What is the earliest age you would buy condoms for your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have girls (14, 16) and I purchase condoms and leave them in the bathroom under the counter. They should always have 2 on them. Give them to friends too. It shouldn’t be just the guy’s responsibility. They also carry Narcan. Does that mean I am ok with them being around drugs?

I mean, yes, it does. What do you think it means?

You're crazy. I've shown my goody-two-shoes kids how to administer Narcan if they should ever be in that position as well as telling them how to do CPR and use a defibrillator. It's that kind of world now.

Do you have nicotine patches in case they get hooked on cigarettes or tobacco vapes and need them?

Do you have suboxone just in case they become addicted to opioids?

If yes, then your logic with condoms and Narcan is consistent.

If not, ask yourself why you’re stocking condoms and Narcan, even though you insist you’re not encouraging adolescent sex and drug use, just in case but not those other items, just in case.

You don't get the situation out there. I don't have too much experience with the condom issue but it is irresponsible for you to pontify about Narcan. Sounds like you are one of those 60 year olds who like to post on this forum or a mom of a little kid, you seem so out of touch.

Try again. I have a 16 year old son. My stance on sex and drugs is clear. We’ve had a lot of conversations with him about why we hold those stances and our expectations of him.

If he chooses to disobey and deviate from that despite that understanding, then that is his choice and the consequences are on him. But he can’t say he made those choices because he thought it was ok with us.

By supplying your kids with a steady supply of condoms and Narcan, you ARE normalizing that behavior, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

The consequences are on him? Death or a pregnant girl that is choosing to keep the baby and he has 50% custody and care as a high schooler?

The fact that you think your 16yr old son is just going to listen to you, not ever succumb to peer pressure, and always take this straight path is ridiculous. If anything, he will just be sneakier and never tell you. He will be the one getting into a car with a drunk driver instead of feeling safe enough to call you. And he isn't not going to have sex because you don't condone it and it will be unprotected. But kudos to you for great parenting!! Teens have poor frontal lobes and they don't fear much or think things thru. They make a ton of mistakes. It shouldn't mean you deal with the consequences and we won't support you. That's disgusting.

You say this in one breath and then insist, feverishly, that your choice to supply your sons or daughters with condoms is the superior parenting choice, as if handing them the condoms is some infallible intervention that ensures they'll use it and practice safe sex exactly as you discussed. You're doing the same thing you're accusing me of.

Dp, no method is fool proof. It’s about risk mitigation. I don’t think family discussions are sufficient risk mitigation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have administered Narcan, epipens, and straight up epinephrine thru an IV. It can be life saving, but it certainly doesn't make anyone want to eat peanut butter, or want to overdose or want to have a heart attack.

Having a supply of Narcan is a safety measure. And having a supply of condoms is also a safety measure and it definitely doesn't mean teens are going to jump for joy when they see a condom and say, let me go find someone to have sex with. It's protection if they choose to, even after parent talks and school health talk about the mental and physical side effects of teen sex. But the fact is, most teens have sex at some point. They are horny, have a lot of peer pressure, and can be terrible decision makers.

Promoting Narcan and the use of it makes teens cavalier about the risks of drug use. I know this because I've heard it from the security staff at my son's high school, who apprehend the same kids who use over and over again and are revived by friends with Narcan repeatedly believe this and say it out loud.

There are consequences for everything, y'all. There's no "safe" way to use drugs. Teach your kids the truth.

I guess we should let the kids die. They will definitely learn their lessons that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have girls (14, 16) and I purchase condoms and leave them in the bathroom under the counter. They should always have 2 on them. Give them to friends too. It shouldn’t be just the guy’s responsibility. They also carry Narcan. Does that mean I am ok with them being around drugs?

I mean, yes, it does. What do you think it means?

You're crazy. I've shown my goody-two-shoes kids how to administer Narcan if they should ever be in that position as well as telling them how to do CPR and use a defibrillator. It's that kind of world now.

Do you have nicotine patches in case they get hooked on cigarettes or tobacco vapes and need them?

Do you have suboxone just in case they become addicted to opioids?

If yes, then your logic with condoms and Narcan is consistent.

If not, ask yourself why you’re stocking condoms and Narcan, even though you insist you’re not encouraging adolescent sex and drug use, just in case but not those other items, just in case.

You don't get the situation out there. I don't have too much experience with the condom issue but it is irresponsible for you to pontify about Narcan. Sounds like you are one of those 60 year olds who like to post on this forum or a mom of a little kid, you seem so out of touch.

Try again. I have a 16 year old son. My stance on sex and drugs is clear. We’ve had a lot of conversations with him about why we hold those stances and our expectations of him.

If he chooses to disobey and deviate from that despite that understanding, then that is his choice and the consequences are on him. But he can’t say he made those choices because he thought it was ok with us.

By supplying your kids with a steady supply of condoms and Narcan, you ARE normalizing that behavior, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

So your that mom. Yes, I've heard you mention this. We make different parenting choices.

And you're THAT parent, who breathlessly insists that they AREN'T encouraging their kids to have sex and do drugs while steadily refreshing the condom and Narcan supply without question. For some reason, THAT makes sense to you.

It makes sense to more than one of us. If you want to tell your kid “don’t have sex”, and then let the chips fall where they may when he does, have at it. I have managed to tell both of my kids that they’re not ready for sex, but when the time comes I will help them do it safely. If you think this is encouraging them, you don’t get the subtle nuances of the conversation. There is zero encouragement to go out and have sex. ZERO.

Yes. This is PRECISELY where our parenting paths diverge. There is no way in HELL that I am "helping my [adolescent] kids to have sex," safely or otherwise. Period. No way. It's inappropriate and that's not my role as a parent.

Even if they were grown adults, it would be grossly inappropriate for me to "help them" have sex. You people are too enmeshed and entangled with your sons. You have an Oedipal complex and it's sick.

Again: If you as a parent need to supply your kids and aid them in having sex, I would argue that they are not mature and responsible enough to be engaging in that kind of activity. Sex comes with REAL, ADULT consequences. You can't shield them from that even though you think you're doing something great by supplying your son with condoms and facilitating the hook-ups by closing the door behind you and turning off the lights so your teenage son can bang his girlfriend in your living room.

In the 90's my mom took me to get BCP when I was 16 and had a long term boyfriend. She actively helped me choose a path to be safe. It changed our relationship so much for the better. It really made me realize it wasn't me against my mom all the time.

But reading your write up about you thinking suppling birth control to your teens mean you are asking them to have sex in your living room or overly involved in their personal lives, just shows how ridiculous and old-fashion, and completely naive your parenting thought process is. It's sad, immature, and my way or the high way mentality. Your kids will never communicate or feel safe with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have administered Narcan, epipens, and straight up epinephrine thru an IV. It can be life saving, but it certainly doesn't make anyone want to eat peanut butter, or want to overdose or want to have a heart attack.

Having a supply of Narcan is a safety measure. And having a supply of condoms is also a safety measure and it definitely doesn't mean teens are going to jump for joy when they see a condom and say, let me go find someone to have sex with. It's protection if they choose to, even after parent talks and school health talk about the mental and physical side effects of teen sex. But the fact is, most teens have sex at some point. They are horny, have a lot of peer pressure, and can be terrible decision makers.

Promoting Narcan and the use of it makes teens cavalier about the risks of drug use. I know this because I've heard it from the security staff at my son's high school, who apprehend the same kids who use over and over again and are revived by friends with Narcan repeatedly believe this and say it out loud.

There are consequences for everything, y'all. There's no "safe" way to use drugs. Teach your kids the truth.

Girl, the security staff aren't talking to you about who they give Narcan too. Just stop with your BS lol

[Anonymous]

Ok so the Narcan is a great analogy and the "I am not supplying my kids with condom" moms are clearly also the "I'd not supplying my kids with Narcan" moms.

They think by not offering anything and being stern with their own personal values that their kids won't do drugs or have sex. And they think if you put some condoms and/or narcan in your house it will be immediately be a drug-infested brothel. And that is just how their parenting is going to be and they think it's correct. So be it. Kudos to you all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have girls (14, 16) and I purchase condoms and leave them in the bathroom under the counter. They should always have 2 on them. Give them to friends too. It shouldn’t be just the guy’s responsibility. They also carry Narcan. Does that mean I am ok with them being around drugs?

I mean, yes, it does. What do you think it means?

You're crazy. I've shown my goody-two-shoes kids how to administer Narcan if they should ever be in that position as well as telling them how to do CPR and use a defibrillator. It's that kind of world now.

Do you have nicotine patches in case they get hooked on cigarettes or tobacco vapes and need them?

Do you have suboxone just in case they become addicted to opioids?

If yes, then your logic with condoms and Narcan is consistent.

If not, ask yourself why you’re stocking condoms and Narcan, even though you insist you’re not encouraging adolescent sex and drug use, just in case but not those other items, just in case.

You don't get the situation out there. I don't have too much experience with the condom issue but it is irresponsible for you to pontify about Narcan. Sounds like you are one of those 60 year olds who like to post on this forum or a mom of a little kid, you seem so out of touch.

Try again. I have a 16 year old son. My stance on sex and drugs is clear. We’ve had a lot of conversations with him about why we hold those stances and our expectations of him.

If he chooses to disobey and deviate from that despite that understanding, then that is his choice and the consequences are on him. But he can’t say he made those choices because he thought it was ok with us.

By supplying your kids with a steady supply of condoms and Narcan, you ARE normalizing that behavior, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

So your that mom. Yes, I've heard you mention this. We make different parenting choices.

And you're THAT parent, who breathlessly insists that they AREN'T encouraging their kids to have sex and do drugs while steadily refreshing the condom and Narcan supply without question. For some reason, THAT makes sense to you.

It makes sense to more than one of us. If you want to tell your kid “don’t have sex”, and then let the chips fall where they may when he does, have at it. I have managed to tell both of my kids that they’re not ready for sex, but when the time comes I will help them do it safely. If you think this is encouraging them, you don’t get the subtle nuances of the conversation. There is zero encouragement to go out and have sex. ZERO.

Yes. This is PRECISELY where our parenting paths diverge. There is no way in HELL that I am "helping my [adolescent] kids to have sex," safely or otherwise. Period. No way. It's inappropriate and that's not my role as a parent.

Even if they were grown adults, it would be grossly inappropriate for me to "help them" have sex. You people are too enmeshed and entangled with your sons. You have an Oedipal complex and it's sick.

Again: If you as a parent need to supply your kids and aid them in having sex, I would argue that they are not mature and responsible enough to be engaging in that kind of activity. Sex comes with REAL, ADULT consequences. You can't shield them from that even though you think you're doing something great by supplying your son with condoms and facilitating the hook-ups by closing the door behind you and turning off the lights so your teenage son can bang his girlfriend in your living room.

In the 90's my mom took me to get BCP when I was 16 and had a long term boyfriend. She actively helped me choose a path to be safe. It changed our relationship so much for the better. It really made me realize it wasn't me against my mom all the time.

But reading your write up about you thinking suppling birth control to your teens mean you are asking them to have sex in your living room or overly involved in their personal lives, just shows how ridiculous and old-fashion, and completely naive your parenting thought process is. It's sad, immature, and my way or the high way mentality. Your kids will never communicate or feel safe with you.

That's nice. I had a great relationship with my parents and I didn't have to open up about my sex life for that to happen. I didn't have to tell them when I lost virginity nor was I reliant on them to supply me with birth control for me to feel close to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have girls (14, 16) and I purchase condoms and leave them in the bathroom under the counter. They should always have 2 on them. Give them to friends too. It shouldn’t be just the guy’s responsibility. They also carry Narcan. Does that mean I am ok with them being around drugs?

I mean, yes, it does. What do you think it means?

You're crazy. I've shown my goody-two-shoes kids how to administer Narcan if they should ever be in that position as well as telling them how to do CPR and use a defibrillator. It's that kind of world now.

Do you have nicotine patches in case they get hooked on cigarettes or tobacco vapes and need them?

Do you have suboxone just in case they become addicted to opioids?

If yes, then your logic with condoms and Narcan is consistent.

If not, ask yourself why you’re stocking condoms and Narcan, even though you insist you’re not encouraging adolescent sex and drug use, just in case but not those other items, just in case.

You don't get the situation out there. I don't have too much experience with the condom issue but it is irresponsible for you to pontify about Narcan. Sounds like you are one of those 60 year olds who like to post on this forum or a mom of a little kid, you seem so out of touch.

Try again. I have a 16 year old son. My stance on sex and drugs is clear. We’ve had a lot of conversations with him about why we hold those stances and our expectations of him.

If he chooses to disobey and deviate from that despite that understanding, then that is his choice and the consequences are on him. But he can’t say he made those choices because he thought it was ok with us.

By supplying your kids with a steady supply of condoms and Narcan, you ARE normalizing that behavior, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

+1

If the child is mature enough to make his own choices (like having sex or using drugs), then he is also mature enough to accept the responsibility for those choices.

It would be irresponsible not to talk with your kids about sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. but that does not mean that supplying them with the implements (and tacit approval) to engage in these activities is responsible.

So if your kid decides to have sex and gets pregnant, she’s on her own? Or if she takes drugs and no one has narcan and she dies - you’re just gonna say “oh well! She chose to do drugs - thems the breaks!” and move on with your day?

If your kid has sex and gets pregnant, she's not on her own per se but now there's a consequence: To keep the baby or have an abortion. There will be hefty psychological and emotional consequences with either decision. You can't save her from that, mom.

If she takes drugs and dies, that is NOT your fault. You as the parent do not bear responsibility for your child's poor choice. Would you tell a parent whose child died by suicide that their child's decision to take their own life was their fault? Of course not. A drug overdose is no different.

Sure you can. With a condom.

What if you give her the condom and she doesn't use it? Or she starts off using it and feels uncomfortable and they take it off?

Simply giving them condoms does not ensure they will use it or use it every time, as I have repeatedly stated. Especially since we're talking about teenagers, who are not well-known for being thorough and responsible when adults aren't watching.

Y'all are deluding yourselves if you think giving them condoms is the way out of this situation.

And you’re deluding yourself if you think telling your kid “our rules say no sex until you’re an adult” will actually keep them from sneaking around and having sex.

Once again, you are missing that huge middle ground which includes “if you want to have sex, go ahead and sneak around but before you do go buy a condom yourself and then make sure to use it”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so the Narcan is a great analogy and the "I am not supplying my kids with condom" moms are clearly also the "I'd not supplying my kids with Narcan" moms.

They think by not offering anything and being stern with their own personal values that their kids won't do drugs or have sex. And they think if you put some condoms and/or narcan in your house it will be immediately be a drug-infested brothel. And that is just how their parenting is going to be and they think it's correct. So be it. Kudos to you all.

And kudos to you as well. When you walk in on your teens banging in your kitchen, you can at least reassure yourself with the fact that a condom is present. And given how involved you are, I'm sure you wouldn't be shy about interrupting them momentarily to do a condom check before you delightfully tell them to resume thrusting in your house.

Or, after you revive your teen from their overdose with your Narcan (because you're a REAL-WORLD PREPARED MOM), smiling at your dazed and confused teen as you beam at them and say, "Good thing I keep the Narcan around in the house, huh, honey? Aren't I a good mom?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so the Narcan is a great analogy and the "I am not supplying my kids with condom" moms are clearly also the "I'd not supplying my kids with Narcan" moms.

They think by not offering anything and being stern with their own personal values that their kids won't do drugs or have sex. And they think if you put some condoms and/or narcan in your house it will be immediately be a drug-infested brothel. And that is just how their parenting is going to be and they think it's correct. So be it. Kudos to you all.

I absolutely 100% expect my kids not to do drugs. If my kids need narcan then the failure on my part happened years BEFORE that point was reached, not the point at which I didn’t supply narcan. I would never send my teen to a party with narcan to “save others” - if I thought that would be a concern, my teen would NOT BE GOING to that party.

I am fully aware that at some point my teens will have sex, but I expect them to 1) buy and use protection like the mature-enough-to-have-sex people they think they are, and 2) put enough effort into sneaking around that I don’t have to know about their sex lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so the Narcan is a great analogy and the "I am not supplying my kids with condom" moms are clearly also the "I'd not supplying my kids with Narcan" moms.

They think by not offering anything and being stern with their own personal values that their kids won't do drugs or have sex. And they think if you put some condoms and/or narcan in your house it will be immediately be a drug-infested brothel. And that is just how their parenting is going to be and they think it's correct. So be it. Kudos to you all.

I absolutely 100% expect my kids not to do drugs. If my kids need narcan then the failure on my part happened years BEFORE that point was reached, not the point at which I didn’t supply narcan. I would never send my teen to a party with narcan to “save others” - if I thought that would be a concern, my teen would NOT BE GOING to that party.

I am fully aware that at some point my teens will have sex, but I expect them to 1) buy and use protection like the mature-enough-to-have-sex people they think they are, and 2) put enough effort into sneaking around that I don’t have to know about their sex lives.

THANK YOU! I really don't know why this thought process is so radical to some people.

I repeat: If you have to buy protection for people who want to engage in sex, maybe they're not old or mature enough to do so??? And somehow I'm the crazy person for finding it to be absurd that I as a parent should supply my minor children with condoms so they can have sex and I can deal with the consequences if even despite my giving them condoms, a pregnancy or STD happens anyway???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so the Narcan is a great analogy and the "I am not supplying my kids with condom" moms are clearly also the "I'd not supplying my kids with Narcan" moms.

They think by not offering anything and being stern with their own personal values that their kids won't do drugs or have sex. And they think if you put some condoms and/or narcan in your house it will be immediately be a drug-infested brothel. And that is just how their parenting is going to be and they think it's correct. So be it. Kudos to you all.

And kudos to you as well. When you walk in on your teens banging in your kitchen, you can at least reassure yourself with the fact that a condom is present. And given how involved you are, I'm sure you wouldn't be shy about interrupting them momentarily to do a condom check before you delightfully tell them to resume thrusting in your house.

Or, after you revive your teen from their overdose with your Narcan (because you're a REAL-WORLD PREPARED MOM), smiling at your dazed and confused teen as you beam at them and say, "Good thing I keep the Narcan around in the house, huh, honey? Aren't I a good mom?"

Oh sweetie the time to stop trolling or drinking is now, because this retort just confirmed everything the PP stated and you look like a fool. Kinda like Marjorie Taylor Greene always thinking she is right. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so the Narcan is a great analogy and the "I am not supplying my kids with condom" moms are clearly also the "I'd not supplying my kids with Narcan" moms.

They think by not offering anything and being stern with their own personal values that their kids won't do drugs or have sex. And they think if you put some condoms and/or narcan in your house it will be immediately be a drug-infested brothel. And that is just how their parenting is going to be and they think it's correct. So be it. Kudos to you all.

I absolutely 100% expect my kids not to do drugs. If my kids need narcan then the failure on my part happened years BEFORE that point was reached, not the point at which I didn’t supply narcan. I would never send my teen to a party with narcan to “save others” - if I thought that would be a concern, my teen would NOT BE GOING to that party.

I am fully aware that at some point my teens will have sex, but I expect them to 1) buy and use protection like the mature-enough-to-have-sex people they think they are, and 2) put enough effort into sneaking around that I don’t have to know about their sex lives.

Weed is legal in many states and weed is also sometimes laced with fentanyl unknowingly. If you think your kids will never smoke weed in their entire high school or college life or you failed as a parent, you are just gonna have kids that never communicate anything with you since you will forever be disappointed in them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so the Narcan is a great analogy and the "I am not supplying my kids with condom" moms are clearly also the "I'd not supplying my kids with Narcan" moms.

They think by not offering anything and being stern with their own personal values that their kids won't do drugs or have sex. And they think if you put some condoms and/or narcan in your house it will be immediately be a drug-infested brothel. And that is just how their parenting is going to be and they think it's correct. So be it. Kudos to you all.

I absolutely 100% expect my kids not to do drugs. If my kids need narcan then the failure on my part happened years BEFORE that point was reached, not the point at which I didn’t supply narcan. I would never send my teen to a party with narcan to “save others” - if I thought that would be a concern, my teen would NOT BE GOING to that party.

I am fully aware that at some point my teens will have sex, but I expect them to 1) buy and use protection like the mature-enough-to-have-sex people they think they are, and 2) put enough effort into sneaking around that I don’t have to know about their sex lives.

Weed is legal in many states and weed is also sometimes laced with fentanyl unknowingly. If you think your kids will never smoke weed in their entire high school or college life or you failed as a parent, you are just gonna have kids that never communicate anything with you since you will forever be disappointed in them

I never smoked weed in high school or college. And I’m not special. Lots of people, believe it or not, make it to adulthood without doing drugs.

[Anonymous]

To the OP: Don't buy condoms for your 14yo, have a conversation with him about the whole thing, possibly with his GF also present, give them your opinion on the pitfalls of having sex at their ages. Be sure to also listen to what they have to say about it.

Don't give permission to have sex but do tell them that whenever they each decide to become sexually active they should get themselves some birth control, make sure they know condoms don't always prevent pregnancy nor every STD. Tell them they can buy condoms and/or get Rx for BC pills or whatever. Tell them that's what sexually active mature people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so the Narcan is a great analogy and the "I am not supplying my kids with condom" moms are clearly also the "I'd not supplying my kids with Narcan" moms.

They think by not offering anything and being stern with their own personal values that their kids won't do drugs or have sex. And they think if you put some condoms and/or narcan in your house it will be immediately be a drug-infested brothel. And that is just how their parenting is going to be and they think it's correct. So be it. Kudos to you all.

I absolutely 100% expect my kids not to do drugs. If my kids need narcan then the failure on my part happened years BEFORE that point was reached, not the point at which I didn’t supply narcan. I would never send my teen to a party with narcan to “save others” - if I thought that would be a concern, my teen would NOT BE GOING to that party.

I am fully aware that at some point my teens will have sex, but I expect them to 1) buy and use protection like the mature-enough-to-have-sex people they think they are, and 2) put enough effort into sneaking around that I don’t have to know about their sex lives.

Weed is legal in many states and weed is also sometimes laced with fentanyl unknowingly. If you think your kids will never smoke weed in their entire high school or college life or you failed as a parent, you are just gonna have kids that never communicate anything with you since you will forever be disappointed in them

I never smoked weed in high school or college. And I’m not special. Lots of people, believe it or not, make it to adulthood without doing drugs.

Marijuana wasn’t legal when we were growing up. It is much more popular than cigarettes and alcohol now which both have decreased while marijuana increases every year. Edibles, vapes, carts, etc… are easily stashed and have no smell. They are in all high schools and used a lot even during the school day unfortunately.

In 2022 59% high schoolers have tried marijuana at least once and 8% report daily use and 37% report weekly to monthly use.

For college students, only 33% of college students have NOT used marijuana in the last 3 months and only 18% have never tried it at all.