up...then we had babies. Society lies and tells women that they can have it all. That is just not true. After trying to juggle career, home and kids, I realized that its impossible to give 100% to anything and if something had to give, it was NOT going to be my family. Now I guess you can call me a tradwife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

For the women who married rich men and don't work, what do they want their daughters to be? Educated at GDS/Yale and marry someone rich? So 1950s?

Truly wealthy people, like women married to a Wacthell partner who has done well in the market, have trust funds already established for their daughters. They want them to be kind and happy and pursue meaningful work. They have the luxury of getting a degree from Yale and then staying home with their children if that brings them the most fulfillment.

Exactly. It gives our kids the luxury of choice. They start life with no loans and can pick a career based on what they want to do.

Sounds very boring.

And stay at home moms of rich men.... are not good role models for girls.

I have a very good friend whose mom was a CFO. She had a grandmother, nanny and housekeeper take care of her. The mom never cooked. My friend has a trust fund and is a SAHM. She is the best cook and does everything for her children.

Your childhood shapes what kind of mother you want and strive to be.

My mother also worked but we didn’t have money. So my mom worked all the time but didn’t have time or money for any extras. She raised me to study hard and work hard for everything I ever wanted. I did study hard, went to Harvard, met my husband and had a career. I now stay home with my children and do everything with them that I never got to do as a child.

I asked my boys what kind of wife they wanted and they both said they want a nice pretty smart wife who takes care of their kids.

Hopefully they were just dutifully giving you the affirmation you were seeking. I can’t imagine what kind of parent would ask this question, and would find it really sad if boys were being raised with the idea that it’s fine to just dump the care of children on their future wives.

[Anonymous]

There is such a divide between these miserable snarky seemingly angry posters attempting to define strangers and those giving genuine takes on their lived experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

For the women who married rich men and don't work, what do they want their daughters to be? Educated at GDS/Yale and marry someone rich? So 1950s?

Truly wealthy people, like women married to a Wacthell partner who has done well in the market, have trust funds already established for their daughters. They want them to be kind and happy and pursue meaningful work. They have the luxury of getting a degree from Yale and then staying home with their children if that brings them the most fulfillment.

Exactly. It gives our kids the luxury of choice. They start life with no loans and can pick a career based on what they want to do.

Sounds very boring.

And stay at home moms of rich men.... are not good role models for girls.

I have a very good friend whose mom was a CFO. She had a grandmother, nanny and housekeeper take care of her. The mom never cooked. My friend has a trust fund and is a SAHM. She is the best cook and does everything for her children.

Your childhood shapes what kind of mother you want and strive to be.

My mother also worked but we didn’t have money. So my mom worked all the time but didn’t have time or money for any extras. She raised me to study hard and work hard for everything I ever wanted. I did study hard, went to Harvard, met my husband and had a career. I now stay home with my children and do everything with them that I never got to do as a child.

I asked my boys what kind of wife they wanted and they both said they want a nice pretty smart wife who takes care of their kids.

Hopefully they were just dutifully giving you the affirmation you were seeking. I can’t imagine what kind of parent would ask this question, and would find it really sad if boys were being raised with the idea that it’s fine to just dump the care of children on their future wives.

If given a choice, I think most men would want an attractive smart kind wife to raise children. This is the current TikTok trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

For the women who married rich men and don't work, what do they want their daughters to be? Educated at GDS/Yale and marry someone rich? So 1950s?

Truly wealthy people, like women married to a Wacthell partner who has done well in the market, have trust funds already established for their daughters. They want them to be kind and happy and pursue meaningful work. They have the luxury of getting a degree from Yale and then staying home with their children if that brings them the most fulfillment.

Exactly. It gives our kids the luxury of choice. They start life with no loans and can pick a career based on what they want to do.

Sounds very boring.

And stay at home moms of rich men.... are not good role models for girls.

I have a very good friend whose mom was a CFO. She had a grandmother, nanny and housekeeper take care of her. The mom never cooked. My friend has a trust fund and is a SAHM. She is the best cook and does everything for her children.

Your childhood shapes what kind of mother you want and strive to be.

My mother also worked but we didn’t have money. So my mom worked all the time but didn’t have time or money for any extras. She raised me to study hard and work hard for everything I ever wanted. I did study hard, went to Harvard, met my husband and had a career. I now stay home with my children and do everything with them that I never got to do as a child.

I asked my boys what kind of wife they wanted and they both said they want a nice pretty smart wife who takes care of their kids.

Hopefully they were just dutifully giving you the affirmation you were seeking. I can’t imagine what kind of parent would ask this question, and would find it really sad if boys were being raised with the idea that it’s fine to just dump the care of children on their future wives.

If given a choice, I think most men would want an attractive smart kind wife to raise children. This is the current TikTok trend.

I don’t know about most men, and I don’t know if we should go by TikTok trends. But I have loved having a wife who shares the burden of working. It has been hard at times but we made it work, and our children are now content and well-adjusted adults. It takes the pressure off and allows us to alternate times when we go full speed ahead at work vs when we prioritize home life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m jealous of their money. Not jealous of their spouses. Most of my law school classmates who stayed in big law are honestly the most obnoxious and insufferable people I know.

+1 I think it takes a huge ego to make it in big law. Would be tough to be married to that.

+1 and they think they work harder and are more important than anyone in the whole wide world. I have never met people who complain about work more than big law attorneys. You would think they were working in a coal mine. Could not be married to that, especially if I were single-handedly shouldering 95% of the parenting, which is basically a given. I will take my and my DH's middling but adequate non-profit pay any day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

For the women who married rich men and don't work, what do they want their daughters to be? Educated at GDS/Yale and marry someone rich? So 1950s?

Truly wealthy people, like women married to a Wacthell partner who has done well in the market, have trust funds already established for their daughters. They want them to be kind and happy and pursue meaningful work. They have the luxury of getting a degree from Yale and then staying home with their children if that brings them the most fulfillment.

Exactly. It gives our kids the luxury of choice. They start life with no loans and can pick a career based on what they want to do.

Sounds very boring.

And stay at home moms of rich men.... are not good role models for girls.

Ridiculous statement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m jealous of their money. Not jealous of their spouses. Most of my law school classmates who stayed in big law are honestly the most obnoxious and insufferable people I know.

+1 I think it takes a huge ego to make it in big law. Would be tough to be married to that.

+1 and they think they work harder and are more important than anyone in the whole wide world. I have never met people who complain about work more than big law attorneys. You would think they were working in a coal mine. Could not be married to that, especially if I were single-handedly shouldering 95% of the parenting, which is basically a given. I will take my and my DH's middling but adequate non-profit pay any day.

OK but your post is off. Yes they think they work harder because they do. Your coal mine example is nonsense. Yes I would rather be a Biglaw Partner than a coal miner. Of course. But the Biglaw Partner is working way more hours at a much higher stress level for bigger stakes. And they are more important that most people. And today in 2024 who gives 95% of the parenting to the stay at home wife? Almost no one including Biglaw partners. Is it more than 50% on the wife? Sure. But most Biglaw partners are pretty heavily involved in children's lives. This is not 1970 or 1980.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m jealous of their money. Not jealous of their spouses. Most of my law school classmates who stayed in big law are honestly the most obnoxious and insufferable people I know.

+1 I think it takes a huge ego to make it in big law. Would be tough to be married to that.

+1 and they think they work harder and are more important than anyone in the whole wide world. I have never met people who complain about work more than big law attorneys. You would think they were working in a coal mine. Could not be married to that, especially if I were single-handedly shouldering 95% of the parenting, which is basically a given. I will take my and my DH's middling but adequate non-profit pay any day.

OK but your post is off. Yes they think they work harder because they do. Your coal mine example is nonsense. Yes I would rather be a Biglaw Partner than a coal miner. Of course. But the Biglaw Partner is working way more hours at a much higher stress level for bigger stakes. And they are more important that most people. And today in 2024 who gives 95% of the parenting to the stay at home wife? Almost no one including Biglaw partners. Is it more than 50% on the wife? Sure. But most Biglaw partners are pretty heavily involved in children's lives. This is not 1970 or 1980.

Do you truly think a big law partner is "important than most people?" Gross. Unless you count paying for stuff as parenting, I absolutely know people whose big law DHs do almost no parenting. Let's say 90% is on the wife. I am thinking of a dad who does not see his kids in the morning, does no shuttling around weekday evenings, doesn't eat dinner with his kids, and never puts them to bed. Maybe he takes them to soccer on Saturday but works half the weekend. You really think this isn't happening?

I see posts here about it every other week!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m jealous of their money. Not jealous of their spouses. Most of my law school classmates who stayed in big law are honestly the most obnoxious and insufferable people I know.

+1 I think it takes a huge ego to make it in big law. Would be tough to be married to that.

+1 and they think they work harder and are more important than anyone in the whole wide world. I have never met people who complain about work more than big law attorneys. You would think they were working in a coal mine. Could not be married to that, especially if I were single-handedly shouldering 95% of the parenting, which is basically a given. I will take my and my DH's middling but adequate non-profit pay any day.

OK but your post is off. Yes they think they work harder because they do. Your coal mine example is nonsense. Yes I would rather be a Biglaw Partner than a coal miner. Of course. But the Biglaw Partner is working way more hours at a much higher stress level for bigger stakes. And they are more important that most people. And today in 2024 who gives 95% of the parenting to the stay at home wife? Almost no one including Biglaw partners. Is it more than 50% on the wife? Sure. But most Biglaw partners are pretty heavily involved in children's lives. This is not 1970 or 1980.

Do you truly think a big law partner is "important than most people?" Gross. Unless you count paying for stuff as parenting, I absolutely know people whose big law DHs do almost no parenting. Let's say 90% is on the wife. I am thinking of a dad who does not see his kids in the morning, does no shuttling around weekday evenings, doesn't eat dinner with his kids, and never puts them to bed. Maybe he takes them to soccer on Saturday but works half the weekend. You really think this isn't happening?

I see posts here about it every other week!

Do most people argue cases before the Supreme Court? Do most people negotiate multi billion dollar deals? Do most people receive $3000 per hour to think about things and give advice?

What planet are you on? Yes, big law attorneys do important work. That's why other people are willing to pay them millions of dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m jealous of their money. Not jealous of their spouses. Most of my law school classmates who stayed in big law are honestly the most obnoxious and insufferable people I know.

Really? This is not true of my ls classmates. In fact the two nicest people I know are "BigLaw" partners, and one is a managing partner.

You’re probably one of the annoying people then lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m jealous of their money. Not jealous of their spouses. Most of my law school classmates who stayed in big law are honestly the most obnoxious and insufferable people I know.

+1 I think it takes a huge ego to make it in big law. Would be tough to be married to that.

+1 and they think they work harder and are more important than anyone in the whole wide world. I have never met people who complain about work more than big law attorneys. You would think they were working in a coal mine. Could not be married to that, especially if I were single-handedly shouldering 95% of the parenting, which is basically a given. I will take my and my DH's middling but adequate non-profit pay any day.

OK but your post is off. Yes they think they work harder because they do. Your coal mine example is nonsense. Yes I would rather be a Biglaw Partner than a coal miner. Of course. But the Biglaw Partner is working way more hours at a much higher stress level for bigger stakes. And they are more important that most people. And today in 2024 who gives 95% of the parenting to the stay at home wife? Almost no one including Biglaw partners. Is it more than 50% on the wife? Sure. But most Biglaw partners are pretty heavily involved in children's lives. This is not 1970 or 1980.

Do you truly think a big law partner is "important than most people?" Gross. Unless you count paying for stuff as parenting, I absolutely know people whose big law DHs do almost no parenting. Let's say 90% is on the wife. I am thinking of a dad who does not see his kids in the morning, does no shuttling around weekday evenings, doesn't eat dinner with his kids, and never puts them to bed. Maybe he takes them to soccer on Saturday but works half the weekend. You really think this isn't happening?

I see posts here about it every other week!

Do most people argue cases before the Supreme Court? Do most people negotiate multi billion dollar deals? Do most people receive $3000 per hour to think about things and give advice?

What planet are you on? Yes, big law attorneys do important work. That's why other people are willing to pay them millions of dollars.

NP and in biglaw myself — let’s not conflate capitalistic necessary evils or per hour payment with importance. The vast majority of big law attorneys, myself included, are not doing work that is important or contributing positively to the world in a meaningful way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

For the women who married rich men and don't work, what do they want their daughters to be? Educated at GDS/Yale and marry someone rich? So 1950s?

Truly wealthy people, like women married to a Wacthell partner who has done well in the market, have trust funds already established for their daughters. They want them to be kind and happy and pursue meaningful work. They have the luxury of getting a degree from Yale and then staying home with their children if that brings them the most fulfillment.

Exactly. It gives our kids the luxury of choice. They start life with no loans and can pick a career based on what they want to do.

Sounds very boring.

And stay at home moms of rich men.... are not good role models for girls.

Ridiculous statement

+1 there is nothing wrong with little girls being taught and modeled for that marrying a rich man should be their life goal. They can go to college just to say they are educated but the long term objective should be to marry rich. All the smug SAHMs on this board exemplify that traditional patriarchal norms actually do make women happy.